Getting my mind around IVF - question? (saifw)

stepgirl21

For those of you who have done IVF or who are currently in the process of IVF - What went through your mind with regards to coming to terms with "wow, I'm so reproductively challenged that I need to take the huge step of IVF". How did you deal with getting used to the idea of spending tens of thousands of dollars, sticking yourself with needles, thinking through all the of the eithical issues and knowing there is no guarantee?

I am starting to get ready for my IVF#1 this fall and I'm just now kind of going through all these feelings. My RE is giving me great odds that it will work for me and I know if my heart it is the right thing for me and H at this point but its overwhelming. Its like IVF is always something that other people had to do to get pg not me.  

JackieMac824

I am doing IVF in the fall too - and all I keep thinking is that it will be so worth it in the end if we end up with the family we want.  Also that I have come this far - I can go a little further to make my dreams come true.

Best of luck to you with your IVF - maybe we will cycle together.

caden

I guess I didn't really consider that feeling very often b/c I figured we'd need IVF from the getgo. It's either do this or give up on my dream of giving birth to a child - which at this moment is way more difficult for me to consider than the IVF process.

schoolsoutbride

I wrote about this in my blog a bit.  I'm not 100% to terms with it, honestly.  I'm pretty bitter and angry that we have to do all of this (any of us) to get PG when others just, you know, have sex.  

The ethical issues aren't a concern for me.  I'm happy to donate leftover embies to research (my Dad has Parkinson's).  

Genetically it worries me a little.  Like am I passing on something I shouldn't be by forcing the issue?  Is this nature's way of telling me I shouldn't have another kid?

The needles so far aren't bad (but I haven't done the big guns yet), and i figure they're short term in a lifetime of having a kid, and certainly less painful than labor and delivery.

The sticker shock is a HUGE part of this.  If I had coverage, I think it would be an easier decision. 

ETA: Economically, I figure it costs about the same as a new car, and I'd WAY rather have another baby than a new car. I'll ride my bike if it makes a difference.  I'm still bitter about it, but that helps. 

Echloe

I tried not to think to much about it.  I did however feel blessed that this technology was available to me and that I didn't live back in the 50s where they would have told me nothing could be done.  I looked at it as my chance to do something I medically otherwise would not be able to do.  I'm a catholic and threw ethics to the side.  I wanted to be a mother more than anything.  This thinking got me past the $$$, the needles, and everything.  

I'm glad your RE is giving you good odds of this working.  IF you really need to process this in your head, maybe talk to a counselor who deals specifically with IF patients.  It may help.  But ultimately this is up to you and your DH.  You don't have to do it. 

mel72

Our desire to be parents outweighed any other factors.  Luckily we are good at saving money, needles don't bother us and we were both employed (at the time) and had a limited amount of insurance coverage.  I will tell you the hardest part for us was that there were no guarantees even though RE insisted we have pretty good odds.  It sounds like you are ready and it can be overwhelming, just take it one step at a time.  GOOD LUCK!! 

krissyh21

I don't think you ever come to terms with it. Even now that the 3rd one worked for me, I am a bitter betty that it took this much time and money for it to happen.

I never had ethical reasons, I feel strongly that this is what was meant to be and science made it all possible. If we had left overs, we would want further research to be done. 

Getting through the shots to the actual procedure itself was a day by day thing. Before doing my first IVF I was a nervous wreck. Hate needles, hate doctors, never been placed under anesthesia. But then you take it day by day and hours by hour and the cycle moves pretty fast once you are in it... THe ups and downs emotionally suck, but everything spread out in days is not as bad as imagining going in. Plus that four letter word of HOPE is a wonderful thing!!!

Good luck! 

outofcntrl82

I never thought in a million years that I would have to do IVF. I ovulate regularly, no known health issues and my 2 older sisters have had each 3 healthy kids so I figured it would be easy enough for me.

2 failed pregnancies later due to chromosomal issues, My RE gave me the choice of trying again on my own or doing IVF with PGD. I was terrified of the needles, the financial risk and all the time, energy and emotional effort involved. But my desire to have a baby is so strong, that I sucked it up and took the plunge.

THe point is, there will always be risks in whatever you do. It is so tough but if  your RE says your chances are good- I would go for it!!!

I wish you luck and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask anytime!!

LCB34

caden:

It's either do this or give up on my dream of giving birth to a child - which at this moment is way more difficult for me to consider than the IVF process.

These were my feelings exactly!  Having a child means so much more to mean than any fears/ questioning I ever had about IVF.

cheekyali

The $ part obviously sucks if you are OOP, but once you are in the cycle, you take everything day by day and try not to get too ahead of yourself. And just like IUI seemed like "why do i have to do this" and then it wasn't THAT big of a deal, you will feel somewhat the same once you start the process.

stepgirl21

LCB34:

caden:

It's either do this or give up on my dream of giving birth to a child - which at this moment is way more difficult for me to consider than the IVF process.

These were my feelings exactly!  Having a child means so much more to mean than any fears/ questioning I ever had about IVF.

Yes, I think ultimately this is what is comes down to for most of us.  I think this way too but just all the other feelings that go along with this can be overwhelming. I think taking things just one day at a time is very good advice.

terraflora

Honestly I never got my mind around it and it is still so hard for me to believe I am doing it.  When I went to the needle injection class I got so overwhelmed and thought I DO NOT want to do this.  I just wanted to say no. But I couldn't because I feel like it is the only way to get a baby. So I just put my head down and plunged into it. That is literally how I feel - like I don't really even have a choice (since I want biological children).  So I am just gritting my teeth and bearing it.  I hate it, but it will be worth it.

Hopefully you'll feel more positive about it than I do!

k8enewlywed

Hi! We converted an IUI cycle to IVF. It was a really hard thing for me to wrap my head around. It seemed so scary and fast. The odds with IUI we were given were 12% and with IVF 60%. That helped. It was a long and painful process for us emotionally, money wise, and physically. BUT! As you can see we only did one round and only transferred one embryo ?

I had all the feeling you are taking about.... especially the other people part, but in the end it's being pg not the process it takes.?

?GL I hope that it will be successful for you !?

yodasmistress

We TTC for over 3 years before starting our first IVF.  I came to accept IVF as a required step for us gradually as the months wore on.

Imanurse03

Hi there!  I am actually just going through this.  I'm currently on BCP for IVF # 1 and will prob start Lupron on Fri.  I am still in disbelief that we will be doing IVF.  I don't think it will set in until ER. 

It was such a hard decision to move to IVF.  From the beginning, we said we'd never ever do IVF (because of cost).  And back when I first saw an RE a year and a half ago, I never thought we'd have to come to IVF.  But here we are!  We said we'd rather spend that money on adoption.  We did 3 cycles of Clomid/IUI and 3 cycles of injectables/IUI and I got pg 2x with Clomid/IUI and injectables/IUI.  They then found I had 3 clotting disorders which are being treated.  We started seeing a new RE in April and he has been optimistic that I will be able to get pg and stay pg.  I also couldn't justify paying over $2k OOP every cycle on injectables/IUI when it only carries a 25% or so chance of success. 

We just aren't ready to adopt and I just have this yearning to have a baby of my own.  And RE seems to think we should have no problem.  In fact we were approved for shared risk so he really must think we'll be ok.  

Good luck to you.  It is such a hard decision!