Hmm..............I don't think my drive is correlated with my body image I just don't want to lol. Poor DH I know some are against forcing yourself (that's not romantic, you shouldn't feel pressured, blah blah yes I know) but I do force myself. It's not bad once in it but the thought of doing it is meh
This is me, exactly.
*************************************** FORMER USERNAME:@runningisrad
Hmm..............I don't think my drive is correlated with my body image I just don't want to lol. Poor DH I know some are against forcing yourself (that's not romantic, you shouldn't feel pressured, blah blah yes I know) but I do force myself. It's not bad once in it but the thought of doing it is meh
This is me, exactly.
Ditto. I once told DH that sometimes sex is like exercising - I don't always want to do it, but afterward I am glad I did it. He was all like "well that's romantic..." He knows when I am not into it and just doing it for him and tries extra hard to make it enjoyable for me.
@ElcaB so so cute when we catch them cuddling the dog!!! When I met DH I had my dog for 5 years, and he had never had a dog. He thought I was NUTS - I talk to my dog all the time lol. Now he talks to him, talks for him, and I catch him cuddling him all the time- even more lately. I can't even handle it!!!
Since you all are covering the good, I'll go straight for the ugly.
DH and I both despise cleaning.Because of our mutual hatred, we've become fairly comfortable living in a certain level of filth and clutter. Those dirty socks on the living room floor? Eh - they'll make it to the laundry eventually... That mail from three months ago? Some day it will get sorted, no doubt.
Well eventually one of us will have the energy and say enough is enough and go on a cleaning spree. I did quite a bit of cleaning on Sunday - I cleaned the bathroom, the fridge, the dog (which is no easy task, mind you) and did few loads of laundry. I did ALL of this while DH relaxed since, according to his life philosophy Sunday is strictly for relaxing.
And then yesterday DH was on his cleaning streak. All would be find and dandy, except he ALWAYS expects me to drop everything and clean along with him when he suddenly has the energy to clean and completely ignores the fact that I clean on my own schedule. So instead of just picking up his own shit and dealing with it, he decided to berate me to do my party - completely ignoring all the work I did the day before.
I swear I love my DH, but man, I did not need that!
Are you & your husband also me & my husband? Neither of us are ever on the same page, day, or team when it comes to cleaning. It's like I do ALL THE THINGS and resent it, then he does ALL THE THINGS and resents it. We can't seem to get on a good, mutual schedule that benefits everyone and makes sense. Adulting is hard.
I relate to this. We finally hired a maid to come once a week to avoid anymore cleaning arguments.
Oh my god us too!!! Either he's doing it all and I'm slacking, or I'm doing it all and he's on his ass in his recliner. It's like we work in shifts- except he doesn't get annoyed if I'm not doing much, whereas I see him sitting on his ass while I'm cleaning and I want to end his life lol!
Sex drive- for me when we started dating DH and I were both in overdrive, and then it slowed a little- I always go through a phase where I feel like the guy I'm dating is clingy and too touchy feely and it annoys the crap out of me- since then he hasn't been quite as affectionate as he was in the beginning (still kicking myself in the ass for that one), though he is a total snuggle monster at night. My sex drive went down as I gained weight, and went back up a little as I lost weight. He wanted it ALL THE TIME. So annoying. We have occasions when our drives synced, usually (especially) when alcohol was involved. Now my pregnancy hormones are all over the place and I want it ALL THE TIME, but he's like "meh." *sigh*
I don't have specific examples to add at the moment, but I just want to say I love this thread. What a good reminder that we and our partners are humans--and we love each other in spite of/because of it.
@abberson@PoodleDoodleOoo I sure did. Went to my favourite indian take out place and got some comfort food, it was glorious. And when I got home DH was there and felt horrible. Checked my phone and he'd called me like 10 times, I had texted him just letting him know he had forgotten. I know he probably didn't do it on purpose, his memory is just awful. By that time it was too late to do anything, so he cleaned the house as penance. He even cleaned the toilet. He said he'll surprise me with something this week though
Okay. I thought of some. Or, rather, experienced some, since my last comment.
good: love how he loves to hug and kiss LO. He always gets three kisses from lo. One on each cheek and one on the lips. It's adorable and both of them love their little ritual.
Ugly: he always leaves just enough tp on the roll to cover the roll--and justify not changing it--but it's never enough for what you actually need. So frustrating.
He always brings LO to me if poop is involved. Sometimes I just say, "good nose! Go change it!" But often I just do the change. But seriously. C'mon man.
i'm probably gonna have to figure out how to get him to step up his diaper game once baby 2 arrives. Especially if LO isn't using the toilet by then....
My DH has been doing the night time routine and getting up with LO in the middle of the night when he cries for the last 3 months straight. And he's doing it so I can sleep at night and also relax in the evening. Sometimes I feel bad that I'm not contributing and when I get up to help he tells me to go sit back down and take it easy. I know he's exhausted but he loves doing it because he loves taking care of us! We are one lucky family to have him all to ourselves!
DS is starting to be a pretty wild almost 2 year old and enjoys furniture surfing which is driving me and DH up a wall as he tries to climb on everything! The other day I was telling DH how I was at my wit's end because DS kept climbing on the coffee table even as I was telling him "no" very sternly as he was trying to get on (trying to teach him to listen before just pulling him away from it).
He suggested that we just remove our coffee and side tables and have a basically empty living room to avoid the issue. Because it's not like he'd just try to crawl on his next favorite spots (the entertainment stand and dining room table) instead.... We'd be living in an empty house and eating on the floor if we went with that solution every time he tried to climb something!
@marikkita12 I felt the same way, we found out it was a boy and I was sort of disappointed. After some time (we found around 12/13 weeks) I am just as excited as my spouse, but I do hope that in the future I am able to have a daughter, because I want that mother/daughter bond. I tried to explain to my husband that snuggling your daughter in her high school years is fine, while snuggling your son in his high school years is how Norman Bates happened. Silly, but seemed to help a little bit. I hope with time his hurt feelings diminish and he understands.
@yellowrose314 seriously, congrats on finishing your program, and really getting through anything of the kind in your first tri of pregnancy. That's amazing. My husband has to be reminded 3000 times about everything and still forgets also, he calls it forgetful and I call it self-involved or inconsiderate. Hopefully he makes it up to you in an awesome way!
@Sporty1216 My husband avoids poop also. One time while changing a poop diaper he threw up. Because he got some on his hands. Just the other day I asked him to change the 11 month old's poop diaper. I knew it was bad, because she'd had diarrhea. Well. It was worse than I thought, she needed all clean clothes. He said I'm not doing this and walked away. Leaving the baby laying there with poop all over. I'm sure he wouldn't have done that if I weren't right there but still.
I love my husband a lot and wouldn't trade him for anything. But I do wish he'd get with the program regarding diaper changes. Mainly that diapers need to be changed right away and you can't ever leave a child alone with poop. Ask me how I know this.
My husband just texted me "Man, this kid loves BBQ chips" ... hmmmm. I'm not sure if that's good/bad/ugly or all of the above. We have plenty of toddler snacks that my 16 month old would get some value out of, instead of sharing the BBQ chips.. also THOSE ARE MY CHIPS YOU FOOL! Get out of there! But I love them, and I'm sure he stole a few from my husband while having a healthier snack of his own. It's all good.
I get that one too, @AnnaS930 ! I came downstairs once to hear "boy! He really loves Funyons!" Funyons!!!!! I mean, does anything get more processed than that?! Fake fried onions? Ugh. Oh well. I guess a kid's gotta have some crap food at some point, right?
My work bestie and I went down to the cafeteria today to see what they had for lunch. Gross gross and gross. Honestly, the beef stew looked like.....well, I won't even say it. I called DH to see if he had time to bring me lunch (since what I wanted was much closer to our house than my work) and he 100% came through....for me and the bestie! Today, I shall keep him.
@LeahKnits So, what happens if you leave a kid alone with poop?
I have to admit that whenever possible I leave the poop diapers to my husband. He said he doesn't mind but I can't possible imagine how that can be true. I certainly do mind. I obviously deal with them when I'm by myself but when he is around I ask him to deal with it. And, I agree with @LeahKnits you better deal with them straight away. On SuperBowl Sunday, my daughter asked me for a diaper change several times before I dealt with it (aka asked my husband to change it). It resulted in her one and only diaper rash and it was pretty bad.
@anneb644 it ends up smeared on the walls, rubbed into the carpet, it's a disgusting mess. Or if they're older they try to clean it up themselves. Which also makes a horrific mess.
DH is on my good list today After weeks of my sex drive being through the roof and him being disinterested, he finally took initiative this morning, thank goodness! He made sure he bought salad for me to have for lunch, and he made dinner for us tonight- a healthy one at that. He even remembered my makeup removing wipes- which I ran out of and totally forgot to buy today. I'll keep him... for now lol!
My husband and I jokingly try to pawn off dirty diapers on each other. If E poops my husband will say "Ahhh, stinky butt.. good thing I changed the last poop!" and I'll reply "Very good thing - you're still up to date with your changing techniques, hop on it dad!" Truthfully E goes to daycare 4 days a week and when he poops there we feel like we are really getting our money's worth. Yesterday BM was circled on his sheet 3 TIMES!!!! He's a once or twice a day pooper. Good job, kiddo! We'll consider this a free week at daycare!
I would change every single poop diaper from birth to age one, if it would get me out of changing them afterwards. Once those LO's are on solids full time, I can hardly even handle it.
The past few weeks have seen some friction with DH going to the bar after practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays and staying way too long. I don't begrudge him the time he spends with the team because that bond is important. Frankly, I'm jealous because I can't practice and grab one or two with my team right now. The bigger issue, though, is that those are the only two nights of the week when I'm home and I miss seeing him! (Can't wait for this semester to be over. Evening classes are NOT my jam!) On top of that, he'll say that he will grab something for me to eat from the store on his way home. I won't make a meal in anticipation. Then he's not home for three hours! I finally told him to forget it- I'm just eating without him.
This is where this post might get TMI...
Well, last night I ate without him and fell asleep before he got home. In the middle of the night I was awoken by a pressing need to vomit (I have been fighting something for a few days now). I made it to the toilet to vomit, but the force of it caused me to pee myself, and it got all over the floor. I was mortified and exhausted. DH got me fresh PJs, cleaned up me, the floor, and the toilet, gave me his Gatorade, and tucked me back into bed. Sometimes he really is the best.
The ONE time I changed a poopy diaper was on my 2-3 year old niece so it was all solids and I just could not contain all the poop in the diaper so it was rolling around all over the place on the sleeping bag. And of course her 5 year old sister was looking on, critiquing and giving me tips as I was doing it.
I'll work up to that level, right?
ETA: Also, for some reason, I thought this was the random's thread so sorry my story is more "random" and less SO-related.
@PoodleDoodleOoo- A lot of things about kids prep you for the next level. Newborn/infant poop is really not that bad, especially if breastfed (even formula.. still easy to manage, just smellier in my opinion). Luckily they aren't mobile for a while so you have time to prepare for that, etc etc. I mean, we're at 16 months and every now and then a poo rolls out of the diaper if we toss it on the floor during a change.. but it's somehow not a big deal? It all just becomes whatever (and I'm a super clean person)
Aww I love the version of the "Doves Cry" song that is on "Romeo and Juliet" or maybe I am just OBSESSED with that movie. RIP Prince
Did/Does anyone have the fear of their SO ending up like their parent? I was deeply anxious about this for a while. DH's dad NEVER changed a diaper of any sort (pee poop, whatever) and was gone constantly with his "activities". This in turn ended up in his parents divorcing down the road bc his mom was basically parenting alone anyway. So sad.
Anyway, I often recognize how awesome DH is (maybe it's the teacher in me lol) when he helps out big time around the house. From changing diaper explosions to scrubbing toilets, this man has won my . I'm really impressed with how he stepped up his game when DS was born and then even more so when I became pregnant with this LO. He continues to adjust to having a girl by buying little headbands (with sports logos of course) and talking about potential names I'm also looking forward to seeing how DH's dad will be with this LO bc having a girl is completely out of his realm.
@RedMar my husbands father was also pretty absent in doing baby/child related things and they also divorced when my husband was around 10 or so. My husband is super involved, in daily activities and in taking e on adventures of their own on his days off. I can totally see lacking involvement in parenting leading to many divorces, I couldn't function without a teammate and I let him know when I feel like he isn't helping enough
My DH is driving me nuts this weekend. I swear he suffers from more pregnancy symptoms than I do--from "gotta have it now" cravings to mood swings. He's not always (or even usually) this way, but this weekend. Argh. Doing my best to keep my cool and stay cheery. Tomorrow is our a/s and he took the day off. I really want it to be a special day and one during which we get along well (which, again, we usually do). Here's to smoother sailing!
ETA: aaaand, now he's taking a nap. Seriously. If you asked the two of us to describe our days and then had to guess which was pregnant, you'd choose his list.
I thought I'd put my fiance in the "good" list today. I work full time and study accounting part time and the combo of the two take a lot of my time and energy. Adding being pregnant to that list and the last few months have been tough on me.
With finals being here, I have spent most of my weekend either in a classroom or at home studying and when I got home a little while ago from class I found the dishes done, the kitchen cleaned, laundry in the washing machine with another load prepped to go and dinner planned (burgers on BBQ - yum!). My fiance explained that he felt bad that I have had so much on my plate lately and wanted to spend his day helping me out
The good: DH is the sweetest person I've ever met and he treats me like a queen. I love him to no end and he constantly shows me how much he loves me. I've mentioned this before but every morning he will get ready for work and bring me breakfast in bed. He spoils me too much! I used to always make breakfast until the onset of a muscle disease started to have me waking up in terrible pain and made it difficult to get up. He started to do it and it's become a regular habit for us. There are countless things he does for me and helps me with that are just too sweet. He loves our little girl already and talks to the belly. He's always saying how she's his little girl and how he'll love her forever. He puts everyone but himself first and anyone that knows him always tells me how he's the nicest, sweetest person they've met.
The ugly: When he gets in a mood it is such a downer for me. He's been in a bad mood lately because of work and because he's having to do more things around the house since I'm pregnant and it's terrible. He'll be distant, cold and lash out at me from time to time. This week, he was so moody and we had an argument and he just walked out on me while I was talking and pretended like I wasn't there. UGH! The next day, I went to him and told him about some prices on diapers that we had talked about and he tuned me out. When I asked him what he thought about it, he snapped and told me he was tired of talking about the baby and how that is all we talk about as if it is the center of our lives. I get how he can be overwhelmed and how maybe I talk about baby too much but no need to snap at me! He apologized and we talked about it later and things are good now. Let's see how long that lasts.
@Sporty1216 My husband seems to be suffering from sympathy pregnancy too. Weight gain, cravings, mood swings. Oh my god the mood swings. He's more dramatic than me somehow.
I hope things clear up for you and you two get to enjoy the a/s though.
Glad I'm not alone, @jln27 ! I finally joked about it with him today when he was hit with a sudden craving for steak and he took it well. Thank goodness. Things have lightened up a bit since then.
My DH (and at the moment I do also mean dickhead) is in the kitchen making himself tuna for lunch for tomorrow, after asking me to do it before I go to bed- because clearly he is incapable of doing it himself. I'm exhausted, I don't freaking feel like handling and smelling tuna. He sees me just settle in on the couch and asks me "what about my tuna?" *grrrrrr* So I look at him for a moment as if to say "seriously?" and he says he couldn't find the tuna. It's legit where it always is. Whatever. So I ask him if it's okay if I get it out he makes it- I just don't want to smell it right now after eating a big meal. He agrees. I take the tuna cans out for him, and settle back down on the couch. He asks me if he should make one or two, I said one. He then asks where the can opener is >:/ Alright, fine, I get up again and go into the kitchen, and he's grumbling and cursing "just put it back where it goes for Fs sake." I pointed out every time I have to make him tuna the tuna water goes on the opener and it needs to be washed. He continues grumbling and cursing. I point out that it's likely in the sink- to which he continues to grumble and curse, mad at me because I put the dirty dishes in the sink instead of leaving them all over the counter and stove. Then he comes in and tells me that in 36 years he has never had to wash a can opener. He's lucky I'm not trying to use it on him at the moment. Oh, and now the apartment smells like freaking tuna.
My husband also suffers from serious, serious pregnancy sympathy. Like he's gained more weight than I have! That being said, he's pretty sweet to me and since this is our third go around, he knows that pregnancy is no picnic. I think it also helps that he has to listen to me vomit every morning. If he was under any illusions that I was exaggerating how I felt, he has physical, tangible, proof that growing babies does a number on you. That, and the fact that I fall asleep within seconds of laying down in bed.
Brad is such a good husband and daddy! He is getting so excited about baby #2. Last week he had two clients cancel in a row but he had to stay in the area incase he got a call. He decided to check out the baby furniture store that I had been telling him about. He came home with dozens of brochures and couldn't wait to show me his favorites! We have our A/S on the 5th and he took the whole day off so we can buy furniture and bedding. Here he is with DS
Re: Significant Others: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Oh my god us too!!! Either he's doing it all and I'm slacking, or I'm doing it all and he's on his ass in his recliner. It's like we work in shifts- except he doesn't get annoyed if I'm not doing much, whereas I see him sitting on his ass while I'm cleaning and I want to end his life lol!
good: love how he loves to hug and kiss LO. He always gets three kisses from lo. One on each cheek and one on the lips. It's adorable and both of them love their little ritual.
Ugly: he always leaves just enough tp on the roll to cover the roll--and justify not changing it--but it's never enough for what you actually need. So frustrating.
He always brings LO to me if poop is involved. Sometimes I just say, "good nose! Go change it!" But often I just do the change. But seriously. C'mon man.
i'm probably gonna have to figure out how to get him to step up his diaper game once baby 2 arrives. Especially if LO isn't using the toilet by then....
DS is starting to be a pretty wild almost 2 year old and enjoys furniture surfing which is driving me and DH up a wall as he tries to climb on everything! The other day I was telling DH how I was at my wit's end because DS kept climbing on the coffee table even as I was telling him "no" very sternly as he was trying to get on (trying to teach him to listen before just pulling him away from it).
He suggested that we just remove our coffee and side tables and have a basically empty living room to avoid the issue. Because it's not like he'd just try to crawl on his next favorite spots (the entertainment stand and dining room table) instead.... We'd be living in an empty house and eating on the floor if we went with that solution every time he tried to climb something!
@yellowrose314 seriously, congrats on finishing your program, and really getting through anything of the kind in your first tri of pregnancy. That's amazing. My husband has to be reminded 3000 times about everything and still forgets also, he calls it forgetful and I call it self-involved or inconsiderate. Hopefully he makes it up to you in an awesome way!
I love my husband a lot and wouldn't trade him for anything. But I do wish he'd get with the program regarding diaper changes. Mainly that diapers need to be changed right away and you can't ever leave a child alone with poop. Ask me how I know this.
I have to admit that whenever possible I leave the poop diapers to my husband. He said he doesn't mind but I can't possible imagine how that can be true. I certainly do mind. I obviously deal with them when I'm by myself but when he is around I ask him to deal with it. And, I agree with @LeahKnits you better deal with them straight away. On SuperBowl Sunday, my daughter asked me for a diaper change several times before I dealt with it (aka asked my husband to change it). It resulted in her one and only diaper rash and it was pretty bad.
This is where this post might get TMI...
Well, last night I ate without him and fell asleep before he got home. In the middle of the night I was awoken by a pressing need to vomit (I have been fighting something for a few days now). I made it to the toilet to vomit, but the force of it caused me to pee myself, and it got all over the floor. I was mortified and exhausted. DH got me fresh PJs, cleaned up me, the floor, and the toilet, gave me his Gatorade, and tucked me back into bed. Sometimes he really is the best.
I'll work up to that level, right?
ETA: Also, for some reason, I thought this was the random's thread so sorry my story is more "random" and less SO-related.
ummm...the song is called When Doves Cry
Did/Does anyone have the fear of their SO ending up like their parent? I was deeply anxious about this for a while. DH's dad NEVER changed a diaper of any sort (pee poop, whatever) and was gone constantly with his "activities". This in turn ended up in his parents divorcing down the road bc his mom was basically parenting alone anyway. So sad.
Anyway, I often recognize how awesome DH is (maybe it's the teacher in me lol) when he helps out big time around the house. From changing diaper explosions to scrubbing toilets, this man has won my
ETA: aaaand, now he's taking a nap. Seriously. If you asked the two of us to describe our days and then had to guess which was pregnant, you'd choose his list.
With finals being here, I have spent most of my weekend either in a classroom or at home studying and when I got home a little while ago from class I found the dishes done, the kitchen cleaned, laundry in the washing machine with another load prepped to go and dinner planned (burgers on BBQ - yum!). My fiance explained that he felt bad that I have had so much on my plate lately and wanted to spend his day helping me out
I feel lucky
The ugly: When he gets in a mood it is such a downer for me. He's been in a bad mood lately because of work and because he's having to do more things around the house since I'm pregnant and it's terrible. He'll be distant, cold and lash out at me from time to time. This week, he was so moody and we had an argument and he just walked out on me while I was talking and pretended like I wasn't there. UGH! The next day, I went to him and told him about some prices on diapers that we had talked about and he tuned me out. When I asked him what he thought about it, he snapped and told me he was tired of talking about the baby and how that is all we talk about as if it is the center of our lives. I get how he can be overwhelmed and how maybe I talk about baby too much but no need to snap at me! He apologized and we talked about it later and things are good now. Let's see how long that lasts.
I hope things clear up for you and you two get to enjoy the a/s though.