I grew up with no one being able to spell or pronounce my name either. However it has now become a more common name, it's Lorelei. And my son is Cy. Not a nickname, not short for anything. My new son is Damon.
I'm fine with anything that makes a name more phonetic but also less complicated. I love language but recognize English is very multi-cultural and lacks intuitive spelling. I have many angles of thought on it.
I'm into genealogy, and if any of you have German ancestry, oh my. It'd have been nice if everyone wasn't named Johann. More eclectic names definitely make historical and family research easier. In the age of the internet, you could argue that a more unique name is more dangerous when it is so easy to search for people though.
I have learning disabilities in my family which make me more sympathetic to alternative, but easier spellings of names.
As for "made up names", I think they have a very valid place in the african-american community as a community who was stripped of their previous cultural identity.
@Gingermom15 , I'm not talking about names being okay or not. Ultimately all names are okay as long as they are not offensive, distressing, etc. The African-American community has very understandable reasons for drifting from Euro-centric names and developing their own identity, though.
Here is a question. What if it's a name that legitimately has multiple spellings depending on culture. For instance My brother's name is Kristopher (Scandinavian spelling) My son's name is Elliott. I've seen Elliot, Eliot, etc.. I don't think things like that are too out there or 'against the rules' but I do understand its hard to figure out what name people are going for if they go too outlandish.
Me: 35, healthy
DH: 35, male IF
Married 6 years on Feb 27th 2016. TTC since we got married.
Were going to go the adoption route, but decided to try IVF with donor embryos once or twice.
After 5 years of waiting, hoping, researching, doctors, etc we tried the procedure.
Here is a question. What if it's a name that legitimately has multiple spellings depending on culture. For instance My brother's name is Kristopher (Scandinavian spelling) My son's name is Elliott. I've seen Elliot, Eliot, etc.. I don't think things like that are too out there or 'against the rules' but I do understand its hard to figure out what name people are going for if they go too outlandish.
I personally avoid those unless it's an absolute favorite name, and would always recommend the most common spelling, but there's nothing *wrong* with various accepted spellings. It can just be frustrating to always be "Megan-no-H" or "Elliott-Two-T's".
Here is a question. What if it's a name that legitimately has multiple spellings depending on culture. For instance My brother's name is Kristopher (Scandinavian spelling) My son's name is Elliott. I've seen Elliot, Eliot, etc.. I don't think things like that are too out there or 'against the rules' but I do understand its hard to figure out what name people are going for if they go too outlandish.
I personally avoid those unless it's an absolute favorite name, and would always recommend the most common spelling, but there's nothing *wrong* with various accepted spellings. It can just be frustrating to always be "Megan-no-H" or "Elliott-Two-T's".
This. I go fo the most common/traditional spelling, and would avoid ethnic spellings unless it's actually your heritage.
In all reality ladies it only matters to the child and the family. Not really anyone else's concern, in my opinion.
You're right. It does matter to the child. Unfortunately, the child doesn't really get a choice in the matter so at least some thought should go into choosing a legitimate name that the child won't have to constantly and unnecessarily spell out and/or be teased for the rest of their lives....
To the lady who says random people would never give her child a nickname: You are horribly mistaken. I can't tell you how many times a stranger or teacher in America decided to call me Anne, Annie or Nikki despite me telling them that my name is Annika. I even had a professor in college who decided to call me Jen because my middle name is Genevieve and she didn't like my first name. If I didn't answer, it was my problem. People decide to shorten names, especially if there's more than one Jackson in the room. My cats name is Jack and I think it's a lovely name.
THIS!!!! My name is very common 'Elizabeth' and everyone always wants to 'Beth', 'Liz', 'Betty', etc me. NO honey, my name is Elizabeth. Regardless of what that woman you reference would like to believe (I saw several of her posts and IMO she was just downright nasty), you do NOT decide your own nn, but you can put your foot down and insist on being called by your given name.
Jackson nn Jack- Jaxon nn Jax
I like Jax better ;;)
Agreed I like Jax better.
Just in general: If you don't like a way someone spells a name - then don't use it for your kid. I'm not sure why other people always think "my way is THE ONLY way". Get over yourselves. Names are creative and diverse because the globe is diverse. My family is Jewish, Spanish, Israeli, & Puerto Rican; SO's family is Swedish. Our baby will have a UNIQUE name reflective of the combined heritage; if someone doesn't like it, guess what? IDGAF. It's my kid. Think what you want but at the end of the day you're the one stressing and my family and I will go on our merry way.
To the lady who says random people would never give her child a nickname: You are horribly mistaken. I can't tell you how many times a stranger or teacher in America decided to call me Anne, Annie or Nikki despite me telling them that my name is Annika. I even had a professor in college who decided to call me Jen because my middle name is Genevieve and she didn't like my first name. If I didn't answer, it was my problem. People decide to shorten names, especially if there's more than one Jackson in the room. My cats name is Jack and I think it's a lovely name.
THIS!!!! My name is very common 'Elizabeth' and everyone always wants to 'Beth', 'Liz', 'Betty', etc me. NO honey, my name is Elizabeth. Regardless of what that woman you reference would like to believe (I saw several of her posts and IMO she was just downright nasty), you do NOT decide your own nn, but you can put your foot down and insist on being called by your given name.
If you're going to call someone out, call them out. This is a 10 page, monster of a thread and passive aggressive just doesn't cut it anymore.
And FWIW, a name that honors a heritage is an entirely separate beast from making up a name.
Just chiming in a few cents here .... I'm a "Katie" and you have no idea how often I get asked if it's short for anything. Nope, that is my legal name. Side note: Starbucks so often spells it "Kaitie" .... uhm?
It's kind of like, my H and I if we have a baby and it's a girl, her name is likely Jaclyn. Why? Family name and we're not French so it would feel weird to spell it Jacqueline or any other similar spelling.
Just chiming in a few cents here .... I'm a "Katie" and you have no idea how often I get asked if it's short for anything. Nope, that is my legal name. Side note: Starbucks so often spells it "Kaitie" .... uhm?
It's kind of like, my H and I if we have a baby and it's a girl, her name is likely Jaclyn. Why? Family name and we're not French so it would feel weird to spell it Jacqueline or any other similar spelling.
Y I would find Zhaklina odd with no heritage ties, but Jaclyn (which I've never seen before I started frequenting these boards) feels, lesser, than Jacqueline. They would also be pronounced differently.
Also, coming on the board late.The new hipster spelling of names are ridiculous. Especially when you work on children's records; we have to always double check that the name isn't a typo. Today's name of the day was Dizier "Desire." I was pronouncing it Dizzy-er, lol that is bad!
I am a huuuuuuuuuuge fan of simple normal names. Give your children a clean slate. They can come up with cool nicknames for themselves when they're teens.
I am a huuuuuuuuuuge fan of simple normal names. Give your children a clean slate. They can come up with cool nicknames for themselves when they're teens.
This.
My kids will be unique enough without me saddling them with a horrible hard to spell name. Most people don't think you are being cool or WOW what a neat spelling. They think uneducated or trying too hard.
I have an uncommon spelling of my name (the French version even though I live in an English speaking place) and I HATE IT. Don't do this to your kids.
Also, enough with the Nevaeh, how are people still using this terrible name??
I agree, I've seen hundreds of names with Nevaeh. Which is heaven spelt backwards. It's usually accompanied with the name Alizé..which is a name after an alcoholic beverage. Why they put those two names together I'll never understand.
I only know one Nevaeh and she has two brothers with classic, lovely names. She's so sweet and smart, figures she'd be stuck with a name like that. She's only 4 and makes people call her Vay.
This subject is super bothersome for me. In all reality I don't care what other people name their kids, but it does put us in an awkward position since we went with a foreign name for our son that reflects our culture and the language we speak along side English. Yehudah is (the original) Hebrew for Judah (meaning: Praised), and the nickname that naturally came out of that is Hudi. In Israel this isn't uncommon. In fact, if you call out either Yehudah or Hudi in the middle of a market place, you would probably see a ton of heads turn.
Yet almost no one knows that here unless they are Jewish, nor do I expect them to. I totally expected people to ask about it, and to even have trouble pronouncing it (even though it's spelled exactly how it sounds, but people don't bother sounding it out). I don't mind explaining. What I didn't expect was comments such as "how did you come up with that?" and implications that I made something up. Usually when I say it's Hebrew, people react with relief. It's frustrating because society is so used to made up names that when they come across a new name they've never heard of their assumption isn't "oh what language is that?", but that parents just jumbled letters together.
For us names reflect deep meanings, and we give children names that have significant meanings that reflect our desires and hopes for them. In my opinion, that is more beautiful than just how it sounds. I guess it's a cultural difference that makes me not understand how names are chosen simply because people like the way they ring, and especially names that have various sounds thrown together in a made up way.
@ShalomAtHome I get what you're saying. Our 6 month old is named Neel; this is the Indian spelling for Neil and translates to a beautiful shade of blue. My husband is Indian and thus the spelling choice. We've only had one off comment so far, but I'm concerned that some people may think that we made up the name when this is not the case (or worse, that we misspelled it!). I, too, am not fond of made up names.
The child is not getting a NN without his/her consent. If they are being called Nick it's because they want to be. No one just gives someone a NN and says "I'm going to call you this whether you like it or not."
Wow! I have never in my life seen more judgmental women. This whole thread is just insane to me. Who the hell cares how someone spells the name of THEIR child? Like, how in the world does that affect you in any way?? Is it really necessary to tear people down because they like a different name. If I am not mistaken every single name in existence was at one time...MADE UP by someone. All of them. They did not simply just exist, someone made them up and spelled them how they saw fit. If no one ever made up new names we would be a world filled with people of all the same name. The etymology of a name or word has to start somewhere, right? Do some maybe take it a bit too far? Sure, but why is that really any of your or anyone else's business? I think we should all name OUR children what we want and leave one another alone to do the same without being so judgmental and looking like a mean girl who thinks they are better than someone else because you spell your kid's names traditionally.
I'm sure people give us crap about our Eliot behind our backs. There are several ways to spell it, with the most common being Elliot. But I didn't like how that looked (I hate too many consonants...) and Eliot was still a very valid and correct way to spell it. As such, I don't judge... Unless someone was to spell a name like Tim Ttimm... There is no language I can think of where that would be except able. Or naming your child * .... You get my point!
Unfortunately, I think most people who want to use creative spelling might not understand that.
Or care about the linguistic naming conventions. Cause people are really policing what someone else chooses to name their kid lol. That's humanity for you though, and we just keep making more humans to judge each other over trivium. the fact that English is such a "mutt" hybrid language shows that the rules are fluid or someone would have already declared it unorthodox to mingle languages, change connotations over time, etc. These rules are made and adjusted by people. They're not sacred cows lol
I see the point of this if people are literally making up weird spellings to be cool, but really I think it depends on the name and its popularity. There are many names that now have so many common spellings that they will be asked how to spell the name no matter which spelling is chosen (for example Madeleine/Madelyn, Haley/Hayley, Jeffrey/Jeffery/Geoffrey, Stephen/Steven). Even in traditional names you see variations...
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:26-27&33-34
I personally think, if you are willing to call your child something for 50+ years, and think its neat and cool, go for it. If they don't like it when they are older, believe me they will tell you.
It might be a cultural difference, but I would never tell my parents I dislike the name they gave me. They still talk about it to this day as though it was a great decision. I know it makes them happy so I wouldn't ruin that for them.
As for the other parts (that I didn't quote), I've also gotten along "just fine" throughout life. I wouldn't consider a name some great life issue, it's more of a constant annoyance. I admit I was really angry when I wrote that post. I had been dealing with my pharmacy who couldn't find, (then) fill, or release my prescriptions because my name was spelled wrong. This is why I should never change pharmacies, they didn't have any of my info on file. The nurse at my doctor's office hadn't given my message to my doctor (I had been trying to clear this issue up for a few days at this point). I understand why I couldn't get my meds, unfortunately my heart doesn't care that my name starts with a "K" and not a "C". So my husband found me unconscious on the bathroom floor (luckily it was only a blood pressure drop and not something worse). Another expensive trip to the ER thanks to a nurse who couldn't deliver a message, the pharmacy that couldn't fill it (which I know is a legal issue), and my name which had to be spelled different.
Also, count me in the camp for never having heard the name Andromeda, it is quite beautiful (no other spellings and spell check can catch any mistakes!).
I don't understand how so many people haven't heard of the Andromeda Galaxy when we're literally right beside it and have been trying to enter it forever. Anyhow. In this day and age, odd spellings are common. That sounds like the pharmacists fault, as they always double check my spelling or my sisters (her name is Miriya) when we get our prescriptions. Literally that's one of the first questions they ask. So maybe next time tell her it's spelled different. Like I said, if you're willing to name your child something you can stand to call them, you aren't gonna change anyone's mind. My nieces name is noelle and every year at Christmas my SIL gets mad when she finds something that says Noel instead. She says " they spelled your name wrong baby". No you did. But I don't say that, cause it's the name her husband really liked. I personally don't like crazy spellings, or plain names. So I won't do that to my kids but to make a whole thread about setting them up for failure? We live in a world, especially the US where different names are becoming normal. Especially with the influx of different cultures mixing in more. I went to school with 3 Valbonas and never understood why someone would name their child that, one of the girls even had the nickname Boner in high school. But it is a cultural name, and now that we're older I see it. I'm just saying, people are gonna do what they want. I have 2 middle names, and so does my son and my daughter will too. My grandma thinks I'm dumb for doing it. But I want it that way.
The child is not getting a NN without his/her consent. If they are being called Nick it's because they want to be. No one just gives someone a NN and says "I'm going to call you this whether you like it or not."
You obviously never went to public school...
My parents nicknamed me Andra from day 1. Literally in my baby book that's what she wrote under the first photo in it. My grandparents called me Ande since I can remember.
I get customers all the time who say, "spelled the normal way." I'm sorry, there is no such thing as "normal" spelling anymore and it drives me nuts. I don't get why people name their kids one thing then just short form it their entire lives. It's like, why didn't you just name them that in the first place? Baffles my mind. I love a lot of names but fear people NN'ing the sh!t out of my kids. Ugh. My boy name is indestructible though. I cannot even think of a likely NN for it so that makes me happy haha!
I really liked the name Nathaniel but knew I myself would probably start calling him (hypothetical "him" haha) Nate so I was like, why wouldn't I just name him Nate? DH put the kibosh to that one though so it's out. Thankfully we have agreed on previously mentioned "indestructible" name
Every time I see Jaxson I think of Charlie Hunnam and unfortunately not in a way that I would prefer to think of him LOL! I think of the horrible person he portrayed on that ever-so-amazing show. But still. When I see it spelled like that I'm over here like, *eye*roll*
Then you all will hate my sons name Eyezayiah. And i love the way its spelt and its not a bad thing to spell a name different you guys are just mad because your name is plain
Our names might be plain (which doesn't bother us, honest) but that's just ... wow. YOU might like the way it's spelled but you aren't going to be the one spelling it for your entire life. People are going to look at that and be like, "What was your mother thinking?!" #sorrynotsorry
I understand the need for "proper" spelling but the reality is that people can mispronounce all kinds of names. My name is Mariana but most none Spanish people spell it a number of ways. Very rarely does someone spell it the "right" way on the first try. I've never thought anything was wrong with my name and have gone my whole life correcting it but I would never blame my mom for that. People are going to mispronounce and probably spell my children's names different than what I intended but that's just the way it goes. Their names are D'Artagnan and Kieran. And yea i might get crap for it but I think they are strong names and I don't think they have to mean something or conform to anyone else's liking for them to be proud of them.
I understand the need for "proper" spelling but the reality is that people can mispronounce all kinds of names. My name is Mariana but most none Spanish people spell it a number of ways. Very rarely does someone spell it the "right" way on the first try. I've never thought anything was wrong with my name and have gone my whole life correcting it but I would never blame my mom for that. People are going to mispronounce and probably spell my children's names different than what I intended but that's just the way it goes. Their names are D'Artagnan and Kieran. And yea i might get crap for it but I think they are strong names and I don't think they have to mean something or conform to anyone else's liking for them to be proud of them.
I mean you did spell D'Artagnan and Kieran correctly...
Giving kids long, historical surnames as a given name is a completely different discussion.
I understand the need for "proper" spelling but the reality is that people can mispronounce all kinds of names. My name is Mariana but most none Spanish people spell it a number of ways. Very rarely does someone spell it the "right" way on the first try. I've never thought anything was wrong with my name and have gone my whole life correcting it but I would never blame my mom for that. People are going to mispronounce and probably spell my children's names different than what I intended but that's just the way it goes. Their names are D'Artagnan and Kieran. And yea i might get crap for it but I think they are strong names and I don't think they have to mean something or conform to anyone else's liking for them to be proud of them.
I had a D'Artagnan in class one year (I taught 7th grade). The look on his face when I actually pronounced his name correctly was heartbreaking. His friends all called him Dart, which he hated, because no one could pronounce his name. Just saying.
one thing im confused/curious about is how does a name come about to be correct, or a "real" name. seeing as for example: Jessica was first found in a william shakespeare play. that is the common spelling that he just came up with. so what makes that a real name as opposed to a name someone else comes up with?
This is my question too. When I first looked up my dd's name years and years before she even existed, I found it listed as an old Germanic name derived from Adelaide. So to me this is a real name. Now that she is here and this has been her name for four years, it is a popular name. Most name sites will say it's an American made up name. So how are you supposed to know if it's a "real" name or not? Some are obvious, some are not.
Re: ***Why name spelling matters***
I'm into genealogy, and if any of you have German ancestry, oh my. It'd have been nice if everyone wasn't named Johann. More eclectic names definitely make historical and family research easier. In the age of the internet, you could argue that a more unique name is more dangerous when it is so easy to search for people though.
I have learning disabilities in my family which make me more sympathetic to alternative, but easier spellings of names.
As for "made up names", I think they have a very valid place in the african-american community as a community who was stripped of their previous cultural identity.
TW: Loss
TW: Loss
Me: 35, healthy
DH: 35, male IF
Married 6 years on Feb 27th 2016. TTC since we got married.
Were going to go the adoption route, but decided to try IVF with donor embryos once or twice.
After 5 years of waiting, hoping, researching, doctors, etc we tried the procedure.
DS was born on 11-24-15!!
Just in general: If you don't like a way someone spells a name - then don't use it for your kid. I'm not sure why other people always think "my way is THE ONLY way". Get over yourselves. Names are creative and diverse because the globe is diverse. My family is Jewish, Spanish, Israeli, & Puerto Rican; SO's family is Swedish. Our baby will have a UNIQUE name reflective of the combined heritage; if someone doesn't like it, guess what? IDGAF. It's my kid. Think what you want but at the end of the day you're the one stressing and my family and I will go on our merry way.
And FWIW, a name that honors a heritage is an entirely separate beast from making up a name.
Me: 35, healthy
DH: 35, male IF
Married 6 years on Feb 27th 2016. TTC since we got married.
Were going to go the adoption route, but decided to try IVF with donor embryos once or twice.
After 5 years of waiting, hoping, researching, doctors, etc we tried the procedure.
DS was born on 11-24-15!!
I'm a "Katie" and you have no idea how often I get asked if it's short for anything. Nope, that is my legal name.
Side note: Starbucks so often spells it "Kaitie" .... uhm?
It's kind of like, my H and I if we have a baby and it's a girl, her name is likely Jaclyn. Why? Family name and we're not French so it would feel weird to spell it Jacqueline or any other similar spelling.
This.
My kids will be unique enough without me saddling them with a horrible hard to spell name. Most people don't think you are being cool or WOW what a neat spelling. They think uneducated or trying too hard.
I have an uncommon spelling of my name (the French version even though I live in an English speaking place) and I HATE IT. Don't do this to your kids.
Also, enough with the Nevaeh, how are people still using this terrible name??
Yet almost no one knows that here unless they are Jewish, nor do I expect them to. I totally expected people to ask about it, and to even have trouble pronouncing it (even though it's spelled exactly how it sounds, but people don't bother sounding it out). I don't mind explaining. What I didn't expect was comments such as "how did you come up with that?" and implications that I made something up. Usually when I say it's Hebrew, people react with relief. It's frustrating because society is so used to made up names that when they come across a new name they've never heard of their assumption isn't "oh what language is that?", but that parents just jumbled letters together.
For us names reflect deep meanings, and we give children names that have significant meanings that reflect our desires and hopes for them. In my opinion, that is more beautiful than just how it sounds. I guess it's a cultural difference that makes me not understand how names are chosen simply because people like the way they ring, and especially names that have various sounds thrown together in a made up way.
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1 son (Yehudah...AKA: Hudi) Born September 25th, 2013
TTC Since Beginning of March 2016
BFP: March 28th, 2016
EDD: December 3rd, 2016
As such, I don't judge... Unless someone was to spell a name like Tim Ttimm... There is no language I can think of where that would be except able. Or naming your child * .... You get my point!
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"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:26-27&33-34
I really liked the name Nathaniel but knew I myself would probably start calling him (hypothetical "him" haha) Nate so I was like, why wouldn't I just name him Nate? DH put the kibosh to that one though so it's out. Thankfully we have agreed on previously mentioned "indestructible" name
Every time I see Jaxson I think of Charlie Hunnam and unfortunately not in a way that I would prefer to think of him LOL! I think of the horrible person he portrayed on that ever-so-amazing show. But still. When I see it spelled like that I'm over here like, *eye*roll*
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
#sorrynotsorry
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Giving kids long, historical surnames as a given name is a completely different discussion.