well I had a legit question and was looking for advice but now I can't erase my post. I read the whole "Google" thread. I've never felt more unwelcome / uncomfortable to post here. I feel like I accidentally butted into a high school clique conversation. Sorry about bothering anyone. I'll be sure to not post on this board again. After my mmc, I am so afraid to be pregnant again and I'm not into the whole welcome message of this board. So thanks for that.
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 4-25-2014 TTC: March 2015 BFP: 2-18-16 Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16 D&C: 4-2-16 TTCAL: May 2016 IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
Hey there, that post at the top was written a long time ago and not by anyone who participates here anymore. We're friendly, promise. Sometimes I cringe because of that post at the top - it is not representative of the culture here now at all.
I did read your original post and would love to try to help, if you're still down.
Edit: does anyone know if we might possibly get that thread unpinned? It's really not very kind.
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
What @reneeannemm said is true. I was incredibly nervous to post here the first time but everyone is incredibly welcoming and supportive. This is a highly emotional time for all of us and we're all here to help best we can if you give us a chance
We are a much more welcoming community than that post sounds. We do not flame here and there is no snarky attack for asking questions. If it is something that doesn't fit here we usually will suggest a place you are more likely to find a helpful answer. Those of us here see TTC from a different side that most of the other women on TB so we are happy to help when and where we can
@chloe97 How does one talk with The Bump Gods anyway??
Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 TTC 09/15 *TW Loss mentioned* BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16 MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3 TTCAL 3/2016 Acupuncture 11/16 Dx December 2016: unexplained January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI = BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby! EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 Ambrose born on his due date!
Oh my! I hadn't really read that top post before...that is so not this group! And many many thanks to all of you who make this such a welcoming place - I hope the original poster feels comfortable coming back here!
@nmd9168 - I'm so sorry you feel unwelcome - we're a very welcoming bunch right now and I agree completely with the previous posters that the stickied post isn't reflective of who we are as a group now. And I want to actually thank you for making this comment, because it made us realize the vibe that post gives and made me realize that we might be scaring away people who need help. To my way of thinking if what someone needs is a question answered and I might be able to provide that answer - I want to hear the question. Would I prefer to have that person a part of the community, sure, but if that is what they need at that spot in their healing then I want to provide that for them.
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
Thank you very much for all of the responses. I appreciate the warm welcome. My name is Natalie. Thanks again for helping clear that up. Sorry if I was too emotional... I get that way lately...
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 4-25-2014 TTC: March 2015 BFP: 2-18-16 Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16 D&C: 4-2-16 TTCAL: May 2016 IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
@nmd9168 - seemed like an appropriate level of emotion, because all levels are appropriate. If you want to share again, we'd love to hear what your question was.
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
@nmd9168Natalie, welcome. Like the others have said, this is probably the most welcoming spot on The Bump. I was initially turned off by most of the bmbs I lurked on in previous pregnancies, but this is a different place.
We are all in various states of emotional healing and are here to support you. Don't apologize for the emotion you're experiencing... to us or anyone else.
I am sorry we meet here, but am glad you found us and hope you'll stick around/participate as you wish.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Hi @nmd9168 My dates are almost the exact same as yours. LMP 1/27, BFP 2/23, MMC and then D&C 4/5. I've had one cycle since and now am TTC again, but seem to be having an a ovulation cycle. Maybe that is what your question is about
Me: 1979 * Husband: 1976 * Little girl: 2010 * Little guy: 2013 * MMC: 2016 * Last baby: EDD 2/11/17!
Hello and welcome @nmd9168. I've only been here a cpl weeks and I felt the same as you when I read that intro. So cruel, especially when this board is for ppl that have experienced something so traumatic. But I assure this is not that way and I have felt so much better these last two weeks, hoping it does the same for you
DH - 34, Me - 32 Married 7/13 TTC #1 since 10/13 BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15 IUI #1 2/25/16
@nmd9168 So sorry for your loss, and I'm truly sorry that the "Google" thread discouraged you so much. Thank you for speaking up. None of us would have noticed otherwise. Here's to a friendlier greeting for all present and future TTCAL-ers.
I just wanted to post this here so that you might understand. I was a regular here, but moved on with most of the rest of the regulars to another group when TB pulled some shit that was not kosher. I'm honestly surprised that post was still stickied, but it was completely appropriate for the situation that was going on here at the time. We had people coming and trolling us for shits and giggles, and we were all extremely frustrated with it, and tried very much to insulate ourselves for the trolling to stop. Community is very much welcome and needed during a period of mourning, so wherever you find it, I'm sorry for your loss.
Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
F born June 2018 W born September 2020 #3 due November 2022
@16isourluckynumber Wow. We really are close in dates. It's been a rough couple of months. I'm really really sorry for your loss. =( I've actually not had a regular AF. It seemed more like heavy spotting for a few days. So I'm not sure if I'll ovulate or have been ovulating or not. =/ My husband and I have not been using protection. So I don't know how I would tell if I were pregnant. I have an appt with my OB on June 9th. So...yeah. Ugh it's frustrating
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 4-25-2014 TTC: March 2015 BFP: 2-18-16 Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16 D&C: 4-2-16 TTCAL: May 2016 IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
I just wanted to post this here so that you might understand. I was a regular here, but moved on with most of the rest of the regulars to another group when TB pulled some shit that was not kosher. I'm honestly surprised that post was still stickied, but it was completely appropriate for the situation that was going on here at the time. We had people coming and trolling us for shits and giggles, and we were all extremely frustrated with it, and tried very much to insulate ourselves for the trolling to stop. Community is very much welcome and needed during a period of mourning, so wherever you find it, I'm sorry for your loss.
Why would anyone want to troll the TTC After a Loss board? Seriously, what kind of sick/twisted person gets joy out of tormenting women who have gone through a loss and dealing the the anxiety that comes with trying to conceive again? So weird to me.
@chloe97 I think we are a prime target to ask about "if I'm pregnant" type stuff since it's a board full of women who obviously have been at some point, but the general population is inconsiderate at best and don't realize that is just shoving it in the face of women who no longer are. I think we are a vulnerable target to troll.
@SnobunnieMel ahhhh.... I was thinking about trolls like people whose goal is to terrorize the board, not ask about pee sticks and symptom spotting and then moving on. That makes more sense.
I did notice that we are a really hard board to find if you didn't know we existed. Back when I was participating in TTGP, I referred a lot of ladies who had losses to this board. Being hard to find probably helps keep the trolls out these days.
I remember the time that @mflowers9 is referencing, and @SnobunnieMel is right. It was bad. I don't think any of the drive-bys were malicious, but I remember one in particular asking for feedback from women who had successful pregnancies after xxx symptoms. You know, because so many of us have experience with successful pregnancies.... :-/
“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” ~Maya Angelou
@nmd9168 if you haven't picked up on it yet these are some of the most amazing women out there and we all welcome any woman who unfortunately makes her way here. I wish we never had to be here but I'm so thankful for all of the love and kindness these wonderful ladies have offered me.
I havent posted much here but was welcomed right away. The ladies here and on the loss board were so wonderful and continue to be. Ive met awesome women here, I even pm with a couple. Im beyond thankful for this board and I hate seeing someone not feel accepted. We are all going through a painful time and need to support one another. Im very sorry you felt that way, your more than Welcome here.
Yes, the one that @MissPrint1219 is talking about was horrible. We all were seriously wounded from that, and some backlash ensued. There was another one who we weren't ever sure if it was the husband or wife posting and they were just after a transfer, which according to the rules we had at the time, was not allowed to post here, but they completely ignored those rules and attacked the ladies who tried to redirect them to the correct forums. That prompted me to write a post (complete with gifs) on how if you're in the middle of adopting a pony, it's really super shitty to rub it in the face of someone who has been wanting and sitting and waiting for a pony of their own. Because ponies.
Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
F born June 2018 W born September 2020 #3 due November 2022
Re: Trying to ask a question but not welcome. Please delete because I can't
I did read your original post and would love to try to help, if you're still down.
Edit: does anyone know if we might possibly get that thread unpinned? It's really not very kind.
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
TTC 09/15
*TW Loss mentioned*
BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
TTCAL 3/2016
Acupuncture 11/16
Dx December 2016: unexplained
January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
BFP #2 01/30/17 Please be a sticky baby!
EDD: 10/15/17 Measuring ahead! 10/12/17
Ambrose born on his due date!
I think sometimes this works ^
I agree that the stickied post is not reflective of the culture here anymore. I feel terribly that @nmd9168 felt unwelcome here.
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
We are all in various states of emotional healing and are here to support you. Don't apologize for the emotion you're experiencing... to us or anyone else.
I am sorry we meet here, but am glad you found us and hope you'll stick around/participate as you wish.
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL! E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
Married 7/13
TTC #1 since 10/13
BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
IUI #1 2/25/16
Me: 40, DH: 35 / Married: 2009; TTC #1: 2013
2013 - 2015: 5 pregnancies —> 5 miscarriages
TTCAL with RE (RPL specialist): February 2016
2016: 3 medicated TI cycles —> 3 medicated IUI cycles: All BFN
Donor Egg IVF Transfer: May 1, 2017
May 11, 2017: BFP!! Beta #1: 449.1, Beta #2: 844, Beta #3: 1714
EDD: 1/17/18, it's a GIRL! E. L. A. born 12/7/2017
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Me (39) DH (40)
From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06
DH- no kids
******************
TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN
IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!! 2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days, D&C: 2/17/16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
**10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!!
Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
Community is very much welcome and needed during a period of mourning, so wherever you find it, I'm sorry for your loss.
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17
and it sucks.
I did notice that we are a really hard board to find if you didn't know we existed. Back when I was participating in TTGP, I referred a lot of ladies who had losses to this board. Being hard to find probably helps keep the trolls out these days.
~~~~ TW ~~~~~~
Me: 40 DH: 39
Married 12.19.13
BFP #1 1/14, MC 2/14 (6wks)
BFP #2 1/15, MMC/D&C 3/15 (12wks)
BFP #3 6/15, MC 8/15 (9wks)
BFP #4 4/16, MC 4/16 (5wks)
BFP #5 7/16, MMC 8/16 (10 wks)
BFP #6 3/4 , EDD 11/9/17
There was another one who we weren't ever sure if it was the husband or wife posting and they were just after a transfer, which according to the rules we had at the time, was not allowed to post here, but they completely ignored those rules and attacked the ladies who tried to redirect them to the correct forums.
That prompted me to write a post (complete with gifs) on how if you're in the middle of adopting a pony, it's really super shitty to rub it in the face of someone who has been wanting and sitting and waiting for a pony of their own. Because ponies.
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022