I am a mother of 3 boys ranging from ages 18 to 12 and i am starting all over. People are just so darn stupid with their comments and opinions. With this pregnancy everyone's comments have totally turned me into "pregzilla"
It's caught me off guard how sexist & "age-ist" people are! I'm 37, doing this on my own now, & trust me I've heard some pretty hurtful, judge-y things these past couple months
To be honest it has me hesitant to tell people because I don't want to hear their negative INITIAL reactions such as "Oh, I didn't know you were married" (I'm not) to "Oh, I didn't know you were in a serious relationship with anybody" (I'm not). So awkward.
The worst, most uncomfortable things for me are because Im single. Immediate first responses this week alone:
-"Oh, so you're still pregnant?" -"Wow, pregnant! Who's the dad?" -"My brother told me your news...I GUE-E-ESS congratulations are in order???" (Heavy emphasis on "guess") I say, "Yes, of course, Im very excited." They say, "Well, you know. If you were a young couple it's obvious that congratulations are in order."
UGH. Thanks for making me feel awkward & misunderstood you 1950s patriarchal jerks.
Reading everyone's stories has me laughing, cringing...and feeling better! Thanks ladies
I am having my anatomy scan today and had someone post to my FB that they hope I am having a girl so then I can be done because I will have a boy and a girl...I didn't realize there was some sort of limit on the amount of kids I have....and wht if it is a boy and I want to be done? Or what if it is a girl and I choose to have more...stupidity at it's finest...
Ughhhhhhh I just can't even stand the whole .. "Are you sure your pregnant.." Comments. People make it so obvious they are looking you up and down and then say something like "wow I'm literally bigger than you are and your 20 weeks pregnant" .... Umm esscuse me while I punch you lol. First of all... No you're not.. And second, it's not like I want to look like I just ate a large meal instead of being pregnant. Hmmm thank you so much for making me never want to wear a regular shirt again instead of something huge and flowy. It's so irritating because some people don't understand how hard some women have tried to get to this point and all we want to feel is excitement about our babies and our growing bellies, and then to have someone shut it down. Phew... Okay that felt good to get out. Thank you haha
@lkeith86 I HATE "eating for two"! Um, no I'm not and please don't use my pregnancy as an excuse for you to order dessert. I totally don't get it when people try to make me eat more food. You guys, I got this. I know when I'm hungry, trust me this baby is by no means starving and the tiramisu is not her saving grace here.
Mmmmmh but tiramisu is soooooooooooooooooo good! I'll take it if you don't want it
I had a woman in the school I'm student teaching at today whom I have literally talked to maybe once. She saw me passing in the hall and with no other hello asked "How much longer do you have?" I didn't know what to say. Was she referring to my belly, did she remember that I'm student teaching and mean graduation? I had no idea. I responded with Dec. for graduation and Jan for these babies and braced myself for the "you're so small for twins" comment that irks me too. Instead she just looked at me with pitty and said something along the lines of good luck on that...
I mean really, why does everyone seem to think having two babies is such a horrible thing?!?
Maybe she means having your due date and graduation so close? The third trimester can be difficult so id imagine she's ...
I don't know. I was trying to make her sound a little less harsh.
I've been getting a lot of people asking me if I know the sex, I always respond with yes I do he's a boy! To which they respond with "Oh are you sure?" Umm ok? How should I take that! And then the "I'm sure you'll have a girl next time" what!?! I wanted a boy, I don't care if I have 70 kids and they are all boys. Yes I'm sure he's a boy and I'm happy about it!
I feel like everyone just thinks I'm Fat! Even though to me it looks like I am crazy pregnant! And I am only carrying her in my belly! I do however have a friend that is 36 weeks, and it's only been within the last few weeks that you can look at her and know that she was preg, cause she is carrying all over!
"are you going to have another?" is what I find annoying. I can take comments about my appearance (it stings but whatever), but I hate when people ask this while I am pregnant. I am currently pregnant and that's already more than what you need to know about my reproductive plans.
Some people have asked me if I'm planning to use medication during labor (which is none of their business but I don't mind telling people my plan). What bothers me is some of the reactions when I tell them I'm not. They range from weird faces to people outright telling me that I'm not going to be able to do it. The worst is that it's mostly MEN who have only witnessed their wives in labor and haven't even done it themselves!
1. people at work stare, and mention my belly all the time. They want to touch it and they keep asking me questions. They've named him, and always ask me questions about "chaz". I give one word answers most of the time. i very much dislike their constant inquiries on my baby... it weirds me out, it frustrates me, and it makes me uncomfortable. In a way- i feel like they've been so fakey excited for me (when i haven't been fishing for it at all) that it's taken some excitement out of the pregnancy for me...
2. one co-worker in particular asks me everyday about how my life is going. When i eventually do mention a few things that stress me out; she says "yeah, that's why i'm PLANNING on having a kid...." like it's a backhanded comment... really?
The day i found out i was pregnant, she had told me her and her husband decided that she is going to stop taking birth control. Now suddenly everything is about her and her husband trying to have a baby and how they aren't sure if they are ready for it blah blah blah, THEN tries to give ME advice. She's back on birth control now because she told me she wants to be a responsible parent because she doesn't want to get into a situation like mine... Mind you, my man and i are doing absolutely grand and have had zero problems. We're happy as we can be even if it was a total surprise!! Gah!!
She also emails other people about ME. How we just bought a house, where it's at, the news on our baby... .doesn't ask me if it's ok or anything, but then tells me "oh i emailed so and so and told them this and this..." WHY!!!!! Why... why?
Now all of a sudden she's decided that they want to go for a Scandinavian name for their future child.... after our list of names is all mostly scandinavian/german AND that's been the plan since the day i found out i was having a baby... And now she's mad at ME because I'M the one taking names from HER list.... sorry, you want to name your kid Geirr now all of a sudden? doubtful.
My patience has been running very thing lately and i'm afraid if she keeps this up i'm going to snap at her. I've talked to her many times and showed my frustration with how she's been acting. But she gets mad at me for mentioning it, makes a big deal out of nothing, and starts crap in the office...
It's not like i'm sharing a ton of information.. i've limited it to basic stuff. but recently i've just totally stopped talking about it completely when i'm at work.
Anyways---I'm venting more than anything i guess... but it's still reallllyyy annoying.
I couldn't wait for Thursday... My DH and I had a throat punch moment with the nurse last night after our ultrasound. She wasn't our doctor's normal nurse so we have never met her before. We walk in the room and she asks what we are having after our AS.. we said we are not finding out and you would have thought we said the most obscene comment ever with the look she gave us!!!! We told our doctor and she said.. umm that was shitty! haha love our doctor! Why would a nurse have that sort of opinion openly. And then she decided to announce out loud how much weight I have gained since week 8. Thanks lady!
Married: 2012 --- BFP: 2013 - Little Miss arrived: 2014 --- BFP #2: 2015 - EDD: 2/2016 (Team Green)
My best friend's mom called me "chubs" and said it was nice to see my face filling out. And then her dad told me that our lives were going to change so much and I was like there's really nothing I can do about it at this point, but thanks for the observation.
My Mom always asks me "Are you loving being pregnant as much as I did?" and I feel like a huge disappointment that I am not. I don't know what to say. I feel fat and just disgusting. And my hips hurt. Nope, not "loving every second of it" like you.
The other day my father in law told me it looks like I've put on a few pounds since the last time I saw him a month ago. Ya, thanks gramps, I'm over 5 months pregnant now. P.S. the man easily tips the scales at 300. P.P.S. I've only gained 10 lbs.
I'm becoming annoyed with the fight people are having to be the God parents of our child. They refer to themselves to others as the godparents even though a decision from DH and I have not actually been made. At first it was cute, like "aww our LO is so loved". Now it's just annoying for it to be a topic every time we see them. We'll choose who we want dammit! Until then take a seat.
The other day my father in law told me it looks like I've put on a few pounds since the last time I saw him a month ago. Ya, thanks gramps, I'm over 5 months pregnant now. P.S. the man easily tips the scales at 300. P.P.S. I've only gained 10 lbs.
ETA: what ever happened to, "you look good! "
You should have said "you look like you've put on a few of the ole L-Bs too"
My mom keeps trying to name the baby. Thank you, mom but DH and I made this one so we'll name her. Also I have already been asked a few times if I'm sure there is only one in there. I'm used to it since I got the same question with my first. I'm real sure, thanks. My kids like having lots of room to stretch out. Betting this one will hate being swaddled as much as her big sister did. And of course since we're having another girl everyone wants to know when we will try for a boy. How about, maybe I'll be done having babies after this pregnancy and maybe I won't. The sex of the baby doesn't really play into that decision. Thankfully people don't touch my belly this time around. My placenta is in the front and as soon as I mention placenta placement and they'll most likely touch it, nobody goes in for the belly touching lol
I hate when people ask how I'm feeling and when I tell them, their response is, "oh just wait" or "it gets worse" Okay, I understand that you've all had babies before and this is my first. Can I please have MY experience without your negative input? Do you REALLY want to know how I'm feeling or are you just using it as some sort of excuse to give me "advice"?
Thanks for listening! I already feel better just getting that out there!!!!
I hate when people ask how I'm feeling and when I tell them, their response is, "oh just wait" or "it gets worse" Okay, I understand that you've all had babies before and this is my first. Can I please have MY experience without your negative input? Do you REALLY want to know how I'm feeling or are you just using it as some sort of excuse to give me "advice"?
Thanks for listening! I already feel better just getting that out there!!!!
THIS!!! Someone asked me yesterday if I was sleeping ok and when I said no they said it just gets worse when the baby comes. WHY?? Why is this a thing to say??
ETA: also do any of us NOT know that it gets harder? Does someone think that is new information?
I told my sister-in-law that I was pregnant when she was visiting with her kids. Though she seemed generally happy for me, I felt like she spent the whole time complaining about hers and telling me how awful it is - the never being alone again and them always needing something. I was already freaked out about being pregnant, I didn't need to be told my life is over and I'm going to be miserable.
My husbands friend came over about a week ago to help with some serious yard work and of course they had some beers later on in the evening, but the guy ended up whining and complaining that such and such is the godparent of our second daughter. Not only that, but then basically stood there and talked shit and begged to be the god father of this baby. I dont even like the guy that much, much less trust him with my kids! and my husband knows this. He ended up saying yes to shut him up. Hes coming over again to help chop a few trees down and i really hope he says something about it so i can give him a piece of my mind. Turns out the further along i get the less tolerant i am of bullshit....i love it
Eta: that sounds really mean, but ive been dealing with this guys passive aggressive, whiney, self conscious, greedy, lazy shit for years. I just cant.
A woman I barely know came right out and asked me how much weight I gained during my first pregnancy. Some nerve. If that wasn't rude enough, she then said because I was looking big already and I still have half way to go (I'm actually 22 weeks). Wow!!! I just looked at her dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. What I wanted to say was "yup I'm a fatty" to try and make her feel bad but I bit my lip. This was after she told me I looked tired. Which is basically someone saying you look like crap. Ironically I was feeling pretty good before that. I had put extra makeup on and did my hair. Gee thanks lady. You really know how to make a woman feel great. Now shut up your face.
I think we are all getting these comments and glances so vent away! Its nice to have somewhere to vent where everyone understands!
I'm 24 weeks and I popped 2 weeks ago. I've been wearing maternity stuff since around 16 weeks, but I'm very small (110lbs pre-pregnancy) so I just looked like I had gained a couple pounds until a couple weeks ago. So of course now I'm getting all those glorious pregnancy comments and glances. I've been told "oh you really are pregnant?!" to which I wanted to say, no I've been lying this whole time! lol I've been told that its about time I start showing, especially since its my 2nd pregnancy. So annoying. And I keep getting comments about how I must not be very far along yet, to which I've started straight up telling people I'm already over half way.
The most annoying though is my grand mother in law (who thinks she knows everything) telling people that I'm only maybe 16 weeks along. Even arguing with my sister-in-law, who knows i'm 24 weeks, insisting that she can tell by looking at me that I'm not very far along. Thanks grandma.
I am 6 months with my 3rd child and I had a patient at my work ask me if I was having twins I told her No! She said oh are you sure??? I'm like WTF. I know I have a bump but when I say no don't frickin ask me if I'm sure. Yes I am sure! thanks for making my day shitty.
An annoying one I have been hearing from co-workers "were you trying to get pregnant?" How is that any of your business??? Would you like to know how for the previous year I have been tracking my period & when I was ovulating..? Hmmm is that what you want out of this conversation??
An annoying one I have been hearing from co-workers "were you trying to get pregnant?" How is that any of your business??? Would you like to know how for the previous year I have been tracking my period & when I was ovulating..? Hmmm is that what you want out of this conversation??
My response to that has been "yes we shag". No one knows what to say and no one asks again! I've done it twice at work and word apparently got around that people shouldnt ask me if I meant to get pregnant. People come on, I have a 2 year old and have been married 8 years, I clearly know where babies come from!
My FIL recently commented on my breasts being larger. That was super awkward.
Ewww, yeah very awkward! It wouldn't be ok to say that if you weren't pregnant so why does he think it's ok to say that now? Ugh, I wish people would just stop with the awkward/rude body comments!
An annoying one I have been hearing from co-workers "were you trying to get pregnant?" How is that any of your business??? Would you like to know how for the previous year I have been tracking my period & when I was ovulating..? Hmmm is that what you want out of this conversation??
I hate that question! It's so rude and invasive. I've gotten it, too.
My response to that has been "yes we shag". No one knows what to say and no one asks again! I've done it twice at work and word apparently got around that people shouldnt ask me if I meant to get pregnant. People come on, I have a 2 year old and have been married 8 years, I clearly know where babies come from!
I want so bad to say, "Well I'm 38 and I've been having sex for 22 years, so I've got a pretty firm grasp on the consequences."
An annoying one I have been hearing from co-workers "were you trying to get pregnant?" How is that any of your business??? Would you like to know how for the previous year I have been tracking my period & when I was ovulating..? Hmmm is that what you want out of this conversation??
The worst i've heard from my co-workers is "Is it Charlies?"
are you for real right now? OF COURSE IT IS!!! that's a rude thing to ask....
After all -- everyone at my work knows we've been together for 3 years now... being that we work at the same place and all... they must not think we're too serious haha '_'
I get really annoyed when total strangers who notice I'm pregnant begin asking questions about it like "When are you due?" and "Is it a boy or a girl?" I might be a little sensitive here, but these seem like pretty personal questions for someone you aren't even on a first name basis with. I have good friends who don't even know the answers to these questions yet.
I had 2 people tell me today that I look pregnant in my face. Not sure if that means my face is getting fat, or it was suppose to be a 'you are glowing' comment, or maybe I look extra tired from waking up from being uncomfortable all night. I want to tell everyone to stop commenting on my body/appearance unless you are going to say I look great and then move on with the conversation
The worst i've heard from my co-workers is "Is it Charlies?"
are you for real right now? OF COURSE IT IS!!! that's a rude thing to ask....
After all -- everyone at my work knows we've been together for 3 years now... being that we work at the same place and all... they must not think we're too serious haha '_'
Tell Charlie that they're doing this and then, the next time they ask say, "No, but he doesn't know and he can't find out. Oh, I just hope it doesn't have (insert some physical characteristic opposite of Charlie)"
I am 6 months with my 3rd child and I had a patient at my work ask me if I was having twins I told her No! She said oh are you sure??? I'm like WTF. I know I have a bump but when I say no don't frickin ask me if I'm sure. Yes I am sure! thanks for making my day shitty.
Why do people think that is ok.... I think people are just fascinated with the idea of twins you know? Probably nothing against you. But I do understand where you are coming from bc I definitely would be like wtf
Re: Annoying things people say...
To be honest it has me hesitant to tell people because I don't want to hear their negative INITIAL reactions such as "Oh, I didn't know you were married" (I'm not) to "Oh, I didn't know you were in a serious relationship with anybody" (I'm not). So awkward.
I don't know. I was trying to make her sound a little less harsh.
Also woo hoo! You're almost graduated!
ETA: what ever happened to, "you look good! "
Okay, I understand that you've all had babies before and this is my first. Can I please have MY experience without your negative input?
Do you REALLY want to know how I'm feeling or are you just using it as some sort of excuse to give me "advice"?
Thanks for listening! I already feel better just getting that out there!!!!
ETA: also do any of us NOT know that it gets harder? Does someone think that is new information?
Turns out the further along i get the less tolerant i am of bullshit....i love it
Eta: that sounds really mean, but ive been dealing with this guys passive aggressive, whiney, self conscious, greedy, lazy shit for years. I just cant.