@AnnaS930 Both DH and I have dark brown/almost black hair and brown eyes and DS has light brown hair and blue/gray eyes. I am so anxious to see how this little girl is going to look...especially after the curveball DS threw at us being blue eyed. My mom and FIL have light brown hair and blue eyes so that's where he got it from, but I definitely didn't expect it!
@PSUBecky23 - oh man, I hear you. DH and I are looking at daycare centers right now and it's just so not fun. I think they were incredibly lucky they had the opportunity to do it - my sister had just landed a new job and a new (amazing) center just happened to be built right next door.
Any experienced mamas on here with tips about a 1 year old who is scratching? My son is 16 months and very social/playful, but often puts his hands on people's faces and either grabs (a nose - ouch!) or scratches. He is not doing this with any sort of aggression (which tends to be what I'm finding when googling for help), more discovering/being playful. When you stop him, he wants to do it more (especially when grabbing at faces.. he does this mostly when playful/goofy/tired at night with my husband). It's painful. We've been trying to hold his wrists/stop him right before he does it and tell him firmly "no, we don't scratch" which is very minimally effective as he thinks it's a game. Today my husband had to sign an incident report at daycare because he scratched another kid - my stomach sank when he texted me! He told them we're working on it, and they said it wasn't a big deal and he was just discovering and also working on it. HELLLLLP! or at least coddle me and tell me I'm not raising a demon!
@AnnaS930 Janet Lansbury is my go-to parenting guru. Check out her website, if you're interested. Her advice would be to acknowledge your son and what he's doing and then explain why he shouldn't do it. Example "I understand you want to touch my face but it hurts me and I can't let you hurt me. Let's find something else you can do." (It's kind of hippy dippy and not for everyone but I love that her methods place value on a child's feelings.)
But I'm also the mother of a child who's peeing on floors and hitting other children with objects. So what the hell do I know?
@PSUBecky23- Thank you! I appreciate the suggestion. I'm not anti-hippy, at least not at this stage where he isn't doing it out of aggression. I mean if the kid is on a rage and ripping at people I don't want to be all sunshine and flowers and whispering to him ya know? But at this stage where he's doing it from a good place (as far as I can tell, otherwise he's the world's next expert sociopath) I'd like a subtle approach. I also just like having somewhere to start from, so that's where I'll begin! Reading up tonight!!
It's fun imagining what baby will be like. My 2 boys look very similar now, but Ben was born with a full head of dark hair (now blonde) and James was born with fine blonde hair, and is now very blond. I'm blond hair blue eyes along with most of my family...DH is light brown hair green eyes, but his sister is dark brown hair and brown eyes (Italian Mom & German Dad). I think my MIL is hoping our little girl will get the Italian look.
I also wonder how big she will be. Ben was 8lb 3oz, and James was 9lb 12oz. She can't be much bigger than that right?
Also going to be cutting/filing down his little nails tonight! I even thought last night "I should really clip his nails, I'll do it tomorrow!" as they need to be clipped weekly. Now REALLY wishing I had clipped them so maybe the scratch wouldn't have been a scratch at all, Bummer.
I read Hands Are Not for Hitting to both of my boys when they started scratching/smacking/etc. Both of them liked it and it seemed to help. There are more socially acceptable hand-motions for just about everything described in the book (be prepared for waving, hugging, etc) so I think that helped.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
@camichael84 unfortunately no time to run anywhere. I'm a therapist and have clients all day.
We we have the pacifier issue too. My 20 month old is totally addicted and it's holding up his speech for sure. He just loves the damn thing so much! And in the next six months we are moving, he will have to switch daycare, and he will have two new siblings. I struggle with making him give it up when I know all that is happening.
@AnnaS930 and @PSUBecky23 -- we do the same thing around here. Restrain the offending appendage and explain that's not nice and not what we do. I'm going to have to check out hands are not for hitting, @Thurstobertay -- my LO has a fondness for waking me up (if I happen to have fallen asleep while lying next to him to get him back to sleep) with a whack to the head/face. Boo.
So I feel like I need to confess...my older daughter just gave up her paci three weeks ago. She was 4 in January. She was so attached to that thing, breaking the habit was pure hell. Like to the point that I'd consider not giving baby #3 a paci. I put off her 6 month dental check up because I didn't want to hear it from the dentist. Then, one morning she woke up and said "I don't want messed up teeth. I'll save my pacis for the baby." And that was it.
We just got back from the dentist and she's still in the no cavity club and they made a big deal about her giving up the paci and let her pick two prizes. Sweetest thing...she picked out a duck as her second prize to give to her little sister because she loves ducks. It can be tough raising these girls, but it's little things like this that makes me feel like we are doing something right.
@AnnaS930 My kids have all done similar things. Just be consistent with the grabbing his hands and saying "No scratching. Scratching hurts mama, do you want to hurt mama?" or "No, you can't have my nose! I need my nose!". I also like to make their hand lay flat and then kind of rub my face after they've scratched it, and say "See, be nice to mama. Be nice, it's nice to be nice." It'll stop being a game before too long. Consistence is the big thing.
Disciplining a 1 1/2 year old is so difficult and takes a lot of patience. It is very frustrating always having to tell DS to stop pulling on my glasses, but he is getting better. It is just a very, very slow process that requires a lot of persistence enforcing.
We quit the paci cold turkey when my daughter was 2. I took them away and explained to her that she's a big girl, and that only babies use paci's. I also let her pick out a new toy and whenever she asked for a paci I suggested that we return the big girl toy. She never wanted to do that.
I am so sad! DH came down with something stomach-related last night and called into work. I was fine and then it hit me towards the end of my workday and I almost passed out in the middle of talking to someone. I made it to a restroom and once I felt more stable I left work. We were supposed to start our hypnobirthing class tonight but that won't happen now. I hate that I committed to it yesterday and turned around and had to cancel. Booo.
Oh yeah and not feeling well sucks too. Sorry for the whining. I know a lot of ladies here have been sick or had sick family members so I figured you would get it.
But the minute I feel better I am getting Pizza Hut!!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
So kind of along the discipline line, I think I need to talk to my best friend. Her son (will be 3 in under a month) has always been rough and rarely listens, but now he's getting rough with my girls. Our other best friend already mentioned something to her back in Oct because he was constantly hitting, kicking and punching her girls. To the point that when her girls would see him, they'd run and cling to their mom/dad.
Two weeks ago, he was over and was just awful. Taking out toy bins, dumping them. Throwing toys off my furniture, walls, tv, etc. He took my daughter's Peppa Pig house and pounded it on my little one's head repeatedly until we could grab it from his hands. Repeatedly hitting my girls. My friend disciplined him by sitting with him in a chair then giving him her iPhone to watch videos.
Saturday, we watched him so they could go out for their anniversary. He dumped a plate of food on the floor on purpose, flew his Lego plane into a can of pop and dumped that on the floor, etc. My breaking point came about ten minutes before they were leaving. He put his arm around my little one's neck in a choke hold and would not let go. The look in my little girl's face was sheer terror. It took my husband and his dad to pull him off. I was so shaken and distraught. Did they apologize? No. Did they check in the next day? No.
I hate any sort of confrontation, but I feel like I need to tell her I'm uncomfortable with his behavior. I couldn't sleep after it happened on Saturday and worked myself up into a nasty migraine that lasted Sunday and all day yesterday. I need to figure out the right words. I hate this kind of stuff and what I hate even more is how hard I find it to stick up for myself and my girls.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this, I'd appreciate them.
@LizC216 Oh, that's so hard. My neices and nephews used to pick on my oldest. Their parents would say things like "She needs to learn to fight back!" I never said anything, but I did limit contact and I was quick to jump in and loudly say "Be nice! She's smaller than you!" When their parents could hear.
Can you ask her if that's all she does for discipline? Because that's not a punishment and she's teaching him that if he misbehaves, he gets to watch videos on her phone. Are there other things you can suggest that she use for discipline. "When my daughter misbehaves, this is what I do, and it works really well."
I also enforce rules for MY house. All the children at my house follow the rules, regardless if their parents are here or not. If they misbehave when their parents are here, I make them go sit by their mom or dad and tell them what they did.
@JennM205 we live in upstate NY. Currently the house is rented (thank GOD) but I would like to sell it and move on with our lives (similar situation to you guys where we lived there first and then decided to move). The market here SUCKS and is totally for buyers. I'm hoping that a few new businesses in the are will get things moving soon.
@LeahKnits I'm going to have to try some of those things. I'm always afraid to say things to the kid, if the parents are nearby, but truly if you are going to be so passive, why not? Especially when this kind of nonsense is happening inside my house.
I know at her house, she was giving him time outs in his room. However, she would sit him in there and shut the door. The room is full of toys and fun distractions. Again, not a punishment. I'm by no means perfect and I can tell you my methods are not perfect. The thing is we take things away, make time outs consistent and boring and follow through when we say something. And I don't know that she tries anything different. My husband and I have found that what works for one kid, doesn't work for the other so we change it up.
Ugh, I hate dealing with this, but you did give me some good ideas.
Sorry if this has been discussed already, I truly cannot keep up with this thread.
But anyone else notice the odd D15 drive by giving everyone registry advice (I believe it's on the waste of $ thread)? You're not lurking very well if you do not see that we have our share of BTDT moms with more than 4 months of parenting experience. I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it adds no particular insight.
@KimmySchmidt Between that and the increase in unfamiliar names posting special snowflake threads about every little twitch in their bodies, I've been really working hard to fight back the snark! It's quite possible I've just hit an irritable patch and am the only one being weird about it, but seriously! If you have good advice or real concerns, please share. Otherwise, mind your business and check the search bar for common topics!
@LizC216 I found that letting the parents know that I didn't like it, just by telling the kids to be nice, was helpful. It let them know that I wasn't okay with their kids being mean, but I also didn't have to actually criticize their parenting. I hope you find a way to talk to your friend. Also, I don't think there is anything wrong with making the kid stay out of the playroom if they're being mean.
@Jabreen@KimmySchmidt Idk, I'm still annoyed at all the randoms that post on the Due Date thread who never ever participate. They just give me extra work and don't even love tit any of my posts. How rude!!
@KimmySchmidt Between that and the increase in unfamiliar names posting special snowflake threads about every little twitch in their bodies, I've been really working hard to fight back the snark! It's quite possible I've just hit an irritable patch and am the only one being weird about it, but seriously! If you have good advice or real concerns, please share. Otherwise, mind your business and check the search bar for common topics!
@mom2adoodle I hear ya about the due date thread. I've stopped looking at it. The teacher in me wants a spreadsheet format with the "regulars" on here. I don't care when the random drive by is due. Participate in some other convos dammit
@RedMar I know, right? Regina George is coming out and it's not even Wednesdays. Also a regulars sex thread. I want to see what the people I know are having. I'm like OH YAY A BOY! OH WAIT...YOU ARE??
Sorry if this has been discussed already, I truly cannot keep up with this thread.
But anyone else notice the odd D15 drive by giving everyone registry advice (I believe it's on the waste of $ thread)? You're not lurking very well if you do not see that we have our share of BTDT moms with more than 4 months of parenting experience. I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it adds no particular insight.
Yeah that post could've been summarized in the waste of $ thread with: "bedding"
I took back my "love tit" bc I realized my posted thread title was not really answered.
Sorry if this has been discussed already, I truly cannot keep up with this thread.
But anyone else notice the odd D15 drive by giving everyone registry advice (I believe it's on the waste of $ thread)? You're not lurking very well if you do not see that we have our share of BTDT moms with more than 4 months of parenting experience. I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it adds no particular insight.
She got a teensy bit snarky with me when I called her out on it. Haha.
And personally, at 4 months in, I still had no idea what the fuck I was doing (and still don't- haha)
I think we're all learning as we go, but it's like "Are you seriously recommending a bumbo over a high chair? Your child is not old enough to eat solid foods. Sit down."
Sorry if this has been discussed already, I truly cannot keep up with this thread.
But anyone else notice the odd D15 drive by giving everyone registry advice (I believe it's on the waste of $ thread)? You're not lurking very well if you do not see that we have our share of BTDT moms with more than 4 months of parenting experience. I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it adds no particular insight.
She got a teensy bit snarky with me when I called her out on it. Haha.
Considering the bumbo is supposed to only go on the floor, is she feeding her baby on the floor? Also what happened to waiting until six months for solids?
@LizC216 My baby's not even here yet and I'm dreading the day if I ever have to bring it up to another parent (or if my kid is the one with the troubling behavior!) Chances are she knows that her child's behavior isn't very good. Maybe just bring it up gently like "Boys can be so difficult to discipline. I wasn't sure what to do the other night when he really scared my daughter and was hitting. Next time should I try having a conversation with him or does time out with no toys work?" That may open a dialogue that doesn't seem so accusatory.
I am curious...what face wash does everyone use? I feel like the worst mom in the world as I discovered my face wash I have been using FOREVER has salicylic acid in it. I checked my acne meds for that stuff but didn't even think about my face wash. I don't know what I should switch to for combination oily/dry skin (plus breakouts before pregnancy). And I am praying I didn't hurt the baby in any way. Thank-you in advance for sharing!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@blondie080300 I recently switched over to Burt's Bees. It's like lotion almost when you're washing your face with it, but it's way more gentle on my skin.
And for the record, I wasn't aware of the dangers of salicylic acid and I used it all throughout my last pregnancy. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it!
@blondie080300 This may not help you since I generally have dry skin, but I use LUSH Angels on Bare Skin. It's basically ground almonds, lavender and a small handful of other ingredients. You take a small clump, add some water to make a paste and then use it like a scrub. It leaves my skin soft and happy.
They do make cleansers for more oily/breakout prone skin that are natural. Dark Angels and Herbalism (if they still make it, it was DC'd once, then brought back; not sure of the current status) are for oily and acne-prone skin respectively. They have the same sort of form as AoBS (a solid sort of "dough" of varying textures that you mix with a little water).
Dark Angels has a lot of charcoal in it, so it can be very drying if you don't have oily skin, but I use it occasionally. It also leaves a grey/black residue on skin if you don't rinse well and can be messy to use.
They don't work for everyone and can be a bit pricey (plus they're freshly made, so can dry out and get hard to use), so YMMV, but I've had good luck with them for years.
Re: April Randoms Thread
We've been trying to hold his wrists/stop him right before he does it and tell him firmly "no, we don't scratch" which is very minimally effective as he thinks it's a game. Today my husband had to sign an incident report at daycare because he scratched another kid - my stomach sank when he texted me! He told them we're working on it, and they said it wasn't a big deal and he was just discovering and also working on it.
HELLLLLP! or at least coddle me and tell me I'm not raising a demon!
@AnnaS930 Janet Lansbury is my go-to parenting guru. Check out her website, if you're interested. Her advice would be to acknowledge your son and what he's doing and then explain why he shouldn't do it. Example "I understand you want to touch my face but it hurts me and I can't let you hurt me. Let's find something else you can do." (It's kind of hippy dippy and not for everyone but I love that her methods place value on a child's feelings.)
But I'm also the mother of a child who's peeing on floors and hitting other children with objects. So what the hell do I know?
It's fun imagining what baby will be like. My 2 boys look very similar now, but Ben was born with a full head of dark hair (now blonde) and James was born with fine blonde hair, and is now very blond. I'm blond hair blue eyes along with most of my family...DH is light brown hair green eyes, but his sister is dark brown hair and brown eyes (Italian Mom & German Dad). I think my MIL is hoping our little girl will get the Italian look.
I also wonder how big she will be. Ben was 8lb 3oz, and James was 9lb 12oz. She can't be much bigger than that right?
Awkward Family Fun
We we have the pacifier issue too. My 20 month old is totally addicted and it's holding up his speech for sure. He just loves the damn thing so much! And in the next six months we are moving, he will have to switch daycare, and he will have two new siblings. I struggle with making him give it up when I know all that is happening.
We just got back from the dentist and she's still in the no cavity club and they made a big deal about her giving up the paci and let her pick two prizes. Sweetest thing...she picked out a duck as her second prize to give to her little sister because she loves ducks. It can be tough raising these girls, but it's little things like this that makes me feel like we are doing something right.
Oh yeah and not feeling well sucks too. Sorry for the whining. I know a lot of ladies here have been sick or had sick family members so I figured you would get it.
But the minute I feel better I am getting Pizza Hut!!
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Two weeks ago, he was over and was just awful. Taking out toy bins, dumping them. Throwing toys off my furniture, walls, tv, etc. He took my daughter's Peppa Pig house and pounded it on my little one's head repeatedly until we could grab it from his hands. Repeatedly hitting my girls. My friend disciplined him by sitting with him in a chair then giving him her iPhone to watch videos.
Saturday, we watched him so they could go out for their anniversary. He dumped a plate of food on the floor on purpose, flew his Lego plane into a can of pop and dumped that on the floor, etc. My breaking point came about ten minutes before they were leaving. He put his arm around my little one's neck in a choke hold and would not let go. The look in my little girl's face was sheer terror. It took my husband and his dad to pull him off. I was so shaken and distraught. Did they apologize? No. Did they check in the next day? No.
I hate any sort of confrontation, but I feel like I need to tell her I'm uncomfortable with his behavior. I couldn't sleep after it happened on Saturday and worked myself up into a nasty migraine that lasted Sunday and all day yesterday. I need to figure out the right words. I hate this kind of stuff and what I hate even more is how hard I find it to stick up for myself and my girls.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this, I'd appreciate them.
Can you ask her if that's all she does for discipline? Because that's not a punishment and she's teaching him that if he misbehaves, he gets to watch videos on her phone. Are there other things you can suggest that she use for discipline. "When my daughter misbehaves, this is what I do, and it works really well."
I also enforce rules for MY house. All the children at my house follow the rules, regardless if their parents are here or not. If they misbehave when their parents are here, I make them go sit by their mom or dad and tell them what they did.
I know at her house, she was giving him time outs in his room. However, she would sit him in there and shut the door. The room is full of toys and fun distractions. Again, not a punishment. I'm by no means perfect and I can tell you my methods are not perfect. The thing is we take things away, make time outs consistent and boring and follow through when we say something. And I don't know that she tries anything different. My husband and I have found that what works for one kid, doesn't work for the other so we change it up.
Ugh, I hate dealing with this, but you did give me some good ideas.
But anyone else notice the odd D15 drive by giving everyone registry advice (I believe it's on the waste of $ thread)? You're not lurking very well if you do not see that we have our share of BTDT moms with more than 4 months of parenting experience. I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it adds no particular insight.
Also, I don't think there is anything wrong with making the kid stay out of the playroom if they're being mean.
I'm being semi sarcastic semi real btw.
I took back my "love tit" bc I realized my posted thread title was not really answered.
I like that you kept it real.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
They do make cleansers for more oily/breakout prone skin that are natural. Dark Angels and Herbalism (if they still make it, it was DC'd once, then brought back; not sure of the current status) are for oily and acne-prone skin respectively. They have the same sort of form as AoBS (a solid sort of "dough" of varying textures that you mix with a little water).
Dark Angels has a lot of charcoal in it, so it can be very drying if you don't have oily skin, but I use it occasionally. It also leaves a grey/black residue on skin if you don't rinse well and can be messy to use.
They don't work for everyone and can be a bit pricey (plus they're freshly made, so can dry out and get hard to use), so YMMV, but I've had good luck with them for years.
● IUI #2: BFP - early M/C
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