I told my boss at nine weeks. She was happy for me, and I felt so much better getting it off my chest! Won't be making any big announcement until second trimester. I figured it would be best if she knew early because even if I experience a loss, I would want her to know.
I told my boss today. I'm 8 weeks. It was a weird conversation. She's trying to figure out a way to make me pay to bring my baby with me to work. (I teach preschool in a childcare center.) However, it clearly states in our employee handbook that it is a benefit of working there for people of my title to bring 3 kids in for free. So legally she can't charge me.... But she's all about money. So I have a feeling the next few months will be full of arguing and going over her head.
I'm planning on telling my boss after my NT screening on Thursday, once I can double-check that everything is still on the right track. I'm 12 weeks today so I'll be 12w 2d on Thurs. I already told one coworker, which I know is a big no-no to do before telling the boss, but we work in a very male-dominated industry and she's the only other female in the office, so I wanted to have someone to talk to. As far as I know she's kept the secret and it's really taken a weight off my shoulders. I think my boss will be happy for me but he might be a pain in the butt about the summer when I'm planning to go on maternity leave. Not in a bad way, I just think he'll want a lot of answers that I'm not quite ready to give at the moment.
I'm telling my boss this coming week on Thursday, assuming my NT scan goes well on Monday. Getting nervous-- I'm not quite sure how it will go. For those who have told their boss already, did it go well? Any questions you weren't prepared for or weren't expecting?
@ramoseecology -- For me it went really well. There were no questions and she was actually super excited. I asked her to speak with her privately, so we ducked into an open office. I started with "So, not many people know yet and my husband and I are hoping to keep it a secret for a while longer..." she started to smile and clap and almost squeal until I said "secret"... "but I wanted to let you know that I am pretty sure I am pregnant. I took three home pregnancy tests (because the first one was a really faint second line, a good scientist doesn't go with the results of a first test), but I haven't had it medically confirmed yet." I went on to say I am not really telling many family or our other office mates until much later, and said I looked forward to her support throughout the process. I told her how tired it was making me, and how the nausea can be inconvenient, and how it explained the memory glitches I had been having lately (and almost never have). She gave me a hug and said she was super excited for me. The funny part was us both putting on serious faces before walking back out of the office we ducked into.
She has been a great support since. She has been super understanding when I am feeling sick, especially when my migraines happen (which have been more frequent with the pregnancy). She is also helping me be less run-run-run at work.
Moms who haven't yet told your boss -- good luck!! I am sure it will go great!
Edit: I tell the rest of the office the day after Valentine's Day.
I have my NT scan tomorrow so probably right after if I end up going back to work. If not, sometime this week since at week 13.5...I can't hide this bump anymore. Super nervous though because I'm new to the company (3 months in) and my job as a consultant is pretty demanding (in healthcare). Afraid boss might think I no longer will be able to do this when the baby comes.
I printed this out and kept it at my desk and kept a little marker of where I was. It was a simple way of explaining what 20 weeks meant to the average person.
@greendogs1993 I asked the same thing since I planned to tell my boss at my new job yesterday after my NT scan (which is right at the end of your first trimester). I'm approaching 14 weeks so it was going to be this week or next week. We have in office days Mondays but due to the blizzard, I wasn't able to tell him as I'd like to have this conversation in person. I don't think it's bad if you tell them after your first trimester since most people do that out of safety/risk reasons. It's not a bad reflection on you as an employee whether it's a new company or not. Maybe what she meant was she personally prefers telling them right then and there. To each their own- timing of announcing your pregnancy at work doesn't indicate malicious/poor behavior on your part as an employee and they (boss/company) should respect your decision of when to share. 14 weeks is totally understandable. Don't let that comment get to you!
I'm 10 wks — due Aug 20th My first inclination is to tell everyone immediately. I'm so excited and its just my personality— I'm talkative and usually tell my work buddies about things going on with me. But I can't help feeling its important to take a cautious approach with this. I've talked to several older women — and the consensus among older women seems to be to keep it to yourself if its not seriously impacting your ability to work. I've been reminded by a few women that "In my day,it was not unusual for a woman to be fired when they found out she was pregnant"
I know we've come a long way, and i hate clinging to an old fashioned way. But I've been persuaded to follow some more experienced mamas' advice. I do not plan to tell people at work until I start showing. I'm not worried about being fired, but I do worry about not getting a promotion that I may otherwise get.
For now I'm keeping it quiet — although I do consider just blurting it out pretty much every day.
I had to tell my bosses because I'm a veterinary nurse. She discriminated and harrassed me excessively and pretty much forced me to into quitting. Stress that I definitely did not need since I've been super sick. *deep sigh*
@missypringle820 I am right there with ya! I'm announcing next week at 14 weeks. I had a risky first few weeks so I definitely wanted to keep quiet til I was out of the danger zone. Although I'm new at this company, when I tell them next week, it'll just show my work ethic that I have been able to take on my workload without making any compromises. Maybe this will give them some reassurance.
When I worked in retail, I told my boss somewhat early-- maybe eight weeks?-- because it was a somewhat physical job and I had a couple of dizzy spells early on. I wanted someone in the building to know what was up in case of emergency.
Now, I work in real estate so I'm alone or with clients a lot-- not really around the office much. I'll probably tell everyone at 12 weeks and keep my cell phone handy at all times. I have an app that I can set up to automatically text DH if I don't check in after a showing, so I need to get in the habit of using that.
@missypringle820 Your not alone. I posted my situation already but im holding out until I have my annual review talk with my boss because I'm afraid or not getting my raise and bonus. Sucks that really not much has changed for us woman that we have to worry but why chance it? Your still early enough anyways. I'm waiting until I'm 17 weeks.
UPDATE: I finally told my boss today! The anticipation of telling him caused greater anxiety than the actual conversation!! He was so happy and excited for us. Now, knowing I'm only couple months into my job, he said he'll find out some options with HR on maternity leave (company policy is you have to be employed for at least a year). He thinks leadership will be flexible so let's just hope that's true! I am so RELIEVED! I am happy that his reaction was so positive. I even told him I'm willing to work part time and come back sooner than 12 weeks but he told me not to do that because I just may need all full 12 weeks and that's OK.
Re: Working Mamas - When are you telling your job/boss?
She has been a great support since. She has been super understanding when I am feeling sick, especially when my migraines happen (which have been more frequent with the pregnancy). She is also helping me be less run-run-run at work.
Moms who haven't yet told your boss -- good luck!! I am sure it will go great!
Edit: I tell the rest of the office the day after Valentine's Day.
My first inclination is to tell everyone immediately. I'm so excited and its just my personality— I'm talkative and usually tell my work buddies about things going on with me. But I can't help feeling its important to take a cautious approach with this. I've talked to several older women — and the consensus among older women seems to be to keep it to yourself if its not seriously impacting your ability to work. I've been reminded by a few women that "In my day,it was not unusual for a woman to be fired when they found out she was pregnant"
I know we've come a long way, and i hate clinging to an old fashioned way. But I've been persuaded to follow some more experienced mamas' advice. I do not plan to tell people at work until I start showing. I'm not worried about being fired, but I do worry about not getting a promotion that I may otherwise get.
For now I'm keeping it quiet — although I do consider just blurting it out pretty much every day.
@llewel30 sorry to hear that!
Now, I work in real estate so I'm alone or with clients a lot-- not really around the office much. I'll probably tell everyone at 12 weeks and keep my cell phone handy at all times. I have an app that I can set up to automatically text DH if I don't check in after a showing, so I need to get in the habit of using that.