I was very happy for two of my co-workers, one of whom was a bit of an advisor for me once I found out my news and helped me with a bunch of early pregnant stuff. And she told me afterward that she has fibroids and thought it would take her much longer, so you never know what someone else's journey was.
There were only two times when I was struggling where I got upset by someone else's announcement, once was a cousin who has no job, and was not ready to be a parent, and the other one was a relative whose teenage daughter became pregnant by a married man. It just seemed so unfair to me that people who were so unprepared could get pregnant so easily while I struggled. Not my most gracious feelings, but that's what it was.
I was on both sides of this fence. I went out of my way to let people know that I was ok and coukd be happy for them, but I also made sure to tell others in our lives in person as we saw them or talked to them. The only big announcement we did with #1 was her name and due date. We may not even say anything about #2 because they're so close in age and I just don't want to hear about it. There is one couple we will tell, because I don't want them to hear it anywhere else. Otherwise we won't really talk about it anyway until #2 gets here.
I'm literally the last person I know who wants/plans to have kids and hasn't yet had them who isn't at least out of the first trimester. Most of my friends are older than me and have their first academic or government jobs last year or the year before and they had babies in the past year. I had a lot of friends who did struggle at first (one who had multiple losses but just had a perfect baby girl a week ago) but now I am playing catch up, so, thankfully, I am not all that concerned about my close circle needing a special reach out. So far, I've told my two closest friends only. They are so important to me and both were there for me 100% during my miscarriage. I knew I would want them to know about my current pregnancy. We plan to do an announcement on fb if only because most of my family lives 8 hours or more away. If they lived closer we would tell them individually or have a get together. We will tell my parents after my dissertation defense in April and his at the same time (they live nearby). We will tell my sister and his siblings the same weekend. His kids won't find out until later when we have a good time to tell them. The other close family will find out at my graduation party in May.
If I knew a lot of people were struggling, I would reach out to them before and let them know and say I understood if they needed space. But I was that friend and now I don't know anyone struggling. Gah. It's hard because I hated seeing them but that hate was fleeting compared to my husband's friend's wife who is kind of a terrible parent and bitches about every damn thing about her son and current pregnancy despite them knowing about my MC.
I was on both sides of this fence. I went out of my way to let people know that I was ok and coukd be happy for them, but I also made sure to tell others in our lives in person as we saw them or talked to them. The only big announcement we did with #1 was her name and due date. We may not even say anything about #2 because they're so close in age and I just don't want to hear about it. There is one couple we will tell, because I don't want them to hear it anywhere else. Otherwise we won't really talk about it anyway until #2 gets here.
huh?
DX PCOS Jan 2012 IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014 Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
I'm kind of a nervous wreck. I wasn't able to get hold of my sister/BIL without other family members around and we are planning on announcing to my family tomorrow. I guess I could text her tonight or tomorrow before our Easter dinner but I don't even know what I'd put in a text like that. ugh.
I'm kind of a nervous wreck. I wasn't able to get hold of my sister/BIL without other family members around and we are planning on announcing to my family tomorrow. I guess I could text her tonight or tomorrow before our Easter dinner but I don't even know what I'd put in a text like that. ugh.
I would do it tonight that way she has time to process before your dinner.
I'm kind of a nervous wreck. I wasn't able to get hold of my sister/BIL without other family members around and we are planning on announcing to my family tomorrow. I guess I could text her tonight or tomorrow before our Easter dinner but I don't even know what I'd put in a text like that. ugh.
I would do it tonight that way she has time to process before your dinner.
I ended up texting her the news last night and she seemed really excited. And she acted really happy when she saw my daughter come around in her big sister shirt. She is such a wonderful person - I know i wouldn't be able to be like that.
Re: sensitivity while announcing
There were only two times when I was struggling where I got upset by someone else's announcement, once was a cousin who has no job, and was not ready to be a parent, and the other one was a relative whose teenage daughter became pregnant by a married man. It just seemed so unfair to me that people who were so unprepared could get pregnant so easily while I struggled. Not my most gracious feelings, but that's what it was.
If I knew a lot of people were struggling, I would reach out to them before and let them know and say I understood if they needed space. But I was that friend and now I don't know anyone struggling. Gah. It's hard because I hated seeing them but that hate was fleeting compared to my husband's friend's wife who is kind of a terrible parent and bitches about every damn thing about her son and current pregnancy despite them knowing about my MC.
IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
DD: 8/20/14; DS: 11/13/16; DD: 5/3/19; DD: 8/31/21; Baby #5 (team green) due 3/24/24
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019DD: 8/20/14; DS: 11/13/16; DD: 5/3/19; DD: 8/31/21; Baby #5 (team green) due 3/24/24