June 2016 Moms
bkzlexie23
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Natural birth vs. epidural - stories, regrets, etc
bkzlexie23
member
Hi guys,
I'm pregnant with my first, due June 2016. I know I have ways to go still, but all I can think about, 24/7 is the birth. I consumes my mind, and stresses me out so much. I feel like I cannot enjoy my pregnancy. I am going back and forth between a natural birth or getting the epidural. I know each has pros and cons. I will be giving birth in a hospital. My absolute biggest fear is that I might have to be cut. I cannot even fathom this. My doctor says the need for it can be 50-50 (which I think seems high, but who am I). But he is a very good doctor and I do trust him. I have done a lot of research and his reviews are amazing. I have changed doctors twice since before getting pregnant bc of their opinions regarding certain birthing situations. I don't think changing doctors again will make any difference. They all seem to have some opinion that I disagree with. I guess as a doctor in the medical field, this is what they are taught to follow. Anyway, I would love to hear some birth stories with and without medication. Also, I am very interested to know if anybody went through with a natural birth but ended up wishing they got the epidural. Thanks ladies
I'm pregnant with my first, due June 2016. I know I have ways to go still, but all I can think about, 24/7 is the birth. I consumes my mind, and stresses me out so much. I feel like I cannot enjoy my pregnancy. I am going back and forth between a natural birth or getting the epidural. I know each has pros and cons. I will be giving birth in a hospital. My absolute biggest fear is that I might have to be cut. I cannot even fathom this. My doctor says the need for it can be 50-50 (which I think seems high, but who am I). But he is a very good doctor and I do trust him. I have done a lot of research and his reviews are amazing. I have changed doctors twice since before getting pregnant bc of their opinions regarding certain birthing situations. I don't think changing doctors again will make any difference. They all seem to have some opinion that I disagree with. I guess as a doctor in the medical field, this is what they are taught to follow. Anyway, I would love to hear some birth stories with and without medication. Also, I am very interested to know if anybody went through with a natural birth but ended up wishing they got the epidural. Thanks ladies
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Emztron500 member
Hi! You need to relax
just write out your birthing plan, make sure you trust your support system (husband, doctor, anyone else who might be present) to follow your wishes as closely as possible. Accept that it may not go the way you want it to. You don't have to plan/manage every single possible eventuality beforehand. Your baby will come out. You will make it through. You will recover.Also, you totally sound like you would benefit from having a doula. If that's an option.That said, I'm going to share my birth story! I hope it doesn't freak you out. But I think you will find it interesting given the specific issues you are struggling with.With my first pregnancy, in the weeks leading up to my birth, my baby stayed very high. She would not engage in my pelvis. This is not entirely normal for a first pregnancy, where the baby is typically engaged by 38 weeks. It worried me, but what could I do? My midwife seemed calm. I was planning a natural birth at a birth center. Drugs would not be available. I wasn't very worried. I was excited!On a Saturday night 2 days after my due date, I started having contractions. It took about 24 hours for them to be at the frequency/duration my midwife had specified for coming in the center. I called my midwife and went in. I was basically not dilated at all. She sent me home. She told me the baby was still not engaged in my pelvis.I went home and did some exercises I found online that were supposed to help the baby to engage. They worked, but I shouldn't have done them (more on that later). After the exercises, labour stopped for about an hour. When it started again, it was 10x as painful. Gradually the contractions got close together again. I went back to the birth center at 9:00 on Monday night (I had been in labour nearly 48 hours at this point) and the midwife this time immediately recognized that I was "for real" in active labour now. She started doing paperwork and invited me to relax, make myself at home, walk around if I wanted, whatever. I started pacing around, but the next contraction that hit made me vomit. For the next 10 hours I vomited with virtually every contraction. When I was dilated enough to get into the birth pool, I did so, and it helped with the pain. My lower back hurt tremendously, and I just dug my fists into the base of my spine while sitting in the pool as my poor concerned mother shoveled ice chips into my mouth just for me to throw them up again. My midwife gave me an injection of Gravol and it did nothing to stop the vomiting. I was obviously feeling very rough but was still very calm and patient. I had no concept of the passage of time, I was all lizard brain. My Mum and husband took turns tending to me and trying to keep me hydrated while the other would go and nap (as this was all happening through the middle of the night). I had expected labour to be difficult and painful, and I figured it was going normally.My midwife checked my cervix at about 6am and told me that I was still a long way from delivering. The baby was descending very slowly. My water had not broken. She wouldn't break it because of the risk of cord prolapse because the baby's head wasn't low enough to "plug the hole", as it were. I was dangerously dehydrated, and I have very hard veins for anyone to get an IV into, especially a midwife who very rarely starts IVs and is trying to get one in when I'm already dehydrated. She told me I had to go to the hospital. I was shocked. I really thought everything was fine. The hospital my midwife could admit me at was about a 40 minute drive. I was still vomiting constantly and at this point was 8cm dilated...the drive was unthinkable. I decided to go to the hospital 5 minutes away, but that meant transferring out of my midwife's care, and into the care of an OB I had never met.We drove to the hospital. It sucked. Because I had not been intending to deliver in the hospital, we had to go through the entire admitting process when we arrived (normally you would do this well beforehand in anticipation of a hospital birth). I was the stereotypical pregnant lady literally screaming in a wheelchair in the ER while some woman demanded to know all my detailed personal information. Finally they wheeled me to L&D and got me into a bed, and the kindest fairy godmother of a nurse I have ever met immediately handed me a tank of nitrous oxide to take the edge off the pain. She needed to do more paperwork and input information, but first she gave me the nitrous, an IV of fluids, and IV Zofran. I said bye-bye to my natural birth plan and hello to greatly increased comfort. I only threw up twice in the hospital and then the anti-nausea drugs kicked in and I was fine.Over the course of the next couple of hours, I was given Fentanyl, which is a very lovely narcotic that made me feel much better for about 5 minutes until it completely wore off. They were only able to give me 4 doses. I was too far along for morphine or any other painkiller because of the risk the baby would be born all doped up. After all my fentanyl was gone and I was still in extreme pain, I asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist arrived quickly and it was surprisingly not a bad experience to get it injected into my spine. After he left, however, I was in the worst pain of my life. I literally felt like my body was being torn apart and would explode. The nurses seemed confused, and asked, "is it pressure you're feeling?" I said yes, it was pressure, but I was having trouble communicating that it was like the pressure you would feel right before your body burst open from the inside. It was unbearable. They told me "the epidural takes away pain, not pressure" and I burst into tears - I couldn't believe I had finally accepted this huge intervention and it had done absolutely nothing to relieve the pain. I guess they clued in that something was wrong, though, and brought the anesthesiologist back. What was happening, aside from the epidural not working, was my water had STILL not broken and there was a pocket of fluid over the baby's head. Every contraction caused more fluid to push into that little pocket, which then expanded hugely against my cervix and made it feel like I was a balloon about to burst. They fixed the epidural, then the OB came and (finally) broke my water, and I felt a thousand times better and fell asleep.When I woke up I could feel my contractions but they were much less painful. After being awake and chatting with my Mum, husband, and some sisters who had come to visit for a few hours, a nurse came in and put in a catheter (because you can't get up and pee normally with an epidural - this sucked a lot more than getting the epidural itself). Finally at 3:00 pm on Tuesday, a nurse practitioner came in and told me I could start pushing. After pushing through two contractions, she told me to stop and ran and got the OB. They were muttering about something unusual but I was distracted by my single-minded determination to get that baby OUT. At 3:35pm she was delivered, and the doctor exclaimed "sunny side-up!" That whole time, I had NO IDEA my baby was posterior - meaning she was facing up towards the ceiling (relative to me lying on my back) rather than facing the ground. My midwife and my nurses and doctor also had no idea until they saw her coming down the birth canal. That was why she wouldn't engage in my pelvis, that was why when I "forced" her to engage even though she was in the wrong position, labour was soooo slow and sooooo painful. My poor baby girl had the smooshiest cone-head and a huge bruise on her forehead, but she was out and she was safe and healthy. Every other birth story I've heard that was similar to my own ended with a C-section, and I do credit the fact that I spent most of my time labouring at home and at the birth center with making the doctors a little more patient with me and allowing me to take 9 hours to go from 8cm to ready to push. FWIW - no one cut me, and I had only minor first degree tearing. Most of my post-partum discomfort was related to the catheter, not the tearing.I was sad about my intervention-heavy birth. In the moment, when I got the drugs, relief was overwhelming, and I do not regret the decision to have an epidural in any way. It allowed me to sleep and rest and make it through the end of my long labour, and when my baby came I was ready to enjoy her and bond with her. I also learned afterwards that in my situation (posterior baby, slow progression) an epidural is actually helpful in moving labour along, as the mother is often extremely tense and in a great deal of pain and the most helpful thing is for her to be able to relax. In most situations, however, an epidural does slow labour somewhat, which is why I was nervous of it in the first place. My 2 pregnant friends delivered in the 2 weeks after I had my baby, and they both had totally natural homebirths. I was happy for them but it also made me feel sad and jealous and inadequate. But it is what it is.For this next birth, I am planning a natural homebirth. I want to try again and have the birth I didn't get to the first time. But it might not work out. And that's ok. -
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MDKC14 member
First thing to remember is that your birth goal sheet is just that, a goal you'd like to reach. I will not lie, my first went exactly as I planned/wanted. I went all natural, I didn't tear or need cut, I only pushed for 15 minutes. It was great. But I'm not expecting that with this one because all births are different. All I can do is write out another goal sheet and go with the flow.
Looking back on it I flip flop on whether or not I should have gotten the epidural. I didn't say no to it because I don't believe in it etc. I said no because the idea of a giant needle being inserted in my spine terrified me more than something my body was designed to do. I sometimes wish I'd gotten it so I could have mingled a little more with everyone who was in the room before I started pushing. I wanted to celebrate with my family that we were about to welcome a new life but all I could do was focus on the contractions. My MIL gently reminds me when I bring it up that no one was there to visit and they weren't expecting anything different than just sitting quietly and waiting. When it came time to push I was so tired that when they offered a mirror so I could watch him being born I refused so I could just get it done. Its the only part I regret from the whole thing.
Just remember, you can set plans and goals but don't be upset if something has to be changed. In the end you'll make the best decision for you and LO.
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There is no other medical situation ever where people turn down pain relief because they want to experience it naturally (ever heard of someone embracing an unmedicated migraine? Didn't think so). Just my 2 cents
ETA: I was induced, did 30hrs of labor (half unmediated) and we tried everything from getting in the bathtub to forceps. I ended up with an emergency CS, but no regrets!
DS2 5-18-2014
DD1 EDD 6-21-2016
My plan going in is no epidural for as long as I can stand it only because epidurals do slow labor progression and I want to avoid pitocin or a csection due to labor not progressing. Other than that, I am okay with whatever they need to do to get the baby out safely, even if it means a cesarean.
***Trigger Warning: loss - my cousin opted out of a csection because she wanted a natural labor. I don't know the whole story because she doesn't like to talk about it but from what I know, her baby ended up losing his oxygen supply and dying in utero during labor. To me, THAT is my absolute biggest fear. It's rare but it does happen, even in hospitals **
In response to OP... I used the self meditation that I practiced over the years while trying to manage migraine pain and applied that during labor and had an amazing med free birth with my first. It's possible and doable but I would suggest to anyone looking at a med free birth, to take the natural birthing classes and practice those methods daily prior to going into labor. You can do it without the preparation but I would imagine it would be much harder.
Ultimately the most important thing is that you and baby are safe and your dr is there to ensure that happens. As other PP have mentioned, you can have a plan but please try to be open minded.
DS2 5-18-2014
DD1 EDD 6-21-2016
With my son I went into labor after dinner at it lasted 17 hours. After 12 hours I was so sick and my progression had stalled. I got the epi, and he came with only 10 minutes of pushing a few hors later. No cut, but a small rip.
With dd my labor was only 3 hours. By the time I showered, we dropped off my son, and got to the hospital I was 8-9 cm dilated. We were in the hospital less than 30 minutes before she was born. No cut, very, very small rip and the fastest physical recovery I could imagine.
Both very different, but good experiences with the end result of happy healthy baby at the end. My advice would be allow yourself to be flexible. Don't set yourself up to be disappointed if you need an epi but hasn't planed on it, or the other way around. Be informed, have a plan, and be ready to listen to your body and change the plan as necessary.
I too have heard episiotomies were no longer standard - and tearing naturally was (in most cases) the preferred scenario? but seriously - I don't even know where I read/heard that.
I could be totally wrong, I'm going off my high school health teacher in our childbirth unit. Essentially took a sheet of paper and tore it against the grain on one side and snipped it with scissors on the other and said "ladies, which would you prefer, which do you think is easier to repair?". Very simple demonstration but I remember it clear as day 10 years later.
And, OP - ditto to everyone else. Go in with an open mind. If you decide you would like to have a natural birth - I'd suggest preparing for it by taking pre-natal classes focused on natural child birth. And agree with a pp that if you are adamant one way or another about episiotomies to tell your doctor up front so he/she can accommodate your wishes.
I've had both types of labours - medicated and unmediated. I preferred the latter for a variety of reasons - and didn't regret not having the epidural (unless you asked me when I was about 7cm dialated and going through transition...
)
Try not to stress too much about the birth just yet - do your research - know that you have lots of time to come to terms with a birth plan and most importantly remember that an open mind is the most important tool you can have in planning right now
I too have heard episiotomies were no longer standard - and tearing naturally was (in most cases) the preferred scenario? but seriously - I don't even know where I read/heard that.
Tearing is actually preferred because your body will naturally tear at the weakest point so it will heal easier. It will also only tear as much as needed. I know there are horror stories of really bad tears but those are the exception and not the rule. There are tons of studies to back this up and most doctors won't do an episiotomy anymore.I really wanted to avoid an epidural for a number of reasons, none of which included trying to be a "hero" or thinking I deserve a medal or whatever. I know no one here has said that yet, but those arguments really bug me. I wanted to be able to move around during labor and try different birthing positions, I didn't want the added risks of punctured dura or the chance that it would only work on half of my body, I didn't want the risk of added recovery time or spinal headache after birth, I didn't want the risk of it slowing my labor, and I also just feel more comfortable when I can feel my body and be present. I know plenty of people have had great experiences and no problems with epidurals, but for me the benefits don't outweigh the risks.
I didn't have any pain medication with DS and while it was probably the most intense experience of my life, I felt amazing after he was born and I was really glad I had the freedom of movement the whole time and could get up right after.
ETA- Sorry if that seems kind of ranty lol
Third time mom here. The best advice I can give is to educate yourself but not to hold too tightly to any expectations. Take it as it comes and do what's best for your and baby's health and well-being. Stay on the curious side and don't go to fear. When our bodies are in a state of fear, we release stress hormones that make the process more difficult. Though, do expect that it's going to hurt and that you can do it.
All this said, I had two pain-med free, complication free, intervention free births when I thought, without a doubt, I would want an epidural the minute I was in the door. Didn't happen. I can't help but think I can do it again. But I don't know what this birth or baby will bring to the table. So, I'm working to just take it as it comes instead of holding tightly to the idea that this will be like the first two.
Oh I didn't mean 'not be a hero' in that sense @courtjack. I used that 100% for myself and my expectations for myself. I think whatever each person chooses is right for them, like many things in life, no one should ever judge what people choose to do for themselves, just to always be prepared that things can/may change:)
This post makes me snarky, but I will do my best to refrain from that.
With my first, I didn't have much of a plan going into my induction at 40+2. I was totally going to go with the flow and see where labor took me. During the first doctor check, after the pit started working and the contractions started rolling, my doctor calmly asked if I was ready for the epidural. I meekly answered, "yes please." All the deep breathing and mediation in the world weren't going to take that pain away. Contractions hurt like a motherfuc*er. So I labored for awhile, the doc broke my water, and then the fun really started. My blood pressure plummeted, I was put on oxygen, and the baby's heartbeat was dropping with every contraction. I never made it past 7 cm. My doctor called for an emergency c section. Turns out baby was sunny side up, and the cord was wrapped around baby's neck and cutting off blood/oxygen supply with every contraction. If I had resisted, I wouldn't have a healthy 2.5 year old today.
So, like everyone else said, keep an open mind and be willing to do WHATEVER it takes to get your beautiful baby into this world safely. And there's no need to be a martyr. Epidurals are the jam.
I think that's what I meant to? lol. I meant 'not being a hero' was never an argument I liked. Opting for no epidural had nothing to do with thinking I deserved a medal.
Man maybe my brain is fried today - I really did mean to agree with you. lol.
Personally I would like to be pumped with so many drugs I won't know what year it is or who the president is!!!!
Best advice ever: start taking metamucil before yoh go into labour.... no one told me that and you so wish you had started earlier (and not three days after)
When I had my DS, I had to be induced because at 40+1, I wasn't dilated at all. At our hospital, with FTM, they "ripen the cervix" the night before inducing. So I went in at 9:00 to get the medication to ripen the cervix with the plan to take Pitocin the next morning. Within an hour of ripening my cervix, I started having the worst contractions and was in the worst pain ever! I knew I wanted to do an epidural but kept thinking it was too early. So I waited. I finally couldn't wait any longer and got the epidural. It turned out that they didn't have to induce me because the other medication put me into labor. I was only in labor for three hours but then pushed for three hours. I couldn't really feel my legs but I still felt the pressure of the contractions and pushing the baby out. I know that I tore, but the doctor never told me much about it which was probably for the best.
I knew that I wanted an epidural, so I wasn't freaked out about the birth as much as I was about after the epidural wore off! I was so scared that the pain would be so bad for so long. It wasn't even close to as bad as I expected. I think that focus is so much on the baby, you don't focus as much on the rest. At least that was the case with me. In reality, I've had knew surgeries that were way worse than childbirth, but I had the epidural!
I was induced at 40w+6d so that the right anesthesiologist could be there to tend to my pain needs. At that point, the epidural was still on the table.
Spoiler alert: As it turns out, I can't have an epidural because I don't have any epidural space in my spine anymore. I found out that bit of news from the Head of Anesthesiology WHEN I WAS IN LABOR.
I was in labor for 23 hours, and stuck at 9 cm for 3 hours before I tapped out and had a c-section (they were able to place a spinal, so I was awake and my husband was present). Pitocin + a "sunny side up" baby just made giving birth naturally nearly impossible for me.
Moral of my story: I'm just going to go with a repeat c-section this time around.
Unmedicated Birth".
DST T4L