Sick of people being so rude and discouraging to other moms on here.

rachel8718 · January 2016

I don't know if it's just me, but has any one else seen other soon to be moms being rude and downright hurtful to others in our birth club? This really is discouraging. Such a shame that people have resorted to putting others down. Even sometimes calling them stupid. Really makes me NOT want to be apart of any "birth club".

bearsandbeets7 · January 2016

There is a weird atmosphere on this board, I agree. I absolutely loved my last birth month board and I didn't even participate but this month just hasn't taken off. I think some comments may come off as hateful when the poster didn't mean it to sound hateful. But we are here to encourage, support, and be able to whine and bitch to each other about things that people in our everyday life get tired of hearing lol.

the_other_mother · January 2016

I agree. It's almost like some people want to make other people feel stupid or make them look bad, however the person that looks bad is the one making snotty, unwarrented comments. If you don't want to answer the question, don't comment.

DDRRT1982 · January 2016

Is this where we beg you to stay? Pretty please, we'll be good.

Let's use the following report from now on so that we can keep tabs of things better...

bearsandbeets7 · January 2016

Point proven -^

bananers · January 2016

Eh. One of the things I've always loved about the Bump is that people here usually tend to keep things real with a sense of humor, telling it like it is, and a dose of snark when it's warranted. This board is actually a little too puppies and rainbows, in my opinion. I'd rather we be real with each other. Offer genuine support where it's warranted. But don't blow smoke up each others' butts. Sometimes people need to be told when they're being ridiculous.

Mrsrundell · January 2016

I see both sides - sometimes I'm like " oh that's cute/good question/etc" and then they get ripped and then other times I'm like "oh goodness this person is gonna get a tounge lashing" and it's all supportive comments so, I just think it depends on people's mood that day ... It's all in good fun and we really shouldn't take any of this too seriously. Some people are just more sarcastic and snarky but, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves too. Also please post more memes people! I will snort out loud while DH looks over, so curious what is making me crack up.

nanner26 · January 2016

I second what @bananers said. ^^

This board is really tame compared to other boards I've seen. I'm on here daily and I feel the posters here are actually very supportive. The only time I've seen real snark is when drive by posters post something that has been asked 5 times already and we never hear from them again. People should learn how to use the search function. Also, this is an open Internet forum where you can't exactly dictate what others say or how they respond. If someone is more sensitive, an open forum might not be the best place to go.

I like how people are honest here and don't sugar coat things.

BumpAdmin · January 2016

Hi all,

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We will be closing this thread for further comments. Thank you.

WinterPumpkin · January 2016

Another vote for what @bananers said... This is the puppiest and rainbowest birth month board out of the three birth month boards I've been a part of on the bump...

tjest · January 2016

Hannah0726 said:
I second what @bananers said. ^^

This board is really tame compared to other boards I've seen. I'm on here daily and I feel the posters here are actually very supportive. The only time I've seen real snark is when drive by posters post something that has been asked 5 times already and we never hear from them again. People should learn how to use the search function. Also, this is an open Internet forum where you can't exactly dictate what others say or how they respond. If someone is more sensitive, an open forum might not be the best place to go.

I like how people are honest here and don't sugar coat things.

I don't have a search function on my app for the board, only on individual threads.

tjest · January 2016

tjest said:

Hannah0726 said:
I second what @bananers said. ^^

This board is really tame compared to other boards I've seen. I'm on here daily and I feel the posters here are actually very supportive. The only time I've seen real snark is when drive by posters post something that has been asked 5 times already and we never hear from them again. People should learn how to use the search function. Also, this is an open Internet forum where you can't exactly dictate what others say or how they respond. If someone is more sensitive, an open forum might not be the best place to go.

I like how people are honest here and don't sugar coat things.

I don't have a search function on my app for the board, only on individual threads.

Just kidding... Found it.

amandazap · January 2016

@bananers EXACTLY. Literally this board just started. Just wait until the 2nd tri. That's usually when things get going. Also, did I miss the "stupid" comment? Can someone direct me?

amandazap · January 2016

@Mrsrundell
Here ya go! Puppies and rainbows

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/b5/26lqptd34qd9.jpg

tinkerbell11210 · January 2016

I don't mind the snark it makes me laugh. Honestly this is very tame compared to the ttc boards in August. Drive by posters really received a lashing. All in all I think this is a supportive board. I think when questions regarding appointments and health issues are given honest supportive answers are given. You have to understand that not everyone on this board has the same opinions. I don't think it is wrong or rude when someone post a comment that doesn't agree with anyone else. They are entitled to their own opinion as are you the reader.

rachel8718 · January 2016

I'm not saying everyone has to agree with one another by any means. Because let's face it that just won't happen. I'm just saying let's try to remember we are all in the same boat so to speak and should be able to ask questions no matter how "stupid" we feel it is. A lot of us on here are first time mom's and a lot of us here arent. Thus happens to be my 3rd pregnany and a lot has changes since having my last as far as the procedures go. And I've had a lot of symptoms with this one I never experienced with my first two. And some of the responses on other threads to other members have been less than welcoming.

lucypod · January 2016

While I agree in general that rude/discouraging comments are wrong, it's important to remember that we are a huge group of pregnant, hormonal women. Another thing that's important to remember is that every woman on here is so different. We all have very different personalities and ways of communicating with others. Some of us are sugar-sweet and never have a mean word to say about anyone in our lives. Some of us get through our day using sarcasm, lots of cursing, and being extremely blunt to those around us. Even those two sentences are MAJOR over-generalizations because there are lots of us that fall in between. You could argue that every poster should sugar-coat every comment or question so it sounds super sweet, or you could also say that some should have a thicker skin. The point I'm trying to make is there's a way to be yourself without being disrespectful. I absolutely agree that no one should be called "stupid" or feel belittled for asking a question, but perhaps if someone answers your question more bluntly than you're used to, don't read too much into it. If it's a helpful response, that's great. If it's not constructive, ignore it and move on. While this is a great resource it's not the only place to get advice or support. Just my two cents.

Oh, and mamas... HAPPY FRIDAY!! For those of you up here in the Northeast, enjoy being snowed in this weekend

nanner26 · January 2016

^^^^^ This.

kcolly32 · January 2016

I think this board is SO much more laid back than the TTC boards. They have tons of snark but sometimes it's needed. People are just so sensitive these days, I don't think you can say much of anything without someone getting offended. Regardless we get tired of seeing the same questions and US pix over and over again. Especially when there's seperate threads for US pictures and a search function where most of these questions are already answered. Everyone needs lurk moar and get to know the board before posting is all.

texasmama2014 · January 2016

I'm not even sure of what snark you're even talking about. The "snark" on here is so tame its almost laughable.

smilormarie · January 2016

Bubblegum5586 · January 2016

I have to agree I don't think this board has a lot of snark at all, I am kind of confused by this post... I mean I did come from the TTGP board which definitely got snarky and sometimes I felt like I tip toed around there, but was FULL of great advice and before that the etiquette board on The Knot! Oh boy those ladies got real mean sometimes... but again... Good advice!

KUGirl09 · January 2016

You haven't seen snark till you see a multi-board gang up like the LadyAbagail explosion in 2014. I agree with the others above, its early for these conversations. Do I agree that calling names is counterproductive, sure. That shouldn't have to be said. Perhaps some introspection is necessary if you are seeing a trend happening. Are you frequently being snarked upon? Perhaps one of the reasons listed above in other comments is the cause, or perhaps the way you put thoughts to text needs some editing so you convey your message more clearly.

Either way, for the first timers on a BMB, this is a roller coaster, and trust me, you will eventually be the one to dish out the snark, and be a recipient. It happens to us all. You learn, you live, and move on. I'm now good FB friends with a person on my previous BMB that I thought was an evil Biatch on the board, but turns out, she just doled out some very honest opinions, which I came to trust and respect (and perhaps that happened because I wasn't a hormonal mess anymore from that pregnancy). We all see clearer when we aren't growing a tiny human.

Pepper6 · January 2016

I hate white Knight posts...

bananers · January 2016

On a side note, I find it funny this thread has been "closed to further comments."

JournoGrl23 · January 2016

I haven't noticed any snark on this board. The TTC board was full of it and was so much fun to read as we all tried to get through the frustration of TTC. I thought it was harsh when I first joined, but then I realized it was necessary. We got repeat posts daily with people asking if they were pregnant, which is against TOU in addition to the fact that we could never know that. There have been equivalent posts on this board mostly asking about gender. And I've only noticed people respond in humor because they couldn't possibly answer that question. Maybe what posters intend to be funny is being misconstrued as rude?

bananers · January 2016

JournoGrl23 said:
Maybe what posters intend to be funny is being misconstrued as rude?

I think you hit the nail on the head. The only snarky posts I've seen have been humorous in nature. Humor is one of the things I appreciate most about the Bump. Let's face it: there's not a whole lot going on at this stage for most of us and the multiple questions we can't answer (I don't know what sex your baby is), or that would be easily answered by Google, or that should really be answered by your doctor, can get repetitive. At least the humor helps us pass the time and distract us from being terrified of the precarious first tri.

DSMLove · January 2016

^^^^ Absolutely this!

Seriously, @bananers, I love that you're a part of this board. You've got such a great perspective on everything, and you write such awesome, intelligent posts.

Sorry, I'll stop being a creepy internet weirdo now.

ZedPM3 · January 2016

Honestly, if you look at other BMBs around us, this board is actually very, very tame. Everyone's different, and I don't think anyone tries to go out of their way to be mean or bring down anyone - what someone sees as blunt honesty others may see as being mean. I've found TB to be a very informative, no-nonsense community, which isn't the right fit for everyone.

amandazap · January 2016

KUGirl09 said:

You haven't seen snark till you see a multi-board gang up like the LadyAbagail explosion in 2014. I agree with the others above, its early for these conversations. Do I agree that calling names is counterproductive, sure. That shouldn't have to be said. Perhaps some introspection is necessary if you are seeing a trend happening. Are you frequently being snarked upon? Perhaps one of the reasons listed above in other comments is the cause, or perhaps the way you put thoughts to text needs some editing so you convey your message more clearly.

Either way, for the first timers on a BMB, this is a roller coaster, and trust me, you will eventually be the one to dish out the snark, and be a recipient. It happens to us all. You learn, you live, and move on. I'm now good FB friends with a person on my previous BMB that I thought was an evil Biatch on the board, but turns out, she just doled out some very honest opinions, which I came to trust and respect (and perhaps that happened because I wasn't a hormonal mess anymore from that pregnancy). We all see clearer when we aren't growing a tiny human.

OH...MY...GOD...Thanks to you I just spent an afternoon not doing work lol That was the most insane thread I have ever had the pleasure of reading. So many laughs...

texasmama2014 · January 2016

@KUGirl09 I remember that from my first pregnancy... Had to be MUD... Anyone remember thatkelsgirl? she was from June 2014.

lalalorelai · January 2016

I honestly have no idea what you are talking about. This board is one of the tamest, calmest BMB's I've seen on TB.

TB in general leans toward the snark a little bit more strongly than other baby forums. That's just the general personality that's around here. Posts like this doesn't usually serve to solve the problem, just to make it worse.

jmw386 · January 2016

@KUGirl09 and @amandazap - I have to admit that your comments made me search the LadyAbagail thread out. Um... that's just crazy. I'm not sure I would have even taken her seriously enough to respond.

bearsandbeets7 · January 2016

After reading the ladyabagail thread on A14 I rescind my previous comments and think that we need some snark to liven this board up! Anyone willing to take one for the team?

wlux · January 2016

@Lynnlove28 *cough* link it pretty please *cough*

tmk0325 · January 2016

I'm not sure I read the right Lady Abigail thread, however I did find a few others from A14 that were pretty bad. I'm so glad that it hasn't come to that in here or I would be finding a different site to follow!

Bookhousegirl · January 2016

I totally agree that this tamest board I've experienced thus far (including ones I've lurked around). This post for example would have been torn to shreds on my previous boards. I appreciate that there's more tolerance to questions but I don't want it to be any more puppies and rainbows then it already is. If we were any nicer, this board would be an entire thread of Google-able questions.

Mrsrundell · January 2016

How do I find the Lady Abagail thread?! Kinda overly excited to read it muahahahahahaha

bearsandbeets7 · January 2016

Go to August 2014 board and search ladyabagail. The original post is in FFFC, the one closer to the bottom of the screen I believe.

stillcozy · January 2016

*lurking from July*
Just so you know OP creating a thread complaining about your board or board members is against The Bumps TOU and is reportable. Also let the snark fly August ladies!

jwittwer · January 2016

jmw386 said:

@KUGirl09 and @amandazap - I have to admit that your comments made me search the LadyAbagail thread out. Um... that's just crazy. I'm not sure I would have even taken her seriously enough to respond.

I just checked it out as well.. I'm at a loss for words. I tried to do some creeping to see if this person was indeed real, but no luck.

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Sick of people being so rude and discouraging to other moms on here.

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