@jolydan the snark and brutal honesty are why I love the bump! It's nice to be held accountable or called out in a respectful manner. I do get that it's a sensitive subject for both sides. And if I will add one more reason why this was my UO today I overheard two women at the gym one who was fit and pregnant talking about how she felt fat and could never imagine being overweight and pregnant because she would be ashamed that now one would ever know they were pregnant or have a cute bump like she had. Obviously it was catty and they had no idea I was pregnant or could hear as I was in the changing room but gosh talk about hurtful. Thanks for reminding me that not everyone is a total b
Also my best friend Has worked very hard to get fit and naturally thin before and I have heard very hurtful comments about how she should appreciate her body and how nice must be and I know it's been a real struggle for her so thanks also for grounding me back to that.
I think in general women are just conditioned to always hate their bodies.... Even if your skinny I guarantee that girl is critiquing herself against some crazy unattainable beauty standard. I get that guys can feel pressure too, but it's just not the same in my opinion. A male friend was gloating about eating an entire pecan pie and some other guys were applauding this effort. If a woman did this she'd get some major side eye, and she'd probably never admit to this in the first place. I over hear girls all the time at the gym saying they're going to do a double (that's 2+hrs of intense cardio/weights) because they indulged over the weekend. I applaud their dedication but it also makes me a little sad that we have this tremendous pressure to look a certain way. And then there was the whole "dad bod" phase where men were viewed as attractive for having less than perfect bodies. Women just get scrutinized about how much weight and how quickly they lost it after giving birth. The whole subject makes me sorta ragey... I wish we could all just love ourselves and embrace our flaws!
My UO: I don't mind the pregnancy nipples. Everyone seems to see them as the downside of the larger boobs, but as someone who started out with small, pale ones... I'm just getting to the normal zone >.<
If it goes any further, I will have to re-evaluate.
I absolutely LOVE when SAHM's tell me they have no time to do anything like clean or do laundry (one even had to get a maid service)... REALLY?????? because I do all of that AND have this little gig called a full time job. Makes me RAGEY!!!!!!!! wtf do you do all day?!
sorry. not sorry.
Whoa. No. You do not. You do not do everything a SAHM does. A SAHM does not do everything you do. Staying home with children does not mean you have time to do laundry or clean all day. It means you have time to take care of your children all day. Would you expect a daycare employee to do laundry and scrub floors while they took care of your kid? Or would you get kinda pissed off that they were ignoring your kid to do other things?
SAHM =\= housekeeper.
I certainly am not disrespecting SAHMs (which seems to be how this is being taken...) I am talking about those who I experience - I'm not lumping you all together - and again this is my UO... To me you guys do work - you are taking care of children during the day - Flame me all you want for my opinion All I'm saying is that I somehow on weekends and at nights manage to do laundry, clean my house AND spend amazing time with my family - that is all. And the particular SAHM I am referring to has two kids one in school and one in preschool - so yes sorry - not sorry - that her 'I need a maid' comment BLEW my mind as a working mom! Truthfully, I respect women who stay home and those who work - we are two completely different breeds and as you point out we do and have different priorities from 8-5. Seems to me a lot of people on here are getting very defensive - whew!
I absolutely LOVE when SAHM's tell me they have no time to do anything like clean or do laundry (one even had to get a maid service)... REALLY?????? because I do all of that AND have this little gig called a full time job. Makes me RAGEY!!!!!!!! wtf do you do all day?!
sorry. not sorry.
Whoa. No. You do not. You do not do everything a SAHM does. A SAHM does not do everything you do. Staying home with children does not mean you have time to do laundry or clean all day. It means you have time to take care of your children all day. Would you expect a daycare employee to do laundry and scrub floors while they took care of your kid? Or would you get kinda pissed off that they were ignoring your kid to do other things?
SAHM =\= housekeeper.
I certainly am not disrespecting SAHMs (which seems to be how this is being taken...) I am talking about those who I experience - I'm not lumping you all together - and again this is my UO... To me you guys do work - you are taking care of children during the day - Flame me all you want for my opinion All I'm saying is that I somehow on weekends and at nights manage to do laundry, clean my house AND spend amazing time with my family - that is all. And the particular SAHM I am referring to has two kids one in school and one in preschool - so yes sorry - not sorry - that her 'I need a maid' comment BLEW my mind as a working mom! Truthfully, I respect women who stay home and those who work - we are two completely different breeds and as you point out we do and have different priorities from 8-5. Seems to me a lot of people on here are getting very defensive - whew!
Saying "wtf do you do all day?" is disrespecting. How did you think that would come off?
A friend of mine shared a room with a couple that did not want to feed their baby formula. She told me that their baby would cry all the time and the mom would burst into tears because she didn't produce enough milk yet. Both kept pushing hospital staff away when they would suggest formula. After about 3 days, the nurses said they will have to report them if they don't allow the baby to have formula because it hadn't been able to get the proper nutrition for those days.
My friend doesn't know what happened after that since she had left the hospital before it was resolved but I think its downright outrageous that there are people like that. If it doesn't work, move on.. stressing will only make it worse
If you've never breastfed and heard this, I can totally see why it sounds awful but I wanted to clear up a couple things. Breastfeeding can be seriously hampered by adding formula early on since it's a give and take relationship and the first days set up the mom's body for production. That crying and nursing is the biological norm and the way a mom's body turns on milk production. A newborn's stomach is the size of a marble and can take the drops of colostrum a mom makes and live off that for a few days until a mother's milk comes in. There is NOTHING outrageous about that at all. Without either of us being there, this story is obviously just a story but as a breastfeeding mom, I cringe at hospital staff that pressures formula. It's no different that a nurse admonishing a mother for using formula.
I agree, it takes a few days before your milk even comes in, so her situation doesn't sound all that out of the norm to me. I think its a big reason all new moms WHO WANT TO BREASTFEED should take a class or educate themselves on what to expect. Seeing a lactation consultant really helped me to understand and relax about it more. Also - shame on the hospital for threatening that mom, although as pp said, we don't know the whole story, but from the details you mentioned, they need better education on lactation.
Throwing this out there real quick. Its so much easier to keep a house clean if you aren't in it for most of the day. So I would almost guarantee the mess most working mom's have to deal with isn't the same as what a sahm deals with. It's not a competition though. Each has its own different challenges. If you are in a good groove and can get shit done. Good for you. Why do you care what other people are able (or not able) to do?
And yes asking, "WTF do you do all day" is pretty disrespectful and almost just as bad as a sahm accusing a working mom of not raising her own kids. It's an unnecessary jab that does nothing but fuel ridiculous and hurtful mommy wars.
ETA I want to make sure no one thinks I actually believe that working moms don't raise their own kids. I used that as a comparison to show how ridiculous and hurtful these type of statements can be.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I absolutely LOVE when SAHM's tell me they have no time to do anything like clean or do laundry (one even had to get a maid service)... REALLY?????? because I do all of that AND have this little gig called a full time job. Makes me RAGEY!!!!!!!! wtf do you do all day?!
sorry. not sorry.
Whoa. No. You do not. You do not do everything a SAHM does. A SAHM does not do everything you do. Staying home with children does not mean you have time to do laundry or clean all day. It means you have time to take care of your children all day. Would you expect a daycare employee to do laundry and scrub floors while they took care of your kid? Or would you get kinda pissed off that they were ignoring your kid to do other things?
SAHM =\= housekeeper.
I certainly am not disrespecting SAHMs (which seems to be how this is being taken...) I am talking about those who I experience - I'm not lumping you all together - and again this is my UO... To me you guys do work - you are taking care of children during the day - Flame me all you want for my opinion All I'm saying is that I somehow on weekends and at nights manage to do laundry, clean my house AND spend amazing time with my family - that is all. And the particular SAHM I am referring to has two kids one in school and one in preschool - so yes sorry - not sorry - that her 'I need a maid' comment BLEW my mind as a working mom! Truthfully, I respect women who stay home and those who work - we are two completely different breeds and as you point out we do and have different priorities from 8-5. Seems to me a lot of people on here are getting very defensive - whew!
Wow - Loving the attack - Again my opinion (based on a personal experience with someone), I stand by it, I will not back down because you all are taking it so personally. DONE... Yup one of them @Mamaolive, one of them!
I mistakenly read an article to my hubs about what you can, and can't eat while pregnant. I thought it was ridiculous, no food from a can, don't eat anything stored in plastic. He thought it was totally reasonable. Good thing he goes out of town 2 days a week.
Wow - Loving the attack - Again my opinion (based on a personal experience with someone), I stand by it, I will not back down because you all are taking it so personally. DONE... Yup one of them @Mamaolive, one of them!
Yeah.... Pretty sure you're the one who did the attacking. Keep back pedaling though.
Wow - Loving the attack - Again my opinion (based on a personal experience with someone), I stand by it, I will not back down because you all are taking it so personally. DONE... Yup one of them @Mamaolive, one of them!
If this was the truly the case why didn't you specify that? Your original post said nothing to the that effect. It was such a blanket statement about LOVING sahms that don't have time to clean and do laundry and what did they do all day?!! Of course people got defensive over that.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Wow - Loving the attack - Again my opinion (based on a personal experience with someone), I stand by it, I will not back down because you all are taking it so personally. DONE... Yup one of them @Mamaolive, one of them!
If this was the truly the case why didn't you specify that? Your original post said nothing to the that effect. It was such a blanket statement about LOVING sahms that don't have time to clean and do laundry and what did they do all day?!! Of course people got defensive over that.
This. If you were just venting frustration about one particular person you picked a weird place to do so. No one here is defensive. You were just super OFFENSIVE.
My UO is that if you cannot afford, love, money and time for a child you have no business having one. If you are missing one of those three then wait, no child deserves to be pushed aside because you don't have time, they shouldn't have to grow up in poverty and they should be love and cherished. (Please note I am not saying you must have a ton of money but if you cannot afford to feed, clothe and have a little extra for your child I think it is neglect).
life doesn't work this way.
Warning
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Wow - Loving the attack - Again my opinion (based on a personal experience with someone), I stand by it, I will not back down because you all are taking it so personally. DONE... Yup one of them @Mamaolive, one of them!
Have you read your post?? You were a straight up B! Again how did you think that would come off? And ending it with sorry not sorry. You made a blanket statement about sahms. Did you not think sahms might have something to say about it? I would never make a blanket statement about working moms because I have never been one, maybe until you have been there you should just shut it.
A friend of mine shared a room with a couple that did not want to feed their baby formula. She told me that their baby would cry all the time and the mom would burst into tears because she didn't produce enough milk yet. Both kept pushing hospital staff away when they would suggest formula. After about 3 days, the nurses said they will have to report them if they don't allow the baby to have formula because it hadn't been able to get the proper nutrition for those days.
My friend doesn't know what happened after that since she had left the hospital before it was resolved but I think its downright outrageous that there are people like that. If it doesn't work, move on.. stressing will only make it worse
If you've never breastfed and heard this, I can totally see why it sounds awful but I wanted to clear up a couple things. Breastfeeding can be seriously hampered by adding formula early on since it's a give and take relationship and the first days set up the mom's body for production. That crying and nursing is the biological norm and the way a mom's body turns on milk production. A newborn's stomach is the size of a marble and can take the drops of colostrum a mom makes and live off that for a few days until a mother's milk comes in. There is NOTHING outrageous about that at all. Without either of us being there, this story is obviously just a story but as a breastfeeding mom, I cringe at hospital staff that pressures formula. It's no different that a nurse admonishing a mother for using formula.
I agree, it takes a few days before your milk even comes in, so her situation doesn't sound all that out of the norm to me. I think its a big reason all new moms WHO WANT TO BREASTFEED should take a class or educate themselves on what to expect. Seeing a lactation consultant really helped me to understand and relax about it more. Also - shame on the hospital for threatening that mom, although as pp said, we don't know the whole story, but from the details you mentioned, they need better education on lactation.
Where I do agree with you that new breast feeding mothers should be taught on why they might not be producing milk, my main reason for posting the story is to say that if you can't do, dont force yourself. If a woman wants to EBF or give formula that is up to them, but is it worth stressing out about it and not feeding your child properly?
For myself, I do want to try breastfeeding but I know that the first couple of days milk production might not start yet or I might not even produce enough milk myself. I wouldn't know unless I TRY. However, I wouldn't want to stress so much about it that it will affect my mentally and physically everyday. Some of my friends went through so much trouble and they really wanted to stick to EBF, but they just couldn't and their babies were malnourished for the time they were trying. Yes, sometimes it's really worth it if you try your hardest but where do you draw the line?
@Chanfa The point is that in those 3 days, your baby's tiny stomach can be full off of just the colostrum that you produce. Your milk may not come in for a little while after that. Babies cry. That doesn't mean the baby is starving. If you force the formula before the milk comes in, you're setting up that mother for failure. Babies are also resilient little creatures.
@buttermybiscuit thanks, that I didn't know. I did learn something new from the UO thread.. okay and maybe I just skimmed parts of the other two responses, sorry
This is why when I'm going to be a SAHM, I'm going to make my children do all my cooking and cleaning for me. Kids stay busy, house stays clean. Win/win. Even better, I'm having twins, so I get twice the labor at half the price.
@jlgriff11 My boys are at an age where they want to do laundry, dishes, and run the vacuum. You want to vacuum my living room 6 times a week?....have at it son! I know soon they'll be complaining when they have to do chores, so I'm getting all I can out them now while they're offering! Although I think I've lost half my socks to the vacuum so far.
@Chanfa The point is that in those 3 days, your baby's tiny stomach can be full off of just the colostrum that you produce. Your milk may not come in for a little while after that. Babies cry. That doesn't mean the baby is starving. If you force the formula before the milk comes in, you're setting up that mother for failure. Babies are also resilient little creatures.
I hope this doesn't seem like jumping all over you but I'm just an enthusiastic and happy breastfeeding mom. This is for the OP and anyone else reading. I wanted to say It is SO worth stressing over for a few days for me and for those who want to do it. You save thousands of dollars, hours of shopping, mixing, and dishes, and you give your baby the food nature designed to be most perfect for him or her. You get benefits too, like a lower chance of developing breast cancer and an extra 600 calories burnt a day. If you want to breastfeed, read up now, find your support system, and be prepared to put in some effort upfront for a lot of reward. If you aren't interested, that's okay too. You're the mom. But breastfeeding doesn't "just" happen and in other societies women pass down information more than we do. You need an intention and some work at first but it is incredibly rewarding.
@flufflesprout if it was meant for me then I just want to say that I am not against those who try to breastfeed. Only those who try for months and stress out over it which I know can hurt milk production.
ETA : AKA those who don't know where to draw the line
Re: UO Thursday!
Also my best friend Has worked very hard to get fit and naturally thin before and I have heard very hurtful comments about how she should appreciate her body and how nice must be and I know it's been a real struggle for her so thanks also for grounding me back to that.
DH (30) Me (29)
DD - Oct 2013
#2 - July 2016
Saying "wtf do you do all day?" is disrespecting. How did you think that would come off?
And yes asking, "WTF do you do all day" is pretty disrespectful and almost just as bad as a sahm accusing a working mom of not raising her own kids. It's an unnecessary jab that does nothing but fuel ridiculous and hurtful mommy wars.
ETA I want to make sure no one thinks I actually believe that working moms don't raise their own kids. I used that as a comparison to show how ridiculous and hurtful these type of statements can be.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
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Oh. You're one of those.
DH (30) Me (29)
DD - Oct 2013
#2 - July 2016
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
July BMB May Signature Challenge
Married: May 16th 2015
Married: May 16th 2015
July BMB May Signature Challenge
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016