While my 2 year old daughter naps, my 4 year old son and I relax together. He often plays ABC Mouse or a game on his i-pad. Some days if I feel really tired, I just lay next to him and take a nap.
Epidurals!??? Worth it? I've heard you still feelbut it just isn't painful. I have zero interest in wanting to feel childbirth.
I had one with my first and it was worth it at first. Towards the pushing stage of labor, I still felt a good amount of pain. I ended up needing a c-section, but it was not related to the epidural at all.
We are actually going to tell our boys tonight if my appointment goes well this morning. We plan to take them to my mom's for pictures and have them each sit in a chair and set out an extra one to see if they notice...I'm debating on signs too lololol
*new question* When are you telling your kids about the pregnancy and how are you telling them?
My DD is 2 and a half so we are waiting until we announce to the rest of the world after 12 weeks to explain it to her. I'm afraid she would blurt it out to someone if she knew beforehand. 2 year olds aren't the best secret keepers.
We plan on telling our boys (10 & 5) this coming up Monday & family around 8-9 weeks. I have my first Dr apt (official pregnancy test) Monday and an ultrasound after so once we are in the clear then we will tell.
DD is only 20 months and does not quite understand yet. Hopefully she will by her 2nd birthday when I have a bump and she can feel her little sister or brother.
I told my 2 yo DD before I told my DH She just pointed at my stomach and said "baby?", she totally does not understand. It was still really cute though.
We've been mentioning being a big sister to DD (2yo) but she doesn't really understand. We'll have a much more in depth conversion once I start really showing. 9mo is almost a 3rd of her life so I'm sure it seems like an eternity to her, no point in really try to prepare her for it right now.
New Question: how do you learn everything there is to know about pregnancy & babies?! This is my first pregnancy, DH & I are both the oldest with first baby for the fam & we only have like 2 friends with kids (& we haven't told them our baby news yet). I'm self admittedly a planner with everything, so I'm loving reading this blog but I just feel like it's a whole new world with endless amounts to know! Glider vs recliner.... never even thought to ask that (glad someone did)! I'm still having a hard time even believing I'm pregnant, let alone understanding everything that comes along with it!
And another one: why does TB say I'm 6w3d when my LMP was on a Saturday? Wouldn't that make me 6w5d? I haven't been to the doc yet (not til 6/1 - so far away!) so I have so many questions as of now...
New Question: how do you learn everything there is to know about pregnancy & babies?! This is my first pregnancy, DH & I are both the oldest with first baby for the fam & we only have like 2 friends with kids (& we haven't told them our baby news yet). I'm self admittedly a planner with everything, so I'm loving reading this blog but I just feel like it's a whole new world with endless amounts to know! Glider vs recliner.... never even thought to ask that (glad someone did)! I'm still having a hard time even believing I'm pregnant, let alone understanding everything that comes along with it!
DH and I had NO IDEA what we were doing when we had our first. We had no babysitting experience, no younger siblings and literally had to be taught in our labor and delivery classes how to put on a diaper. I read a ton bc that's just my personality but, honestly, you learn what works for your family quickly bc you have to, once the baby comes. The first 6mobths are just about survival for everyone and you do what you need to to stumble your way through the sleep deprivation and the 'OMG, what have we gotten ourselves into?' . I cried when I the left the hospital with my first bc I was terrified to take my infant home and not have a nurse there to help me.
My greatest source of info came from my BMB and my local new mom group, that both taught me how to parent and gave me the emotional support I needed as I navigated being a FTM. By the second, even though you temporarily have the 'I've forgotten everything about babyhood!' Feeling, you quickly settle back in a groove and it's not so hard bc you know emotionally and not just intellectually that the newborn stage passes in the blink of an eye.
Read, ask a lot of questions, realize that there is not ONE CORRECT way to do it and be kind to yourself and others. We seriously all figure it out.
New Question: how do you learn everything there is to know about pregnancy & babies?! This is my first pregnancy, DH & I are both the oldest with first baby for the fam & we only have like 2 friends with kids (& we haven't told them our baby news yet). I'm self admittedly a planner with everything, so I'm loving reading this blog but I just feel like it's a whole new world with endless amounts to know! Glider vs recliner.... never even thought to ask that (glad someone did)! I'm still having a hard time even believing I'm pregnant, let alone understanding everything that comes along with it!
I have a sister 10 yrs younger and tons of babysitting experience. I still had a little meltdown leaving the hospital! Make sure you take some childcare classes and just research online. Try different things until you find what works for you. Trial and error is parenting lol my bmb helped me through a lot of decisions through all the discussion threads we had. you have plenty of time to prepare. You will love the baby and it will love you. Everything else will come❤️
New Question: how do you learn everything there is to know about pregnancy & babies?! This is my first pregnancy, DH & I are both the oldest with first baby for the fam & we only have like 2 friends with kids (& we haven't told them our baby news yet). I'm self admittedly a planner with everything, so I'm loving reading this blog but I just feel like it's a whole new world with endless amounts to know! Glider vs recliner.... never even thought to ask that (glad someone did)! I'm still having a hard time even believing I'm pregnant, let alone understanding everything that comes along with it!
Honestly? Get pregnant and have a baby. I was a nanny for 7 years, assisted in a pre-school and went down for weeks at a time when my sister had her twins to be her mother's helper. I still was unprepared and had no idea what I was doing when I had DS1. If I'm being completely honest, I had no idea what I was doing with DS2. If having children has taught me anything at all it's that all babies are different. The things that I had "figured out" the first time around didn't work or didn't apply when I had my second because they had their own unique personalities and needs.
The absolute best way to prepare yourself in my opinion? Lurk through some BMB for moms who have newborns,2,3 month olds etc. I found that even when talking with friends and family didn't give me a realistic view of life with a brand new baby. What did was reading the real-time, raw struggles, questions and posts from Moms currently dealing with baby sleep, baby eating and general baby care 24/7. I really recommend it for preparing for birth as well. Reading their true, emotional birth stories really drives home how unpredictable, scary and beautiful the whole experience can be and can also help keep expectations tempered and realistic.
@KarliQ88 with my epidural, I felt NOTHING. Literally nothing at all. It was nice until my daughter was in fetal distress and they needed me to turn and I couldn't move my giant whale body at all. It also took me 2.5 hours to get her out because again, I felt nothing.
Did any of you have trouble with people wanting to be in the delivery room? I really just want it to be me and DH and maybe my mom, but I think if my mom is allowed in I'll never hear the end of it (from MIL) if MIL isn't allowed too. I would rather have neither of them than both of them but I don't want to hurt my mom.
Edited to clarify - DH would probably prefer her to not be in the room either.
@ceclarlinetlo It was only DH and me because none of our family lives close by so no personal experience. From what I've heard though, if you make your wishes known to the nurses, they will fight your battles for you and allow only certain people in the room. Maybe prepare everyone first by saying you want just the two of you in the room and tell your mom you may want her? Hopefully, everyone respects your wishes. Childbirth is hard enough without unwelcome guests.
I'm probably the worst to answer this but honestly having just me and my husband was the best. He is very Squimish about EVERYTHING and seriously almost passed out when they said I was 10 cm and time to go but it was amazing watching him pull himself together hold my hand tell me how great I was doing and just support me. If my mom or anyone else would've been there I don't think he would've been so much a part of it because he wouldn't feel like he had to be. My husband is stone cold and watching him tear up as they cleaned off our daughter and the smile he gave me I'll never forget that second of time he was so proud. I don't think I would have gotten those memories with anyone else in the room because someone else would've been talking to me or something I wouldn't have seen that smile because it's crazy enough in there after having the baby with all the Drs and nurses but to each his own
editted to add: I say I'm probably the worst to answer because I also tried to get my family just to let me call them after the baby was already hear instead of them all waiting at the hospital and I also eloped so... I don't include people in much lol
New Question: how do you learn everything there is to know about pregnancy & babies?! This is my first pregnancy, DH & I are both the oldest with first baby for the fam & we only have like 2 friends with kids (& we haven't told them our baby news yet). I'm self admittedly a planner with everything, so I'm loving reading this blog but I just feel like it's a whole new world with endless amounts to know! Glider vs recliner.... never even thought to ask that (glad someone did)! I'm still having a hard time even believing I'm pregnant, let alone understanding everything that comes along with it!
You can't possibly know everything. No matter how much you prepare you won't feel like you know it all. With my son, I went to child birth classes, I had babysitting experience, I have a little brother, I read a bunch of stuff, and I think I forgot most of it when he got here. Find 1 or 2 people who you really trust who you think are good parents. If you can't figure something out on your own, ask them. You're always going to feel like you don't know enough, especially in the beginning.
My husband was with me and last minute I asked if my mom could come (while pushing). My daughter was in some distress and I wanted someone to stay with me, and for DH to stay with the baby if she needed to be taken to the nicu. Also, it was my mom's dream to watch a baby being delivered.
Did any of you have trouble with people wanting to be in the delivery room? I really just want it to be me and DH and maybe my mom, but I think if my mom is allowed in I'll never hear the end of it (from MIL) if MIL isn't allowed too. I would rather have neither of them than both of them but I don't want to hurt my mom.
Edited to clarify - DH would probably prefer her to not be in the room either.
OMG my MIL was crazy! Boohoo she isn't your Mom, so no she can't play that card. My MIL stressed me the fuck out when I was pregnant. We actually have an amazing relationship now. I blame hormones lol when they can to check if I had dilated further I asked everybody in my room to leave, she ran back in ooh I forgot my water, just as the nurse announced I was 9cm. She then proceeded to yell to everyone in the lobby I was 9cm
when you give birth, they play lullaby music in the lobby. My best friend said she RAN to the double doors and was throwing herself against them she was so excited. I just can't.
To to keep her out, I said only 2 people are allowed in there when you deliver. My mom and husband comfort me, I'm sorry! Tell the nurses when you get there "the rule" they will say and do whatever you want.
Did anyone who opted for an epidural still have back labor pain? If so, how did you cope? I know I have (or did at least, not sure if I still do) a retroverted uterus and have heard so much about back labor, but I just don't get how you're supposed to manage the pain if you opt for the epidural and it works sort of but not completely, which keeps you from getting up and moving around to different positions -- which is what I keep reading is the way to deal with back labor.
ETA: lol I think I posted this in the wrong week's thread (or maybe not, I just don't see a thread for this week)
@canavara I, too, have a retroverted uterus. With my first, the only reason I knew I was in labor was because of the back labor pain. That was the worst part by far. My only advice is to labor at home as long as possible. I was the most comfortable moving around, stretching, using a heat pad on my back, or having DH rub tennis balls on my lower back during a contraction. Seriously, laying down trying to rest made the pain sooooo much worse! It was nice to be at home trying a million different things instead of the hospital. My water actually broke at home and then the back pain really intensified. When I got into labor and delivery, I was 6 cm, and my nurse said it was my last chance for an epi. I got one and was probably 7 cm, and even though that was late, it was a huuuuuge relief! I could still feel my back tense up, but next to no pain. Also, with my epidural, I was still able to move my legs. When baby wouldn't budge her little head, I was able to get on all fours to try to shift her around. I was also able to get up a pee right after they stitched me up.
@SarahS11 Do you know why they wouldn't let you get an epidural past 7 cm? It was never even mentioned to me that I needed to get it before a certain time. I got mine at 9 and 10 with my kids and was just curious if there was a reason that some doctors wouldn't give one so I'm prepared for next time.
ceclarlinetlo my MIL dropped obvious hints about wanting to be in the delivery room, so bad that she eventually demanded that we deliver at a hospital closer to her house than the one I was registered at. I was furious. She and I aren't even close. I delivered at the hospital I wanted to, without her and almost a year later I think she's still butt hurt about it. Do what ever makes you comfortable. Doctors and nurses will be a great resource in keeping people out of your room if you tell them. @canavara I had awful back labor due to a sunny side up baby but the epidural stopped it completely. I didn't feel a single thing other than pressure. I don't know about your situation but my epi only took on one side to begin with and they were able to open up my spinal column so it worked better. I would think if it didn't work for back labor there would be some magical anesthesiologist trick to make it work.
@ceclarlinetlo I had DH, my mom and grandma in the room. Originally I wanted it to just be DH, but I knew it would mean a lot to my mom and grandma. I'm very glad they were with us! I barely knew my grandma was in the room, she just sat on a couch in the room, and would get ice and water if I needed it. When it came time to push, I told my mom she could stand by my head and we wanted her to take pictures after DS was born. Nothing below my waist, just pictures as soon as he came out. I am beyond thankful we had her do that. I had so many feelings as soon as he was born, and it seems like everyone is moving around so quickly making sure baby and I are okay, it is somewhat of a blur. The pictures she took are precious and I'm so thankful we have them. A first picture when he was placed on my chest, first family picture, really special memories captured for us.
As for your MIL, it depends on how close you are with her and whether you would like her there. You are the mom, you will be the one in labor, do not be afraid of hurting her feelings if your mom is there and she isn't, or if you decide to have neither of them in there! Nurses and doctors really are great about making sure you're comfortable and even asking people to leave if needed!
When people asked me about the delivery room. I just said, "the only people who will be in the room is my husband and medical personnel. We will call everyone once the baby is born."
the nurses are great about keeping your wishes honored. My MIL didn't listen and camped out in the waiting area anyway - I was in labor for over 37 hours so the jokes on her. Right after birth, before we told anyone, she was trying to get in the room.
It was really important for us to have 1 hour alone with our baby before we had visitors. It was great. I highly recommend it.
after close family visited and went home, we ended up asking to be put on the "no visitor" list because we found out estranged family were coming to visit. Toxic people that we don't want in our lives anymore (still wish them good lives but good separate lives apart from us). We didn't need to deal with that in recovery.
My husband was the only one besides the hospital staff who I allowed in the room with me. I'm still glad it was just us because after my daughter was born the hospital staff left and let us have almost 2 hours in the delivery room alone with my daughter before we moved to our maternity suite. That initial family bonding and skin-to skin-to was really important to me. After we switched rooms we let family know they could start to come and visit.
@kelseyh62 I agree with what pp said about talking to friends with kids or lurking B&B's, but if you like straight information about how some things work, I also really valued my childbirth and breastfeeding classes. I highly recommend visiting a lactation consultant or joining a la leche group after giving birth for bf support if you choose to nurse. As far as people in the room, I understand the value of just having DH there, but my DH was very relieved to have my mom there with our first. She took pictures, which to us was priceless, but he had NO idea what birthing a baby was like/would entail and was terrified. He did very well having my mom there to nod at him or tell him something was ok/normal that I was going through. He was scared for me. She was not overbearing, but very supportive for him, haha! Also, my sister was there for the second birth, and between she and my mom, they kept him from being bored, too. @ceclarlinetlo
I need to ask a STM. I'll talk with my mom and my friends shen i announce my pregnancy but just need some reassurance. Is it normal to like freak out about this whole thing? I'm so scared...scared of everything.
@KarliQ88 yes normal. Are you worried about something going wrong? Or just all of it? Pregnancy/motherhood is amazing and terrifying. So many unknowns.
@KarliQ88 yes normal. Are you worried about something going wrong? Or just all of it? Pregnancy/motherhood is amazing and terrifying. So many unknowns.
I think all of it. My sister's baby had a stroke (weird i know) so crazy things like that are making me anxious. Also just parenthood in general.
Did anyone think early on they were having a specific sex? I don't mean in some hokey way, but when I think of the baby, my thoughts are always BOY. I know there is zero sense or rationale in this. worried if it is a girl it will jar me (I don't have a preference though ). Maybe if my docs alternate pronouns in visits my brain will loosen up.
Re: Ask a STM+ Mom, Week of 5.16.16
When are you telling your kids about the pregnancy and how are you telling them?
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
We plan on telling our boys (10 & 5) this coming up Monday & family around 8-9 weeks. I have my first Dr apt (official pregnancy test) Monday and an ultrasound after so once we are in the clear then we will tell.
Me: 26 DH: 29 Married 8/4/2012
BFP #1 8/20/2013 | EDD 5/4/2014 | MMC 10/2/2013 9w3d | D&C 10/8/2013
BFP #2 2/8/2014 (kinda) EDD 10/29/2014 | DS Born 10/8/2014
TTCAL 11/2015 BFP #3 5/12/16 | EDD Jan 2017
SaveSave
My greatest source of info came from my BMB and my local new mom group, that both taught me how to parent and gave me the emotional support I needed as I navigated being a FTM. By the second, even though you temporarily have the 'I've forgotten everything about babyhood!' Feeling, you quickly settle back in a groove and it's not so hard bc you know emotionally and not just intellectually that the newborn stage passes in the blink of an eye.
Read, ask a lot of questions, realize that there is not ONE CORRECT way to do it and be kind to yourself and others. We seriously all figure it out.
June Siggy Challenge: Robert Downey Jr
37 yr old mama with 4yr old DD and 2 yr old DS
you have plenty of time to prepare. You will love the baby and it will love you. Everything else will come❤️
The absolute best way to prepare yourself in my opinion? Lurk through some BMB for moms who have newborns,2,3 month olds etc. I found that even when talking with friends and family didn't give me a realistic view of life with a brand new baby. What did was reading the real-time, raw struggles, questions and posts from Moms currently dealing with baby sleep, baby eating and general baby care 24/7. I really recommend it for preparing for birth as well. Reading their true, emotional birth stories really drives home how unpredictable, scary and beautiful the whole experience can be and can also help keep expectations tempered and realistic.
Edited to clarify - DH would probably prefer her to not be in the room either.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
editted to add: I say I'm probably the worst to answer because I also tried to get my family just to let me call them after the baby was already hear instead of them all waiting at the hospital and I also eloped so... I don't include people in much lol
when you give birth, they play lullaby music in the lobby. My best friend said she RAN to the double doors and was throwing herself against them she was so excited. I just can't.
To to keep her out, I said only 2 people are allowed in there when you deliver. My mom and husband comfort me, I'm sorry! Tell the nurses when you get there "the rule" they will say and do whatever you want.
ETA: lol I think I posted this in the wrong week's thread
@canavara I had awful back labor due to a sunny side up baby but the epidural stopped it completely. I didn't feel a single thing other than pressure. I don't know about your situation but my epi only took on one side to begin with and they were able to open up my spinal column so it worked better. I would think if it didn't work for back labor there would be some magical anesthesiologist trick to make it work.
As for your MIL, it depends on how close you are with her and whether you would like her there. You are the mom, you will be the one in labor, do not be afraid of hurting her feelings if your mom is there and she isn't, or if you decide to have neither of them in there! Nurses and doctors really are great about making sure you're comfortable and even asking people to leave if needed!
the nurses are great about keeping your wishes honored. My MIL didn't listen and camped out in the waiting area anyway - I was in labor for over 37 hours so the jokes on her. Right after birth, before we told anyone, she was trying to get in the room.
It was really important for us to have 1 hour alone with our baby before we had visitors. It was great. I highly recommend it.
after close family visited and went home, we ended up asking to be put on the "no visitor" list because we found out estranged family were coming to visit. Toxic people that we don't want in our lives anymore (still wish them good lives but good separate lives apart from us). We didn't need to deal with that in recovery.
I plan to do the same this time around.
I agree with what pp said about talking to friends with kids or lurking B&B's, but if you like straight information about how some things work, I also really valued my childbirth and breastfeeding classes. I highly recommend visiting a lactation consultant or joining a la leche group after giving birth for bf support if you choose to nurse.
As far as people in the room, I understand the value of just having DH there, but my DH was very relieved to have my mom there with our first. She took pictures, which to us was priceless, but he had NO idea what birthing a baby was like/would entail and was terrified. He did very well having my mom there to nod at him or tell him something was ok/normal that I was going through. He was scared for me. She was not overbearing, but very supportive for him, haha! Also, my sister was there for the second birth, and between she and my mom, they kept him from being bored, too. @ceclarlinetlo
Is it normal to like freak out about this whole thing? I'm so scared...scared of everything.
TW: Loss