I mean, can't someone post bail for me? I'm lot a flight risk...
I know this is serious and completely unjustified and I'm in agreement that there is a lot of inequality in who the admins warn and ban. (Not that I feel that will ever be changed in our favor but that's a whole different thing)
But also, Like, seriously? Jail? Who decided this would be a good idea? Like I can just imagine a bunch of grown women in a room saying "it's not good enough to just send them a message saying they're on probation and the terms of that probation. No, let's put fake bars over her profile picture and tell her she's in jail. That'll let them know we mean business"
I just cant even with this jail thing.
It's a lot of things I won't say, because I don't want to be denied parol and elongate my sentence. Or put in solitary confinement.
Are we accessories?
I'm sad to say that the first thing that went through my mind was "Ooo I love accessories!" And then I realized you meant to a crime. Doh.
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
Ah. I saw it in the wtf. Didn't know she posted it here too. I can't quite figure out the subjective-ness they use with this warnings and bannings sometimes. Like why was @Everycol0r put in jail (it sounds ridiculous even just typing it) but @NovaSaysNo was banned. What's the actual rules there? I'm certainly glad @Everycol0r wasn't banned but why didn't @novasaysno get put in jail?
TTC1: May 2015
Primary IF May 2016; Failed HSG; Scheduled Lap Sept. 2016
Whoa. Just caught up on this thread. I gotta say, I love the hell outta you TTGP ladies and I wouldn't trade our "SNARK" for ANYTHING (newsflash--life without snark is BORING). I have only been active on these boards for the past month or so and I have come to depend on posting every day, catching up with you all, and being thankful for the amazing amount of support received from people I have never met. Good for y'all for standing up for what is right, it makes me so proud to be a part of this TTGP community! Love you all!
TTC January 2016 BFP May 17, 2016 DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
Looks like the ban hammer is going around again... another inconsistency is that sometimes we go a period where it seems like people can get away with murder, then all of a sudden they go around banninating like crazy. Looks like we're moving into the latter.
And this, folks, is why people have AEs.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Ah. I saw it in the wtf. Didn't know she posted it here too. I can't quite figure out the subjective-ness they use with this warnings and bannings sometimes. Like why was @Everycol0r put in jail (it sounds ridiculous even just typing it) but @NovaSaysNo was banned. What's the actual rules there? I'm certainly glad @Everycol0r wasn't banned but why didn't @novasaysno get put in jail?
That's a good question. And I was jailed with a 3rd warning but it was incorrectly labeled. Should have been my first. I saw she had 3-4 TOU violations so maybe if you get a 4th warning that's a ban? Although I think the TOU says 3. Not sure.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
@NovaSaysNo Nooooo! I didn't want to wake up to the ban hammer this morning
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: August 2014 TTC #1 Since March 2015 Diagnosed with PCOS March 2016 SA results normal April 2016 3 rounds clomid + trigger + TI = BFN 3 rounds clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN Uterine polyp removed July 2017 Round 1 IVF January 2018
Just FYI to anyone who was hurt by my comment that, "Hopefully all of those "regulars" have forgotten about it by the next time I'm TTGP." .... What I MEANT is that we're planning on TTC again in 2-3 years, so many of you could be here on TTGP AGAIN (not still), or that you could be on The Bump and still "lurking/updating" on TTGP. My understanding is that people can participate on TB whether they're pregnant, TTGP, or already have a baby and not TTC anymore. As it is the internet, and people can do whatever TF they want.
Some of you were also upset with the comments of another poster on the PGAL board which said, "I totally get that the long-term posters on that board have good reason to be bitter, but it is really unkind to take it out on others." You called that person out for assuming that people are bitter because they're TTGP, and informed her that she should consider that people TTC for a long time for such a large number of reasons. I agree with you, and I'm sorry if those comments hurt or offended you. Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
Last thing - I have apologized COUNTLESS times for my post back in November (I think that's when it was) which asked about sex frequency and pissed a lot of you off because it was such a naive question/post. I won't update on these Grad Check-Ins anymore, but I'll say again - I AM SORRY. No, I do NOT think that "having all the sex" will lead to pregnancy for people with infertility issues. No, I am not under the impression that I'm "better" than anyone here, or anyone in general. And for the last time, I ONLY brought up my house because someone else told me, "I would have time for that much sex, except I actually have a house to clean and kids to care for" so I responded by essentially telling them that I, too, have a house to clean and kids at home. I feel like some of you think I just randomly posted about my life/house/whatever just to brag - THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION and I'm sorry if stating the square footage of my house or the frequency of my BD sessions hurt your feelings or pissed you off or made you feel attacked. Seriously, it was not my intention - hurting peoples' feelings is NEVER my intention.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
2 Laps and 1 Abdominal Myomectomy 6 rounds of clomid 5 rounds of iui Several HSG's sprinkled throughout the years to up my chances of a BFP Several dilation of cervix because they suspect the scar tissue is hindering it from fully opening (partially adds to the severe cramps all month) IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide ER 12/1/2016
ER-Retrieved 22 eggs 10 fertilized 4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls FET 1/10/2017 Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017 FET estimated end of Feb, beginning of March
Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
**Snip**
If you don't intend to hurt any one, then you had better make sure you word your posts in a way that isn't offensive or hurtful. The term bitter is always hurtful, just as calling someone a B**ch is usually hurtful. Being mindful of your audience is a large part of not being hurtful, especially since with a post or comment we are unable to see your tone.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Mama to two perfect little girls. Lucy 07-13-11 Violet 03-13-14 Conceived #3 since September 2015 11-25-15 twelve week loss 07-21-16 ten week loss 10-03-16 5 week loss TTC again soon!
Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
**Snip**
If you don't intend to hurt any one, then you had better make sure you word your posts in a way that isn't offensive or hurtful. The term bitter is always hurtful, just as calling someone a B**ch is usually hurtful. Being mindful of your audience is a large part of not being hurtful, especially since with a post or comment we are unable to see your tone.
This.
And this truly seems to be what I continue to see from you @1faceinacrowd. Not just the post from November about frequency of BDing, but multiple times on TB, you don't seem stop and take time to consider that your experience and life is not everyone else's. And then you end up saying things that offend people and get super defensive when you're called out on it. It just makes you look like you don't have a lot of empathy (I am not saying you don't have it, just how it comes across here). Maybe just stop a moment and step in other people's shoes and look around a bit. It doesn't seem like rocket science that being called bitter or that what, on face value, looks like you're hoping people are still TTC in a few years, might offend people. I say this only because you seem truly mysitified by why you're rubbing people the wrong way, and this is a large part of it.
Some of you were also upset with the comments of another poster on the PGAL board which said, "I totally get that the long-term posters on that board have good reason to be bitter, but it is really unkind to take it out on others." You called that person out for assuming that people are bitter because they're TTGP, and informed her that she should consider that people TTC for a long time for such a large number of reasons. I agree with you, and I'm sorry if those comments hurt or offended you. Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
Some of you were also upset with the comments of another poster on the PGAL board which said, "I totally get that the long-term posters on that board have good reason to be bitter, but it is really unkind to take it out on others." You called that person out for assuming that people are bitter because they're TTGP, and informed her that she should consider that people TTC for a long time for such a large number of reasons. I agree with you, and I'm sorry if those comments hurt or offended you. Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
@1faceinacrowd If you agreed with our reaction, why did you love tit her post?
About me: TTC#1: October 2015 dx: PCOS & MFI IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP July 2016: Blighted Ovum IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN FET February 2017 ~BFN IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17 Team Blue X 2!
Some of you were also upset with the comments of another poster on the PGAL board which said, "I totally get that the long-term posters on that board have good reason to be bitter, but it is really unkind to take it out on others." You called that person out for assuming that people are bitter because they're TTGP, and informed her that she should consider that people TTC for a long time for such a large number of reasons. I agree with you, and I'm sorry if those comments hurt or offended you. Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
@1faceinacrowd If you agreed with our reaction, why did you love tit her post?
And to that point, can you explain exactly why the longterm bitterness accusation SHOULDN'T have been taken offensively?
Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
**Snip**
If you don't intend to hurt any one, then you had better make sure you word your posts in a way that isn't offensive or hurtful. The term bitter is always hurtful, just as calling someone a B**ch is usually hurtful. Being mindful of your audience is a large part of not being hurtful, especially since with a post or comment we are unable to see your tone.
This.
And this truly seems to be what I continue to see from you @1faceinacrowd. Not just the post from November about frequency of BDing, but multiple times on TB, you don't seem stop and take time to consider that your experience and life is not everyone else's. And then you end up saying things that offend people and get super defensive when you're called out on it. It just makes you look like you don't have a lot of empathy (I am not saying you don't have it, just how it comes across here). Maybe just stop a moment and step in other people's shoes and look around a bit. It doesn't seem like rocket science that being called bitter or that what, on face value, looks like you're hoping people are still TTC in a few years, might offend people. I say this only because you seem truly mysitified by why you're rubbing people the wrong way, and this is a large part of it.
Can I just point out that I personally didn't call anyone bitter? That was another commenter. I'm not saying that what I said personally couldn't have been taken differently than I intended (which was that I hope people forget about this stuff by the next time I'm TTC), which is why I clarified that I only meant that people stay on TB long after their TTC journey, and many people TTC more than once, so a lot of the people who hate my guts right now could very well still be hanging around on TB in another 2 years, no matter where they are in their parenting/ttc journey.
I get what you're saying, @LoveIsOwlYouNeed. I don't always sit back and think about how people might interpret what I say; that's 100% on me. I came back to this thread because I wanted to explain what I meant, and I also wanted to apologize for it being poorly worded. I read and re-read my apology post before posting it on this thread. I honestly don't enjoy being hated by a community of people, even though it's online. IRL, it's a lot easier to read people, and I'm generally a much better verbal communicator than I am a written/online communicator. THIS is exactly why I prefer setting up meetings and talking face-to-face at work rather than e-mail. I'm WAY too straight-forward when typing and absolutely am better received when people can sit across from me and understand where I'm coming from. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best written communicator and that it IS my fault that people take what I say the wrong way. I try really, really hard to apologize whenever that happens, and I also admit that I get somewhat defensive because I'm NOT a bad/mean person and it feels like an attack on my character when people assume that I have malicious intent behind anything I'm saying. Again - I admit that it is MY fault when people misunderstand my intent, but it still upsets me sometimes nonetheless. And I feel so goddamn terrible for making people upset.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
@missteacherlady16 The bitter comment was not the only thing she said in her post, and while I agree with /understand people being upset about that one comment, I do not think she intended to hurt anyone's feelings.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
**Snip**
If you don't intend to hurt any one, then you had better make sure you word your posts in a way that isn't offensive or hurtful. The term bitter is always hurtful, just as calling someone a B**ch is usually hurtful. Being mindful of your audience is a large part of not being hurtful, especially since with a post or comment we are unable to see your tone.
This.
And this truly seems to be what I continue to see from you @1faceinacrowd. Not just the post from November about frequency of BDing, but multiple times on TB, you don't seem stop and take time to consider that your experience and life is not everyone else's. And then you end up saying things that offend people and get super defensive when you're called out on it. It just makes you look like you don't have a lot of empathy (I am not saying you don't have it, just how it comes across here). Maybe just stop a moment and step in other people's shoes and look around a bit. It doesn't seem like rocket science that being called bitter or that what, on face value, looks like you're hoping people are still TTC in a few years, might offend people. I say this only because you seem truly mysitified by why you're rubbing people the wrong way, and this is a large part of it.
Can I just point out that I personally didn't call anyone bitter? That was another commenter. I'm not saying that what I said personally couldn't have been taken differently than I intended (which was that I hope people forget about this stuff by the next time I'm TTC), which is why I clarified that I only meant that people stay on TB long after their TTC journey, and many people TTC more than once, so a lot of the people who hate my guts right now could very well still be hanging around on TB in another 2 years, no matter where they are in their parenting/ttc journey.
I get what you're saying, @LoveIsOwlYouNeed. I don't always sit back and think about how people might interpret what I say; that's 100% on me. I came back to this thread because I wanted to explain what I meant, and I also wanted to apologize for it being poorly worded. I read and re-read my apology post before posting it on this thread. I honestly don't enjoy being hated by a community of people, even though it's online. IRL, it's a lot easier to read people, and I'm generally a much better verbal communicator than I am a written/online communicator. THIS is exactly why I prefer setting up meetings and talking face-to-face at work rather than e-mail. I'm WAY too straight-forward when typing and absolutely am better received when people can sit across from me and understand where I'm coming from. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best written communicator and that it IS my fault that people take what I say the wrong way. I try really, really hard to apologize whenever that happens, and I also admit that I get somewhat defensive because I'm NOT a bad/mean person and it feels like an attack on my character when people assume that I have malicious intent behind anything I'm saying. Again - I admit that it is MY fault when people misunderstand my intent, but it still upsets me sometimes nonetheless. And I feel so goddamn terrible for making people upset.
Okay but if I were to say something ridiculous like "I think Donald Trump is the most ideal presidential candidate this country has seen in the last 50 years" and someone love titted it, I would be inclined to think that person AGREED with me.
So you liking someone's post that says all the longterm posters on TTGP are bitter and just say hurtful things to other people (specifically those that are pregnant) to deal with their own anger seems a lot like you AGREE with that person and do indeed think we are bitter even if you didn't say it in so many words.
@missteacherlady16 The bitter comment was not the only thing she said in her post, and while I agree with /understand people being upset about that one comment, I do not think she intended to hurt anyone's feelings.
@1faceinacrowd I know you didn't say the bitter comment, but you appear to have taken it upon yourself to apologize for, and to some extent, defend the comment. Though you say you understand why people might be upset, you are also continuing to say you don't think it was her intention and are trying, to some extent, to justify it, which is why I included it in my response.
Also, don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes that best thing to do in a situation like this is just walk away. Not doing so is another thing that isn't helping you. It's just something I've learned in life. If that not how you are in IRL, why is it so important to you what internet strangers think of you? Just make an effort moving forward and in the mean time, let it go.
ETA: I, for example, am going to walk away from this now, because I personally don't care for cyclical conversations and am ready to move on...
@missteacherlady16 Sure, I could see how someone might think that, because I "loved" her response, that it was me agreeing with every word of that response. Which is why I made a post here, to clarify my thoughts/opinions and where I stand. I can't respond to that thread anymore, or I'd say something there too. She said other things in her response, including providing support for my other statement/complaint within my post (which had nothing to do with this). And yeah, I probably didn't give much thought to the "bitterness" comment when I first read it (I don't know - I read it for the first time two days ago when it was posted, and that's when I hit the "love it" button).
But after reading all of the responses within that thread this morning, I re-read all of the comments made by myself and other posters within that thread, and I posted my thoughts/response/apology here.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
@smmatt08 I thanked her for her support because the second half of her comment - about my ex and daughter - was a kind and supportive comment.
As I mentioned above, I didn't give much thought to the "bitter" portion of her comment until this morning, when I got back on and read all of the responses, and went back and re-read what I and the other original commenters had said. That is the point when I realized that it wasn't a nice thing to say, and that I should apologize for my comments as well, since they were taken differently than I intended.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
Hey, the siggy theme this month is bunnies right? (On mobile, so I can't see anyones siggy, so sad) anyway, I was go ogling bunnies and just happened to see this bunny, and thought maybe someone could use it if they needed on for their siggy. I apologize for saying siggy so much.
I wish I could sit across the table from you, since you seem to think you understand better in person. That way you can SEE the pain from words like "I hope the "regulars" have forgotten". Because you can backpedal all you want, but by putting regulars in quotes, you seem to think we aren't real people, really trying to conceive, really hard. Had I gotten KU as quickly as you did when we started trying, I'd have a one year old right now and you don't know how often I think of that absent child and how my life would be different with the sounds of pidder padder and giggles. I wish I could quantify for you the pain of being called bitter by anyone. Put a face on it, because if you are as good at "in person communication" as you say, you would never ever agree with anyone saying anything like that again, even in passing.
I wish I could sit across the table from you, since you seem to think you understand better in person. That way you can SEE the pain from words like "I hope the "regulars" have forgotten". Because you can backpedal all you want, but by putting regulars in quotes, you seem to think we aren't real people, really trying to conceive, really hard. Had I gotten KU as quickly as you did when we started trying, I'd have a one year old right now and you don't know how often I think of that absent child and how my life would be different with the sounds of pidder padder and giggles. I wish I could quantify for you the pain of being called bitter by anyone. Put a face on it, because if you are as good at "in person communication" as you say, you would never ever agree with anyone saying anything like that again, even in passing.
Tagging @1faceinacrowd so that she sees this, hopefully understands that she was dead wrong, learns how to simply say "I'm sorry" (without trying to defend her actions...because come on, that's not a real apology) and just walk away.
I wish I could sit across the table from you, since you seem to think you understand better in person. That way you can SEE the pain from words like "I hope the "regulars" have forgotten". Because you can backpedal all you want, but by putting regulars in quotes, you seem to think we aren't real people, really trying to conceive, really hard. Had I gotten KU as quickly as you did when we started trying, I'd have a one year old right now and you don't know how often I think of that absent child and how my life would be different with the sounds of pidder padder and giggles. I wish I could quantify for you the pain of being called bitter by anyone. Put a face on it, because if you are as good at "in person communication" as you say, you would never ever agree with anyone saying anything like that again, even in passing.
@Lulucooks I am truly, sincerely sorry. If I were face-to-face with you right now, I'd probably go in for a hug, and I'd 100% accept a much-deserved slap in the face in return. I am sorry you're struggling, and even more sorry that I added to that pain.
Me: 25 DH: 28
Hubby's little boy - my wonderful step-son - born 5/23/10
BFP#1: 06/2010...my beautiful baby girl born 3/7/2011
BFP #2: 10/24/15...mc on 10/31/15
BFP #3: 11/27/15. EDD 8/6/16
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill
Mama to two perfect little girls. Lucy 07-13-11 Violet 03-13-14 Conceived #3 since September 2015 11-25-15 twelve week loss 07-21-16 ten week loss 10-03-16 5 week loss TTC again soon!
@1faceinacrowdI think the kindest thing you can do at this point is to keep your word.
If I were to dig myself so deep into a conflict that my mere presence was emotionally impacting a large group of people, I would take a step back, for the sake of everyone involved, and re-evaluate the situation logically.
I would recognise the fact that offering apologies/excuses for repeat offences doesn't mean I am owed instant forgiveness.
I would also recognise that concocting an imaginary scenario where I offer unsolicited physical affection to @Lulucooks, and am met with physical violence, is incredibly insulting and mischaracterises someone I don't even know.
I would have the maturity to see that my continued input is doing more harm than good.
I would take my lessons to heart, cut my losses, and walk away.
I would take care not repeat my mistakes future situations.
Probably not better in person. People are just less likely to tell you what they really think in person. Until the August 2016 thing, it's not that people had hurt feelings by you having a bigger house or having lots of sex. No one actually cares- it just sounds ridiculous to bring those things up on the context that you did.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Re: March '16 TTGP Grad Check-In!
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
TTGP February Siggy Challenge
Me: 28
DH: 29
Married: October 2012
TTC #1 since September 2015
Clomid round 1 starting: 4FEB2016 = No ovulationClomid round 2 starting: TBD... whenever AF decides to show up, or I have to take Provera again
3 Furbabies
Me:31 H:31
DX: MFI - 1% Morph
12/16 -IVF #1 - Antagonist Protocol w/ Lupron trigger
ER - 11 retrieved- 9 mature - 7 fertilized - 3 sent for PGS on day 5 - No normals (1 XXX Embryo - may use in future)
3/17 - IVF #2 - Antagonist Protocol w/ HCG trigger
ER- 13 retrieved - 11 mature - 8 fertilized - 2 sent for PGS on day 5 -2 Normal
FET #1 - 5/16/17 - BFP! - Beta #1 5/25 - 156 - Beta #2 5/30 - 2562 - Beta #3 6/1 - 5191!
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016
Married 9/27/14
TTC #1 since 8/15/15
BFP: 1/2/16, EDD 9/13/16 - MMC 2/10/16
BFP: 3/17, EDD 11/23/16
November 2016 April Siggy Challenge - April Showers
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
#dislike
TTC January 2016
BFP May 17, 2016
DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
Looks like the ban hammer is going around again... another inconsistency is that sometimes we go a period where it seems like people can get away with murder, then all of a sudden they go around banninating like crazy. Looks like we're moving into the latter.
And this, folks, is why people have AEs.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: August 2014
TTC #1 Since March 2015
Diagnosed with PCOS March 2016
SA results normal April 2016
3 rounds clomid + trigger + TI = BFN
3 rounds clomid + trigger + IUI = BFN
Uterine polyp removed July 2017
Round 1 IVF January 2018
Some of you were also upset with the comments of another poster on the PGAL board which said, "I totally get that the long-term posters on that board have good reason to be bitter, but it is really unkind to take it out on others." You called that person out for assuming that people are bitter because they're TTGP, and informed her that she should consider that people TTC for a long time for such a large number of reasons. I agree with you, and I'm sorry if those comments hurt or offended you. Please know that NONE of us would want to hurt any of you. I don't know why you assume that every comment we make has malicious intent, but I assure you that was not the intention.
Last thing - I have apologized COUNTLESS times for my post back in November (I think that's when it was) which asked about sex frequency and pissed a lot of you off because it was such a naive question/post. I won't update on these Grad Check-Ins anymore, but I'll say again - I AM SORRY. No, I do NOT think that "having all the sex" will lead to pregnancy for people with infertility issues. No, I am not under the impression that I'm "better" than anyone here, or anyone in general. And for the last time, I ONLY brought up my house because someone else told me, "I would have time for that much sex, except I actually have a house to clean and kids to care for" so I responded by essentially telling them that I, too, have a house to clean and kids at home. I feel like some of you think I just randomly posted about my life/house/whatever just to brag - THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION and I'm sorry if stating the square footage of my house or the frequency of my BD sessions hurt your feelings or pissed you off or made you feel attacked. Seriously, it was not my intention - hurting peoples' feelings is NEVER my intention.
Fur-children: 3 dogs + 2 cats (all rescued)
6 rounds of clomid
5 rounds of iui
Several HSG's sprinkled throughout the years to up my chances of a BFP
Several dilation of cervix because they suspect the scar tissue is hindering it from fully opening (partially adds to the severe cramps all month)
IVF #1 Gonal F, Menopur and Cetrotide
ER 12/1/2016
4/4 day 5 embryos were normal for PGS!!! 2 boys/2 girls
FET 1/10/2017
Gallbladder surgery 1/10/2017
FET estimated end of Feb, beginning of March
The term bitter is always hurtful, just as calling someone a B**ch is usually hurtful. Being mindful of your audience is a large part of not being hurtful, especially since with a post or comment we are unable to see your tone.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
________________________________________________________
Started TTC #1 November 2015
BFP 6/10/2016 - EDD 2/22/2017
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
And this truly seems to be what I continue to see from you @1faceinacrowd. Not just the post from November about frequency of BDing, but multiple times on TB, you don't seem stop and take time to consider that your experience and life is not everyone else's. And then you end up saying things that offend people and get super defensive when you're called out on it. It just makes you look like you don't have a lot of empathy (I am not saying you don't have it, just how it comes across here). Maybe just stop a moment and step in other people's shoes and look around a bit. It doesn't seem like rocket science that being called bitter or that what, on face value, looks like you're hoping people are still TTC in a few years, might offend people. I say this only because you seem truly mysitified by why you're rubbing people the wrong way, and this is a large part of it.
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
TTC#1: October 2015
dx: PCOS & MFI
IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
July 2016: Blighted Ovum
IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
FET February 2017 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
Team Blue X 2!
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
I get what you're saying, @LoveIsOwlYouNeed. I don't always sit back and think about how people might interpret what I say; that's 100% on me. I came back to this thread because I wanted to explain what I meant, and I also wanted to apologize for it being poorly worded. I read and re-read my apology post before posting it on this thread. I honestly don't enjoy being hated by a community of people, even though it's online. IRL, it's a lot easier to read people, and I'm generally a much better verbal communicator than I am a written/online communicator. THIS is exactly why I prefer setting up meetings and talking face-to-face at work rather than e-mail. I'm WAY too straight-forward when typing and absolutely am better received when people can sit across from me and understand where I'm coming from. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best written communicator and that it IS my fault that people take what I say the wrong way. I try really, really hard to apologize whenever that happens, and I also admit that I get somewhat defensive because I'm NOT a bad/mean person and it feels like an attack on my character when people assume that I have malicious intent behind anything I'm saying. Again - I admit that it is MY fault when people misunderstand my intent, but it still upsets me sometimes nonetheless. And I feel so goddamn terrible for making people upset.
So you liking someone's post that says all the longterm posters on TTGP are bitter and just say hurtful things to other people (specifically those that are pregnant) to deal with their own anger seems a lot like you AGREE with that person and do indeed think we are bitter even if you didn't say it in so many words.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Also, don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes that best thing to do in a situation like this is just walk away. Not doing so is another thing that isn't helping you. It's just something I've learned in life. If that not how you are in IRL, why is it so important to you what internet strangers think of you? Just make an effort moving forward and in the mean time, let it go.
ETA: I, for example, am going to walk away from this now, because I personally don't care for cyclical conversations and am ready to move on...
LFAF April Siggy Challenge - TV/Movie BFFS - Romy & Michele
She said other things in her response, including providing support for my other statement/complaint within my post (which had nothing to do with this). And yeah, I probably didn't give much thought to the "bitterness" comment when I first read it (I don't know - I read it for the first time two days ago when it was posted, and that's when I hit the "love it" button).
But after reading all of the responses within that thread this morning, I re-read all of the comments made by myself and other posters within that thread, and I posted my thoughts/response/apology here.
As I mentioned above, I didn't give much thought to the "bitter" portion of her comment until this morning, when I got back on and read all of the responses, and went back and re-read what I and the other original commenters had said. That is the point when I realized that it wasn't a nice thing to say, and that I should apologize for my comments as well, since they were taken differently than I intended.
I apologize for saying siggy so much.
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Lucy 07-13-11
Violet 03-13-14
Conceived #3 since September 2015
11-25-15 twelve week loss
07-21-16 ten week loss
10-03-16 5 week loss
TTC again soon!
If I were to dig myself so deep into a conflict that my mere presence was emotionally impacting a large group of people, I would take a step back, for the sake of everyone involved, and re-evaluate the situation logically.
I would recognise the fact that offering apologies/excuses for repeat offences doesn't mean I am owed instant forgiveness.
I would also recognise that concocting an imaginary scenario where I offer unsolicited physical affection to @Lulucooks, and am met with physical violence, is incredibly insulting and mischaracterises someone I don't even know.
I would have the maturity to see that my continued input is doing more harm than good.
I would take my lessons to heart, cut my losses, and walk away.
I would take care not repeat my mistakes future situations.
But that's just me.
ETA two letters and this ETA.
BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16