Momma Says NO!!

Re: Momma Says NO!!

• thebigoaktree member

  February 2016

  I believed I colored or player tic tac toe on the back of a placemat when I was out to dinner. However, one size doesn't fit all when it comes to every child. @Lindsayleigh1989 made a very good point about that. 

  
  

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• stillcozy member

  February 2016

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  You must be a FTM. Your comment comes across very judgemental. Good for your parents glad they found a solution that worked for them. These parents have also found a solution no one is saying technology is absolutely necessary they are saying they have  found a solution that works. There are many therapeutic apps and educational games and activities even books on iPads. How is this any different then what your parents did? It's just on a different medium. 

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• xc1148 member

  February 2016

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  I think a lot of things changed, mostly that people go out to eat more than they used to. People would usually be at home eating, whereas now so many people eat meals outside the house. So you see kids out more, and now kids have ipads, so you're just seeing it more. No it's not the only solution but it's the easiest so it's not going away!

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• mandyjulie member

  February 2016

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

   I think you might be imagining a 5 or 6 year old? When they are under 3 or 4 you realize you have to HELP with all those activities? Like be super involved in them? If you want a nice lunch with friends, and a break -- yes sometimes we need a break -- from puzzles and coloring and every other activiy parents do with little ones 99% of the time, then yes, an ipad does ths trick. Plus, puzzles have a million pieces you can lose. Same with crayons falling all over the table. An ipad is one conveinent thin piece. 
  
  This is exactly why STMs say "just you wait" because you really don't understand the logistics of trying to do an activity with a young kid at a restaurant, or other such scenarios, until you've been there.

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• RachelT1234 member

  February 2016

  Our parents, while our age, sure didn't use mobile devices and the internet like all of us. Things change, methods change. Who knows what I'll say no to (I'm a FTM), but I currently I don't have any expectations or things I'm saying "no" to other than the obvious safety precautions, etc.

  
  

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• Nikko Blue member

  February 2016

  When you've been sitting in a restaurant for a long time, and you've exhausted all of the non-technology options... You may find yourself making a choice between a screaming toddler and giving them a phone/iPad for a few minutes. If I had to handle this situation before technology, I probably would have to leave the restaurant early. 

  
  

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• DobbysSock member

  February 2016

  SparkySunshine said:

  Lindsayleigh1989 said:

  erinfey09 said:

  I am 100% on the no ipad train! It drives me mad when I see families eating out at restaurants or doing anything that should be enjoyed with one another and their kids are glued to an electronic device.. however, if we're waiting at the doctors office or grocery shopping I don't mind giving them a little entertainment to keep them from destroying everything.
  
  

  There are many families that need the tools to help their kids manage behaviors while out in about. Some kids have sensory issues and being out like that is very difficult and using an iPad can help them regulate and maintain. Just food for thought. To help think about that next time you are out instead of just judging other families. 
  

  I have totally given my DD (2 yrs) a tablet at a restaurant. After hours upon hours of driving and a toddler that's over it, I promise you would not be enjoying your meal if you were sitting next to us and she didn't have it. So yeah, like @Lindsayleigh1989 said, until you know the back story evey.single.time, maybe save the stink eye for when a parent is actually neglecting or abusing their kid.

  
  Yea... I'm all about teaching my daughter proper table manners and etiquette, and when we're at home we do not have electronics at the table. I also will bring other things to a restaurant for my daughter - like a little book, some small toys, maybe some colouring. But there have absolutely been times when we have let her watch a show on one of our cell phones to save the people we're eating with (not the mention the other patrons and staff members) from having to listen to our precious angel scream like a banshee or run around disturbing people. And if I'm paying for a restaurant meal, I'd like to get at least a few enjoyable bites out of it. It's not every time, and we try other distraction and entertainment techniques first, but I really do advise all FTMs to not judge parents for isolated instances of using electronics to keep the peace. Can you honestly say you'd side eye that parent less if their 2 year old was yelling or tantruming in the restaurant, or running around? The only other polite alternative is to take your child out of the restaurant, and that really sucks when you're trying to spend time with friends or family. There were many times when DH and I had to take turns eating while the other one stood outside with a fussy baby in the days before she could be entertained by 10 minutes of youtube.

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• DobbysSock member

  February 2016

  
  

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  No, it's not the only solution. But sometimes the other tricks you have don't work and then your options are distracting them with a few minutes of technology, leaving the restaurant, or just letting them lose their mind in the restaurant. And some kids will be better at sitting in a restaurant than others - it comes down to energy level, personality, and factors like how tired/hungry/cranky they are. Not to mention kids with sensory issues like a PP mentioned, who may need some help regulating themselves 

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• DataJane member

  February 2016

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  We went out to a family dinner for someone's birthday a while ago with our son and several 3-6 year old cousins. They all did pretty well but service took a while and by the end they all had a device of some kind to keep them occupied. I asked my mom how she would have gone to a nice restaurant like that when my brother and I were that age and she said she would have never considered taking us to something like that, she would have had to hire a sitter. 
  
  I personally don't have a problem with screen time in moderation, we've used a phone as a back up many times at restaurants when the service was slow or the atmosphere was quieter/less kid friendly. Now that my son is 4 he has developed the skills to sit through a meal with just toys or crayons but that's a a lot to ask of a 2-3 year old. 

  

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• noelietrex member

  February 2016

  Ugh this thread... Can I just say *eye-roll*? Maybe everyone should mind their own GD business and stop trying to poke holes in other peoples parenting. You don't know their life story! Being judgemental of other people's parenting doesn't make you a better parent. If anything it's taking energy away from what you should be focusing on which is taking care of your own family! For f**k's sake can this thread die already?!

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• MrsRo731 member

  February 2016 edited February 2016

  Lindsayleigh1989 said:

  erinfey09 said:

  I am 100% on the no ipad train! It drives me mad when I see families eating out at restaurants or doing anything that should be enjoyed with one another and their kids are glued to an electronic device.. however, if we're waiting at the doctors office or grocery shopping I don't mind giving them a little entertainment to keep them from destroying everything.
  
  

  There are many families that need the tools to help their kids manage behaviors while out in about. Some kids have sensory issues and being out like that is very difficult and using an iPad can help them regulate and maintain. Just food for thought. To help think about that next time you are out instead of just judging other families. 
  

  @erinfey09 - @Lindsayleigh1989 has a very good point. My SIL has autism and my in-laws spend every waking minute (outside of work) with her. If they want to get out of the house and have a meal, the ipad is absolutely coming with them. It's people like you that contribute to the mommy/daddy wars, honestly. One piece of advice - don't judge other families. You have absolutely no idea what my in-laws go through on a daily basis with a special needs child. 
  
  Also, aside from special needs kids, sometimes parents need a break. Maybe the parents spent all day with a raving lunatic child and wanted to get out for dinner. I promise you, you will have days like that. Hopefully someone else doesn't judge you for the way you parent one day. 
  
  @noelietrex - Sorry to bring this back; I needed to get this off my chest since I wasn't on TB all weekend. This subject hits a nerve with me.
  

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• megstervt member

  February 2016

  This thread....

  

  
  

  That being said, since I have not since my baby since my 9 week ultrasound, I'm still operating under the assumption that it's a t-rex (seriously, looked exactly like one).  Baby t-rex will not be allow to eat other peoples dogs and cats, that's a big no-no.  Squirrels that come into the backyard are fair game though.

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• erinfey09 member

  February 2016

  MrsRo731 said:

  Lindsayleigh1989 said:

  erinfey09 said:

  I am 100% on the no ipad train! It drives me mad when I see families eating out at restaurants or doing anything that should be enjoyed with one another and their kids are glued to an electronic device.. however, if we're waiting at the doctors office or grocery shopping I don't mind giving them a little entertainment to keep them from destroying everything.
  
  

  There are many families that need the tools to help their kids manage behaviors while out in about. Some kids have sensory issues and being out like that is very difficult and using an iPad can help them regulate and maintain. Just food for thought. To help think about that next time you are out instead of just judging other families. 
  

  @erinfey09 - @Lindsayleigh1989 has a very good point. My SIL has autism and my in-laws spend every waking minute (outside of work) with her. If they want to get out of the house and have a meal, the ipad is absolutely coming with them. It's people like you that contribute to the mommy/daddy wars, honestly. One piece of advice - don't judge other families. You have absolutely no idea what my in-laws go through on a daily basis with a special needs child. 
  
  Also, aside from special needs kids, sometimes parents need a break. Maybe the parents spent all day with a raving lunatic child and wanted to get out for dinner. I promise you, you will have days like that. Hopefully someone else doesn't judge you for the way you parent one day. 
  
  @noelietrex - Sorry to bring this back; I needed to get this off my chest since I wasn't on TB all weekend. This subject hits a nerve with me.
  

  I apologize. I was not trying to be judgmental and completely understand that families need to make accommodations for various reasons. I was going more for when electronics are used to occupy children when it is unnecessary.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Y0urm0m member

  February 2016

  erinfey09 said:

  MrsRo731 said:

  Lindsayleigh1989 said:

  erinfey09 said:

  I am 100% on the no ipad train! It drives me mad when I see families eating out at restaurants or doing anything that should be enjoyed with one another and their kids are glued to an electronic device.. however, if we're waiting at the doctors office or grocery shopping I don't mind giving them a little entertainment to keep them from destroying everything.
  
  

  There are many families that need the tools to help their kids manage behaviors while out in about. Some kids have sensory issues and being out like that is very difficult and using an iPad can help them regulate and maintain. Just food for thought. To help think about that next time you are out instead of just judging other families. 
  

  @erinfey09 - @Lindsayleigh1989 has a very good point. My SIL has autism and my in-laws spend every waking minute (outside of work) with her. If they want to get out of the house and have a meal, the ipad is absolutely coming with them. It's people like you that contribute to the mommy/daddy wars, honestly. One piece of advice - don't judge other families. You have absolutely no idea what my in-laws go through on a daily basis with a special needs child. 
  
  Also, aside from special needs kids, sometimes parents need a break. Maybe the parents spent all day with a raving lunatic child and wanted to get out for dinner. I promise you, you will have days like that. Hopefully someone else doesn't judge you for the way you parent one day. 
  
  @noelietrex - Sorry to bring this back; I needed to get this off my chest since I wasn't on TB all weekend. This subject hits a nerve with me.
  

  I apologize. I was not trying to be judgmental and completely understand that families need to make accommodations for various reasons. I was going more for when electronics are used to occupy children when it is unnecessary.
  

  
  

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• erinfey09 member

  February 2016

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  thank you.
  
  and now.. for everyone else..
  
  Anyone who posts in here is only sharing their opinions. Not meant to be judgmental, its just how we would like to raise our children. By STMs bashing on our opinions, guess what?? You're being judmental!
  
  I think all FTMs understand that not everything goes according to plan and everyone is in a different situation.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Y0urm0m member

  February 2016

  erinfey09 said:

  Sydney&Matt said:

  A lot of people have mentioned not using technology while others are saying that it's absolutely necessary at times... I'm just wondering what parents did before iPads or tablets?  When I was little, I remember my parents reading to me while we waited for our food or bringing activity books and puzzles to keep us busy.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology but is that really the only solution?

  thank you.
  
  and now.. for everyone else..
  
  Anyone who posts in here is only sharing their opinions. Not meant to be judgmental, its just how we would like to raise our children. By STMs bashing on our opinions, guess what?? You're being judmental!
  
  I think all FTMs understand that not everything goes according to plan and everyone is in a different situation.
  

  
  

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• nopegoat member

  February 2016 edited February 2016

  FTM's judging STM's parenting choices is like someone that has never been pregnant judging a currently pregnant woman for her decisions. How many posts have we seen here with women complaining that men or a particular friend/family member that has never been pregnant made a snide comment about something you ate, drank, picked up etc?!  Well...  It's the same thing.  Annoying right?! 
  
  ETA obviously this is within reason. If you're just being stupid and absolutely wreckless all bets are off.  My point is,  unless you have been  in their shoes you have no clue what you will do or handle a situation. It's great to have a few things to strive for. If it works for you,  great.  It doesn't mean it works for everyone. 

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• BostonBaby1 member

  February 2016

  Can we please 
  
  
  

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• thebigoaktree member

  February 2016

  
  I really wanted to use this one again.

  
  

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• BumpAdmin admin

  February 2016

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