Significant Others: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!

AnnaS930 · April 2016

In other threads we've thought it might be fun to have a place dedicated for those wonderful moments with significant others - and by wonderful I mean that sincerely and sarcastically. Tell us when your significant other does something that makes you want to scream, tell us when they do something that makes you love them a little more than you ever thought you could - and tell us anything in between! Let's hear about those significant others!

camichael84 · April 2016

This is a makes me love him even more than I thought I could moment. I was out one night last week and got this pic in a text.

He has been dying to get her a bike seat since before she was born, so he put it all together and took her out as soon as it got warm enough. From what I gather, they both loved it. Watching DH be a father is the best.

ETA: I forgot the part where he almost took them to get ice cream from our local (delicious) ice cream place, but he didn't want to get ice cream without me. I wouldn't have minded, but still the thought was sweet.

UnwritteN12 · April 2016

My parents took my kids overnight Saturday night (I can't remember the last time they spent the night somewhere!). I had nothing to do until Sunday and DH still had to work Saturday night so he was sleeping by 3 in the afternoon. I complained that I was bored and lonely. And I was met with, "Why don't you go out to Lane Bryant?" (A not-so-inexpensive plus-sized clothing store). "You always like their panties and bras."

Excuse me? Are you telling me to go spend money? On pretty things for myself?? I love you!

For the record, I instead took a long nap on the couch and then got myself a fantastic salad from Zaxby's, but it's definitely the thought that counts.

AnnaS930 · April 2016

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Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/fn/fs0ongckp68l.jpg

Since we all seem to be starting with the good, here's a picture of my 2 favorite guys from St. Patrick's Day. My little man got my husband's smile that lights up a room!!

LakeR2014 · April 2016

My DH was super romantic prior to marriage, I mean candlelit dinners and flowers at work spontaneously, and really thoughtful gifts at the holidays. Since marriage, I think his romantic side has gone on hiatus.   Most of my recent gifts have been ones that I know he got the day before the event and that were something 'we both could use.' I'm not materialistic, but come on bud, some effort here.

Anyway, this past weekend we were out of town visiting some good friends of ours. We had a great weekend with them and truly enjoyed our time, but by the time it was time to go, I got in the car and looked at him and was truly thankful for him and all that he does for me, for our growing family, and who he is that I just looked over at him and said 'I love you!'   Sometimes you just need to be with another couple where you see their issues so glaringly that it makes you truly treasure what and who you get to spend the rest of your life with.

Examples from this weekend that made me love my husband even more:
1) Witnessing the other husband text on his phone during every single meal together! Not for work, to friends.
2) Witnessing DH interact with their 10-month old and hearing him comment about how he can't wait for ours to be that age.
3) Witnessing the wife continuously nit-pick at the husband for the ENTIRE weekend.   I swear she never stopped and he just took it.
4) Realizing simply how much they rely on her parents for everything from daycare, to a new car, to a country club membership, etc. I swear at their late 20s with a baby, the only thing they pay for with having two full time jobs, is their mortgage.
5) DH being responsible with our money and investments (hence part of #4)
6) DH respecting my views, listening to my views, and valuing constructive feedback/discussions
7) DH gets me and loves me for who I am.

No need to change me or note the desired changes to friends when visiting. (Seriously!)

Like I said, we did enjoy the weekend, but it was definitely an eye-opening experience to me showing that although DH isn't perfect on the romance scale, in every other way, he's perfect for me.

AnnaS930 · April 2016

@LakeR2014 I can relate! There are times (Valentines Day) that my husband just grabs a card and some candy - and I think, man I don't want a big gift, just one with some thought put into it. Then for my birthday he'll bust out all these things that I've mentioned wanting once in passing and it just amazes me that all these times I think he's not listening to me, that sometimes he is! Woohoo!

My bad/ugly on my husband is his phone use - it wasn't so bad this weekend while we were away together but typically he's on his phone/ipad so much just checking sports scores/doing daily fantasy that it drives me up a wall.

AnnaS930 · April 2016

Also, he was off yesterday with our son. Emmett took a 3 hour nap - my husband go absolutely nothing accomplished in that time - he napped for 1 hour himself (no issues with that, the weekend was exhausting and he cared for the dog at 5am when she wanted to wake up and be annoying), he showered, and then did nothing else.
He did the dishes last night during Emmett's bathtime (he always does.. bless him) but didn't unload the dishwasher, He said he "didn't have time" I couldn't help but say "what about that 3 hour nap?" I get 5 hours worth of housework done in a 3 hour nap... just sayin

hey_clever_girl · April 2016

My husband came up with the idea of having a living room sleepover with our 6-year-old. On Saturday night they piled blankets and pillows on the floor, we all lounged and snacked, and when I got tired, he told me to go upstairs to sleep in our bed and he was going to watch movies and sleep with her down there. It made her entire night, and it was one of my favorite memories in recent history. He's such a good daddy.

He also takes her to the park and to his mom's regularly so I can have some alone/down time at home.

LeahKnits · April 2016

@runningisrad that's so sweet! DH wants to do things like that with our kids, but they aren't quite old enough. Sleeping in the living room makes them all hyper and nobody gets any sleep. They just get really grumpy because they can't sleep.

kosmo86 · April 2016

On Thursday when we found out we are having a girl they gave us little rubber bracelets that say "it's a girl". DH has worn it everyday. I can't wait for him to be a father!

ElcaB · April 2016

DH never wanted a dog, but it was a must for me. The week we got our dog he didn't realize I was lying on the couch and I overheard him tell her how much he loved her.

camichael84 · April 2016

@ElcaB I can't stop staring at your gif because Jason Segel looks so darn cute in it.

vampirina · April 2016

Since you all are covering the good, I'll go straight for the ugly.

DH and I both despise cleaning.Because of our mutual hatred, we've become fairly comfortable living in a certain level of filth and clutter. Those dirty socks on the living room floor? Eh - they'll make it to the laundry eventually... That mail from three months ago? Some day it will get sorted, no doubt.

Well eventually one of us will have the energy and say enough is enough and go on a cleaning spree. I did quite a bit of cleaning on Sunday - I cleaned the bathroom, the fridge, the dog (which is no easy task, mind you) and did few loads of laundry. I did ALL of this while DH relaxed since, according to his life philosophy Sunday is strictly for relaxing.

And then yesterday DH was on his cleaning streak. All would be find and dandy, except he ALWAYS expects me to drop everything and clean along with him when he suddenly has the energy to clean and completely ignores the fact that I clean on my own schedule. So instead of just picking up his own shit and dealing with it, he decided to berate me to do my party - completely ignoring all the work I did the day before.

I swear I love my DH, but man, I did not need that!

AnnaS930 · April 2016

Ugh @PoodleDoodleOoo - I always ask my husband to go watch TV in the basement or get out of the house if I'm cleaning and he doesn't feel the need to help, I just can't stand cleaning around him while he sits on his butt doing nothing.

Also, when it comes to cleaning - for some ugly: My husband is very hairy, and I am so damn sick of cleaning up hair/dust bunnies of his.. especially from under where his towel hangs, the lip of the shower, under his side of the bed. UGHHH. Please let these children have my texture of hair and not get me tangled up in some giant shedded hairball

camichael84 · April 2016

@AnnaS930 I feel you on the hair. My DH is also hairy and sheds everywhere. The spare bathroom is what gets me the most. It's always full of dust bunnies that are half DH's body hair, half cat fur. Apparently that is their go to room to shed. Although, his sink in our master bathroom is pretty bad, too, from beard trimming. He half ass cleans it up after he is done. If we shared a sink, I'd get onto him about it more, but I let it go since I only have to deal with it when cleaning and frankly he leaves hair everywhere, irregardless.

mom2adoodle · April 2016

The good: Hearing DH say that he loves our son already is the sweetest thing to me. He is a wonderful puppy daddy so I can only imagine how wonderful he will be to our son. He collects baseball cards and has already starting sorting them out to ascertain "the good ones for Fin were in cases."

The bad: DH is recently obsessed with Clash of Clans. He has never been a game player before so him staring at his phone incessantly gets me suspicious. I go look and sure enough- he's "building his clan." I get so irrationally annoyed because he's always playing that dumb game!!!!!!! I am very good at putting my phone away and being present so it's annoying that he is so engrossed in this thing.

vampirina · April 2016

Aw man. Now I feel like the bad spouse! I'm a crazy bad shedder and I'll admit it - I spent a little too much time playing clash of clans at one point in my life (DH got me into it!) But I quit playing it about a year or so ago since it wasn't really fun anymore!

AnnaS930 · April 2016

LOL @PoodleDoodleOoo , kind of hilarious. I'm assuming you shed head hair. My husband sheds head, arm, back, chest, leg, everywhere hair. Constantly. Also, I'm just really picky about that kind of thing.

And also, we all do things that make us the good, the bad and the ugly. I get really moody, like a flip of a switch, so I can see my husband having a million complaints. I also have had a pretty decreased sex drive for a couple years now, I'm sure he'd complain about that too!

mom2adoodle · April 2016

@AnnaS930 Yes to the sex drive thing. Over here too. What's funny is that I was quite different in college. Maybe everyone is? I'm only 28 but feel like I've done it for way too long and am over it LOL.

AnnaS930 · April 2016

@mom2adoodle - are you me?!?! When my husband and I got together in college I had had a bit of a wild side before that and my drive continued to be really high. A couple years into the relationship and it had already tanked, I have no idea what changed. Here I am at 28 and just.. meh.

mom2adoodle · April 2016

@AnnaS930 Sigh. I was secretly hoping pregnancy would come and mix up these hormones to bring my drive back but....so far it's done the opposite. Now I will hold out for after pregnancy. I've been racking my brain for what might have changed in my body or what I used to do differently but I've only come up with age lol.

camichael84 · April 2016

@AnnaS930 @mom2adoodle I don't think it's age. I'm 31 and have close to the same sex drive I did in college (a toddler brings it down some). Or maybe I'm the weird one. Lol. For real, though, right before I got pregnant with DD, my testosterone came back slightly high on blood work. I don't know if it still is, but I've kind of wondered if it has contributed to me having a higher sex drive.

AnnaS930 · April 2016

I think some of it for me, is that my drive peaked in college when I lost a good amount of weight and really felt good about myself. I haven't necessarily gained any weight since then, just my old super critical thoughts have come back and I don't feel nearly as attractive/sexy as I used to (when not pregnant, not just pregnancy body things). I think working on myself is really what I need.. this is a hard time to do that when my body is changing so much already

vampirina · April 2016

Regarding sex drive, I've found that mine is directly linked to how I feel about my body. When I'm exercising more and eating well and feeling fit, my sex drive is high. Otherwise, it's rock bottom low.

Right now it's lower than rock bottom, if there is a such a place. It's cavern-in-the-sea-floor low or something.

ab920 · April 2016

My hubby goes on hour-long walks with me at night, even though he exercises in the morning (before cooking breakfast for me, I might add). I'm just so touched that, after a long day of work, he'll take the time in the evening to walk around the neighborhood to help keep my preggo-weight off.

hey_clever_girl · April 2016

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

Since you all are covering the good, I'll go straight for the ugly.

DH and I both despise cleaning.Because of our mutual hatred, we've become fairly comfortable living in a certain level of filth and clutter. Those dirty socks on the living room floor? Eh - they'll make it to the laundry eventually... That mail from three months ago? Some day it will get sorted, no doubt.

Well eventually one of us will have the energy and say enough is enough and go on a cleaning spree. I did quite a bit of cleaning on Sunday - I cleaned the bathroom, the fridge, the dog (which is no easy task, mind you) and did few loads of laundry. I did ALL of this while DH relaxed since, according to his life philosophy Sunday is strictly for relaxing.

And then yesterday DH was on his cleaning streak. All would be find and dandy, except he ALWAYS expects me to drop everything and clean along with him when he suddenly has the energy to clean and completely ignores the fact that I clean on my own schedule. So instead of just picking up his own shit and dealing with it, he decided to berate me to do my party - completely ignoring all the work I did the day before.

I swear I love my DH, but man, I did not need that!

Are you & your husband also me & my husband? Neither of us are ever on the same page, day, or team when it comes to cleaning. It's like I do ALL THE THINGS and resent it, then he does ALL THE THINGS and resents it. We can't seem to get on a good, mutual schedule that benefits everyone and makes sense. Adulting is hard.

Steephers123 · April 2016

My drive has been crap for the past few years, it has definitely been a point of contention between DH and I. I've assumed it's tied to my weight gain and feeling awful about myself. Plans are to start working on bettering myself after baby gets here...we will see how that goes lol.

mom2adoodle · April 2016

Hmm..............I don't think my drive is correlated with my body image

I just don't want to lol. Poor DH

I know some are against forcing yourself (that's not romantic, you shouldn't feel pressured, blah blah yes I know) but I do force myself. It's not bad once in it but the thought of doing it is meh

ab920 · April 2016

runningisrad said:

PoodleDoodleOoo said:

Since you all are covering the good, I'll go straight for the ugly.

DH and I both despise cleaning.Because of our mutual hatred, we've become fairly comfortable living in a certain level of filth and clutter. Those dirty socks on the living room floor? Eh - they'll make it to the laundry eventually... That mail from three months ago? Some day it will get sorted, no doubt.

Well eventually one of us will have the energy and say enough is enough and go on a cleaning spree. I did quite a bit of cleaning on Sunday - I cleaned the bathroom, the fridge, the dog (which is no easy task, mind you) and did few loads of laundry. I did ALL of this while DH relaxed since, according to his life philosophy Sunday is strictly for relaxing.

And then yesterday DH was on his cleaning streak. All would be find and dandy, except he ALWAYS expects me to drop everything and clean along with him when he suddenly has the energy to clean and completely ignores the fact that I clean on my own schedule. So instead of just picking up his own shit and dealing with it, he decided to berate me to do my party - completely ignoring all the work I did the day before.

I swear I love my DH, but man, I did not need that!

Are you & your husband also me & my husband? Neither of us are ever on the same page, day, or team when it comes to cleaning. It's like I do ALL THE THINGS and resent it, then he does ALL THE THINGS and resents it. We can't seem to get on a good, mutual schedule that benefits everyone and makes sense. Adulting is hard.

I relate to this. We finally hired a maid to come once a week to avoid anymore cleaning arguments.

Thscary · April 2016

I like this thread. I love my DH so much. He does a lot of things that piss me off, but at the end of the day he is one of the kindest, gentlest people I know. Just from seeing how he is with our dog, I absolutely cannot wait to see him with a baby. He actually carries our 100 pound shepherd mix around the house from time to time. Last night he whispered "I can't wait to meet you" to my belly. I actually melted.

Themaritimemama · April 2016

My husband is such a great guy and dad... But sometimes, his willingness to drop everything to help someone is infuriating. Especially when it's a one sided thing. He's always giving, and they're always taking!

He works extremely hard to support us and makes sure we have everything we need. He really is the greatest.

This made me feel like I need to clean and put out more hahaha.

seitzy3 · April 2016

Awe cute stuff being said about the SOs

I'd like to add that my DH travels all the time for work. Pretty much every weekend. He usually flies out on Thursdays and back by Sunday afternoon. By the time he gets back I have hit rock bottom with the girls (3 and 1). By that I just mean I am completely spent, after all I'm trying to cook a baby here too!

Instead of acting tired, which I know he is, and just crashing when he gets home, he always offers to take the girls to the park, dinner, walk etc so I can have a little "me" time. His job is strenuous and he hardly ever complains about his aches and pains and the stress of traveling. he always comes home and gives 100 percent of his attention to us. Gotta love him for that! Especially because after traveling I am a cranky, tired biotch. Guess his body is used to it after all these years. Love ya kid (he'll never see this)

yellowrose314 · April 2016

The fact that my husband and I even started dating still baffles me. He is the youngest of 8, very quiet, very shy and used to be pretty antisocial. I am the eldest in my family, I'm loud, sarcasm is my second language and I get along with pretty much everyone I meet (unless they can't appreciate my sarcasm and then I'm better off without them). He's the hugest nerd ever, and I freaking love it, it's adorable. He's also incredibly affectionate, always wants hugs, which I love because he gives the best hugs ever. He also surprises me all the time, flowers for no reason, or even just a chocolate bar. One time he couldn't find my favourite flowers at the store so he actually stopped on the side of the road and picked me wildflowers.

The ugly? I am by no means a clean freak. My mom is clean to the point of OCD, my grandmother is a borderline hoarder with 20 cats. I have fallen somewhere in the middle. DH's mother raised 8 kids by herself so ain't no body got time to make their house look like it's in Home & Garden, you feel me? So our house is almost always a little untidy, and we're ok with that. But lately I have been getting major anxiety with the house is even a little bit messy. If I feel something on the floor in bare feet, I have to vacuum. DH has decided that since he has to do the cat box until October, I get to do the rest. Which means I'm coming home to his mess in the kitchen from cooking, which is a disaster, his crazy Jamaican hair all over the floor and in the sink, and his clothes ALWAYS on the floor next to the laundry hamper. Yesterday I finally got sick of it and put his dirty dishes and clothes on his side of the bed and put the covers over it. Surprisingly he actually thought it was hilarious when he went to crawl into bed last night and simply said "Point taken babe" and did the dishes at 11 pm and put in a load of laundry. That man gets me.

yellowrose314 · April 2016

ok... more ugly, but I'm upset.
Today was my last day of of my clinical, and I'm officially done my RN program, which in and of itself is a HUGE accomplishment and I am incredibly proud of myself. Last night I mentioned to DH that I would really love to go out and celebrate, nothing crazy just a dinner and a movie. DH is super forgetful, like bordering on short term memory loss, so I texted him this morning from the hospital to remind him. I got home early, so I got dressed up, did my hair and make up which I NEVER do anymore because who has the time or energy, and was waiting for him to get home. He gets home, runs around the house for a bit collecting stuff and I'm like umm whatcha doin? He says he's going over to his brothers place to hang out for a bit and before I know it he's out the car and gone. I just kind of stood there in shock, and then burst into tears... ruining the godamn flawless winged eyeliner that I NEVER FUCKING GET RIGHT. I'm pissed, and upset and probably over emotional but I was looking forward to this all day and I can't even have a glass of wine to celebrate. I need a hug...

marikkita12 · April 2016

I'm so upset right now. For the most part, husband has been wonderful. Today we had our follow up a/s where we found out we are having a boy. He is over the moon overjoyed while I'm disappointed. All I've wanted all my life is to have a daughter and he doesn't seem to understand that it is ok to be disappointed. I tried to make him understand that this doesn't mean I won't love this baby or love him less but it is simply going to take me some time to adjust to the idea that as of now, I won't have a little girl. He seems to think I'm unhappy because I hate men and when I tried to explain it, he got pissed off and stormed out of our bedroom. I proceeded to cry for about 20 minutes and he eventually came back to bed. I asked if I could try to explain and he turned off the light and said "whatever you want babe".
Am I an awful person for being disappointed? This on top of a really rough day I had (I posted in the random thread about it). I'm so tired but I'm so wound up now that I can't sleep

ducks6 · April 2016

marikkita12 said:

I'm so upset right now. For the most part, husband has been wonderful. Today we had our follow up a/s where we found out we are having a boy. He is over the moon overjoyed while I'm disappointed. All I've wanted all my life is to have a daughter and he doesn't seem to understand that it is ok to be disappointed. I tried to make him understand that this doesn't mean I won't love this baby or love him less but it is simply going to take me some time to adjust to the idea that as of now, I won't have a little girl. He seems to think I'm unhappy because I hate men and when I tried to explain it, he got pissed off and stormed out of our bedroom. I proceeded to cry for about 20 minutes and he eventually came back to bed. I asked if I could try to explain and he turned off the light and said "whatever you want babe".
Am I an awful person for being disappointed? This on top of a really rough day I had (I posted in the random thread about it). I'm so tired but I'm so wound up now that I can't sleep

You are not an aweful person. Your feelings are your feelings. It's good to acknowledge them. As you said, you just need time to adjust. You will love your baby boy and be a fantastic mom to him.

camichael84 · April 2016

@marikkita12 You are not a terrible person. There is nothing wrong with wanting or envisioning a certain sex, and feeling disappointed when you don't get it. Like you said, you will love this baby just as much. My SIL wanted a girl so bad, but she loves her son with all her heart, and I know she wouldn't change a single thing about him now. Perhaps your huband is upset because he is feeling happy and overjoyed and your feelings don't match his. I could see me taking that personally (if I was happy about baby's sex and DH was disappointed), when we both know it has nothing to do with your DH nor does it mean you are unhappy with your baby. Maybe go shopping for some cute little boy things together. It'll help you envision your little man in them and hopefully show DH you're trying to adjust.

abberson · April 2016

@yellowrose314 Congrats on finishing your clinicals and RN program! I'm sorry your husband was so oblivious, but I hope you celebrate anyway.

Edited because I don't actually know how to add a gif, but think Tom and Donna and treat yo'self.

vampirina · April 2016

I'mma help you out @abberson!

Image: https://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt1ozwUaoK1r3hokqo7_250.gif

Image: https://westchesterwoman.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/mimosas-treatyoself.gif

Image: https://40.media.tumblr.com/f68f6fd8452666992efc66987f6c5b1c/tumblr_nu2xp01dgm1sl2b2co3_500.jpg

@yellowrose314They might have to be mock-mimosas though

And congrats!

abberson · April 2016

Perfect! Thanks @PoodleDoodleOoo !!

Steephers123 · April 2016

DH and I watched the series finale of Parks and Rec last night, that gif makes me happy and sad at the same time

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