I think people over share too much on social media and lingerie bump pics could certainly fall into that category, but I don't feel is my place to tell those people that they shouldn't do it.
Shaming her for the way she looks by saying she shouldn't post it or should be clothed is like saying that women should cover up while breastfeeding. It's fine if you don't like it, but honestly, that's your problem, not hers.
Unpopular Opinion: I don't understand the negative reaction people get when they refer to their baby's "sex" as "gender". We all know what they mean when they say gender, why make a fuss?
I don't mind go fund mes as long as they are for something important like medical bills or of that nature.
My 1st sons dead beat dad made one so he could get his drivers license back so he could take care of his kids. Kids being the ones he had after mine and not mine. I saw someone post it and I commented on it that he needs a go fundme so he could get caught up in the $26K in child support I am owed. I keep track of it and he never got a penny. haha
I have 2: I'm really looking forward to sharing my FB pregnancy announcement, even more so than any other "announcement" to friends and family we've made. I feel like a lot of people here (in past BMB) don't care about this part.
Also, I love to match and coordinate with my kids. We don't have any exactly matching "mommy and me" outfits yet but I totally plan to get some, and like to color coordinate when possible.
Anytime you (collective you, not specific) comment on another person's appearance/clothing/size, it's body shaming, whether you have a good argument for your criticism, or not.
I agree that how women are portrayed in the media is horrible and there are many reasons why that needs to change but it does not make it acceptable to criticize another woman for posting a photo of her body on social media. That's her right to show off her body how she wants.
Edit to add - as the mother of a little girl, it is my job to make sure that she knows that women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, regardless of how the media portrays them and how others view them. And mothers of boys have the duty to make sure that they respect all women, regardless of how they dress/portray themselves.
Me complaining about super-fit-pregnant-lady's phone case this morning got me thinking:
I can't stand overly cutesy, aged-down behavior/mannerisms. I can be pretty eccentric – I have a purse shaped like a mushroom, I'm eyeballing another weird purse that looks like an owl, and I have an arsenal of colorful socks – but I try to balance my love for those sorts of things with age-appropriate clothing (I loooove me a black blazer), mannerisms, a "normal" speaking voice, etc. Nothing makes me shudder like hearing a woman in my age group fake a vocal fry or go baby-voiced while clad in a confetti-cannoned cloud of baby pink clothing, especially in a professional setting.
I love linguistics in general and learning about the linguistic differences between regions/age groups/etc, but there's nothing interesting or cool to me about purposely infantilizing your voice to sound dumber than you really are. Yuck.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
This is really for tomorrow's FFFC but I wish my work's New Mother's Room (pumping room) would double as an Expectant Mother's nap room.... I swear 20m would do me wonders.
Yes! Was just thinking this about the pumping room at our work. It's so dark in there and hardly anyone ever in it. It would be a great rest spot
I can understand the feelings behind gender disappointment (or I guess sex disappointment ha!). It is a real thing and while I have not been through it myself (I have a DS and think it would be great to have a girl this time but will be happy with a boy as well), I have seen a couple of close friends experience it. I think that some people have a very strong desire to have a particular sex and in some cases this can be associated with difficulties in their childhood or past (eg, having a bad mother-daughter relationship and therefore being afraid to have a daughter). I know a lot of people feel that gender disappointment is ridiculous and selfish, but I think people have a right to feeling this way.
My 2 friends who are experiencing it would never trade their kids for the world and love them very much but they are always working through feelings of unfulfillment. They also both struggled with years of infertility and while they were obviously so thankful to be pregnant, they both experienced gender disappointment.
I think that for some, these feelings are just going to exist and they are valid and acceptable as long as the parent is doing as much as she can to cope with it and not let it affect her children. As a mother-baby nurse, I have a lot of perspective and know what a miracle it is to have a healthy baby. But some people just lack this perspective or even are very thankful for healthy children but still experience gender disappointment. I just don't think they should be flamed for it.
@TNgoldengirl I not only love coordinating outfits with DD, but also with DH, too. Not all the time and not exactly matching, but being in the same or complimentary color/pattern.
I disagree. Most women cannot even hope to look that good during pregnancy. Even having a healthy, fit pregnancy most women get bigger than that and many get stretch marks, noticable veins, cellulite, break outs, ect. Women should not look at that picture and think *that* is the goal and any thing less is unhealthy and abnormal. I'm not diminishing the hard work I'm sure she put into looking like that, but it's unrealistic for most women. I'm much more inspired by something like this:
I'm also skived out that she's posting langerie selfies. Whether she's pregnant or not.
@RedMar I know, right? I'm half jealous of her amazing rack, half impatient for my pregnancy boobs to come in. Not that they'll look like that, but still.
I specifically told DH not to take any vacation time off after the baby is born. I'd rather him take it during the summer when we can take a vacation and do something with the boys. His boss is an a** anyways and they have to have their vacation days picked out by May. With the other boys he got crap for saving one week and taking it when I had them.
@TNgoldengirl First, I like your husband. A Colts fan and he goes along with the matching outfits! Second, my DH has actually started asking me if he should wear or buy certain things so we will match for special functions. I love that he embraces it.
@camichael84@TNgoldengirl my DH is also a Colts fan! Coordinating w my maternity dresses will be tricky. They're all florals. Apparently lilies and gardenias hide enormous bellies
@camichael84 lol he's pretty great! Sounds like yours is too! @RedMar ha yeah that may take a little more planning! I don't have many maternity dresses, I need to get more!
Eh, I guess I just don't see the big deal if someone wants to post in fancy underwear while pregnant on her own Instagram, popular or not.
she's not shoving her boobs in my face. It's her own Instagram. She's promoting herself on her own platform. She has no responsibility to the public. I don't know.... I just think because she is probably genetically blessed with that insane body that she doesn't deserve such negativity over something like this...
I disagree. Her pictures are all over the place due to the controversy she created, thus they are kind of "in my face". I accidentally came across her photos in an article that was shared on MY Facebook newsfeed. I'm not following her instagram. I was feeling particularly crappy that day, and just didn't need to see someone's perfect pregnant abs. All opinions, whether negative or positive, are only helping her claim to fame. She was already a well known fitness model with a substantial following on instagram, and knew what kind of reaction she was going to get. Her main goal was to promote herself and start trending. She could've focused on promoting her healthy choices, and been more concerned about how her pictures would affect others' self esteem, and how she could use her platform to inspire women and body positivity. I believe she DOES have a responsibility being in the public eye. I guess I'm just an idealist who believes that all those who are blessed (either genetically or financially) should be more helpful, humble, and less self-serving.
I actually hadn't seen the photo yet so I wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't posted. It doesn't bother me but I wouldn't share a photo like that!!
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
I mean, good for you for exercising constantly and most likely having an easy first trimester so that you could manage to keep that up, but do I really need to see your perfectly tanned tits and ass out all over the place? Could you be more full of yourself? Do you even think about what kind of damage this can do to the pregnant woman's body image when they see this? People like this and Maria Kang and this woman just annoy me so much. Why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy?
My point is, I'm not hating on all the #fitmoms and #fitpregos, but your pictures should promote your healthy lifestyle, not your lingerie or your abnormal amount of muscle tone.
Also, Wednesday confession: I don't know who this is. I'm assuming it's a Kardashian???
DD1 6.2011 DD2 4.2013 - vbac DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green Baby #4 due 9.2018
Okay so I have been reading this thread on and off all day because I found @TheTamedShrew post inaccurate, and an attack on women who look like that. So instead of wondering and judging her so harshly here is an interview with her.
Also she is the same mom who posted a picture of herself breastfeeding on Facebook that Instagram wanted to take down. She has been fighting to show that breast feeding is not something women should be ashamed of or have to hide.
This is women had morning sickness throughout her first trimester, worked out 3-5 times a week throughout her pregnancy but it was low intensity and modified and monitored by her dr. She gave birth to healthy 9lb baby boy which is pretty big. She also didn't give in to many of her pregnancy cravings but did to some like most pregnant women.
So you wouldn't post a picture of yourself in a bikini or underwear because there is really no difference. That is okay but shaming another woman for doing so is not okay. And judging her pregnancy because of a picture is so so wrong. You can't say her abs are more important than her pregnancy because of the way she carried her child or because she didn't use Pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever. It is so very wrong and I'm very disappointed to see this type of narrow minded thinking and shaming towards a pregnant woman on this board.
@kosmo86 team no makeup over here! like ever. well, only at weddings or things like that lol.
Also, I'm reading the comments about that pregnant lady while chomping down on nacho cheese chips (hey, they're from whole foods okay?!) trying to formulate my opinion about it. But for now, all I know is that these chips are effing delicious.
Unpopular Opinion: I don't understand the negative reaction people get when they refer to their baby's "sex" as "gender". We all know what they mean when they say gender, why make a fuss?
The woman's body in that photo doesn't bother me as much as her choice of clothing (or lack of). To me, a pregnant body/baby bump is a beautiful and sacred image no matter what your body type is. The push up bra and thong underwear just don't match that imo. I've seen tasteful bra and panty maternity photos that I can stand and usually it involves ass and tits being mostly covered. Sexy lingerie just doesn't seem appropriate for documenting your growing bump, or at least not in a photo you share with the public.
Lurking too and I'll leave the body shaming alone as I think it's been pointed out that judging someone harshly based on their looks whether their slender or overweight is body shaming plain and simple. What bugs me is that it actually went a step further and shamed her as a parent (she hasn't even given birth yet and already judged for her parenting decisions!) by assuming and claiming that her six pack was "her top priority," insinuating that she doesn't care about her unborn child bur rather her appearance instead- sheesh.
As far as the quote I included... just because someone is pregnant or becomes a mother doesn't mean they lose their sexuality or sensuality. It doesn't mean that you're sole purpose in life is to be a mother and that your sexual needs and desires no longer exist. Becoming a mother doesn't mean you box up all your sexy lingerie, crawl into a hole and wear moo moo's the rest of your life. You don't think that the sexy bra and thong aren't inextricably related to how that baby got there in the first place?
And @thscary and the peeps that liked that ignorant comment... No, not everyone DOES know the difference. And if you DID in fact know the difference, you would have no problem using the CORRECT verbiage and making it a point to correct others. Why make the fuss? Because of the 40% of transgendered folks that attempt suicide. Usually due to bullying, which usually comes from people not understanding the ramifications of their ignorance.
@PinkLady2015 I am well aware that gender identity is an issue for some people.
However, I don't think using the word "gender" as it relates to a baby is feeding into bullying towards a transgender community. i just don't see how it's offensive in this context. I guess it's called unpopular opinion for a reason
While I respect people coming to the board and checking out posts I don't like when people take it as an opportunity to stir the pot and try to turn a seemingly respectful conversation into something else.
And no; I am not anti lurking, I know this is the internet and people can post what they wish. I am just voicing my potentially unpopular opinion.
that is sarah stage. There was controversy over whether she was having a healthy pregnancy while maintains such a small figure. Her Dr was never concerned and she had a big baby (who is crazy adorable).
Why is she posting in her underwear? Because she is a model. She was doing swimsuit modeling well into her pregnancy. She is also paid through Instagram for her advertisements on her pictures, so if posting her bump in her underwear is making her money, who cares.
There are a lot of women who carry differently and are able to relate to this picture, as it can help attenuate the worries of their babies development if they have small bumps.
While I respect people coming to the board and checking out posts I don't like when people take it as an opportunity to stir the pot and try to turn a seemingly respectful conversation into something else.
And no; I am not anti lurking, I know this is the internet and people can post what they wish. I am just voicing my potentially unpopular opinion.
Edit: half of my sentence got cut off
Not sure who your post was directed at but sorry the conversation that was going on was not respectful and I quote "Could you be more full of yourself? Do you even think about what kind of damage this can do to the pregnant woman's body image when they see this? People like this and Maria Kang and this woman just annoy me so much. Why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy?"
Tamedshrew also insinuated this picture hurts others with eating disorders. That is not respectful or helpful either because as someone who struggled with one I can tell you 100% this photo does not make me struggle with my self image, but someone saying that people who are proud of their bodies and are working hard to be healthy are hurting others or insinuating they care more about their appearance than their child does!
Also so calling her out on her lies in her post that this woman had an easy first trimester and cared more about her appearance than being healthy is telling the truth and spreading the truth not stirring the pot and if you can't handle some challenging lies and perspective then it's time to grow up a little bit.
I am just going to clarify this one more time and then I have to stop. I feel like my purpose of posting this has been highly misconstrued. I never ONCE said there was anything wrong with her body, or that there was anything unhealthy about her pregnancy. I never pointed out the size of her bump or mentioned her weight. I also happen to be very passionate about fitness and healthy eating habits, during pregnancy and any other time. I think her outfit choice is ridiculous, but that's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it. In no way is that in the realm of body shaming. I posted a picture of her and mentioned Maria Kang and a link to a body builder who's priority DID seem to be her six pack, since that was what the article was about. I'm happy for her having such good genes and a fitness background and the means and knowledge to maintain her body. What I don't like is when these images break the Internet, and then become an unattainable standard for what a fit pregnancy looks like. I (and MANY other women) also work out 3-5 times a week and don't give in to all my cravings, and 99% of women won't look like that. I understand she is a model, and this is her career, and it isn't her personally, but the overall backlash and self esteem issues that are created with photos like these. Of course it's my problem if I allow the photo to make me feel bad about myself, but I refuse to believe that I am the only person who feels a little defeated in my fitness goals when I look at this. I'm glad that some of you are inspired by her. I don't like being dubbed a body shamer, but I suppose that it is coming across to some people that way. I really had no idea this would be such an unpopular opinion.
Why do people put "Lurking" at the beginning of their posts? I genuinely don't understand what that means since your posting and not lurking lol.
Also, I don't really see the point in this thread. It always results in people arguing or getting defensive. Why do we do this to ourselves as most of us are already hormonal/emotional? Sure it can be entertaining but it seems to do more harm to the group then good (IMHO).
And those are my UO's today!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Anyway, if I looked like that I'd wear the exact same thing and probably less if I'm being honest, because she looks awesome and healthy and happy and beautiful. Body shamers should be ashamed of themselves.
Here's another UO... I hate when I clear my schedule for someone and they don't bother to follow through with plans. Not only that, but they wait until super late in the day to tell me that their doing whatever else instead. What ever happened to common courtesy?!
I mean, good for you for exercising constantly and most likely having an easy first trimester so that you could manage to keep that up, but do I really need to see your perfectly tanned tits and ass out all over the place? Could you be more full of yourself? Do you even think about what kind of damage this can do to the pregnant woman's body image when they see this? People like this and Maria Kang and this woman just annoy me so much. Why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy?
My point is, I'm not hating on all the #fitmoms and #fitpregos, but your pictures should promote your healthy lifestyle, not your lingerie or your abnormal amount of muscle tone.
I would hope that since the bump is designed to be a supportive community of women, that body shaming wouldn't be tolerated.
For what it is worth @TheTamedShrew , I did not think your posts were body shaming. It was just your opinion about the photo, how it made you feel and your opinion on what the messaging might be. I think this got way out of hand but I guess if people want to say what is on their minds, this is the place to do it.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
I'll be sure to start posting my HDBD pics in a thong. I'm sure it will get all the love its and you will all compliment me and feel happy for my body confidence, and if any of you think it's tasteless or inappropriate or vain, then you are totes body shaming me.
Re: UO
Shaming her for the way she looks by saying she shouldn't post it or should be clothed is like saying that women should cover up while breastfeeding. It's fine if you don't like it, but honestly, that's your problem, not hers.
I don't understand the negative reaction people get when they refer to their baby's "sex" as "gender". We all know what they mean when they say gender, why make a fuss?
My 1st sons dead beat dad made one so he could get his drivers license back so he could take care of his kids. Kids being the ones he had after mine and not mine. I saw someone post it and I commented on it that he needs a go fundme so he could get caught up in the $26K in child support I am owed. I keep track of it and he never got a penny. haha
Also, I love to match and coordinate with my kids. We don't have any exactly matching "mommy and me" outfits yet but I totally plan to get some, and like to color coordinate when possible.
Anytime you (collective you, not specific) comment on another person's appearance/clothing/size, it's body shaming, whether you have a good argument for your criticism, or not.
I agree that how women are portrayed in the media is horrible and there are many reasons why that needs to change but it does not make it acceptable to criticize another woman for posting a photo of her body on social media. That's her right to show off her body how she wants.
Edit to add - as the mother of a little girl, it is my job to make sure that she knows that women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, regardless of how the media portrays them and how others view them. And mothers of boys have the duty to make sure that they respect all women, regardless of how they dress/portray themselves.
I can't stand overly cutesy, aged-down behavior/mannerisms. I can be pretty eccentric – I have a purse shaped like a mushroom, I'm eyeballing another weird purse that looks like an owl, and I have an arsenal of colorful socks – but I try to balance my love for those sorts of things with age-appropriate clothing (I loooove me a black blazer), mannerisms, a "normal" speaking voice, etc. Nothing makes me shudder like hearing a woman in my age group fake a vocal fry or go baby-voiced while clad in a confetti-cannoned cloud of baby pink clothing, especially in a professional setting.
I love linguistics in general and learning about the linguistic differences between regions/age groups/etc, but there's nothing interesting or cool to me about purposely infantilizing your voice to sound dumber than you really are. Yuck.
Awkward Family Fun
I can understand the feelings behind gender disappointment (or I guess sex disappointment ha!). It is a real thing and while I have not been through it myself (I have a DS and think it would be great to have a girl this time but will be happy with a boy as well), I have seen a couple of close friends experience it. I think that some people have a very strong desire to have a particular sex and in some cases this can be associated with difficulties in their childhood or past (eg, having a bad mother-daughter relationship and therefore being afraid to have a daughter). I know a lot of people feel that gender disappointment is ridiculous and selfish, but I think people have a right to feeling this way.
My 2 friends who are experiencing it would never trade their kids for the world and love them very much but they are always working through feelings of unfulfillment. They also both struggled with years of infertility and while they were obviously so thankful to be pregnant, they both experienced gender disappointment.
I think that for some, these feelings are just going to exist and they are valid and acceptable as long as the parent is doing as much as she can to cope with it and not let it affect her children. As a mother-baby nurse, I have a lot of perspective and know what a miracle it is to have a healthy baby. But some people just lack this perspective or even are very thankful for healthy children but still experience gender disappointment. I just don't think they should be flamed for it.
I am idealistic in the sense that I hope all women are celebrated especially during pregnancy.
I don't put much stock in celebrities or social media. It's everyone's best face but I understand why you feel the way you feel.
I specifically told DH not to take any vacation time off after the baby is born. I'd rather him take it during the summer when we can take a vacation and do something with the boys. His boss is an a** anyways and they have to have their vacation days picked out by May. With the other boys he got crap for saving one week and taking it when I had them.
@RedMar ha yeah that may take a little more planning! I don't have many maternity dresses, I need to get more!
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
DD2 4.2013 - vbac
DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
Baby #4 due 9.2018
@TNgoldengirl DH is pretty awesome... despite him being a... get this... Jags fan.
Okay so I have been reading this thread on and off all day because I found @TheTamedShrew post inaccurate, and an attack on women who look like that. So instead of wondering and judging her so harshly here is an interview with her.
Also she is the same mom who posted a picture of herself breastfeeding on Facebook that Instagram wanted to take down. She has been fighting to show that breast feeding is not something women should be ashamed of or have to hide.
This is women had morning sickness throughout her first trimester, worked out 3-5 times a week throughout her pregnancy but it was low intensity and modified and monitored by her dr. She gave birth to healthy 9lb baby boy which is pretty big. She also didn't give in to many of her pregnancy cravings but did to some like most pregnant women.
So you wouldn't post a picture of yourself in a bikini or underwear because there is really no difference. That is okay but shaming another woman for doing so is not okay. And judging her pregnancy because of a picture is so so wrong. You can't say her abs are more important than her pregnancy because of the way she carried her child or because she didn't use Pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever. It is so very wrong and I'm very disappointed to see this type of narrow minded thinking and shaming towards a pregnant woman on this board.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/news/a42259/sarah-stage-interview/
Also, I'm reading the comments about that pregnant lady while chomping down on nacho cheese chips (hey, they're from whole foods okay?!) trying to formulate my opinion about it. But for now, all I know is that these chips are effing delicious.
Lurking too and I'll leave the body shaming alone as I think it's been pointed out that judging someone harshly based on their looks whether their slender or overweight is body shaming plain and simple. What bugs me is that it actually went a step further and shamed her as a parent (she hasn't even given birth yet and already judged for her parenting decisions!) by assuming and claiming that her six pack was "her top priority," insinuating that she doesn't care about her unborn child bur rather her appearance instead- sheesh.
As far as the quote I included... just because someone is pregnant or becomes a mother doesn't mean they lose their sexuality or sensuality. It doesn't mean that you're sole purpose in life is to be a mother and that your sexual needs and desires no longer exist. Becoming a mother doesn't mean you box up all your sexy lingerie, crawl into a hole and wear moo moo's the rest of your life. You don't think that the sexy bra and thong aren't inextricably related to how that baby got there in the first place?
And @thscary and the peeps that liked that ignorant comment... No, not everyone DOES know the difference. And if you DID in fact know the difference, you would have no problem using the CORRECT verbiage and making it a point to correct others. Why make the fuss? Because of the 40% of transgendered folks that attempt suicide. Usually due to bullying, which usually comes from people not understanding the ramifications of their ignorance.
However, I don't think using the word "gender" as it relates to a baby is feeding into bullying towards a transgender community. i just don't see how it's offensive in this context. I guess it's called unpopular opinion for a reason
And no; I am not anti lurking, I know this is the internet and people can post what they wish. I am just voicing my potentially unpopular opinion.
Edit: half of my sentence got cut off
that is sarah stage. There was controversy over whether she was having a healthy pregnancy while maintains such a small figure. Her Dr was never concerned and she had a big baby (who is crazy adorable).
Why is she posting in her underwear? Because she is a model. She was doing swimsuit modeling well into her pregnancy. She is also paid through Instagram for her advertisements on her pictures, so if posting her bump in her underwear is making her money, who cares.
There are a lot of women who carry differently and are able to relate to this picture, as it can help attenuate the worries of their babies development if they have small bumps.
Tamedshrew also insinuated this picture hurts others with eating disorders. That is not respectful or helpful either because as someone who struggled with one I can tell you 100% this photo does not make me struggle with my self image, but someone saying that people who are proud of their bodies and are working hard to be healthy are hurting others or insinuating they care more about their appearance than their child does!
Also so calling her out on her lies in her post that this woman had an easy first trimester and cared more about her appearance than being healthy is telling the truth and spreading the truth not stirring the pot and if you can't handle some challenging lies and perspective then it's time to grow up a little bit.
Also, I don't really see the point in this thread. It always results in people arguing or getting defensive. Why do we do this to ourselves as most of us are already hormonal/emotional?
And those are my UO's today!
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
"Lurking" is put to show that you are from a different Bmb is most cases
Anyway, if I looked like that I'd wear the exact same thing and probably less if I'm being honest, because she looks awesome and healthy and happy and beautiful. Body shamers should be ashamed of themselves.
Also, I'm so tired of "political correctness".
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
*im just being facetious and bratty now, FYI.