Dad in the delivery room? — The Bump
July 2016 Moms

Dad in the delivery room?

I need an honest opinion. I'm having a really hard time emotionally with my pregnancy. It's my first one and my husband and I are not communicating well and it's adding tension.

To make matters worse, he's the type to make stupid jokes to deal with tense situations and is very squeamish. He's already said he's afraid of throwing up or passing out during labor.

We've agreed that it'll be better for him to stay by the head of the bed and not see anything that's going on down there. I'm okay with this part, however, the closer we get and the more nervous he gets the more insensitive jokes he makes and the more emotional I get.

I'm already thinking that if he makes a joke during labor I may actually ask to have him removed from the room completely. Am I heartless for thinking of not including him in his child's birth? Has anyone else ever been here? Help please!












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Re: Dad in the delivery room?

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  • Puddles03Puddles03
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
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    edited May 2016
    And you chose to procreate with him? Good luck, sounds like you're going to need it!
  • Puddles03 said:
    And you chose to procreate with him? Good luck, sounds like you're going to need it!
    My husband is a little squeamish, should I have not decided to have a child with him? This response is really un-needed and frankly rude.

    DH 30 Me 29
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    Backbypopulardemandizza2Kittens22
  • I already know that my husband is going to be making jokes while I am in labor. That is who is he. But I know m husband well enough that if I am going through a strong contraction or something that he will be there to support me, no matter what that is, and not cracking jokes. He knows that their is a place and time for that. And if he misses my cue of me needing him in a serious moment you just use your words and communicate with your husband with what you need from him. 
    Did you ever think about how your husband is feeling with you getting close to your due date whenever that is since we don't know anything about you? Maybe his breakdown in communication is his way of being nervous about what is to come? I am not saying that his lack of communication is acceptable but just think about him for once during this process. 
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    sboston06Kellyj103Backbypopulardemandcalico34
  • Neither of you are being heartless. You're both dealing with a lot of emotions about the upcoming delivery and are expressing them in different ways. Even life's most exciting, happy times cause stress. When the time comes, I doubt you will want him removed from the room and I doubt he will be making crude comments.

    Woosah, mama.

    "The cleaning, the scrubbing will wait til tomorrow,
    For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
    So, quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
    I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."
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  • Why not tell him now that if he says anything even remotely not supportive you'll ask to have him leave. You need to be having this discussion before you're squeezing a kid out of your vagina.
    This. If you are having a kid with this person, you should be able to have a conversation with him about this.
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  • Kellyj103 said:
    My husband and I both make inappropriate comments does that mean neither one of us should be in the delivery room? I'm glad for the innappropriate comments becauss I'm sure we will both be nervous and scared and will need the distraction.

    I think you're being insensitive to his needs. Maybe that's how he copes through stressful situations. I agree with everyone else that you need to have a serious conversation with him before you start kicking him out of the room during labor. 
    Same! I am already giddy/terrified for the stream of crap that will likely come out of both our mouths. I never thought anything of it....?!
    stellaluna14Kellyj103
  • 1.) Even at he head of the bed he will see your vagina. You are curled up like a cannonball with your knees by your ears to push. Its part of labor. He will have to get over it, for real.

    2.) If he makes insensitive jokes you won't care. You'll be working on birthing a baby. Not a whole lot else will matter.


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  • 1.) Even at he head of the bed he will see your vagina. You are curled up like a cannonball with your knees by your ears to push. Its part of labor. He will have to get over it, for real.
    My husband couldn't see anything, he was sitting by my head holding my hand. And he just kind of focused on my face. Not that I don't agree with you about just getting over it, but it seems fairly possible to avoid seeing much. The people who got the REAL treat were my mom and MIL, who got there shortly after the birth. They got the joy of walking in and seeing me get stitched up! Must have been just beautiful.
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  • Lurking: My husband is very squeamish. I was worried he'd pass out during labor, and he really hates needles. I sent him out of the room when I got my epidural, and he got some fresh air. He amazed me during delivery, 4 hours of pushing and he was solid all the way through. Later he said that the adrenaline in the moment helped him push through the nausea that usually comes with the sight of seeing blood. He even cut the cord. 

    Have a talk with him about your worries, and desires for labor. He may surprise you though. 


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  • kwife15kwife15
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Talk to him ahead of time. Making stupid jokes can be his way of releasing tension and he probably doesn't mean anything personal by them. You might also be way too in the zone to care when in labor. If it gets so bad that you need to have him removed, nurses are your friends. Good luck OP!
    DSTtots4lyfeaudmomoutcrdomrsb8244
  • Alright, no more responding to these posts. We have to stick to this ladies or this is just going to continue. Someone post the correct link site and then that's it. We're getting way to many rando's in here now. 
    @kwife15
  • Lurking: My husband is very squeamish. I was worried he'd pass out during labor, and he really hates needles. I sent him out of the room when I got my epidural, and he got some fresh air. He amazed me during delivery, 4 hours of pushing and he was solid all the way through. Later he said that the adrenaline in the moment helped him push through the nausea that usually comes with the sight of seeing blood. He even cut the cord. 

    Have a talk with him about your worries, and desires for labor. He may surprise you though. 
    100% This. You're not heartless for letting the thought run through your head, but it's not an option. Anxiety about labor is normal, but this may be a great opportunity for you to appreciate his ability to step up. Give him a chance.
    audmomoutcrdomrsb8244kwife15
  • Oh look who decided to pop in.

    Their board must really be dead if they're coming over here. How sad.
    To comment on a thread under the guise of answering OPs question despite the fact that OP posted and disappeared...


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  • edited May 2016
    **Removed for TOU violation**

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