Yeah I'd play it off and say "we are just so grateful you guys are willing to put this on for us. We really don't need anything extravagant, please don't spend too much!" And see what the response would be. I'd act like I still wasn't thinking she wanted me to pay, because that really is an unheard of idea.
Dear three year old adorable tyrant that controls my life, I've rocked you, given you a bandaid for your non-existent boo boo, sprayed monster spray multiple times and read you two books. Please go to sleep. I'm tired and am not far behind you.
Any of the FTMs hate me yet for how awesome I make toddlers sound?
My random: today I decided to try my hand at making my own baked beans. I normally use the Bush's ones but they are so processed and loaded with sugar. This morning I just threw a bunch of stuff in the crock pot not really expecting it to turn out good. They ended up being amazing. The only problem is I didn't measure anything or pay attention to proportions so my odds of repeating the success may be slim.
On the shower talk, I have a friend that offered to throw me one at her house as soon as he found out I'm pregnant and another that offered to plan it because she wanted to throw it as well. Going over some details and talking about the games, etc, the question came up and she asked me what my budget is. I was just like, huh? I haven't said anything because I was thinking that the people that planned it would pay for it (maybe selfishly? I don't know the etiquette). I told her in the beginning that we don't have a theme and she could pick decorations, food, games, etc as I'm a typically a control freak and really just decided to hand everything over. I'm thinking if I have to pay it, I might as well plan it myself and let my inner control freak fly. Is this a thing? Who pays for the shower typically?
Whoa. When you offer to throw me a shower, you are offering to pay for that shower. Otherwise, you're just offering to spend my money - and I can take care of that on my own! A shower is a gift for the mother to be.
Seriously. It was in VERY poor taste to be expecting you to pay. You shouldn't even be privy to budget discussions.
My random: today I decided to try my hand at making my own baked beans. I normally use the Bush's ones but they are so processed and loaded with sugar. This morning I just threw a bunch of stuff in the crock pot not really expecting it to turn out good. They ended up being amazing. The only problem is I didn't measure anything or pay attention to proportions so my odds of repeating the success may be slim.
Did you use a recipe from the interwebs or anything? (Link? I want to make beans!)
@KimmySchmidt no recipe online but I can tell you what I put in it and you can just add ingredients to taste. I used a can of pinto beans, a can of navy beans, a can of crushed tomato
This where it gets fuzzy: garlic powder, truvia brown sugar blend, light maple syrup, honey, yellow mustard and worcheststire sauce. I think that's everything
OMG @AlwaysAuntNeverMom literally the same thing happened to me. My cousin was pestering me about a shower since I first announced and suggesting venues etcetera and come time to delegate tasks and divide costs, she completely backpedalled saying the only showers she has attended were paid by the mommy-to-be. W T F. Seriously though, if you're paying for it, might as well plan it and have it the way you want it to be. @JennM205@Megan324@AnnaS930@UnwritteN12@MojieJo Because of this, I'll be footing the bill for the food, but I have other friends/family to cover the venue and decor.
A week later I had to cancel on being MOH at her wedding. Because it is in Bali. And I'm having a baby. That will be 2-3 months old. Her fiancee sent me a nasty email saying that I was selfish and spoiled and he hoped my child would never be like me. Bali. I'm a FTM. An infant. WTF. We haven't talked since. He also reamed the other bridesmaids for backing out because another one just announced her pregnancy and another one is getting a new job in June and PTO will be questionable. It took me all kinds of control and grown-upped-ness to not put his email on Facebook blast.
I know for my baby shower I've offered to buy some raffle/gifts for the games because I like buying presents and because I've been the only one out of my friend group to get married and have a baby so have had all the showers so far. I'm not sure they'll take me up on it but I felt comfortable offering.
Already let her know. Now waiting for the response. I really wasn't sure of how the showers get done as I never had one for my wedding and I've never thrown one for someone else. She's one of my oldest friends so I don't want things to be weird. Shower is supposed to be next month so we'll see if it gets done!
@AlwaysAuntNeverMom let us know how it all works out. I hope it gets resolved and you can be happy about pregnancy-related celebrations without all that BS.
Never would I have thought that a baby shower would yield such stress. Aiyyy.
@frogdog06 hope it all works out... thanks for the input. I wasn't even slightly upset, just taken by surprise as I wasn't expecting it at all. Both the friends planning it have kids and she specifically said she's thrown showers before so I thought it was odd. Just dealing with it and moving on!
@frogdog06 What?! Your friend and her fiancé sound horrible. How selfish of you, wanting to take care of your newborn. Jeez.
@pdxmamatobe I kind of did the same where I have very sincerely offered some money to help with things -- not paying for the whole thing but just to help out. My friends who are putting it together have refused, but honestly I'm more than willing to chip in if it means less stress on them!
Okay, I'm feeling irritable this morning, and I have a rant. Please tell me what is the point of starting a thread to tell the whole board you've only gained 4 lbs so far? The humble brag? To get congrats? To illicit jealousy? No one cares about your weight but you. If the baby is growing and your doctor isn't concerned then assume it's normal. Be as healthy as you can and grow your baby. It's as simple as that.
So because of you awesome ladies yesterday - I mentioned we should start reading to the baby to DH. I thought he was going to laugh at it, but he just went, 'Really? Ok, let's start now.' Got a book we'd already gotten as a gift and read to me and baby (and our dog). It was definitely an Aww moment that I loved.
PS...All the caffeine/soda/coffee talk yesterday had be craving a coffee this morning, so I decided to have a cup. Why on earth did I think it was a good idea to go for work coffee my first foray back into the wonderful world of coffee in months!?! I think this might start growing hair on my chest. I want my Dunkin Donuts coffee.
@frogdog06 So the same cousin that expects you to foot the bill of your own shower expects you to fly to Bali (I assume at your expense again) with a small infant to be in her wedding? She has to be one of the most selfish people I've ever heard of.
@camichael84 Right? I went into that post all ready to be snarky and gripe about how many of us are worried about the opposite problem and body image issues (thanks, society!), but everyone in there was agreeing and being all friendly and supportive about it.
@Jabreen I was as snarky as I felt comfortable being given everyone else's responses. Situations like that are when I miss sass and wish we were a tad less supportive around here.
@camichael84@Jabreen@PSUBecky23 that seriously got me stabby. I'm over here trying to slow the gain and she needs to ask that? Ask your doctor, I know nothing about your level of nutrition or starting weight.
As much as I rolled my eyes and thought snarky thoughts, I just don't have it in me to be snarky just for fun. I know some wish for some entertainment from snark. Just not me.
@AlwaysAuntNeverMom I never saw it before today...but your May challenge photo scares me! What is that woman doing? And why is that 8-year-oldish being subjected to that? I'm all about loving your body, but some of those pictures definitely went beyond artistic and more towards porno-graphic. Eeek! You get my vote for most awkward family photo so far....before that it was definitely going to the naked human pyramid @SarahMConnorsfound
I'm looking for a short (10-15 minutes?) stretching/yoga/pilates routine. I'd prefer something on You-Tube so I can compare my form with that of someone else (I have a sensitive back so I have to be careful). I'm very active (walking, elliptical, etc) but haven't done anything in terms of strengthening and want to get started - especially as "moving" in general is becoming more and more cumbersome. Any recommendations?
I will white knight a little bit over the weight gain post - with my son, I gained a lot of weight all through the pregnancy. Probably 45 pounds total. This time around I have only started gaining in the past week. It was just fluctuating within a 4 pound range after an initial 3-4 pound loss in the early MS phase. While I am happy to not have the excess weight, I do feel anxious at times about the lack of weight gain. It got the worst a couple days before the anatomy scan. I have calmed down a lot after getting a healthy scan and now that I am actually showing and gaining, I think I will be fine going forward. I have really tried not to post about my concerns (maybe mentioned it one time), because only a couple years ago I was the one who was worried about gaining too much. It is a very sensitive issue and causes anxiety on both ends of the spectrum.
I will say a whole humble-brag post deserves some snark, but the anxiety of "Am I gaining enough" is very real.
@marajay6 I understand that thinking, and at the start of my pregnancy I was also concerned about what I though was slow weight gain. Now I think it's evened out, but I'm having concerns on the other end about how my body shape is changing and if the way I'm gaining weight is healthy. Neither has been mentioned by my OB, but I understand the desire to check in with the other moms here to see how they're doing. My issue is that the post wasn't framed as a question, or even as a concern. Just "I'm not gaining much weight, but my bump is really awesome! Who else?" Maybe that wasn't how OP intended it, and quite possibly I read too much into it, but it seems there are a lot of us who took it that way.
TLDR: I think we are probably in agreement over the post, but I wanted to clarify my own position. Everyone should feel comfortable voicing their concerns here, but just remember that others bring their own experience and emotions into reading and responding to what you write.
I'm team that thread is obnoxious. I gained a total of 8 pounds with my first (and I'm pretty sure 0 by 20 weeks) but was overweight to begin with and he was always doing fine throughout all my checks so I didn't worry about it. I just don't understand why someone would come here to post about it without talking to their doctor if they were legitimately concerned. I'm also super feisty and pissy this morning, so that probably doesn't help my stance on it
@marajay6 I agree with you, and would not have been bothered with a post had it been about her worry. I understand worrying about your weight gain, or lack of, can go either way, and I want to add support in those situations. This post didn't come off that way at all to me. I read it exactly as @Jabreen did, and it seemed to be just a humble-brag.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that rolled my eyes at that post. I was feeling like a super b*tch. I haven't been in that situation, since I tend to fall on the top of the weight gain charts, so I suppose it's difficult for me to understand the real concern. I agree that she didn't phrase the post to sound like she was actually concerned about it, otherwise I wouldn't have felt so annoyed. Also there have been multiple posts about the same topic, and certain people who are always talking about how thin they are whenever they get a chance, but I'm not naming any names.
I am with @marajay6 on this. I think that lack of weight gain is a legitimate concern for some people, especially with reference books telling you how much you should have gained by this point. As a FTM, I am constantly worried about how much weight I'm gaining, if I'm eating enough and so on. While there is something to be said for posting in the appropriate threads dedicated to these types of discussions, I don't think it's fair to say her concerns are obnoxious, and I definitely don't think she was looking for pats on the back for having gained so little.
Weight gain is so different with every pregnancy! With my son (4.5 yrs ago) I only gained 25lbs the entire pregnancy! Now, with baby girl, I've already gained 20lbs and still have 18weeks to go! With my son I was "all belly" but this time I'm noticing weight gain in other places, even my arms. I am a tad sensitive about it but just thankful baby is growing and is even ahead of schedule.
I saw the post and wanted to comment but refrained. I don't like being snarky.
@thscary Had she actually seemed concerned, I wouldn't have found it obnoxious. She legitimately did not seem concerned. She basically said she'd only gained 4 lbs, but was showing a lot. And then asked if anyone else was the same. No where in there did I read concern.
That said, I do understand your worry, and am in no way trying to minimize it. Weight gain during pregnancy is difficult, whether you're worried it's too much or too little. I really do believe that if you feel good, baby is healthy, and the doctor isn't worried then there isn't much more that can be done. I've heard of some women who don't look at the scales at all during pregnancy (even turning around during check up weigh ins). I could see how it could be beneficial to those that are finding theit weight is causing too much worry.
i have to say, even when someone post a SS thread our BMB is lacking the snark that other boards have. I'm kind of in love with the fact that our board is full of ladies that can actually express the opposing opinion without getting too offended or jumping down others throats.
I admit I enjoy lurking and looking at other BMB responses on some threads because they are definitely not as pleasant as us. Plus you find some funny ass gifs
Re: May Randoms Thread
Any of the FTMs hate me yet for how awesome I make toddlers sound?
I know, SarahMConnors I wasn't sure how things worked. If it were me paying for it, I would plan it myself or probably not do one.
Seriously. It was in VERY poor taste to be expecting you to pay. You shouldn't even be privy to budget discussions.
Did you use a recipe from the interwebs or anything? (Link? I want to make beans!)
This where it gets fuzzy: garlic powder, truvia brown sugar blend, light maple syrup, honey, yellow mustard and worcheststire sauce. I think that's everything
@JennM205 @Megan324 @AnnaS930 @UnwritteN12 @MojieJo
Because of this, I'll be footing the bill for the food, but I have other friends/family to cover the venue and decor.
A week later I had to cancel on being MOH at her wedding. Because it is in Bali. And I'm having a baby. That will be 2-3 months old. Her fiancee sent me a nasty email saying that I was selfish and spoiled and he hoped my child would never be like me. Bali. I'm a FTM. An infant. WTF. We haven't talked since. He also reamed the other bridesmaids for backing out because another one just announced her pregnancy and another one is getting a new job in June and PTO will be questionable. It took me all kinds of control and grown-upped-ness to not put his email on Facebook blast.
SIGH.
I agree with @mom2adoodle those are some serious twatwaffles
Never would I have thought that a baby shower would yield such stress. Aiyyy.
@pdxmamatobe I kind of did the same where I have very sincerely offered some money to help with things -- not paying for the whole thing but just to help out. My friends who are putting it together have refused, but honestly I'm more than willing to chip in if it means less stress on them!
I cannot fathom a mom to be being asked to pay for her own shower! That's insane. I can't wait to hear how she responds.
PS...All the caffeine/soda/coffee talk yesterday had be craving a coffee this morning, so I decided to have a cup. Why on earth did I think it was a good idea to go for work coffee my first foray back into the wonderful world of coffee in months!?! I think this might start growing hair on my chest. I want my Dunkin Donuts coffee.
I'm looking for a short (10-15 minutes?) stretching/yoga/pilates routine. I'd prefer something on You-Tube so I can compare my form with that of someone else (I have a sensitive back so I have to be careful). I'm very active (walking, elliptical, etc) but haven't done anything in terms of strengthening and want to get started - especially as "moving" in general is becoming more and more cumbersome. Any recommendations?
I will say a whole humble-brag post deserves some snark, but the anxiety of "Am I gaining enough" is very real.
TLDR: I think we are probably in agreement over the post, but I wanted to clarify my own position. Everyone should feel comfortable voicing their concerns here, but just remember that others bring their own experience and emotions into reading and responding to what you write.
With my son (4.5 yrs ago) I only gained 25lbs the entire pregnancy! Now, with baby girl, I've already gained 20lbs and still have 18weeks to go!
With my son I was "all belly" but this time I'm noticing weight gain in other places, even my arms.
I am a tad sensitive about it but just thankful baby is growing and is even ahead of schedule.
I saw the post and wanted to comment but refrained. I don't like being snarky.
That said, I do understand your worry, and am in no way trying to minimize it. Weight gain during pregnancy is difficult, whether you're worried it's too much or too little. I really do believe that if you feel good, baby is healthy, and the doctor isn't worried then there isn't much more that can be done. I've heard of some women who don't look at the scales at all during pregnancy (even turning around during check up weigh ins). I could see how it could be beneficial to those that are finding theit weight is causing too much worry.
I admit I enjoy lurking and looking at other BMB responses on some threads because they are definitely not as pleasant as us. Plus you find some funny ass gifs
DD #1 3/26/13
Mo/Mo twins MMC 3/31/14
DD #2 3/31/15
DD #3 8/25/16