Ask a STM+ Mom, Week of 5.16.16

LastMango · May 2016

So what questions do you have this week for all the "been there, done that" moms on the board?

Let's hear em!

lindsladle15 · May 2016

This is a great idea! Just joining the board, but I'm a third time mom and I'd be happy to contribute

ThePax89 · May 2016

Question for third time moms...already planning ahead. How the heck do you survive the first tri when you have two kids running around? Sweet lord. I nap when my 18 month old naps every day.

ElleMF728 · May 2016

ThePax89 said:

Question for third time moms...already planning ahead. How the heck do you survive the first tri when you have two kids running around? Sweet lord. I nap when my 18 month old naps every day.

I pull my 2.5 year old in bed with me during my 9 month old's long nap. We cuddle, sometimes he sleeps, sometimes I sleep but we both rest and get some nice Mommy and DS1 time. It's pretty rough some days but I think it is no more difficult than first trimester when DS1 was 15 or 16 months old.

lindsladle15 · May 2016

ThePax89 said:

Question for third time moms...already planning ahead. How the heck do you survive the first tri when you have two kids running around? Sweet lord. I nap when my 18 month old naps every day.

Welllll, I'm not quite there yet (to the sickness part), but my 11 month old and 22 month old have nap time at the same time in the afternoon. The 22 month old only usually naps for about an hour, but she stays in her room for 2 hours, no matter if she's sleeping or not. I think it's good for us all to have a break and some alone/quiet time.

JLJ2012 · May 2016

@ThePax89, my 3.5 yo still naps! Both kids nap in the afternoon everyday and I do too. I would not make it through the day without it right now. When he does decide not to nap I will still do quiet time in his room during naptime.

zdmd_14 · May 2016

Both my girls are older (8 & 6) so it's pretty easy to get me time when I need it. But I'm struggling with the idea that I'll be a total buzz kill over summer break. And we're not planning on telling them about the pregnancy until we hear a heartbeat at our appointment towards the end of June.
I'm just afraid they're going to want to do lots of fun stuff and I'll be tired and nauseous but with no real explaination.

cjs260 · May 2016

New question: Rocker or glider for the nursery?

LastMango · May 2016

@cjs260 We have a glider and I love it because it glides with the footstool that came with it. Plus there is plenty of room for the nursing pillow because it's so wide. That's being said, I don't think you can go wrong either way.

zdmd_14 · May 2016

Gliders are great. I'm regretting getting rid of ours from when the girls were little (it was stained and we were on the fence about having more kids). I also feel like they're easier with toddlers around (harder for little people to push around the room etc).

lindsladle15 · May 2016

Glider! I agree with pp, and we are using the one my SIL used with her two kids. They last a long time (not that a rocker wouldn't). It's just what I have and love!

ashanne88 · May 2016

Another vote for glider (although to be fair I've never used a rocker). I also like that the footstool glides along with you. I don't have to worry about my toddler moving it around or about him rocking it over a finger/toe/insert body part since it doesn't leave the ground.

Josie3=5 · May 2016

Total glider fan here. Also, if you have a cat, rockers are death to tails

As for two kids and pregnancy fatigue, I have no words of wisdom. I feel like I'm falling asleep all the time. I nearly fell asleep in traffic the other day. I work during the day and, by the time both kids are bathed and in bed, it's 8pm. I'm usually in bed by 8:30pm these days because I can't function (and up at 5am to start all over - whee!). I try really hard not to think about it otherwise I get overwhelmed. Also, I jot EVERYTHING down in my phone. My mind is not functioningso my phone is currently working as a brain extension. I'm getting the job done, just not very gracefully.

ThePax89 · May 2016

@cjs260 get a small lazyboy that rocks and reclines. So many hours are spent in that chair, so I needed it as plush as possible. I had a traditional glider, which ruined my back, and then took my dad's lazyboy after a few months.

cjs260 · May 2016

@ThePax89 I didn't even think about that. Thanks!

stumptownmama · May 2016

I love my glider sofa chair with the glider footstool. Just go with something super comfy that you can sit for hours in and nurse/rock/sleep. I had tailbone trauma from labor and it's still healing 19 months later. Cushioned is a must! It's going to get stained so I'm happy that I got a secondhand one.

mommywesley · May 2016

Glider would be much easier than rocker, but I second the lazyboy idea, you will be sleeping in it a ton so get comfy! I wish we had room for one lol

JLJ2012 · May 2016

I second the lazyboy type glider/recliner, that @ThePax89 mentioned. I have loved ours through 2 kids, and slept in it a few times when one of the kids have been sick. Ours is leather and H can't wait to claim it for himself in the future. Well worth the money and so comfortable.

therealfrizzle · May 2016

I was going to vote glider because that's what I used when I worked in the infant room during my daycare years, but OMG Lazy Boy sounds amazing. I think DH can get on board with that too hehe

ashanne88 · May 2016

A lazy boy sounds fantastic. I wish we had room for one.

KarliQ88 · May 2016

Epidurals!??? Worth it? I've heard you still feelbut it just isn't painful. I have zero interest in wanting to feel childbirth.

mnmomof4 · May 2016

This is such a personal choice. I have done it all the ways haha. I'm of my 4th pregnancy and my best delivery and recovery was when I had zero drugs. But there is no wrong way to deliver!

acardona1010 · May 2016

I'm in the "I don't want to feel a thing" department. I loved the epidural and felt nothing except the urge to push at the very end. We literally just chilled and watched David Letterman between pushes.

mommywesley · May 2016

I've done almost every way lol, epidural was great for me, I did feel the most with #4 but that was because I went so fast it just hadn't fully kicked in yet. With #3 the epidural was perfect and I felt nothing at all.

ElleMF728 · May 2016

I loved my epidurals. Like @mommywesley I got mine with DS2 very late during transition so it didn't have a chance to fully kick in. It was crazy, my anesthesiologist told my nurse to go get my doctor, handed me a bag to throw up in, laid me down and I was holding my son about 14 minutes later.

The only difference is that I would ask for it a bit earlier this time. I had no problem feeling the pressure and knowing when to push I just had relief from the pain.

Josie3=5 · May 2016

Also done it both ways- natural delivery vs epidural- and I will be asking for an epidural the minute I walk in. To be fair, I was induced both times so only know pitocin contractions and have been told those are very different than natural labor so my experience with medfree (not by choice) while under the influence of pitocin may not represent a natural labor. Even with all the studies I've read about childbirth interventions, having such an amazing labor and delivery the second time around with an epidural on board makes it the right choice for me.

spano41 · May 2016

For the rocker/glider question...we have a leather recliner and it's awesome. You can easily sleep in it. It was also my pumping chair (I EPed for 14mo) so I spent so much time in it. Easy to clean too because it has had so many body fluids spilled on it yuck! It matches our basement furniture so it will move down there when we're done having kids.

spano41 · May 2016

For the epidural question. I'm a fan. I'll just leave it at that.

kaswanson · May 2016

I had one labor with an epidural and one without. I will be hoping for an epidural this time around! It isn't always possible to get an epidural, so I'd prepare at least a little for natural childbirth. In case you find yourself unexpectedly having to do it... like I did!

RocksInTheWater · May 2016

Epidural all the way for me. Like others have said, it's such a personal choice. My labor for ds lasted 45 hours (most of it laboring at home) so getting that epidural was sweet, sweet relief. I did still feel the pressure when it was time to push but it worked for me.

LJ623 · May 2016

On a similar note to the epidural question - has anyone used laughing gas during labor? My hospital just started offering this, and I'm curious to hear any experiences...

pshaortao · May 2016

I have a very comfortable recliner that only rocks/reclines but does not swivel. DD loves climbing up on it and sitting with me during story time. It's roomy enough for both of us! So that's definitely staying with us for awhile.

As for epidurals, it's a personal choice. My mom said she didn't have time to get one when she had me and recovery was a lot better. I personally got it when I could not keep my eyes open during contractions anymore (turned out I was at 6cm already). The downside is it kind of stalled things a little and pushing took a long time. Overall, it wasn't a bad experience.

Vivi20 · May 2016

This time around, we'll be getting a glider and ottoman, AND a super comfy recliner. I think both are essential. As for epidurals, I am a fan. I don't remember how far I got before they gave me one, but I just remember feeling complete relief and being able to relax. So. Yes, I will get an epidural this time, too.

LastMango · May 2016

Team epidural over here

curlysue22 · May 2016

I will be asking for an epidural again this time. Mine didn't work perfectly last time so I'm hoping it goes better this time. They had a hard time placing it (kept hitting bone), which was painful. Once it was in, it worked for awhile, but at the end, they needed to add more drugs and it wasn't working effectively. I ended up feeling a lot of pain, so I'm wondering if it just wore off / didn't kick back in / or if they told me they were giving me more but didn't actually because they wanted me to push harder (DH says that's not the case but I have my conspiracy theory

. However, my DD had a very large head (yikes!) so maybe that had something to do with it?

BachBaby · May 2016

For the epi question. My first labor I had one and it was glorious. Best thing ever. My second, I walked into the hospital ready to push. I did not plan it that way, she just came really quick. It hurt like hell but I was up and walking around within a hour of having her and felt amazing. Two years later and I'm still in shock I did it. I'm going to ask for another epi if my labor is long this time around but if it's another quick one I'll be ok without it.

JennaLee1486 · May 2016

I vote yes for an epidural.... there are no medals given out for med-free child birth

bab&tjp · May 2016

For the epidural question....I had one with my first and loved it. However, it did not take all the way. I couldn't feel back labor and couldn't feel anything "down there" but in my stomach area I could still feel it and it was terrible. I am opting for a epi this time around too but hoping it takes well this time

stumptownmama · May 2016

Epidural vs med free is really up to you. I went into labor wanting med free but open to drugs if I felt I needed them to get through it. When I was sent home from the hospital 4cm dilated with contractions 4-5 minutes a part, my confidence totally went out the window because I was told things were going to get way worse. I told my husband for sure I needed drugs when it was time. An hour later, my water had broken and I was back at the hospital at 10cm ready to push. I decided to go without drugs and it was crazy but I have no regrets. Im planning to go into this labor the same way. Although if I have a long labor, I can totally see myself wanting relief.

KarliQ88 · May 2016

LJ623 said:

On a similar note to the epidural question - has anyone used laughing gas during labor? My hospital just started offering this, and I'm curious to hear any experiences...

Ours did too! But thanks for all the responses. I'm pretty confident ill want the epidural as soon as possible. I know i need to prepare myself for possibility of not being able to but that thought scares me right now. No thank you!

MrsRahl · May 2016

I went into labor the day before I hit 39 weeks in full blown labor and they would not admit me because I was only 3 cm dilated! I had to labor at home hoping I wasn't dilating waiting for midnight so they would admit me. I come back in at midnight, they admit me, then I got my drugs after almost 24 hours of active contractions.im praying to God this kid doesn't come early too so I don't have to experience that again!!

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