Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
wsgjmw1
member
Re: Comments from strangers - PP edition
I had an unsolicited comment in the park by an old lady who didn't want to mind her own business the other day. It was a warm day and I had LO in his pram and could tell he was getting hot (his little shirt was getting sweaty and he tends to run hot especially when he sleeps). I took off his socks and hat to help him cool down and took him out of the stroller to sit on my lap and get a breeze. This old bag on the next bench comes over to tell me that I better put a hat on my baby because he's cold. I go "actually he's very warm" and she very sarcastically says, "okay!" Pissed me off.
Took dd to the pedi last week. Old ass nurse (seriously she's ancient) asked what "his" name is. Baby is wrapped in a PINK blanket, wearing a PINK footie with cats on it. Safe to assume it's a "her". When I say her name is Harper, bitch nurse tells me that's a "generic name" (Harper then peed all over her!). On our way home, some trashy woman comes up to me on the street, tells me it of no where it will take time to loose the weight, then tells me I should have had twins like j.lo. Okkkayyyy....
Ive had people come up to me to tell me that it's too hot out for the baby and to feed her water.
Random people dh works with, who I've never met, have insisted I try bf again.
Opinions are like assholes, ya know. And most people giving their opinion are assholes I'm learning.
The oddest thing I've encountered so far is, by this point, several older men have complimented me on my boys (DS1 is usually really good in stores now) and have told me that I make nice babies and to keep making babies. I know it's meant as a compliment, but it still makes me feel weird to hear it phrased that way. I guess it just ruffles my feminist feathers a tiny bit.
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
I feel like if we have a third everyone will automatically assume it's because we are "trying to have a girl", which would be lovely, but that's not how science works. And I've always imagined having three boys. So shut it, everyone.
Eta: oh I forgot, at the pediatrician earlier a woman introduced herself and handed me a card saying she's a mommy and baby fitness instructor. Apparently she has the dress I'm wearing so she felt like we "would totally get along." I can't decide if she was hinting I need to get myself sorted or being friendly.
pp so it really can only improve from here.
Something that makes me laugh- every morning I take LO out on a walk, and we go by the exit of our subdivision at rush hour when there is a line of cars leaving. When it's just me and LO, no one says anything to us. When MH comes along with us and holds her, a bunch of women roll down their windows and try to chat him up like I'm not even there!
Ok, the second part was in my head.
Good thing he had booties on! Mitts off my 2 week old with your nasty fingers lady! I don't know where they've been!
But she did end by saying how tiny I looked for only 2 weeks PP, which was nice but don't touch my dang baby!
I also get lots of questions on if I'm breastfeeding. Still not sure why that is anyone's business, but it really irks me and is way more common than I was expecting.
i haven't gotten any bad comments so far but that story made me on the hunt for other moms so I can tell them they're good moms and try and help them when I can- I mean, I hear you moms struggling at the store and I think "why didn't someone offer to help you check out while you helped your baby?!"
People suck.
Lady nr 1 - "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I will. There are posts being shared on Facebook about kids being stolen at the moment and this week especially. They (the thiefs) are targeting moms this week at schools". OK THANKS - never going to send my kid to school then.
Lady nr 2 - whilst we were waiting for his bili count - 'Aw shame does he have jaundice?' Lady, you can't just ask people why their baby is yellow...
Here's another one: every time my dad sees me, he tells me how tired I look and this last time, apparently I looked "sick and green". I know he's only saying that out of concern but...
DUDE! What the heck am I going to do about it, captain obvious?! Clearly you're not going to help me overnight and feed the baby so I can get my beauty sleep! I know I look tired and awful, I don't need you to remind me every. damn. time!
The next time he says that again (and he will), that is exactly what I plan to say because I'm sleep deprived and have no filter anymore.
Because it's you who posted that, I had to.
Otoh, people keep commenting that I look amazing for pushing out 2 babies 7 weeks ago. This breastfeeding twins part does have its perks.
How long did you go on the exhange for? Hope you had as much fun as what I did?
My comment isn't from a stranger but a family member. So my family keeps asking how baby and I are and instead of giving the generic "We're good" answer I have been honest about my struggles with colic from hell. Most people have been very nice about it or have offered help in the way of remedies or possible ways to soothe Lucy. However; I told one person about the 8+ hour cry times and she says "did you try feeding her in that time?" Of course I fed my baby! Shes crying for 8 hours and you think I didn't feed her once in all that time?! I was nicer and just said "Yes, she ate." I explained that the doctors said she just has to grow out of it and she replies with "Maybe she is just very hungry. I think its hunger" It makes me feel like she thinks i'm a terrible mom and dont know how to take care of Lucine.
"it's a fresh one!"
totally made my night:)
I also explained that to my stylist who went on to tell me that most preemies he's met seem permanently delayed but that my baby seemed normal from pictures. I told him 32 weekers have the same long term prognosis as 40 weekers but that, again, no shit a three month old preemie is not the same as a three month old full term baby. That doesn't mean my son is delayed, he's just a 44 week old being as opposed to a 52 week old being. See my rant above.
I think sometimes people say stuff without realizing how dumb or offensive it sounds. I remember feeling really awkward around pregnant women as I felt compelled to comment on the size of their bump. Then when I was pregnant, I cringed whenever anyone inspected me to comment on my stomach and mentally beat myself for everything I ever said to a pregnant woman before. I wish I could go back in time and instead talk to those pregnant women about anything other than their bumps. Live and learn.