I want my DH to be more sensitive...He barely asks how I am feeling and I just need some love snuggles right now. I think our MC really affected him and that is why he is not asking me how I am doing but I really feel that our baby is going to be fine this time and that we will be getting to take home this LO. I guess I am just feeling really needy right now and I just want some damn sex too!!!
Wow not gonna lie, today's FFFC is making me feel pretty bad about DH's and my sex life. It's pretty nonexistent. We pretty much had sex when TTC, and even then a lot of times unsuccessfully. I truly feel we have a great marriage and neither of us is cheating or anything, we just don't have crazy libidos.
We haven't had sex in like over two months.. I was on pelvic rest for a little bit and I was way too sick to even think about it.
Well, thanks to my newfound obsession with Outlander (binge watching Season 1) and their steamy sex scenes.. we had sex last night and it was awesome I'm glad to have sex back in my life! (although I did have to tell DH to stop being so gentle ha!)
Yes to this! We have had sex pretty regularly so far this pregnancy, but I haven't really wanted to. I've been so sick and bleh. HOWEVER I binge watched Outlander last week and *I* was the one initiating sex several nights.
@JamieK1882 I'm in the same boat as you. We haven't had sex since we conceived and I'm totally ok with that for the most part. I am starting to feel bad because I'm sure DH is chomping at the bit, but I'd never know because he hasn't said anything... he's been really understanding. I just don't have a high sex drive in the first place though.
@annabenanna Oh, it's just a paper cut out mask of Pam Anderson
But seriously, figure of speech haha I just go into skank mode and open up my bag of tricks. And I do NOT do that often, I don't want him expecting it all the time.
@jillianpardo I think it's always like a grass is greener type thing. My husband and I met really young and dated for a few years. People always told us we were too young and hadn't gotten to see what was out there. So we broke up for a while and both dated/had sex with other people. I don't regret those experiences at all but I also think, looking back, that people put way too much emphasis on playing the field. It was fun but it didn't change that I just wanted to be with my husband, I was just lucky to have found him early. If I had spent those years just having sex with my husband, I think I would be just as happy today, except that maybe I'd wonder if people were right about seeing what else is out there. For me at least, they weren't.
I have only dated one guy. Only kissed him. Ony had sex with him. And he was the exact opposite, had many girls before me. I don't mind, but he minds that I don't know what it's like to date/kiss/etc any other guys and is afraid I will get curious down the road. I didn't wait on purpose or anything, just nobody interested me until him. And I really have no desire whatsoever to "try out" anybody else. Kind of along the lines of what @scostel2 was saying.
@AllyTheKid He wanted more sex and more adventurous sex. After that we were having sex multiple times a day, every day. We definitely turned up the heat. Hey baby #3!! I guess things were getting dull. I'm glad he talked to me about it and we figured it out. I don't want to have a crappy sex life either. It is fun to look stuff up. I have enjoyed watching porn alone and together. I freakin' LOVE the Pirates movie. The porno one. The captain cracks me up. It doesn't take itself too seriously which is good because themed porn that does is so bad. I'll check out your suggestion, couldn't hurt!
@krzyriver I kinda felt weird about the number of women DH had been with when we first talked about it. I felt even weirder when he said AWWW to the number of people I had slept with... >:/ I don't consider him to be dirty because of the number of people he slept with and I'm sure your partner doesn't feel that way about you either. I think you are right though people want what they didn't experience (or don't want what they did).
@scostel12 Probably right on the grass thing. I guess it was meant to be if you both came back to each other and I'm sure that helps to quell any curiosity.
I didn't expect to marry DH. I didn't even want to date anyone when we first met. I had recently broken up from my first and only 7 year relationship. Everyone told me DH was a rebound. 7 years later, 2 kids and a 3rd baby on the way....I don't think it was a rebound. We definitely have gone through rocky patches but we seem to end up stronger on the other side. Both of my partners were the same size, hence the trying a bigger dildo thing. I understand being curious about what else is out there so I took his request with a grain of salt. When you have limited experiences and you hit those rough patches its very easy to think, there has got to be better out there. I'm one of those impulsive people that doesn't filter logic through the emotional experience (at least not right away) so I think that more than it is warranted. Sorry for the mini life story, haha.
I like that some porn objectives women - in a completely dirty way, of course. Girl on girl doesn't do much for me (usually throws people through a loop since I am gay!) but male female does and ones where SOMEONE is being objectified, turns me on - because I love the feeling of someone being more dominant or submissive during sex. In my head, porn is just that - porn. It's a movie (with awful acting) about sex and all the dirty nasties you can do. We don't hate movies that objective women or men, so to me it's kind of the same thing.
I like chicks doing their thing too, don't get me wrong. More power to you, woman! But then again, I just don't really see it as objectifying when you can choose what kind of porn you want to watch and porn is made exclusively for that purpose - people's fantasies.
Oh, yes. I like the idea of being dominated/told what to do. But there are times when I don't find it sexy. I've seen porn where girls were choked (to the point of turning dark red/almost purple) while giving a blow job, all while calling her degrading names and then cuming all over her face.
But while I'm into some light slapping, mild choking, hair pulling, or even some light bondage, more extreme forms of BSDM are not for me, so maybe that's why I don't like it?
I like your analogy with movies though - which totally makes sense!
@OrangeEvthat is so great! It's nice to know that that still happens.
Edit: Great that he's your only one anyway, that is wonderful in my eyes, not the him sleeping around a lot before and being nervous you'll want to explore later. Anyway, I'm sure he'll get over that.
@jillianpardo Damn... I am pretty sure my vagina would swell itself closed if I tried multiple times a day, even NOT pregnant. Kudos for trying, Sorry you are dealing with that though and I hope it gets better for you and it's just some weird phase.
@AllyTheKid Bahah!! If you space it out around breakfast, lunch,and dinner its not so bad. Lube!!! I didn't keep it up for longer than 2 weeks but we kept it more frequent after our catch up.
My family dr (DH goes to a different practice) told me that the more you have sex the happier the marriage (happier the husband). She said even if you don't feel like it, just do it. LOL. I told DH when I got home from that apt and he was like....keep going to that dr.
@jillianpardo how do you even manage when you have other kids??? That would make it such a chore for me! I just couldn't, you are a God damn goddess though haha I admire your stamina.
@JamieK1882 same here, nada since we conceived. Nothing to feel bad about! And, I enjoyed seeing that another person preps their smorgasbord with BG monitor ready
@AllyTheKid Thanks, I am okay with what(who, lol) my husband has been through. It has made him who he is today and I tell him not to regret his past ever. Someone has to tell our kids how to get over breakups because I sure can't...
@OrangeEv My situation very much echoes yours. I was 17 when I started dating my husband and he's literally all I've ever known, but for some reason, I'm not at all curious about what's "out there." He, however, started off earlier than I did and had way more experience by the time I came his way. In fact, when we first started dating him, I only slept with him because I had heard so many rumors about how many girls he had slept with and was scared he'd get bored with me and move on. Luckily, it worked out for us
@uponastar16 haha I didn't even notice that in the background-how funny and appropriate! I'm actually working in the pharmacy today so the BG monitor isn't mine
@JamieK1882 Me too. We're so happy. I think problems come more from a difference in libidos. Nothing wrong if you're both satisfied. I think that the sex-obsessiveness that the media portrays is unrealistic. It makes you feel like there's something wrong with you if you're not so sexually driven. And hey, we managed to reproduce anyway!
I wear Hanky Panky. They're one size fits all, and although they're expensive, they last for years, they're crazy comfortable, and they are great options for maternity as well as normal underwear.
How does one size underwear work? I'm a size 20 with a large booty, I don't understand this.
Hanky Panky undies are made out of "lace" that is actually crazy stretchy stuff and not itchy at all. The thongs are one size fits all, but I think the boy shorts may actually come in three sizes.
My family dr (DH goes to a different practice) told me that the more you have sex the happier the marriage (happier the husband). She said even if you don't feel like it, just do it. LOL. I told DH when I got home from that apt and he was like....keep going to that dr.
My husband has explicitly said he doesn't want me having sex if I don't want to and he would feel bad for pressuring me if he found out I was. I'm not having sex just because he is horny if I'm not into it, plenty of other ways to keep a husband happy.
@jillianpardo No, he definitely doesn't think that about me. And I don't think that *I'm* dirty, I just feel dirty when I think about it. If that makes sense? I just look back at some of these guys and think "Why did I do that? Ugh." And I'm glad that only one man will touch me from now on. If I could do it again, I wouldn't have been so free with my body. There was just no reason to be. Although I suppose I never would have met my husband if I'd been too conservative. He was supposed to be a one-night stand who turned into a booty call. Lol. And then somehow we became friends.
this thread has gotten interesting while I slept. Haha (timezones)
We have sex almost every day. If we're too tired we just go to sleep, no big deal. Even if I don't necessarily feel like it at first, he's really good at turning me on. I sometimes feel bad when I think about life before DH because I had been in a terrible relationship for over a year with someone who made me feel like sex was never my choice to make and that if he wanted it he would take it. When I finally got away from him I rebounded HARD and slept with a few of (now)DH's friends, because they were the bad boys that I knew were not relationship material. Telling DH about that after we had been together awhile was hard and I was nervous would be a deal breaker, but with the way guys talk he probably already knew....
One thing that was HILARIOUS is when we finally went to sign our marriage certificate at the church (so if we want to we can baptize little one) they made us have a counseling session with the pastor and (remember this is Tanzania) he told us to "remember when you're married you are always suppose to sleep naked" which I later laughed at. I just don't think it's possible to sleep naked all the time!
@OrangeEv Same here! My husband was the only person that I dated, only relationship, only person I've had sex with. It's not because I was religious or we met young or anything, I just waited a long time for someone I could connect with and feel comfortable with. I don't think everyone needs to do that, it was just right for me. I have no regrets and no interest in "playing the field." It's just wholly unappealing to me. I love coming home to my best friend every day. A good sex life is important to me because it increases intimacy, but neither of us has gotten bored yet with keeping it pretty vanilla. I'm okay with that!
About the underwear thing... I only wear two types of underwear (from VS). During the day, lace waistband thongs (similar to hanky panky but cheaper) and at night lace waistband cheeky boy short. I refuse to go back to any underwear that does not have a thick lace waistband, pregnant or not. They are hands down the best for no panty lines or muffin tops!
My family dr (DH goes to a different practice) told me that the more you have sex the happier the marriage (happier the husband). She said even if you don't feel like it, just do it. LOL. I told DH when I got home from that apt and he was like....keep going to that dr.
My husband has explicitly said he doesn't want me having sex if I don't want to and he would feel bad for pressuring me if he found out I was. I'm not having sex just because he is horny if I'm not into it, plenty of other ways to keep a husband happy.
YES! I think you are and DH are right. I wouldn't want to be pressured and there are other ways to keep your husband happy. DH would never force me to have sex. This conversation with the Dr coincided with taking a medication that would basically completely zap my libido (hence her bringing that up).
@kmolleltz Hubby and I always sleep naked. I started doing it when I heard its good to air your lady parts at night. And hubby started doing it cause he heard sleeping with underwear could decrease sperm count. Now it's just a habit. Plus we later heard its good for your marriage to sleep naked. Probably not possible with a toddler, but my son and nieces aren't allowed in our room so it works for now.
@krzyriver yeaah I mostly think about in the future with a toddler and whatnot. I also found it so interesting because MANY of the families here live in one room. If they are lucky they have two rooms. But if you have one room your whole family sleeps in, you want me to believe the parents are always naked?
I know it's no longer Friday but I have to confess...so far today I've had a bagel with cream cheese, 2 donuts, 3 handfuls of cheez-its and a chicken tender. Send help.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@kmolleltz I love sleeping in the nude, it's so incredibly comfortable! I don't get to do it as often as I'd like because we have six kids in our house but when I do it's heaven!
Re: FFFC
TTC#2: BFP: 8-23-15 MMC: 10-29-15
DD 2: 9-15-16
DD 3: 9-16-17
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
But seriously, figure of speech haha I just go into skank mode and open up my bag of tricks. And I do NOT do that often, I don't want him expecting it all the time.
I didn't wait on purpose or anything, just nobody interested me until him. And I really have no desire whatsoever to "try out" anybody else. Kind of along the lines of what @scostel2 was saying.
@krzyriver I kinda felt weird about the number of women DH had been with when we first talked about it. I felt even weirder when he said AWWW to the number of people I had slept with... >:/ I don't consider him to be dirty because of the number of people he slept with and I'm sure your partner doesn't feel that way about you either. I think you are right though people want what they didn't experience (or don't want what they did).
@scostel12 Probably right on the grass thing. I guess it was meant to be if you both came back to each other and I'm sure that helps to quell any curiosity.
I didn't expect to marry DH. I didn't even want to date anyone when we first met. I had recently broken up from my first and only 7 year relationship. Everyone told me DH was a rebound. 7 years later, 2 kids and a 3rd baby on the way....I don't think it was a rebound. We definitely have gone through rocky patches but we seem to end up stronger on the other side. Both of my partners were the same size, hence the trying a bigger dildo thing. I understand being curious about what else is out there so I took his request with a grain of salt. When you have limited experiences and you hit those rough patches its very easy to think, there has got to be better out there. I'm one of those impulsive people that doesn't filter logic through the emotional experience (at least not right away) so I think that more than it is warranted. Sorry for the mini life story, haha.
O16 April Siggy
But while I'm into some light slapping, mild choking, hair pulling, or even some light bondage, more extreme forms of BSDM are not for me, so maybe that's why I don't like it?
I like your analogy with movies though - which totally makes sense!
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Edit: Great that he's your only one anyway, that is wonderful in my eyes, not the him sleeping around a lot before and being nervous you'll want to explore later. Anyway, I'm sure he'll get over that.
@jillianpardo Damn... I am pretty sure my vagina would swell itself closed if I tried multiple times a day, even NOT pregnant. Kudos for trying, Sorry you are dealing with that though and I hope it gets better for you and it's just some weird phase.
O16 April Siggy
O16 April Siggy
O16 April Siggy
many rumors about how many girls he had slept with and was scared he'd get bored with me and move on. Luckily, it worked out for us
I dont know how they do it, but they're magic.
BFP: February 2016 EDD: October 17, 2016
We have sex almost every day. If we're too tired we just go to sleep, no big deal. Even if I don't necessarily feel like it at first, he's really good at turning me on.
I sometimes feel bad when I think about life before DH because I had been in a terrible relationship for over a year with someone who made me feel like sex was never my choice to make and that if he wanted it he would take it. When I finally got away from him I rebounded HARD and slept with a few of (now)DH's friends, because they were the bad boys that I knew were not relationship material. Telling DH about that after we had been together awhile was hard and I was nervous would be a deal breaker, but with the way guys talk he probably already knew....
One thing that was HILARIOUS is when we finally went to sign our marriage certificate at the church (so if we want to we can baptize little one) they made us have a counseling session with the pastor and (remember this is Tanzania) he told us to "remember when you're married you are always suppose to sleep naked" which I later laughed at. I just don't think it's possible to sleep naked all the time!
About the underwear thing... I only wear two types of underwear (from VS). During the day, lace waistband thongs (similar to hanky panky but cheaper) and at night lace waistband cheeky boy short. I refuse to go back to any underwear that does not have a thick lace waistband, pregnant or not. They are hands down the best for no panty lines or muffin tops!
It's a boy!
O16 April Siggy
O16 April Siggy
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16