Working Mamas - When are you telling your job/boss?

1faceinacrowd · December 2015

Hey mamas. I'm trying to decide when to tell my boss about my pregnancy and was wondering what you all are doing. I have my first u/s on 12/23 (7w1d) and I'm taking the week after Christmas off, so I thought maybe the week that I get back, when I'm 9 weeks. Part of me wants to tell her sooner, because I'm sooo exhausted and nauseated most of the time right now and I think she'd be understanding if I told her I need a longer lunch here and there to just get some rest, but I feel like it's too early. Plus I'm salaried and rarely see her so I don't know if she really cares that I'd need to take longer lunches and such, if I end up doing that.

What are you ladies planning to do with regard to telling your boss? Do you think your boss will be supportive?

ZedPM3 · December 2015

I already have (and the coworkers in my group). Parts of my job include physical work so I needed to let him know sooner rather than later, and I'm good friends with the coworkers in my group so I wanted them to know why I'll be running to the bathroom mid-conversation or meeting haha.

All I did with my boss was ask him if he had a minute and then I said that I'll need to take 6-8 weeks off starting in August, and he picked up on what it was quickly.

Everyone's super supportive and excited for me.

btsrc5 · December 2015

12 weeks

Aug2016BBNY · December 2015

I am contemplating tell them (3 men) in January (not sure if before 12 weeks or not)... I work in a salaried office job and (subject to a normal pregnancy/delivery with no complications) will be proposing a reduced work from home schedule for 2 months (after taking one month off completely) in exchange for full (or nearly full) pay the entire time...the nature of my job makes it difficult to move up/be away from your caseload for months at a time. They are mostly understanding/family oriented but I also do not want to lose momentum in my career. I feel like I want to tell them before 12 weeks to let them know as soon as possible/give us time to work out the details of my proposed "maternity leave"...but I don't want all my coworkers knowing until they absolutely have to (like if I'm totally showing). I've already hidden it at multiple work holiday parties.

I think only you know when it's best to tell your bosses/coworkers. If it's a woman that has had a baby, she'll probably be more understanding. But sounds like you can take longer lunches/get away with not telling her for a little longer since you're salaried.

My m/s is getting worse so it's def hard to try to hide it without looking lazy...good luck with whatever you decide!

runsoncoffee · December 2015

I'm planning to wait until at least sometime in January, possibly beginning of February. I'm currently 6 weeks. My office mate is just returning from maternity leave the first week in January so I don't think my supervisor will be thrilled that another will be on their way out already, but I think she'll still be supportive. I am also undecided on if I'll return to work (or at least this work) following maternity leave, but I don't plan to say anything about that anytime soon.

lalalorelai · December 2015

Not until the second trimester. I'm salaried as well and if I need to take some time due to symptoms I'll just use sick leave. My office has a very generous sick leave policy, however.

pelorunningmama · December 2015

I'll probably hold out until week 11 or 12. That is about when I told them last time. Negotiating some kind of maternity leave is always fun so I want to give us ample time to figure it out.

Kristin712 · December 2015

No sooner than 14-16 weeks. No need for them to know sooner and I hate the idea of something going wrong and having to share that with coworkers.

ramoseecology · December 2015

Waiting until around 12 weeks (end of January). I had a miscarriage before at 11 weeks so I won't say anything early. I also have a pregnant coworker who announced at 12 weeks so it will be in line with what's been done before here. No real reason to need to say anything before then (it's a salaried office job).

Bubblegum5586 · December 2015

Between 8-10 weeks. That will bring me to the end of January and in February we get real busy with events and sometimes I have to carry a lot of stuff and just want my boss to know by then. I will tell my boss and HR first, then my department a few weeks later then the office around 16 weeks.

bjt12 · December 2015

I work in a salaried position in an office too but I work from home 4 days a week and my boss sits in a different state (our whole team is spread out and works remotely) so no one would ever know I was expecting unless I told them. So I'll be sharing around 12 weeks -- it's what I did last time and everyone was wonderful and gave us all time to prepare for the 3 months I will be out. Good luck too all of you, I know it can be nerve wracking!!!!

THATdisneyMom · December 2015

I'm a nanny and I have no idea. It can take awhile to find a good quality child care person so I want to let them know soon. And if I'm half as sick as last time it's going to be noticable.... I'm not quite 5 weeks yet so I have some time. I don't plan on returning to this job or working my entire pregnancy.

mouse1029 · December 2015

My first, I told around 12 weeks. Since then I've had a loss and am more concerned, so I may wait longer. If I can do the verifii again and get it back I think I will be more comfortable sharing.

cait5413 · December 2015

I'm waiting til the end of the 1st trimester. I am starting a job in August 2016 >< so our timing is really excellent! So, I will let them know when the 1st trimester is over so we can discuss how we are going to handle it. Technically, I won't be eligible for leave.

Bookhousegirl · December 2015

I'll tell the school in February when contracts come out. My returning will be dictated by how much time they're willing to give me off (I'm part time so it's kind of a grey area). I'll tell my private clients once I start really showing.

cabee310 · December 2015

I am up for a promotion in January and I think if they know I'm pregnant, they will postpone it until after my maternity leave. So I'm really hoping to wait until February- but I'll be 13 weeks then and last time rumors were flying at 10 weeks, and with this being my 3rd, I'm sure I'll be showing before that... Decisions decisions....

Tra1010011 · December 2015

I will be on my honeymoon when I hit 12 weeks, so I'm debating whether to tell my boss before I leave (at 10.5 weeks) or when I get back (just over 13 weeks). I thought I would be excited to tell work, but I'm actually kind of terrified. Whenever we talk about 2016 activities and travel, I feel like I'm keeping this huge secret and it makes me feel guilty. I know I shouldn't, but I've always been a terrible liar/secret keeper. My first ultrasound is on the 30th, so I'll come up with a plan after that.

kee1684 · December 2015

I already told my boss just because I have been so horrible in the mornings. This way if I'm going to be late he knows the reason why. The rest of my coworkers I'll probable tell around 12 weeks.

JournoGrl23 · December 2015

Since I experienced a loss, I'm afraid to say anything for a long time. I would never want my coworkers or bosses to know anything like that. My coworker who was pregnant last year didn't tell anyone until she was 5 months along. No one but me even noticed she was pregnant before that. I'll probably do the same thing. I won't tell until I'm obviously showing and then only if I am unable to hide it through baggy clothes. It may be obvious though when I don't use any of my vacation time in 2016. They'll assume I'm saving it for something big (maternity leave) so we'll see how long I can get away with it.

Kjack85 · December 2015

I'll let them know when I can no longer deny it aka showing to the max. I dont feel comfortable with sharing personal information with my boss or most people at my job.

Car0liiine · December 2015

I was definitely planning to wait until second trimester at the least but I've vomited at work a couple times recently and yesterday my supervisor looked me straight in the eye and said "Are you pregnant??" I tried to play it off but the point blank question threw me and I spilled the beans. I feel kinda weird that she and my husband are the only people who know (we aren't close.) And when I told her, under her breath she just said "oh I don't feel bad for you anymore." as she had been concerned about me feeling poorly lately. That kinda ticked me off . . .I really hope she has the respect to keep it quiet, I'll be really mad if everyone at work knows before I'm ready.

KGETS86 · December 2015

I have a wonderful relationship with my boss, so I've already told her. I had to reschedule my yearly performance review wither her, in order to attend my first u/s appointment. She's incredibly family oriented, and supportive, so I'm glad I made the decision to tell her. As a result, she's also making sure my workload stays manageable, which is an added bonus.

DataMom · December 2015

I plan to share with my work after the holiday break when I'm about 9-11wks. (Don't know the exact day yet. I want to wait until most of my coworkers are in one place so I don't have to say it multiple times.)
My reasons for this are:
1) I'm waiting to tell my parents on Christmas and there's no way I'm going to tell non-family before family. If it wasn't for Christmas being so well timed for a first time baby and grandbaby announcement, I probably would have told my family sooner and consequently told my coworkers sooner too.
2) I want my work to know asap in case I need to sit down unexpectedly or abruptly leave meetings to run to the bathroom. Plus, god forbid something serious happens, someone needs to know my status.
3) By 9wks, the miscarriage rate is pretty low (0.5-1.5%). Of course, it can still happen, but I think that's low enough to share. Plus, I am personally comfortable with my coworkers knowing if a loss does happen. If it wasn't for reason 1, I'd share with coworkers at the end of wk 7 when miscarriage risk is less than 5%. (Maybe sooner if I felt my pregnancy symptoms were pretty obvious)

DataMom · December 2015

Car0liiine said:
when I told her, under her breath she just said "oh I don't feel bad for you anymore."

OMG! What a mean thing to say!!!
Also, I wouldn't assume she knows not to tell anyone. I would talk to her again and clarify that you would like to keep this a secret until the second trimester. That's a pretty standard request, it shouldn't seem too strange.

Saraheherrmann · December 2015

I'm planning to wait until after my first doctor appointment on January 8th. It's actually great timing with so many people off during the holidays, so it's easy to avoid everyone. I think my boss and direct report already know, as I wasn't drinking at a recent work function and won't drink at our holiday party which will raise more flags. I know they will be supportive and excited, so I want to tell them soon, but also want to wait until I see the doctor to make sure everything is ok. Given this is my first pregnancy and we tried for over a year, I still can't really believe I'm pregnant!

charmedlifex3 · December 2015

After Jan 1. Our maternity leave is changing 01/01/16 - and I don't want anyone to say I "requested" my leave under the old policy. Nope nope nope.

But likely early Jan, as soon as I have a doctors apt to confirm it's viable. We have a small office, and a lot of downtime in Jan - Feb, so every one is very chatty / aware of every one else's business.

DoxieLove05 · December 2015

I will tell them around 12 weeks. I have a huge project at work all next year that is expected to end on 7/1/16 (EDD is 8/10/15). I want to make sure they are aware.

Its probably in my head but just this week along my boss has cracked 4 jokes about me being pregnant, one of them she flat out asked me, I hate to lie but I am not ready to spill the beans

Last week at the company party one of my co-workers asked as well. I was pretending to drink, letting my husband down my wine

Runrinrin · December 2015

I just told my boss today. I work in home health care as a nurse and some of the patients we see have infections etc. that could potentialu be harmful to a fetus. So I told them early so I could adjust my patient caseload as necessary

TCUFrog08 · December 2015

I have told a few coworkers, but plan on waiting to tell my immediate manager until after the U/S on 1/4/16. She has a HUGE mouth and will tell everyone. I will be 10 Wks then.

MSUgrad12 · December 2015

My boss is amazing and a mother of two. I am going to tell her after the holidays (and after my first appointment) because I know she will be amazingly supportive (social worker. Lol). I will hopefully be leaving my job before the baby is born, so it's more about her being understanding of anything happening that may pull me from work.

angelob88 · December 2015

I already told my bosses. I sit at a desk all day but because of my other two losses in case I were to have a third and need to take time off I wanted them to know right away. And with my u/s being Jan 19th around 9w I need to start FMLA early so I can take one or two hours at a time when I have to leave early. That way I don't have to waste my vacation time for appointments.

liladelphia215 · December 2015

Not sure. Soon though, I'll tell my immediate supervisor. I won't be returning to work and they've been so good to me. I owe it to them to give them plenty of time to find a suitable replacement.

l9i · December 2015

I plan to wait until about 12 weeks or so. We will be doing our annual reviews end of January/beginning of February so I just plan to bring it up doing that time as we discuss the coming year. I really don't want to tell people early because I sit by incredibly nosy people. I'm already dreading when the girl I sit by finds out and she won't be able to stop spouting off "advice" which will include even more stories of her terror children.

ThisisNumber3 · December 2015

Kristin712 said:

No sooner than 14-16 weeks. No need for them to know sooner and I hate the idea of something going wrong and having to share that with coworkers.

Agree. I had two losses prior and I just told my boss that I needed off for an unexpected medical procedure that came up. Legally she couldn't really ask for more details so thats how we left it.

I will probably tell when I can't hide it anymore.

Stephanie7693 · December 2015

I just told my boss on Wednesday. I've been incredibly tired and needing to sit down at unusual times during my shift. I only work once a week, so it's not going to affect him too much, and I get along great with my boss. He is always understanding when it comes to my kids, and he expects the same from his employees about his kids. But i won't be telling the rest of my coworkers for a few more weeks. We haven't even told our parents yet, but this time around I don't feel bad about telling others before them.

MrsMdO · December 2015

I found out a week ago today on 12/11. I was 4w3d along. I had a first doctor appointment the following Monday 12/14 to confirm, and told my boss the following day. I'm high-risk and will be seeing a perinatologist so I figure that I may have more appointments than a normal pregnancy. Thankfully, my boss is incredibly kind, patient, and his wife is a nurse-practitioner so he's also very understanding when it comes to healthcare. I'm an Information Security Officer for one of the agencies of the State of CA, and at my level I'm an "exempt" employee (equivalent to "salaried" in private sector) so even if I only come in to the office for 2 hours, I count it as working a full day. It's great in that I've been able to rack up my sick and vacation time so I can use it when I go on maternity leave.

1faceinacrowd · December 2015

Temoc&Elisa said:

I found out a week ago today on 12/11. I was 4w3d along. I had a first doctor appointment the following Monday 12/14 to confirm, and told my boss the following day. I'm high-risk and will be seeing a perinatologist so I figure that I may have more appointments than a normal pregnancy. Thankfully, my boss is incredibly kind, patient, and his wife is a nurse-practitioner so he's also very understanding when it comes to healthcare. I'm an Information Security Officer for one of the agencies of the State of CA, and at my level I'm an "exempt" employee (equivalent to "salaried" in private sector) so even if I only come in to the office for 2 hours, I count it as working a full day. It's great in that I've been able to rack up my sick and vacation time so I can use it when I go on maternity leave.

That is awesome!! I'm in a salaried position, but at this company they treat salaried employees just like hourly (if you leave more than an hour early, you have to use PTO). I haven't really figured out what happens if I run out of PTO... Do they stop paying me? Decrease my salary for the week? It doesn't really feel like a salaried position sometimes because of this. I'm envious that you get to actually enjoy the benefits of being salaried and save up that vacation time for maternity leave!!

hope+joy+love · December 2015

I am also worried about this. I am only 4 weeks 5 days, but we travel a lot for work and I have a trip at the end of January and ill only be 9 weeks then. We have a client happy hour event during the trip so I kindof want to tell because it will be less awkward when I decline the body scanner at the airport and booze at the party. However, I've had a loss and it makes me nervous to tell early! I might just tell my boss and the coworkers that I travel with and tell then it's not quite public yet.

Fremdschamen · December 2015

I think I will wait until after my 12 week ultrasound (NT scan), which will likely be mid-February.

However, when I had my loss at 11.5 weeks in September, I had to tell them anyways, so I don't really know why I'm again waiting till the 12 week timeframe. Also, my boss is going on maternity leave at the end of January until September (we're in Canada), so I am not really sure what to do about that. She plans to pop in from time to time and work a bit from home, so I guess we'll just see how it goes.

BritMC18 · December 2015

I had actually posted about this very topic very early on in this boards history. I was not planning on telling my work until after the 1st trimester. But... when you throw your hand to your mouth and run down the hall to the bathroom multiple times in front of your bosses and all your fellow employees... kinda hard to hide what's going on. So now everyone I work with knows.

angiebartlett@ymail.com · December 2015

After Christmas once we tell our family..I will make it publicly annouced..yes I will only be 7 weeks still early but with the appointments in January people will wonder what's up. And at least you could have support through out and everyone would understand where your comming from..o look at it when your ready to tell your ready. Plus I know my in law will want to post things on social media once she knows so better we just make an big annoucmrntd after family get it all out of the way and enjoy it?

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