@thepax89 I've rationalized things crazier than that for sure - you're not crazy you're just pregnant - because that's what you are, you pregnant lady, you.
@ThePax89 My triggers are a sore throat and Pyogenic granulomas on my fingers. Always ended up with the bumps on my fingers during my miscarriages. I thought I was getting one the other day, but it was just a scab. I'm 100% crazy.
Horray for all the great news and scans! I'm keeping my Fx for Thursday something really creepy happened with my phone and it's making me over think everything less than 48 hours to go!
After my MMC I found some songs that talked about loss and they really helped me work through the grieving process. They are still on my phone although it has been ages since I listened to them. I had closed my music app completly but it randomly opened when I got into my car and the bluetooth started playing one of the songs on repeat! I had turned shuffle on and repeat off earlier yesterday but it was so random that it played that song with that title and on repeat!! I am trying not to overthink and think of it as a sign. I just can't handle it. I need everything to be ok I'm just a bit freaked out
@Briala yikes. Maybe a way of reframing it is thinking it was your lost baby telling you everything is going to be okay. That he or she is with you protecting this child.
1. Tell us about yourself (if your first time participating) Hi ladies, I'm hesitantly posting here. I have a long history of 7 miscarriages and infertility. I am lucky to have a 2 year old daughter and since have had an IUD removal surgery due to it being inserted through my uterus to my pelvis, then 4 IUIs, 3 miscarriages, and now this surprise "freebie" pregnancy during our (oops) rest month. I am due Jan 3, have had 2 ultrasounds and multiple bloodwork, I can hear the heartbeat daily on my doppler, and yet I still can't get emotionally attached to this pregnancy. It's killing me but I have such a wall up that I feel so bad that I can't connect.
2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) very tired, raging heartburn
3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I'm not super anxious, just blah about everything. I stopped the progesterone supps so that made me kind of anxious but hearing the heartbeat every day eases my mind.
4. When is your first or next appointment? NT scan next Tuesday
5. Rants/raves/whatever I don't have the energy to change my siggy from my last BMB so I don't remember what's on there.... I've been avoiding the bump in general.
6. GTKY: what is your favorite thing to binge watch on Netflix? Don't have Netflix but if I did I would binge watch Parenthood
Married 9/18/10 TTC 1/1/12 BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13 BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13 BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
@Heeb918 welcome. I'm so sorry for your losses. Congratulations on your rainbow. It is incredibly difficult to connect with pregnancies post losses. I'm struggling too.
My scan next week cannot come soon enough. I've had some teeny tiny cramps and a bad dream that I was bleeding. Today I'm 9+3, which is how far I was when I found out my babe no longer had a beating heart.
How do you all cope with these defeating thoughts? I'm so sad that I'm just not embracing this pregnancy as much as I did with my daughter. I'm so jaded.
Throwing this out there, just because Wednesday...fuck miscarriage.
@ThePax89 This time around I'm pretty calm... Mostly just because I feel so disconnected. But with some of my other losses I will say that at this point in your pregnancy, little cramps and twinges can be good signs! I would only worry if it was big bad cramping. Also.... Might not hurt to invest in a Doppler. It really eases my mind between appointments, but I do know for some people it can be more stressful if they can't find the heartbeat. It's always been pretty easy for me bc I youtubed a bunch of videos with my last pregnancy. HTH!
Married 9/18/10 TTC 1/1/12 BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13 BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13 BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
@thepax89 what a nerve wracking milestone to hit. I am afraid I don't have much to offer in the way of advice for dealing with the defeating thoughts - but I can offer creepy internet hugs.
Possible tw: the cramps just got really bad. So bad that another few minutes and I would have called the OB emergency line. I'm not sure what to do. They have eased but are worse than they were at the start of the day. Do I call? No bleeding. Fuck fuck fuck
@ThePax89 I tried at 9w4d and found it after about 30 seconds. But you have to know where to look... It's way lower than you would assume. I would say if you are cramping a ton a call to the on call doc may not be a bad idea, but know that they will basically give you the option to wait until tomorrow to come in or tell you to go to the ER, which is usually very expensive and heaven forbid if something is wrong they wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. If it was me I would call FIRST thing in the am and make sure you reiterate your history and let them know you are concerned.
Married 9/18/10 TTC 1/1/12 BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13 BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13 BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
@Heeb918 thank you. I always know the er is an option, so calling now is pointless. I'll call in the am and demand an ultrasound. I'll order my Doppler too. Do you have a sonoline?
@ThePax89 I agree with everyone else. Call in the AM and ask for an appointment ASAP. **Loss mentioned** I had a Doppler with my 2nd MMC. I'm a RN and at the time had to do Doppler checks on patients after surgery. I picked up the first HB around 8w5d. And then it was iffy after that. At my 11 week appt the baby had already passed. Everyone (including the doc) had just reassured me when I could no longer get it that it was just too early and I didn't know what I was doing. I don't know if it's worth the stress. I'm not getting one this time.
Good news. (I think) This is rediculous. I think I might have food poisoning. Literally the only time food poisoning could be a good thing. Good because that would explain the intense cramping. DH is sick too.
@ThePax89 omg!!! That could totally be it! Sorry for feeling crappy but yay! I hope that means everything is fine. I do have a sonoline b. Ordered from Amazon.
Married 9/18/10 TTC 1/1/12 BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13 BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13 BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
For some reason I thought I had heard that dopplers could be dangerous? I'm not sire where I got that from though. Maybe it was just the stress of someone not knowing what they are doing and missing the heartbeat and then freaking out?
@thepax89 let's hope it's food poisoning as silly as it sounds Fx
@briala I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that at home dopplers are inherently dangerous. I think, in general, ultrasound waves can "heat" tissue and the potential risks of ultrasounds are mixed. Obviously, doctors perform ultrasounds all the time on pregnant women because we can gather important information from them. I think the general guidance though is that dopplers, ultrasounds, etc., should only be used when "medially necessary" -- i.e., when your doctor orders it. So this may be the "danger" your referring to. I think a conservative approach to the issue is to receive ultrasounds and dopplers from your medical provider. I also think part of this guidance does stem from the fact that clinics and hospitals don't want every pregnant woman freaking out and running to the ER/clinic if they can't find a heartbeat, or if they go get a 3D or 4D ultrasound and think something is wrong. I personally will not be using one, but that is because I know it will cause more anxiety for me than it's worth.
I had a very uplifting appointment yesterday We were able to see and hear the babe's heartbeat on the ultrasound. Even saw it's tiny arms and legs moving. Incredible. Tears of joy and relief were streaming down both of our faces. I can finally breathe a little easier.
@curlysue22 wonderful news!! What a sweet treat to see baby moving!
Its been a week since since we've seen our squish and I think the anxiety is starting back up again. I know there is no reason to assume anything has gone wrong but I just keep thinking what if it has and we won't know until our next appointment in 3 weeks. I just hate that MMC are a thing that actually happen. And I hate that I've had two of them. Today's a day for distraction for sure. Just going to stick my nose in a book and ignore the outside world.
@ceclarlinetlo the same thing started to happen to me inbetween visits. And I'm sure it will again! I know I've said this before, so I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I think the best think you can do is identify that the anxiety you are experiencing is based on a fear that you have from a past experience. A fear is not the same as a fact, and a thought or feeling doesn't make something true. The facts you have is that everything looked great at your last appointment. Nothing has changed since then. Try not to let your fear do the talking - it's based on the past, nothing that's happening now!
@ceclarlinetlo Ugh. MMC totally mess with your mind. I can relate but have no sound advice for you. Just gonna send you some good ole creepy internet hugs.
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
me 38 DH 39. TTC#1 since July 2014 AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. Headed to Prague April 30 3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16 BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
I meant to post this update yesterday, and I thought I did but, alas, pregnancy brain strikes again.
***UPDATE*** I had my second ultrasound yesterday and everything looks great! We got to see our little "Coffee Bean* waving, kicking, and wiggling for the camera! Baby is measuring a week ahead of last time, so EDD will probably be moved to. January 5th and I'm 10 weeks today. I can't get over how baby looks like an actual baby now, as opposed to a teddy graham! Ugh, I'm so in love.
Our u/s is today so nervous. I've felt so calm (for the most part lol) since last weeks u/s but don't feel that way today.. it's still three hours away. I hope we see a beautiful heartbeat this time, but I have tried not to let myself get too hopeful so i wont be as let down, but somehow I've still gotten excited. Ughhhhhh thank goodness dd is napping BC I can't think of anything to do to entertain her or myself for the next 3 hrs.
@lcartee2016 that is awesome!!! Very happy for you. I'm so curious if they're going to move my date too. I was measuring 5 days ahead of LMP at my last scan (4 days ahead of O). I only saw the tech though so I won't be able to really ask about that until I see my doctor in a little over a week. Did your doctor have any insight as to why you're measuring ahead? I'm certain on my dates and know when I ovulated via temping.
Thinking of you @Jkp7749 . I was a nervous wreck before my appointment yesterday too. I told DH to grab a box of tissues before I laid down, because I knew I'd need them either way. I had such negative thoughts creeping in going into it, but it turned out great and chances are yours will too!
@susykat77 a bit crampy this morning. But not abnormal. I slept fine last night. Now I'm just terrified. I called the nurse line and the nurse thinks I was just sick but put me on pelvic rest. Ultrasound Wednesday
Re: Weekly PGAL check in 6.6.16
Thats three for three today ladies! What a great day!
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
@susykat77@Gapeach83
Me: 26 DH: 29 Married 8/4/2012
BFP #1 8/20/2013 | EDD 5/4/2014 | MMC 10/2/2013 9w3d | D&C 10/8/2013
BFP #2 2/8/2014 (kinda) EDD 10/29/2014 | DS Born 10/8/2014
TTCAL 11/2015 BFP #3 5/12/16 | EDD Jan 2017
I'm just a bit freaked out
**Trigger Warning**
the song was The Child is Gone by Fiona Apple
Me: 26 DH: 29 Married 8/4/2012
BFP #1 8/20/2013 | EDD 5/4/2014 | MMC 10/2/2013 9w3d | D&C 10/8/2013
BFP #2 2/8/2014 (kinda) EDD 10/29/2014 | DS Born 10/8/2014
TTCAL 11/2015 BFP #3 5/12/16 | EDD Jan 2017
2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) very tired, raging heartburn
3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I'm not super anxious, just blah about everything. I stopped the progesterone supps so that made me kind of anxious but hearing the heartbeat every day eases my mind.
4. When is your first or next appointment? NT scan next Tuesday
6. GTKY: what is your favorite thing to binge watch on Netflix? Don't have Netflix but if I did I would binge watch Parenthood
Married 9/18/10
TTC 1/1/12
BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13
BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13
BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
Laparoscopic surgery 8/15 to remove misplaced IUD
BFP #4, #5, #6 (Letrozole+IUI)all MMC, BFP #7 EDD 1/3/2017
DS born 4/06/14
MC #2 August 2015
CP November 2015
MC#3 January 2016
BFP 5/11/16 EDD 1/19/17
How do you all cope with these defeating thoughts? I'm so sad that I'm just not embracing this pregnancy as much as I did with my daughter. I'm so jaded.
Throwing this out there, just because Wednesday...fuck miscarriage.
Married 9/18/10
TTC 1/1/12
BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13
BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13
BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
Laparoscopic surgery 8/15 to remove misplaced IUD
BFP #4, #5, #6 (Letrozole+IUI)all MMC, BFP #7 EDD 1/3/2017
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
Married 9/18/10
TTC 1/1/12
BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13
BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13
BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
Laparoscopic surgery 8/15 to remove misplaced IUD
BFP #4, #5, #6 (Letrozole+IUI)all MMC, BFP #7 EDD 1/3/2017
DS born 4/06/14
MC #2 August 2015
CP November 2015
MC#3 January 2016
BFP 5/11/16 EDD 1/19/17
**Loss mentioned**
I had a Doppler with my 2nd MMC. I'm a RN and at the time had to do Doppler checks on patients after surgery. I picked up the first HB around 8w5d. And then it was iffy after that. At my 11 week appt the baby had already passed. Everyone (including the doc) had just reassured me when I could no longer get it that it was just too early and I didn't know what I was doing. I don't know if it's worth the stress. I'm not getting one this time.
Married 9/18/10
TTC 1/1/12
BFP #1 12/13/12 MMC Confirmed 1/30/13
BFP #2 6/17/13, (Clomid+Ovidrel) CP Confirmed 6/26/13
BFP #3 8/14/2013 (Letrozole+IUI) Charlie Grace born 5/2/2014
Laparoscopic surgery 8/15 to remove misplaced IUD
BFP #4, #5, #6 (Letrozole+IUI)all MMC, BFP #7 EDD 1/3/2017
@thepax89 let's hope it's food poisoning as silly as it sounds Fx
Me: 26 DH: 29 Married 8/4/2012
BFP #1 8/20/2013 | EDD 5/4/2014 | MMC 10/2/2013 9w3d | D&C 10/8/2013
BFP #2 2/8/2014 (kinda) EDD 10/29/2014 | DS Born 10/8/2014
TTCAL 11/2015 BFP #3 5/12/16 | EDD Jan 2017
BFP 2/3/16 --> MC 2/13/16
Its been a week since since we've seen our squish and I think the anxiety is starting back up again. I know there is no reason to assume anything has gone wrong but I just keep thinking what if it has and we won't know until our next appointment in 3 weeks. I just hate that MMC are a thing that actually happen. And I hate that I've had two of them. Today's a day for distraction for sure. Just going to stick my nose in a book and ignore the outside world.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
@thePax89 I have never wished for anyone to have food poisoning but I hope that is what it is. Did you call you doc this morning?
@curlysue22 So happy for you!!!
@ceclarlinetlo Ugh. MMC totally mess with your mind. I can relate but have no sound advice for you. Just gonna send you some good ole creepy internet hugs.
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com
***UPDATE***
I had my second ultrasound yesterday and everything looks great! We got to see our little "Coffee Bean* waving, kicking, and wiggling for the camera! Baby is measuring a week ahead of last time, so EDD will probably be moved to. January 5th and I'm 10 weeks today.
I can't get over how baby looks like an actual baby now, as opposed to a teddy graham! Ugh, I'm so in love.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
Team Blue ~ Jan. 20
DS born 9/4/12
MMC July 2015
MMC January 2016
@curlysue22 so happy for you too!!!
@jpk7749 good luck! I'm pulling for you!
Thinking of you @Jkp7749 . I was a nervous wreck before my appointment yesterday too. I told DH to grab a box of tissues before I laid down, because I knew I'd need them either way. I had such negative thoughts creeping in going into it, but it turned out great and chances are yours will too!
BFP 2/3/16 --> MC 2/13/16
***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***
TTC#1 since July 2014
AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
DE attempt in Czech Republic!!
March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis.
Headed to Prague April 30
3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com