I am 13 weeks with my first . When is the best time to start planning ??? Considering risks of miscarriage. When should the place be booked? When should invites go out ? Who should be invited? ( should i invite people that i didnt have at our wedding ? ) ...any suggestions on places to register that arent expensive ??
You should not be planning your own shower. A shower is a gift to the MTB from a close friend or relative. It doesn't take long to throw a shower together, but if you have a specific place in mind, you should book it as soon as possible when the MTB is 6-7 months pregnant. Invites should go out 3-4 weeks in advance of the shower. You should invite people you and the baby's father are close to. I don't know what's around you, but Target, Babies R Us, and Amazon are good.
For real though, it's tacky as hell to plan your own shower, so just don't. Someone will probably offer to throw one for you.
I never said i was planning my own .... however no one has said theyd plan the whole thing but said i should have one.... and why can you plan your own events like a wedding but its forbidden to plan your own baby shower ???
You shouldn't be planning... Someone should be planning it for you. As for time frame, I'm 22 weeks along, my shower is feb 27 and plans pretty much just began for it. Invites are going out next week, and the only people invited are a few close friends and the women in my family. everything is up to you, but my advise would be not beginning to plan things until after your 20 week anatomy scan... You don't want to start planning now and then find out at your anatomy scan that something is wrong OR that you need to be on bed rest or something
I never said i was planning my own .... however no one has said theyd plan the whole thing but said i should have one.... and why can you plan your own events like a wedding but its forbidden to plan your own baby shower ???
A wedding is not a gift giving event. Just like your maid of honor should plan your bridal shower, someone else should plan your baby shower.
No. You shouldn't be paying for it. If you're going to pay for it, you might as well just buy everything yourself. And before you start trying to say that you don't think a shower is a gift-giving event, it is and we all know it is; they always have been.
And at a baby shower you are celebrating the baby .. everyone that went to our wedding brought gift or money ... as do all weddings ive been to . And any other event for that matter. We never expect anyone to pay for it all its rude. I planned my own wedding. Didnt have a shower and planned my own bachelorette.. dont expect anyone to do it for me.
And at a baby shower you are celebrating the baby .. everyone that went to our wedding brought gift or money ... as do all weddings ive been to . And any other event for that matter. We never expect anyone to pay for it all its rude. I planned my own wedding. Didnt have a shower and planned my own bachelorette.. dont expect anyone to do it for me.
A wedding, no matter how many people bring gifts, is not an event with the sole purpose to be gifts. A shower is a party with the sole purpose of receiving gifts. Baby showers are not celebrating the baby, they are celebrating the mother to be. If they were celebrating the baby, the baby would be here. Do you host your own birthday party and ask people to bring you gifts? No. Why? Because it's tacky to ask people to buy you stuff.
And at a baby shower you are celebrating the baby .. everyone that went to our wedding brought gift or money ... as do all weddings ive been to . And any other event for that matter. We never expect anyone to pay for it all its rude. I planned my own wedding. Didnt have a shower and planned my own bachelorette.. dont expect anyone to do it for me.
Ok then go be tacky and plan your own shower and invite everyone you know and tell them to bring you presents.
So i cant celebrate my own baby because they arent born yet?? Sorry i dont go by the books from long ago ... i dont care what anyone says i dont see a problem with it. i do have a problem with expecting someone to pay for everything for me... and if anyone doesnt want to go they dont have to .. thats what invitations are also for. Im done thanks for the suggestions and the bashing....
So i cant celebrate my own baby because they arent born yet?? Sorry i dont go by the books from long ago ... i dont care what anyone says i dont see a problem with it. i do have a problem with expecting someone to pay for everything for me... and if anyone doesnt want to go they dont have to .. thats what invitations are also for. Im done thanks for the suggestions and the bashing....
You don't care what anyone says? Then why did you ask? The reason someone else pays for it is because it's a gift to you. Do you regularly pay for your own gifts? Did you even bother to look at any of the websites I posted or did you just decide that they're all ancient history?
You have a problem with expecting someone to pay for everything for you? Then, why are you having a shower???
I am 13 weeks with my first .
When is the best time to start planning ??? Considering risks of miscarriage.
When should the place be booked?
When should invites go out ?
Who should be invited? ( should i invite people that i didnt have at our wedding ? ) ...any suggestions on places to register that arent expensive ??
I didnt ask your opinion on if i should plan my own or if someone else should..... thats a pretty hefty gift to get... so far ive paid for everything ... ive payed my way through college and our wedding and our house .. never once i expected anything from anyone. Im having a shower bacause i want to. If it bothers you so much then dont bother with me .
I didnt ask your opinion on if i should plan my own or if someone else should.....
thats a pretty hefty gift to get... so far ive paid for everything ... ive payed my way through college and our wedding and our house .. never once i expected anything from anyone. Im having a shower bacause i want to. If it bothers you so much then dont bother with me .
If I knew you IRL, I wouldn't. It's not a hefty gift. You can do a baby shower for under $200. You can even have multiple hosts if one person can't afford the entire shower; I have 3 so they can split duties and costs. I've paid my way for everything as well so...go us. You really should look at those websites I posted. I'm not just making this up.
I know you arent making it up . Ive seen it before . Doesnt mean ill agree. I know lots of women where im from have no problem with throwing their own .. and if someone else did they helped with it or wouldnt have minded doing it themselves.
I didnt ask your opinion on if i should plan my own or if someone else should.....
thats a pretty hefty gift to get... so far ive paid for everything ... ive payed my way through college and our wedding and our house .. never once i expected anything from anyone. Im having a shower bacause i want to. If it bothers you so much then dont bother with me .
You don't have to get defensive OP, just because you got called out. @DrillSergeantCat gave really good advice and was giving it to you in a straightforward manner because the "rules" and etiquette behind a baby shower are pretty simple. That's all she was saying. Just take the advice and move on. And you throwing a shower isn't bothering anyone on TB, but I bet some of your guests will be side-eyeing the invite when it arrives.
So i cant celebrate my own baby because they arent born yet?? Sorry i dont go by the books from long ago ... i dont care what anyone says i dont see a problem with it. i do have a problem with expecting someone to pay for everything for me... and if anyone doesnt want to go they dont have to .. thats what invitations are also for. Im done thanks for the suggestions and the bashing....
Sure you can, but that's not what a baby shower is about. Just because you didn't know the actual definition and purpose of a baby shower, doesn't mean everyone else is an asshole because we do.
We aren't making shit up:
"In some countries, a baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the mother at a party, whereas other cultures host a baby shower to celebrate the transformation of a woman into a mother".
Yes, people give gifts at a wedding but that is not the POINT of the wedding. The POINT of a shower (baby or wedding) is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. Hence, you don't throw your own. It's a gift to you. To throw your own is very specifically saying "buy me gifts". that is tacky.
And to make this distinction too- your wedding has nothing to do with who you invite to your baby shower. Two totally different events. Baby showers should be your "nearest & dearest" - not every person you know (which is often what wedding guest lists become).
As already stated it is extremely tacky to throw your own baby shower since it is a gift giving event. It is not like a wedding, it is like a wedding shower. The baby will not be attending, so it is not a celebration for the baby. It is to shower the mtb with gifts. If you want to have a party, then throw a party but don't call it a baby shower.
Here's my personal experience. I was invited to a baby shower by the MTB (this should have been my first hint that something was amiss) but I ignored that fact because I just assumed she was inviting me personally because it was pretty close to the date of the party. When I got there, I realized that she was actually hosting it and I felt uncomfortable and used. I felt like I wasn't there to celebrate her coming LO, I felt like I was there for a gift.
Like i said ... i didnt ask any opinion on " should i do my own baby shower" but sinse it was brought up i dont agree with your opinion ... i will have mine and you will have yours . Many ladies have their own opinions of this and where im from most would agree with me . It doesnt make us terrible people. There are worse things in the world. Goodbye.
I didnt ask your opinion on if i should plan my own or if someone else should..... thats a pretty hefty gift to get... so far ive paid for everything ... ive payed my way through college and our wedding and our house .. never once i expected anything from anyone. Im having a shower bacause i want to. If it bothers you so much then dont bother with me .
Um ok then you should just buy all of your registry items yourself and not have a shower. Instead of a shower you could have a meet the baby party after the baby is born. Or if you really want a shower then have one and don't have a registry. Saying you want to pay for the shower but then accepting gifts from all of your guests doesn't make any sense.
Like i said ... i didnt ask any opinion on " should i do my own baby shower" but sinse it was brought up i dont agree with your opinion ... i will have mine and you will have yours . Many ladies have their own opinions of this and where im from most would agree with me . It doesnt make us terrible people. There are worse things in the world. Goodbye.
You don't have to keep coming back and defending yourself. You know that right?
When people ask you "Are you having a baby shower?" they aren't specifically asking if YOU are hosting a baby shower for yourself. I side-eye the poo out of someone hosting their own baby shower.
But then again, after reading the posts, I am still trying to figure out why she "payed" her way through college, and it just doesn't make "sinse" to me. Just cannot wrap my head around it......
I will preface by saying that if you're willing to pay for your own shower, then you should just buy all your own baby items/gifts yourself and throw a regular party. Throwing your own gift-giving event is tacky.
To answer your questions, my shower had two hostesses. Invites went out 3-4 weeks before the event, and the major planning/coordinating (food and games) happened about 1-2 weeks before. Only family and long-time family friends were invited.
Eta: the shower was at my house and took place when I was 33 weeks.
When is the best time to start planning ??? I didn't plan my own, my best friend and sisters did, but I think they started planning when I was around 25 weeks
When should the place be booked? No idea since mine was at someone home.
When should invites go out ? 3-4 weeks before the event.
Who should be invited? ( should i invite people that i didnt have at our wedding ? ) ...any suggestions on places to register that arent expensive ?? Close friends and family. Whether or not they were invited to the wedding is irrelevant.
You should start planing after you find out the gender. If you don't want to know the gender you should start planning around 20-25 weeks. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to go get the stuff you don't get from the shower. There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it. Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
You should start planing after you find out the gender. If you don't want to know the gender you should start planning around 20-25 weeks. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to go get the stuff you don't get from the shower.
There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it.
Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
100% wrong. There are rules, you just chose to ignore them.
You should start planing after you find out the gender. If you don't want to know the gender you should start planning around 20-25 weeks. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to go get the stuff you don't get from the shower.
There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it.
Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
100% wrong. There are rules, you just chose to ignore them.
This. Jesus people. That post is actually comical. The rules of etiquette surrounding baby showers are so incredibly simple. People have even given links and yet people still choose to ignore them and do what they want. Those folks are selfish.
And entitled, quite honestly. The defense of "I was able to do it the way *I* liked" can't make me roll my eyes more. That's not the point of a shower. The point is for someone to offer you the GIFT of a shower and you shw up and be the gracious guest of honor.
Etiquette isn't law. BUT it is basic rules geared to make people cognizant of OTHER people and their comfort. the more that people say "rules don't matter/ etiquette doesn't matter" just shows how things are turning. And that turn ain't good. Again- it's a turn to being selfish and entiteld.
You should start planing after you find out the gender. If you don't want to know the gender you should start planning around 20-25 weeks. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to go get the stuff you don't get from the shower. There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it. Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
This is all I think of when I hear people say there's no rules. That is all I have to add to this discussion.
And entitled, quite honestly. The defense of "I was able to do it the way *I* liked" can't make me roll my eyes more. That's not the point of a shower. The point is for someone to offer you the GIFT of a shower and you shw up and be the gracious guest of honor.
Etiquette isn't law. BUT it is basic rules geared to make people cognizant of OTHER people and their comfort. the more that people say "rules don't matter/ etiquette doesn't matter" just shows how things are turning. And that turn ain't good. Again- it's a turn to being selfish and entiteld.
You should start planing after you find out the gender. If you don't want to know the gender you should start planning around 20-25 weeks. Just make sure you give yourself enough time to go get the stuff you don't get from the shower. There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it. Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
If you are such a control freak then you might as well have paid for it. You basically planned your own party and had someone else pay for it? Wow.
Re: planning a baby shower ... questions.
It doesn't take long to throw a shower together, but if you have a specific place in mind, you should book it as soon as possible when the MTB is 6-7 months pregnant. Invites should go out 3-4 weeks in advance of the shower. You should invite people you and the baby's father are close to. I don't know what's around you, but Target, Babies R Us, and Amazon are good.
For real though, it's tacky as hell to plan your own shower, so just don't. Someone will probably offer to throw one for you.
How do people still not understand this??
Good luck.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/baby-shower-etiquette.aspx
https://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-shower-planning-and-etiquette_1642.bc
https://www.marthastewart.com/274679/baby-shower-planning-and-etiquette
https://www.babble.com/baby-showers/planning-the-baby-shower-etiquette/
https://pregnancy.about.com/od/babyshowers/f/Who-Can-Throw-A-Baby-Shower.htm
https://www.keepandshare.com/htm/baby_shower/games/C04_Baby_Shower_Etiquette_-_Your_10_Most_Common_Questions_Answered.php
7 different websites and every single one of them says the MTB should not host her own shower.
You have a problem with expecting someone to pay for everything for you? Then, why are you having a shower???
QFP before the inevitable DD.
thats a pretty hefty gift to get... so far ive paid for everything ... ive payed my way through college and our wedding and our house .. never once i expected anything from anyone. Im having a shower bacause i want to. If it bothers you so much then dont bother with me .
You don't have to get defensive OP, just because you got called out. @DrillSergeantCat gave really good advice and was giving it to you in a straightforward manner because the "rules" and etiquette behind a baby shower are pretty simple. That's all she was saying. Just take the advice and move on. And you throwing a shower isn't bothering anyone on TB, but I bet some of your guests will be side-eyeing the invite when it arrives.
Sure you can, but that's not what a baby shower is about. Just because you didn't know the actual definition and purpose of a baby shower, doesn't mean everyone else is an asshole because we do.
We aren't making shit up:
"In some countries, a baby shower is a way to celebrate the pending or recent birth of a child by presenting gifts to the mother at a party, whereas other cultures host a baby shower to celebrate the transformation of a woman into a mother".
Baby shower = wedding shower
Baby being born = wedding
Yes, people give gifts at a wedding but that is not the POINT of the wedding. The POINT of a shower (baby or wedding) is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. Hence, you don't throw your own. It's a gift to you. To throw your own is very specifically saying "buy me gifts". that is tacky.
Um ok then you should just buy all of your registry items yourself and not have a shower. Instead of a shower you could have a meet the baby party after the baby is born. Or if you really want a shower then have one and don't have a registry. Saying you want to pay for the shower but then accepting gifts from all of your guests doesn't make any sense.
You don't have to keep coming back and defending yourself. You know that right?
Parties before the baby is born celebrate the mom, parties after the baby is born celebrate the baby. It's not that hard of a concept.
But then again, after reading the posts, I am still trying to figure out why she "payed" her way through college, and it just doesn't make "sinse" to me. Just cannot wrap my head around it......
To answer your questions, my shower had two hostesses. Invites went out 3-4 weeks before the event, and the major planning/coordinating (food and games) happened about 1-2 weeks before. Only family and long-time family friends were invited.
Eta: the shower was at my house and took place when I was 33 weeks.
When should the place be booked? No idea since mine was at someone home.
When should invites go out ? 3-4 weeks before the event.
Who should be invited? ( should i invite people that i didnt have at our wedding ? ) ...any suggestions on places to register that arent expensive ?? Close friends and family. Whether or not they were invited to the wedding is irrelevant.
There's no rules to a baby shower you can plan it yourself if you would like. I did mine, I didn't pay for though my sister and mother had offered to. I'm a huge OCD, control freak and I preferred to plan it. I actually enjoyed planning it.
Again there's no rules you can do whatever you want.
This. Jesus people. That post is actually comical. The rules of etiquette surrounding baby showers are so incredibly simple. People have even given links and yet people still choose to ignore them and do what they want. Those folks are selfish.
Etiquette isn't law. BUT it is basic rules geared to make people cognizant of OTHER people and their comfort. the more that people say "rules don't matter/ etiquette doesn't matter" just shows how things are turning. And that turn ain't good. Again- it's a turn to being selfish and entiteld.
Yes, yes, yes!