May 2016 Moms

Comments from Strangers Thread

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Re: Comments from Strangers Thread

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  • After reading all of these I feel pretty grateful that I've been spared the inappropriate comments. The only one that has made me mad so far was when I announced to my Grad School co-hort back in January that I was pregnant. After the announcement one of my classmates (a women in her 50's with two adult children) came up to me and said "It's so nice to see a smile on your face!" WTF does that mean? It bothered me for days. As I reflected on her comment and thought back on my past interactions with her I realized that her and I only interact two days a month, and at that point had only known each other for five months. I also realized I must have a pretty bad resting bitch face when I'm in class. I'm sorry if I don't have a smile on my face all of time. Also, being pregnant, going back to school after 16 years and then finding out there were two babies, but one didn't make it. That's a lot to handle. Again, sorry if I'm not happy go lucky all of the time!
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  • I've been fairly lucky - I even hate to bring this up here but I have the opposite issue from most of y'all - no one believed I was pregnant until about a month ago.  So most of my annoying stranger/coworker comments are "Are you sure you're due in May?" I'm 32 weeks and just today at my physical my PCP said "you're 4 months along right?" Uh...more like double that.

    I have had 2 doozies of douchie comments though:
    1. "You don't even look pregnant, you could just be fat!" - granted that was a couple months ago, but seriously? Why would you tell a hormonal woman that she just looks fat and not pregnant?
    2. Customer came into my office and started arguing with me about a project, then when I became agitated (yet still totally professional and calm) he said "Woah, you should calm down!  It's not good for someone in your condition." Oh I'll be real calm asshole after my fist goes through your throat.

    The only other thing pissing me off a bit is everyone's opinion on leave. DH is very lucky and gets 6 weeks paternity paid - I get nothing but what sick time and vacation I can scrimp together which is closer to 4.  Whatever else I take is unpaid (well more like negative since I still need to cover medical insurance premiums that are deducted from my paycheck).  I agree this is an important time and I need to respect what my dr says regarding what I medically CAN do depending on delivery method - but why is it so horrifying that I would go back before my husband? People don't even mention the medical aspect when they lecture at me - it's very much just a double standard that I am less of a woman or mother because I would consider going back before the normal 6 weeks so I can provide for my family (I make significantly more than my husband, and if he's paid to stay home it seems selfish to take it off as well when we don't BOTH need to be there).  We've been saving so I can stay home if I really want to and will play it by ear depending on how I'm feeling emotionally and physically - but the double standard implications just get under my skin.
    Honestly tell them to suck it. I'm in Canada and get 12 months that is slightly paid. With my first son, I went back to work after 3 months as my husband wasn't working at the time and it made more sense for him to be with our son for the other 9 months. My son is a perfectly well adjusted 4 year old boy - that's all that matters. 
    Exactly.  Whatever works for your family is what you should do.  
  • So these aren't stranger comments, but I'm shocked at the amount of people who have recently asked me if I've felt the baby move.  Like women who have had children always ask me this.  I am obviously 8 months pregnant and I find this really odd and annoying for some reason.  I usually tell them, yes I have felt him move for the past 4-5 months.
  • That's funny @js8812 , my friend just asked me that same question. Never mind that she is a mother of two. But she's excused cause of being tipsy at the time. I guess I don't look very approachable because strangers don't comment or try to touch me. Though today someone did decide to play guess what I'm having though I started that conversation . Yep you're 50/50 chance guess was accurate. Good job. 
  • My husband's cousin, who I generally adore, is fond of saying "I told you it was twins". No dude you didn't, you teased me near the beginning with "uh oh what if it's twins?" - that does not mean you magically knew. 
  • I really wanted to post this in the Baby Dropped thread, but figured we need to let that one be. BUT, the gym teacher here just popped in for some Tylenol and asked how many weeks along. I said just over 35wks. She said "Oh, good. Two more weeks and you are out of the woods!" I must have had a confused look on my face because she said (and I sh*t you not) "Well, at 37 weeks you are all set, right? Then you can pop that baby out no problem!" I smiled and said "I am hoping to cook this little lady as long as I can and really it is up to her when she comes" and left it at that.

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  • I really wanted to post this in the Baby Dropped thread, but figured we need to let that one be. BUT, the gym teacher here just popped in for some Tylenol and asked how many weeks along. I said just over 35wks. She said "Oh, good. Two more weeks and you are out of the woods!" I must have had a confused look on my face because she said (and I sh*t you not) "Well, at 37 weeks you are all set, right? Then you can pop that baby out no problem!" I smiled and said "I am hoping to cook this little lady as long as I can and really it is up to her when she comes" and left it at that.
    I had a similar encounter with a neighbor. She is due 1 day before me. She said, "only 3 weeks to go!" I said, "well more like 6 weeks." She said nope, 3 weeks, she's going to ask her doctor to induce her the day she turns 37w. I didn't have the balls to tell that 39w is considered full term. 
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  • Ugh. "aren't you done yet?"
    no. No I'm not. 
  • We bought a car tonight, and the salesman asked to take our pic with the car.

    I posed with my husband and then the sales guy told me and a group of people in the dealership when I turned sideways, half the car disappeared.

    seriously? 
  •  I was walking to the elevator and an older woman was arguing with her middle aged son. He was cursing at her and then he left. She looked at me bent down at my bump and said "never have kids, oops too late"!

    I thought it was rude. Her son was cursing up a storm and I feel like she really meant what she was saying. 
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  • Pregghers said:
    I work in a cubicle farm and the location of my cube results in people chatting with me all. the. time.  While waiting for print jobs,  while making coffee,  while heating up food. There I am,  so they talk to me- no matter how busy or b*tchy I am at that moment.
      So today a coworker is small talking to me while little baby is practicing karate. Coworker is watching my belly moving and says "that's really gross."   This really ticked me off. I have a VERY active baby and I think it's really cool that anyone can see the baby moving.  Basically just shut your mouth, jerkface. 
    Tell that dumbass not to look then. good grief some people.
  • Ex-client saw me at a job fair this week. She literally squealed, held out both her hands, and said "Let me touch!"  *sigh*  I let her, cause it's easier that way. Then she spent a good 10 minutes telling me what I need to do. I "have" to get the epidural, and I'm nuts because my hospital bag isn't packed, and all sorts of other things. I forgot how draining she is.

    Image result for green dog

    Me: 30 DH: 32
    BFP #1: 9/12/2015
    DD: 6/1/2016
    BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
  • Pregghers said:
    I work in a cubicle farm and the location of my cube results in people chatting with me all. the. time.  While waiting for print jobs,  while making coffee,  while heating up food. There I am,  so they talk to me- no matter how busy or b*tchy I am at that moment.
      So today a coworker is small talking to me while little baby is practicing karate. Coworker is watching my belly moving and says "that's really gross."   This really ticked me off. I have a VERY active baby and I think it's really cool that anyone can see the baby moving.  Basically just shut your mouth, jerkface.




    My coworker who has never had a child, said to another coworker in front of me, "Pregnant bellies DISGUST ME. If I saw a pregnant woman on the beach with a bikini on, I'd have to tell her to cover that up. And don't even get me started on when their belly buttons poke out. It's just disgusting."

    Coming from the middle aged woman with an umbilical HERNIA!
    In both of your cases, I would have responded with "oh yeah? So's your face."
    @khochanadel for the win!!
  • Pregghers said:
    I work in a cubicle farm and the location of my cube results in people chatting with me all. the. time.  While waiting for print jobs,  while making coffee,  while heating up food. There I am,  so they talk to me- no matter how busy or b*tchy I am at that moment.
      So today a coworker is small talking to me while little baby is practicing karate. Coworker is watching my belly moving and says "that's really gross."   This really ticked me off. I have a VERY active baby and I think it's really cool that anyone can see the baby moving.  Basically just shut your mouth, jerkface.




    My coworker who has never had a child, said to another coworker in front of me, "Pregnant bellies DISGUST ME. If I saw a pregnant woman on the beach with a bikini on, I'd have to tell her to cover that up. And don't even get me started on when their belly buttons poke out. It's just disgusting."

    Coming from the middle aged woman with an umbilical HERNIA!
    In both of your cases, I would have responded with "oh yeah? So's your face."
    Lol. I'll remember that for next time. I thought about saying "Well I invited the baby to be here- can't say the same about you."
  • JoMunson said:
    "So, do you have a plan for losing the weight?"
    hold my earrings. I'm going in.
    Oh hell no... heads are full of calories. I wouldn't recommend biting one off if weight loss is your plan. 
    Oh shit, didn't think of the calories in a head! How many calories could I burn if I just smacked a bitch?
  • salbbsalbb member
    My favourites from yesterday
    'you're def pregnant now' uhhh yup for last 35 weeks... 
    'So this is the point where you're really going to fill out' just nice !!!
    I actually have (thankfully) at 35 weeks come to terms with fact me and baby are fine and I no longer care about dumb asses.
     Took me a while but yup I no longer care what anyone aside from me and medical people think, full stop!! Waddling all the way to the ice cream
     :-) calcium right?! 

  • JoMunson said:
    "So, do you have a plan for losing the weight?"
    hold my earrings. I'm going in.
    Meth. 
    Oh yeah! Those ladies always look great
  • Last night we had dinner with DH's family including little sister and fiancée. (30&25 but act about 14). SIL treats me now as an incubator greeting and saying good bye to the baby and then most times as well to me as an after thought. At dinner she asked what her man child of a fiancée was looking at everyone looks at him and I realize he is just staring at my bump. Creepy dude! 
  • Annoying lady in church choir: Oh wow! You are definitely not going to make it to the end of the week. You can tell in your face.

    I'll tell you what will be in your face in 2 seconds if you don't shut your mouth! Apparently, my uterus isn't the only thing that is feeling super irritable lately...

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  • Annoying lady in church choir: Oh wow! You are definitely not going to make it to the end of the week. You can tell in your face.

    I'll tell you what will be in your face in 2 seconds if you don't shut your mouth! Apparently, my uterus isn't the only thing that is feeling super irritable lately...


    ***QBF*****

    Yes. I know people generally mean well when they say things like this, but it's getting very frustrating. Until I'm past the point in which labor would most certainly guarantee NICU time, I'm not going to be happy when people say things like, "Maybe we'll see you at work tomorrow-- if you haven't had that baby yet! I thought you'd pop yesterday for sure!"
  • @That1didntcount LOL!! I need to remember that answer if anyone ever dares ask me about my weight loss plan. Too funny.

    Image result for green dog

    Me: 30 DH: 32
    BFP #1: 9/12/2015
    DD: 6/1/2016
    BFP #2: 1/16/2018 MC 2/2/2018
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