For all you moms out there, pending your second child.... are you planning on having a baby shower? I have mixed thoughts. My little boy turned 5 in December so it has been quite a long time now and I did lose a lot of my baby stuff to a flood in the basement. Plus the father to be is a new father, with nothing and no idea of what is to come. But I am still hesitant to have a baby shower despite all those reasons. I heard you were perfectly expected to even though it was your second child. It was only with the 3rd, that it would be known as the "baby sprinkle".
What are anyone's thoughts?
Re: Baby Shower with your second child
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
Maybe you could also have a diaper party for your SO and his friends? Like a BBQ/cookout where his friends bring a six pack and a pack of diapers/wipes. I think men sometimes have those instead of attending the shower, since they are more clueless, and you could really stock up on diapers/wipes. I don't think there are etiquette rules associated with those either.
Especially given the age difference, I'd expect a shower for #2 if I was your friend!
My SIL has told me more than once she hopes I have a boy this time so she can throw me a sprinkle. I decided that I'd rather she didn't throw one. I'm waiting to find out the sex before I say anything to her, since this may be moot, but I just had a baby shower less than two years ago and asking my family/friends to another one feels weird to me. I'm the first one in my family/circle of friends to be having a second child, so there isn't a norm of how it's done for us to refer to. I wouldn't be as reluctant if I knew people were expecting me to have one.
Regardless of etiquette though, if someone wants to throw one. ehh why not.
I understand it sucks if you got rid of/lost baby items, or if your babies are many years apart, but that's no reason to break etiquette. It seems very gift-grabby and entitled to me, regardless of the reason for wanting another shower.
FORMER USERNAME: @runningisrad
My friends are trying to throw a little something for me and I am totally opposed to it. My kids will be 4.5 years apart and at this point we don't know if it's another girl or not.
I figure that the people who matter most and want to gift me something for this baby will do it whether I have a shower or not.
In my group, we've had quite a few sprinkles for second time moms, but normally only if it's a different gender. Never for a 3+ time mom. The sprinkles are normally very small and low key (not hosted by the mom), less than 10 people, and all close friends.
All this aside, I completely agree with the person who said this depends on your friend group.
If someone asked to throw me a shower, I would personally politely decline. A lot of people will give gifts for a second baby after his/her arrival anyway. (I always send several boxes of baby wipes because it's one think they're sure to need.) In the mean time I've already scored a free swing and another pack n play through mom swap facebook groups.
In your particular case though I see it is your husband's first. This is one of the only instances where I see a second shower as not tacky. In that case I would only have one if someone from his side decided to host one and I would not invite anyone who would have been invited to previous baby showers for you aside from your mother and maybe sisters.
Edit to add: I have never heard of a sip and see so I had to look it up, I love the idea and will be doing it.
- full on shower for baby #1
- Sprinkle for baby #2 (it was the same sex as baby #1)
- Shower for baby #3 (this time it's a girl)
Regardless of if this baby is the same sex as my LO i'd really like to have a shower/sprinkle/party whatever you want to call it just to celebrate this baby as well. I don't need a lot of things because my kids will be very close in age, but i guess i just want an excuse to see friends and family and celebrate!I am going to sort of have a shower for this baby(my 4th), but only because we're going to be in Massachusetts where my husband's family lives. DH's cousin and I are planning it together, mainly because we want to have a day to spend with the family. It'll be very small, less than 20 people. We're not calling it a shower, it's a gender reveal party. Pretty much all that we're doing that involves the baby is the cupcakes with pink or blue inside of them. Other than that, it's just a barbecue. There won't be formal invitations, probably just call people and tell them to come. We also don't want gifts, as we'd have to haul everything back to Montana with us.
If someone is offering to throw you a shower, have the shower. The age gap between your kids is enough where I wouldn't think twice if I were invited. If you find out baby is the opposite gender then there is even another pointer telling you to have the shower.
I didn't with my second because I had a second boy and they were only 3 years apart. Plus they are both August birthdays so all the clothes are even the right sizes for the right seasons. This time I don't think I will either just because we still have everything. If we have a girl we'll need to get some clothes that don't say "Daddy's MVP" or "Chicks Dig Me". Other than that we still have all our big ticket items.
I also don't understand the expectation of replacing things that you've donated or thrown away. I wouldn't expect my bridesmaids to throw me another shower to replace the items that have broken since my wedding. Even if it's another gender, it's the parents' responsibility to register or buy things that are gender neutral if they plan to have more kids.
Clomid 150mg 2 follicles, BFP 7/4/15, EDD 3/12/16, CP 7/7/15
Clomid 150mg, 2 follicles, IUI BFN
Natural Cycle, BFP 12/28/15, EDD 9/3/16
Truth be told, I personally hate being the center of a celebration. I mentally pushed through my wedding, showers, 1st baby shower, and all that as I know those are things to celebrate and experience. With this pregnancy, I'd honestly prefer not to have a shower but I kinda feel bad not celebrating #2 the way we did #1. I've already heard #2s get less of everything then #1 and I'd rather at least attempt to maintain a sense of the same excitement and celebration as the first.
That being said, I've never heard of throwing your own; however I live around a lot of family. I think I can remember a friend or two who doesn't have family nearby throwing their own. I obviously didn't think much of it.
DS1: 10/2005 DS2: 01/2007 DS3: 09/2010
@PSUBecky23 - have you ever been to JuJuMonkey? They sell cloth diapers and also do a newborn cloth rental. I ended up using newborn cloth with my son since he came 6 weeks early and was obviously much smaller than I anticipated and loved Blueberry Newborn Simplex. I am in the process of doubling my newborn stash for 2.0 (I only had 12 because I wasn't sure if I'd like cloth or not and still do it so I plan on doing it with the next one!)