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1st Trimester
Stickybaby2016
member
What's up with dumb doctors and nurses???
Stickybaby2016
member
maybe it's hormones.
maybe it's because I'm a super private person and hate doctors because they pry and ask tmi.
yesterday a PA in my Drs office asked me "were you practicing birth control?" And I figured this was something new, because they have never asked me this before but, I thought, well, I could see where if you HAD been on something like the pill it could cause problems in early pregnancy. So I said "no"
and then she says "after 5 kids why not?"
oh let me count the ways...
so I told her, one, I don't think pumping ones body of chemicals and false hormones is healthy (no offense to those who have practiced birth control in the past) two, because we wanted another baby, and normally if you are TTC you don't take birth control (just my opinion, pregnancy seems to be more likely when your not taking anything to prevent it!)
and finally because birth control causes weight gain.
and then she said...
"now you'll be fat because of a baby."
needless to say, Eric finally stood up and took care of her for me. This lady should not work in a doctors office. It's not like I'm a 15 year old pregnant girl, I don't need a lecture, I'm 34 and I'm pretty sure I'm well enough into adulthood to make my own choices.
Whats up with doctors these days?! Keep your opinions to yourselves! Think they forget that we are still the customer. We do pay for their services. Eric was disgusted with her and told her "I own my own construction company, I don't butt into my clients lives like that and it's really none of your damn business!" Then he reported her to the offices human resources lady (he built her house about 6 years ago, this was back when we were expecting baby #3 and had a home birth!)
maybe it's because I'm a super private person and hate doctors because they pry and ask tmi.
yesterday a PA in my Drs office asked me "were you practicing birth control?" And I figured this was something new, because they have never asked me this before but, I thought, well, I could see where if you HAD been on something like the pill it could cause problems in early pregnancy. So I said "no"
and then she says "after 5 kids why not?"
oh let me count the ways...
so I told her, one, I don't think pumping ones body of chemicals and false hormones is healthy (no offense to those who have practiced birth control in the past) two, because we wanted another baby, and normally if you are TTC you don't take birth control (just my opinion, pregnancy seems to be more likely when your not taking anything to prevent it!)
and finally because birth control causes weight gain.
and then she said...
"now you'll be fat because of a baby."
needless to say, Eric finally stood up and took care of her for me. This lady should not work in a doctors office. It's not like I'm a 15 year old pregnant girl, I don't need a lecture, I'm 34 and I'm pretty sure I'm well enough into adulthood to make my own choices.
Whats up with doctors these days?! Keep your opinions to yourselves! Think they forget that we are still the customer. We do pay for their services. Eric was disgusted with her and told her "I own my own construction company, I don't butt into my clients lives like that and it's really none of your damn business!" Then he reported her to the offices human resources lady (he built her house about 6 years ago, this was back when we were expecting baby #3 and had a home birth!)
Re: What's up with dumb doctors and nurses???
OP, I'm sorry you had to experience that. I would definitely make sure the complaint is heard and I would also make sure to never have to be seen by her again.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
That being said, birth control doesn't destroy your body. At all.
both my opinion and intuition tell me, there's nothing healthy about blocking your body's natural processes with chemicals and unnatural hormones. Jmo...
ill stick to my belief of use it or loose it ☺️
Second of all, science is NOT an opinion. It's fact based research and repeated trials. In all sincerity, good luck on this board since most of don't go by intuition or opinions. The general population of TB tends to lean heavily on FACT based science.
Eta: I agree that you experienced inappropriate commentary but you also sound pretty defensive over a simple question.
But I have to say BC not destroy your body. Yes like any other drug there are risks to side effects and everyone experiences them differently. I used it to help preserve my fertility due to endo. If I didn't I probably wouldn't be here. I didn't gain weight or have any bad side effects. Heck I wish my boobs would of at least grown a bit. Everyone's experience and reasoning is different. I also had to use progesterone to help support this pregnancy - that's a hormone. Didn't distroy my body but dealt with minor side effects so I can have this beautiful life growing inside me. Your comment might not go well with those struggling Infertility, just saying.
I hope that you don't have to go through this type experience again with this doc or maybe worth finding one that you like and feel more comfortable with.
I suggest that if you would like to receive support on this forum that you mind what you say and how you say it.
2. I don't see anywhere that warranted you calling nurses dumb or insulting nurses. I suggest retracting that statement.
3. BC does not "destroy your body". If it did, it wouldn't be approved by the FDA. If it did, it wouldn't be widely used. Maybe that's your "opinion", but that's all it is. An opinion. The FACTS and SCIENCE clearly say otherwise. If you don't feel like educating yourself, so be it - but don't spread that crap around.
4. No, her conduct and comments on getting fat because of a pregnancy was not warranted, and yes it should have been reported -- however, nothing else that I saw was not necessary. However, I wasn't there and don't know what truly went on.
Also - to those who've had doctors/nurses ask if they were going to keep their baby (or any variation) when asking for an appt after a confirmed HPT; it's because they need to know what the appointment is for. Is it for a pregnancy check-up, to confirm the pregnancy with a blood test and talk about the next months? Or is it to terminate the pregnancy? That's two entirely different situations, and two entirely different time-slots. When an appointment is made, a note is put in for why the appointment was made. Whether that's a physical, shots, a consultation... whatever - they need to know what the appointment is really for so that when you're called back they know what they're supposed to be doing.
It's really not that odd of a question. It honestly baffles me that people would get up in arms over it. It's not like they flat out accused you of wanting an abortion - they just needed to know if you were having a prenatal visit, or a termination visit.
Just my .02
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
i had two losses due to my thyroid going crazy after I conceived and I needed clomid to ovulate properly.
sorry youre "too good" for medication. I hope you're cleaning your home with only vinegar, using henna to dye your hair, and bathing in baking soda paste or else you're putting chemicals into your body anyway.
quit being condescending, it isn't a good look.
Also, OP they asked if you were practicing BC, NOT if you were taking BCPs. Practicing birth control could mean condoms, diaphragms, or even avoiding during your FW. And it's a valid question for them to ask. So I think you need to relax a bit. Her response back was uncalled for but not enough to warrant this. Also, the hormones in pills aren't unnatural. They are the same hormones produced by your body when you're pregnant, tricking the body into thinking you're pregnant so you don't ovulate. So if you're concerned about "unnatural hormones," hate to tell you they're in your body already.
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
"The bump never forgets."
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
RE DX for me: Anovulatory cycles/Mild PCOS RE DX for DW: Endometrioma on left Ovary.
Reciprocal Ivf Feb 2016. DW eggs and I am carrying. EDD: 10/27/16
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Also, BCP is synthetic hormones. With out it, I would not be pregnant nor stay pregnant. Just because you don't like them does not mean the are 'wrong'.
Personally, I am feeling that you have no tact.
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
**TW: Abuse**
there also might be certain ways you could answer the question that would raise concerns about abuse and make them want to follow up with you for your own well being.
**end TW**
A doctor can and should put their nose into your personal life WAY more than a construction company owner should (if that's even what your DH does. If you're even who you say you are...).
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
However , I think your wording in your title isn't at all appropriate . Someone isn't "dumb" just because they may not have the best bedside manner . Both doctors and nurses have been through enough schooling and training and I highly doubt they are dumb as you say . They both work their asses off . Please don't group them into a stereotype just because you had a bad experience . They are doing their best to help their patients and maybe their approach at obtaining information wasn't the best . Still , that is your opinion . I have had doctors that I haven't been able to stand while friends have loved them and vice versa . Your mood and philosophies on things could have impacted your reaction to the doctor's questions . That's ok ! If you don't like their bedside manner go somewhere else . You have every right to take your business elsewhere and I would if I were you . I'm sure you have plenty of options .
And as others have mentioned I do find your remarks about hormone pills offensive . As someone who struggles with infertility , I rely on hormone pills to attempt to get pregnant . Many women require progesterone and estrogen pills to avoid pregnancy loss . I respect your personal choice not to use bcp . I'm not a huge fan of bcp myself but don't act so judgmental .
**BFP and loss warning**
I'm really confused as to why you decided to call nurses dumb even though there wasn't a single mention of a nurse being rude to you in your story.
**Going back to lurking now, just needed to stand up for my people!**
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: August 2014
TTC #1 Since March 2015
Diagnosed with PCOS March 2016
SA results normal April 2016
3 rounds clomid + trigger + TI = BFN
3 rounds clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN
Uterine polyp removed July 2017
Round 1 IVF January 2018
Yes she also called her dumb and talked about punching her in the face . Can't blame her words on "pregnancy hormones " .
**BFP and loss warning**
Oh Wow! Couldn't resist checking that out.
**BFP and loss warning**
On to the comments made. I walked into my confirmation appointment really stressed out because I am terrified of needles. The tech who was doing the draw took a combination of the fact that I look about 16 years old and was stressed as an indication that I didn't want to keep the pregnancy and started talking about how there were options if the test was positive and it would all work out in the end. Did I take offense? Heck no. Had I wanted to be there for that reason, I would have been glad that they were up front about such things. Once she talked to me a bit, she realized she was wrong in her assumption and changed to a more excited tone regarding pregnancy.
I think you're being way overly sensitive and, while the comment about weight may have been out of line, they're doctors specializing in reproduction, they're GOING to ask about your reproductive habits. That's their job.
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!