@PinkLady2015 I am well aware that gender identity is an issue for some people.
However, I don't think using the word "gender" as it relates to a baby is feeding into bullying towards a transgender community. i just don't see how it's offensive in this context. I guess it's called unpopular opinion for a reason
@blondie080300 I totally agree and I don't see where the body shaming blowback is coming from.
The photo hit a nerve for me in the same way most gratuitous tumblr/instagram/whatever/etc. posts and photos would -- I'm an old fogey and I don't like the highly manufactured, meticulous, "perfected" nature of this kind of content. I'm someone who likes candid (vs. staged) photos so in my unpopular preference and opinion, they irk me. I don't care if it's a beautiful, fit pregnant woman or a muscled gym bro, I'm not a fan of gratuitous, over-edited, over-filtered selfies.
September '16 - May Signature Challenge Awkward Family Fun
I can't stand when pregnant woman use every 4 weeks to make them another month pregnant. 4 weeks does not equal a month at all this year, and when it does it's only one month. When I think about my LMP and my due date, they are 9 months and not even a week apart. How is it that someone thinks 36 weeks is 9 months pregnant when there's still 4 to go? No. You are not pregnant for 10 months unless you deliver at like 43 weeks.
Nope. Understood completely. not sure what part of "unpopular opinion" is going over your head.
The point is that when you liken the two terms with each other, you are reinforcing the idea that they are the same thing. Not just to your infant, to whom it obviously makes no difference, but to the people with whom you discuss that infant. If you know the difference, why not speak accurately? (It's really asking very little). I don't think that people who say "gender" mean any offense and I don't think they should be treated as such, but it does reveal some ignorance on the topic. When you liken the two, you discount the validity and very possibility of a transgendered existence. It's marginalizing.
The idea that we could identify as a gender that is different from our sex is SO outside the box to many people. People have a tendency to reject that which they do not understand. So if we can show a little understanding an maybe even spread that understanding, perhaps too we can spread acceptance.
Frankly, you don't know everyone's personal history with the topic, or how discussions of gender will feel relevant to them. It's not hard to imagine discussions about a baby's "gender" happening around a coworker or acquaintance who has transgendered loved ones in his/her family. It is about something bigger than you and your baby. It's about a really difficult paradigm shift.
In short, your opinion is unpopular because it's willfully ignorant.
While we're talking about body shaming. I think it's totally A-OK to judge a woman's presentation given the context of the setting.
Let's take pregnant lingerie photo. If I rang the doorbell of this woman's home and she answered the door that way, I'd say "You do you. This is your house, your rules." If I saw this woman dressed like that in, say, the grocery store. I would say "Wow. That is inappropriate. This woman does not know how to dress appropriately for the grocery store." Is it her right to dress that way? Yes. Does she open herself up to some judgement about her choices? Yes.
(You could change the situation to be less sexual and the same would apply. "This woman wore sweatpants to a wedding. She is dressed inappropriately. I'm judging this weirdo.")
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There is a time and place for everything. The internet is very much the wild west when it comes to that sort of thing, and I don't think the social norms are very anchored at this point. And maybe I'm old, but IMO putting your photos out on a public social media account is more akin to parading around in public, and less like hanging out in your own house.
@TheTamedShrew I think she looks hot, but without context that was provided by @Lindsayleigh1989 , the picture does feel humblebraggish. In any case, I would kill to have a bod like that. Thankfully DH loves mine, lumps, bumps, and all.
@ElcaB , so no donating to the Kanye West fund? Haha.
I got my first iPhone (the 5S) 18 months ago? And I think Android is way better in terms of capabilities and functionality. Yet, I'll probably be getting an iPhone again next (the 7) because I love how great the photos turn out and how easy it is to sync with my Macbook. I actually thought about the iphone/macbook combo because we were planning on starting a family. I wanted great photos, easy uploading, and a secure and reliable computer. Even though I think Android/PC is better, just not for what I needed. Lol. Baby pics and vids yo!
@RedMar hmm, I can't leave the house without makeup (including eyeliner). If it melts, have you tried an oil-free primer before application? Smashbox and Urban Decay make great ones. I'd also recommend Lorac's front of the line Pro liquid eyeliner or if you prefer brush, Mac's black track.
@frogdog06 thanks for the tips! I wear mascara, but eyeliner irritates my eyes and looks too "night club" on me for my work setting. I'm old school when it comes to makeup. There are like 3 products I use and go with the motto "less is more". Plus at the end of the day these days, I barely have energy to wash my hands let alone scrub pounds of makeup off my face! #pregnancyFTW
I kept quiet about this before, but I'm past caring now. I'm not going to lie, I was active on TK, TN, and another BMB before this. Never did I see another month board come and jump in like I've seen here. I'm not saying some posts didn't become public to the whole community and thats fine and to be expected, but this seems to be a single, specific month coming in to give opinions. And frankly, it's usually opinions that have already been expressed on the board. And don't bother telling me I'll get bored when this board gets slow. I know that from having participated on a prior BMB. I certainly lurked... without posting on the other boards.
@camichael84- I'm right there with you. I've done a BMB before, I was extremely active on Dec14. There were definitely times someone would say "Pop your popcorn, shit's going down on xxxx" and we'd head over to that board, and then come back to our own to discuss the wildness. This UO thread is nowhere near that level of a shitshow for others to find it entertaining or need to interject with opinions that have already been shared, as you said. I don't feel the need to insert myself into other boards...
While I respect people coming to the board and checking out posts I don't like when people take it as an opportunity to stir the pot and try to turn a seemingly respectful conversation into something else.
And no; I am not anti lurking, I know this is the internet and people can post what they wish. I am just voicing my potentially unpopular opinion.
Edit: half of my sentence got cut off
Not sure who your post was directed at but sorry the conversation that was going on was not respectful and I quote "Could you be more full of yourself? Do you even think about what kind of damage this can do to the pregnant woman's body image when they see this? People like this and Maria Kang and this woman just annoy me so much. Why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy?"
Tamedshrew also insinuated this picture hurts others with eating disorders. That is not respectful or helpful either because as someone who struggled with one I can tell you 100% this photo does not make me struggle with my self image,but someone saying that people who are proud of their bodies and are working hard to be healthy are hurting others or insinuating they care more about their appearance than their child does!
Also so calling her out on her lies in her post that this woman had an easy first trimester and cared more about her appearance than being healthy is telling the truth and spreading the truth not stirring the pot and if you can't handle some challenging lies and perspective then it's time to grow up a little bit.
To the red bolded: Speaking of lies and twisting the truth, why don't you point out to me where I said any of those things. I've already explained myself thoroughly, so please work on your reading comprehension before you go on the attack. I'm sorry you have struggled with an eating disorder and I'm happy that your interpretation of the photo is different than mine. You do not know my personal history or whether or not I have also struggled with such things, so please don't act like your experiences or perspective are the end all example of what other people feel or think. You can challenge me all you want, but do not come over from another board and claim that I insinuated things that I did not.
@TheTamedShrew , Right on. Apparently, the number one rule is never let what was actually said get in the way of a good tirade. But hey, they managed to build Everest out of an ant hill in just a few hours. That's pretty impressive.
While I respect people coming to the board and checking out posts I don't like when people take it as an opportunity to stir the pot and try to turn a seemingly respectful conversation into something else.
And no; I am not anti lurking, I know this is the internet and people can post what they wish. I am just voicing my potentially unpopular opinion.
Edit: half of my sentence got cut off
Not sure who your post was directed at but sorry the conversation that was going on was not respectful and I quote "Could you be more full of yourself? Do you even think about what kind of damage this can do to the pregnant woman's body image when they see this? People like this and Maria Kang and this woman just annoy me so much. Why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy?"
Tamedshrew also insinuated this picture hurts others with eating disorders. That is not respectful or helpful either because as someone who struggled with one I can tell you 100% this photo does not make me struggle with my self image,but someone saying that people who are proud of their bodies and are working hard to be healthy are hurting others or insinuating they care more about their appearance than their child does!
Also so calling her out on her lies in her post that this woman had an easy first trimester and cared more about her appearance than being healthy is telling the truth and spreading the truth not stirring the pot and if you can't handle some challenging lies and perspective then it's time to grow up a little bit.
To the red bolded: Speaking of lies and twisting the truth, why don't you point out to me where I said any of those things. I've already explained myself thoroughly, so please work on your reading comprehension before you go on the attack. I'm sorry you have struggled with an eating disorder and I'm happy that your interpretation of the photo is different than mine. You do not know my personal history or whether or not I have also struggled with such things, so please don't act like your experiences or perspective are the end all example of what other people feel or think. You can challenge me all you want, but do not come over from another board and claim that I insinuated things that I did not.
Nope. Understood completely. not sure what part of "unpopular opinion" is going over your head.
@thscary You're entitled to your own opinions, you are not entitled to your own facts. Sex and gender are two different things. I can't go around saying that a microwave and a toaster oven are the same thing. I mean... I can, but it wouldn't be unpopular, it'd be wrong.
@thetamedshrew When you stated "why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy" would be the exact point at which you insinuated she "cared more about her appearance than being healthy."
Sorry ladies~ public forum means that anyone from anywhere can post here. If you don't want people commenting on your thoughts on the interwebz there's this thing called a journal. If y'all want a private club that no one can see what you write except one another, create a private board. Otherwise, your posts are fair game.
I think it's time to jump off the bash @TheTamedShrew comment bandwagon. She said something that is clearly a UO and it started a healthy conversation till people read a little too far into her comments and put words into her mouth.
Im not trying to white knight but she's one of the nicest, most fair people on our board. Not trying to fight your fight but this is getting stupid. I loved her first comment after just glancing at the photo and skimming what she said but after reading comments, my opinion changed. That's the beauty of this board is that there are opinions but this is getting to be overkill.
@PinkLady2015 I usually stay out of any and all of these things, but I feel the need to speak up for what @Thscary is saying....she is not saying there isn't a difference between the two....what she's saying is that we don't need to beat a dead horse every time someone uses gender in place of sex...in a different context, it's very important to distinguish the two, but when discussing a party you plan to have that involves balloons popping out of a box, is it really necessary to comment every single time it's misused? Maybe they don't want to send an invitation to their grandmothers with the word sex on it (grandmas are old-fashioned like that....)
I have nothing wrong with posts being fair game. Again, this is not my first rodeo on the forums. I get how they work, and was here before the mass exodus when Parenting would stop in to police the BMB boards. This is something else that I've never seen and find odd. This is one particular BMB, and the same several posters, coming onto this board to state opinions that have already been stated and subsequently causing drama.
@PinkLady2015, I have no problem with lurking, or being challenged,but I already clarified that the six pack comment was in reference to the link I posted about a body builder who continued major lifting and intense workouts throughout her pregnancy. The subject of the article was her six pack/muscle tone, and how few calories she ate.
LOL of course it's a public forum. But unless you want your BMB to have a reputation that is not so stellar for intentionally butting your noses repeatedly where they don't belong, stick to your board. It's called respect. And the title of THIS board is still September 2016 Moms, for which you are not and won't be. Why you feel the need to keep coming back on what is a pretty typical UO post among other typical posts is beyond me.
Edited because I didn't like how my tone sounded super sanctimonious. I love this September 2016 BMB. Our board has been consistently respectful and non-argumentative. It's a like a rare internet gem. I hope lurkers from other boards will realize that we have a great rapport and tone that's important to us, and choose either to fit in with our style or choose not to participate in our board.
Re: UO
The photo hit a nerve for me in the same way most gratuitous tumblr/instagram/whatever/etc. posts and photos would -- I'm an old fogey and I don't like the highly manufactured, meticulous, "perfected" nature of this kind of content. I'm someone who likes candid (vs. staged) photos so in my unpopular preference and opinion, they irk me. I don't care if it's a beautiful, fit pregnant woman or a muscled gym bro, I'm not a fan of gratuitous, over-edited, over-filtered selfies.
Awkward Family Fun
I can't grow up completely though, I'm still craving beefaroni and ice cream sandwiches all the time.
The idea that we could identify as a gender that is different from our sex is SO outside the box to many people. People have a tendency to reject that which they do not understand. So if we can show a little understanding an maybe even spread that understanding, perhaps too we can spread acceptance.
Frankly, you don't know everyone's personal history with the topic, or how discussions of gender will feel relevant to them. It's not hard to imagine discussions about a baby's "gender" happening around a coworker or acquaintance who has transgendered loved ones in his/her family. It is about something bigger than you and your baby. It's about a really difficult paradigm shift.
In short, your opinion is unpopular because it's willfully ignorant.
Let's take pregnant lingerie photo. If I rang the doorbell of this woman's home and she answered the door that way, I'd say "You do you. This is your house, your rules." If I saw this woman dressed like that in, say, the grocery store. I would say "Wow. That is inappropriate. This woman does not know how to dress appropriately for the grocery store." Is it her right to dress that way? Yes. Does she open herself up to some judgement about her choices? Yes.
(You could change the situation to be less sexual and the same would apply. "This woman wore sweatpants to a wedding. She is dressed inappropriately. I'm judging this weirdo.")
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There is a time and place for everything. The internet is very much the wild west when it comes to that sort of thing, and I don't think the social norms are very anchored at this point. And maybe I'm old, but IMO putting your photos out on a public social media account is more akin to parading around in public, and less like hanging out in your own house.
@ElcaB , so no donating to the Kanye West fund? Haha.
I got my first iPhone (the 5S) 18 months ago? And I think Android is way better in terms of capabilities and functionality. Yet, I'll probably be getting an iPhone again next (the 7) because I love how great the photos turn out and how easy it is to sync with my Macbook. I actually thought about the iphone/macbook combo because we were planning on starting a family. I wanted great photos, easy uploading, and a secure and reliable computer. Even though I think Android/PC is better, just not for what I needed. Lol. Baby pics and vids yo!
@RedMar hmm, I can't leave the house without makeup (including eyeliner). If it melts, have you tried an oil-free primer before application? Smashbox and Urban Decay make great ones. I'd also recommend Lorac's front of the line Pro liquid eyeliner or if you prefer brush, Mac's black track.
ok I really need to be done with this thread now.
Please don't disown me for saying that.
@thscary You're entitled to your own opinions, you are not entitled to your own facts. Sex and gender are two different things. I can't go around saying that a microwave and a toaster oven are the same thing. I mean... I can, but it wouldn't be unpopular, it'd be wrong.
@thetamedshrew When you stated "why is a six pack your major priority during your pregnancy" would be the exact point at which you insinuated she "cared more about her appearance than being healthy."
Sorry ladies~ public forum means that anyone from anywhere can post here. If you don't want people commenting on your thoughts on the interwebz there's this thing called a journal. If y'all want a private club that no one can see what you write except one another, create a private board. Otherwise, your posts are fair game.
Im not trying to white knight but she's one of the nicest, most fair people on our board. Not trying to fight your fight but this is getting stupid. I loved her first comment after just glancing at the photo and skimming what she said but after reading comments, my opinion changed. That's the beauty of this board is that there are opinions but this is getting to be overkill.
side note: look at the abs on that cartoon beotch! My blump has no shame...