I also judge mamas who need to portray a perfect life. I was the jackass lady who did that before a baby. But now that I'm a mom, I feel I owe it to others to show my cracks.
Any perfect mom, I am a) annoyed, and then b) worried about her.
I try not to judge but no matter how hard I can't avoid this one...
I absolutely judge girls and guys who post one or more selfies a day... We get it, we know what you look like... Stop being so vain there's a million better things you could have taken a shot of. Just no... Stop!
I judge the latest generation of lazy workers. Those who need to be told what to do all the time. If not they stop and play on their phone or watch others work. Stop being so damn lazy and entitled. These are the same people who always say they should be making more money too.
I judge the latest generation of lazy workers. Those who need to be told what to do all the time. If not they stop and play on their phone or watch others work. Stop being so damn lazy and entitled. These are the same people who always say they should be making more money too.
Similar to the college students my husband teaches who complain when the material (eg. The Federalist Papers) isn't entertaining enough. He's not there to entertain you, kids. He's there to educate you.
I judge those people who post those things on fb that say stuff like 'if you don't like and share you're heartless' or 'keep scrolling if you're a terrible person' or 'anyone who doesn't type amen and share is not going to feel God's love' Or any crap like that. Basically, if I don't share this damned post, I'm the most horrible person EVER.
Well, I'm a terrible effing person because I NEVER share these things
I judge those people who post those things on fb that say stuff like 'if you don't like and share you're heartless' or 'keep scrolling if you're a terrible person' or 'anyone who doesn't type amen and share is not going to feel God's love' Or any crap like that. Basically, if I don't share this damned post, I'm the most horrible person EVER.
Well, I'm a terrible effing person because I NEVER share these things
YES! I love God, children, pets, elderly people, etc, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't prove anything for me to post it all over Facebook. I think it's the modern equivalent of chain letters
I secretly judge the parents who let their kids run around in diapers and nothing else. I have a friend from college who lives in WI and is always posting videos and pictures of her almost 2 year old daughter running around in diapers and nothing else and I feel like "doesn't this kid have clothes?" I can understand if it's really hot outside (and even then I don't personally let my kids do that) but barring that, put clothing on your kid!
@LaurenAnn0405 My DH is the same way! He can't stand when LO is out of her clothes for longer than 5 min, but loves her directly out of her bath b/c she seems so small then. I have no idea where he gets his logic.
@aresee DH is a professor and I judge those students that start any sentence with "You can't possibly expect me to..." Yes, actually. Course expectations are quite clear. Attendance and homework are expected. You are not a Speshul Snowflake.
If they claim they need special accommodations for a learning or physical disability, he requires documentation from the office of student affairs. DH isn't an asshole. He's said the students that legitimately need accommodations almost always work hard and try not to draw attention to it. The students screaming for accommodations rarely have a documented need but no one has ever called them on it. Entitlement. Jeesh.
@LaurenAnn0405 My kid runs around partly or completely naked a lot. When they can take their clothes off on their own, there's only so much you can do. Or maybe I see it as a battle not worth fighting.
Another Facebook one: I secretly judge anyone who posts one of those "This year December has 5 Tuesdays. It's the first time that's happened in 700 years blah blah blah."
Nonsense. It just means December started on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. Happens at least every few years.
In our area, the people who put Mt. Dew in baby bottles are the type of people whose kids always run around in just a diaper. Sometimes when the kid is too old for a diaper, IMHO.
^ this reminds me... I judge people who have juice in a baby bottle EVER... If your baby is old enough for juice he is old enough for a sippy cup.... When I see infants with juice in the bottle I think I am on that show "what would you do?"
^ this reminds me... I judge people who have juice in a baby bottle EVER... If your baby is old enough for juice he is old enough for a sippy cup.... When I see infants with juice in the bottle I think I am on that show "what would you do?"
This made me laugh out loud. The what would you do comment.
I agree with you @mjschenk- maybe I should clarify to add that if the child takes their own clothing off then I agree that it's not worth the fight but also I don't feel you should post it on social media. Just my two cents
I secretly judge....smokers. I know, I know, it's a crazy hard habit to kick. But I just don't get the appeal, I don't get why teenagers and young adults still stop knowing full well it will cost them thousands and slowly kills them. I don't get how millions of kids are being diagnosed with asthma and parents still smoke around them. I don't get how smokers can throw their butts outside but make a big deal about littering. Ugh, I just don't understand the appeal!
I secretly judge....smokers. I know, I know, it's a crazy hard habit to kick. But I just don't get the appeal, I don't get why teenagers and young adults still stop knowing full well it will cost them thousands and slowly kills them. I don't get how millions of kids are being diagnosed with asthma and parents still smoke around them. I don't get how smokers can throw their butts outside but make a big deal about littering. Ugh, I just don't understand the appeal!
I do understand smokers who can't quit.
But I don't understand people who START smoking now.
Smoking is gross. Smoking is harmful. Smoking effects more than just yourself.
But to those who have never struggled with the addiction of something...let me tell you...it is excruciatingly hard.
I quit the day I got my BFP but struggled for years to quit. You make excuses why you continue. You barter with "ok well if I just have this ONE.." There is no way to explain the feeling of needing something the second your eyes open from sleep.
I am an educated woman with an otherwise normal background, somewhat well-to-do by standards, and yet I still smoked for almost 5 years, most of it as my "dirty secret".
Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done and I continually struggle with it. I can't judge because I've been in their shoes and it is just...hard.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I totally judge women who drink alcohol during pregnancy.... I realize that some of you may get mad at me for this but it's how I feel.... If I see a woman drinking alcohol or smoking while pregnant I wished she would get arrested.
Me too ^^ Eta- smoking more because that's gross A few sips of alcohol once is ok but no need to have more than that. I think I maybe had 1 sip of wine while pregnant
I totally judge women who drink alcohol during pregnancy.... I realize that some of you may get mad at me for this but it's how I feel.... If I see a woman drinking alcohol or smoking while pregnant I wished she would get arrested.
Arrested?! Wow, that's like Saudi Arabia or some stuff. Science says a bit of alcohol in pregnancy isn't harmful, and we don't even arrest women whose babies are born addicts. Or men who smoke around pregnant women.
I don't mind being judged for my occasional (thrice?) glass of wine while pregnant. It's pretty crazy to me to think you believe I should have been arrested.
What happens with the arrested pregnant ladies? Should they have taken my baby from me? Should the taxpayers have to pay for my jail time? Is being arrested while pregnant more harmful than a glass of wine?
I'm definitely not "mad" at you for having this opinion. I'm flabbergasted, but I like having this space to discuss things like this.
(To play devil's advocate, I think having a gun in the house is WAY more potentially harmful than a glass of wine. And while I also judge pregnant smokers, arresting them isn't something I'd get behind.)
ETA: Guns are too controversial to be a good example. Let's use unhealthy food. A pregnant woman who eats crap all the time, all day long. So on the regular, baby isn't getting good nutrition. Should that woman be arrested? I don't see why she is ok but someone who has an occasional glass of wine but eats healthy, let's say, isn't.
Fantastic @virginiaunicorn11 . well stated. I had a couple tasters of beer while pregnant, sure (a taster is usually not more than a shot glass, or a shot and half. But I do not mean a shot of hard alcohol, I mean beer). I understand why people feel this way (no drinking), because fetal alcohol syndrome is 100% preventable. I get that. But also, women in other countries continue to drink in small to moderate amounts in comparison to women in the US, and those countries do not have a problem with fetal alcohol syndrome. I wish I were a number cruncher, I'd love to look at statistics on this. But in my feeling, having 3 or 4 ounces of beer maybe every other month (I mean, were talking a Quarter of a pint, or less, here)... Its like being hit by lightning. Sure, you definitely COULD be hit by lightning, yeah. But does that stop you from running inside when it begins to rain? No...
As an aside, I wouldn't shade a woman having even a whole pint every now and then. Not what I would do, not what I'm comfortable with, but a pint over an appetizer and lunch? Not so much. Not every day... It's hard to know where i would draw the line between shade and not. But seeing a random having a beer with dinner? Maybe thats the first beer in 4 months, i don't know. However, I knew a woman who went out and got white girl wasted the week before her baby was due because it was the holidays and she was tired of being pregnant. Totally shitfaced wasted. I shade her. Totally. (Kid was fine tho, just so everyone knows. Tho that is not an acceptable excuse for her behaviour)
I'll stand up and say that on more than one occasion I had a drink while pregnant, both pregnancies. Both of my kids are fine and actually have been ahead of the curve for development.
I agree with @virginiaunicorn11. There is a lot of research that shows an occasional drink is harmless. There is also significant research that shows obese women and women who gain too much weight increase risks for their baby but no one will ever vilify a pregnant woman for weight gain. It's also not in the baby's best interest to do anything that would prevent a mom from getting prenatal care, no matter the choices she makes. Criminalizing alcohol and drug consumption actually puts those babies at higher risk and does nothing to deter that behavior.
In Tennessee a mother can be arrested if her baby tests positive for any illegal substances. I also judge pregnant women that drink and smoke. I judge all smokers...especially ones with small children. The medical community actually recently came out and said no amount of alcohol is OK during pregnancy. This was a couple months ago.
ETA: the law says Tennessee women can be charged criminally for any drug use during pregnancy that causes harm to the infant.
^^my understanding is they said that because they don't know the limit of what's safe... and there have wen studies showing a glass is safe. but would love to read the literature you're citing
Re: I secretly judge...
*She gets outraged, and claims she never sent them. Mmhmm, k, Mom.
Any perfect mom, I am a) annoyed, and then b) worried about her.
I absolutely judge girls and guys who post one or more selfies a day... We get it, we know what you look like... Stop being so vain there's a million better things you could have taken a shot of. Just no... Stop!
Or any crap like that. Basically, if I don't share this damned post, I'm the most horrible person EVER.
Well, I'm a terrible effing person because I NEVER share these things
If they claim they need special accommodations for a learning or physical disability, he requires documentation from the office of student affairs. DH isn't an asshole. He's said the students that legitimately need accommodations almost always work hard and try not to draw attention to it. The students screaming for accommodations rarely have a documented need but no one has ever called them on it. Entitlement. Jeesh.
@LaurenAnn0405 My kid runs around partly or completely naked a lot. When they can take their clothes off on their own, there's only so much you can do. Or maybe I see it as a battle not worth fighting.
Nonsense. It just means December started on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday. Happens at least every few years.
Or "thanks Disney, if I share this I'll have a chance to win a trip of a lifetime."
Edit: I changed my username from jesshrou
But I don't understand people who START smoking now.
But to those who have never struggled with the addiction of something...let me tell you...it is excruciatingly hard.
I quit the day I got my BFP but struggled for years to quit. You make excuses why you continue. You barter with "ok well if I just have this ONE.." There is no way to explain the feeling of needing something the second your eyes open from sleep.
I am an educated woman with an otherwise normal background, somewhat well-to-do by standards, and yet I still smoked for almost 5 years, most of it as my "dirty secret".
Quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done and I continually struggle with it. I can't judge because I've been in their shoes and it is just...hard.
Eta typo
Eta- smoking more because that's gross
A few sips of alcohol once is ok but no need to have more than that. I think I maybe had 1 sip of wine while pregnant
I don't mind being judged for my occasional (thrice?) glass of wine while pregnant. It's pretty crazy to me to think you believe I should have been arrested.
What happens with the arrested pregnant ladies? Should they have taken my baby from me? Should the taxpayers have to pay for my jail time? Is being arrested while pregnant more harmful than a glass of wine?
I'm definitely not "mad" at you for having this opinion. I'm flabbergasted, but I like having this space to discuss things like this.
(To play devil's advocate, I think having a gun in the house is WAY more potentially harmful than a glass of wine. And while I also judge pregnant smokers, arresting them isn't something I'd get behind.)
ETA: Guns are too controversial to be a good example. Let's use unhealthy food. A pregnant woman who eats crap all the time, all day long. So on the regular, baby isn't getting good nutrition. Should that woman be arrested? I don't see why she is ok but someone who has an occasional glass of wine but eats healthy, let's say, isn't.
As an aside, I wouldn't shade a woman having even a whole pint every now and then. Not what I would do, not what I'm comfortable with, but a pint over an appetizer and lunch? Not so much. Not every day... It's hard to know where i would draw the line between shade and not. But seeing a random having a beer with dinner? Maybe thats the first beer in 4 months, i don't know.
However, I knew a woman who went out and got white girl wasted the week before her baby was due because it was the holidays and she was tired of being pregnant. Totally shitfaced wasted. I shade her. Totally. (Kid was fine tho, just so everyone knows. Tho that is not an acceptable excuse for her behaviour)
I agree with @virginiaunicorn11. There is a lot of research that shows an occasional drink is harmless. There is also significant research that shows obese women and women who gain too much weight increase risks for their baby but no one will ever vilify a pregnant woman for weight gain. It's also not in the baby's best interest to do anything that would prevent a mom from getting prenatal care, no matter the choices she makes. Criminalizing alcohol and drug consumption actually puts those babies at higher risk and does nothing to deter that behavior.
The medical community actually recently came out and said no amount of alcohol is OK during pregnancy. This was a couple months ago.
ETA: the law says Tennessee women can be charged criminally for any drug use during pregnancy that causes harm to the infant.