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May 2016 Moms
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UO (Unpopular Opinion) Thursday

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Re: UO (Unpopular Opinion) Thursday

  • KEE787KEE787 member
    Yessssss! Why is bacon in EVERYTHING! And do people not realize it's not new? Gross.
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  • aamm04aamm04 member
    jenstinator said:

    I think a car seat would be a give away

    You have to be close enough to the car to see the car seat though. You have to account for distance and things like tinted windows.
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  • FireInWonderlandFireInWonderland member
    edited September 2015
    I'm tired of all the DRAMA! Sometimes I feel like when people post on here it's JUST to start an argument and we play right into it by flaming them. I feel like just ignoring them would make them go away faster and leave the threads less clogged up. Do I support BFing? Yes. Do I want to get into a circular argument with a troll? No. Not worth my time or the stress levels - my baby deserves more than my irritation over something I can't change. I'm sure this will get flamed, too, but I had to get it out.

    Edit: Gif fail

    image
    TTC #1 - Started 7/2015
    MC #1 - 1/10/2014
    MC #2 - 10/15/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker



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  • LemmyRNLemmyRN member
    @FireInWonderland agreed!! I feel that since this UO started, the snarkiness and condescension has grown exponentially. Yes it got more people involved, but the negativity and drama is not worth it.
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  • sosweet487sosweet487 member
    I don't find Scarlett Johansson that attractive.
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  • lionstigersbearslionstigersbears member
    Knottie30773460 said:

    @FireInWonderland agreed!! I feel that since this UO started, the snarkiness and condescension has grown exponentially. Yes it got more people involved, but the negativity and drama is not worth it.

    While I respect your opinion and feelings on the subject, I'm curious how you think this helps? ...Be the change you wish to see in the board!
    Me 27 | DH 28
    DS October 2014
    #2 May 2016
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  • LemmyRNLemmyRN member
    @lionstigersbears
    Awareness
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  • aldrich728aldrich728 member
    I teach high school as well, and I'm surprised by the number of other teachers and parents with this mindset. College isn't for everyone. We need people working in all sectors of society and working where they can succeed. Sending everyone to college is setting some up for failure and massive debt.
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  • bellamamma23bellamamma23 member
    I don't get the kale craze. I understand that it's healthy for you but I just can't get past the taste. For years kale was just a garnish restaurants used for plating their steaks. Now it's a superfood and everywhere! ☺️
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • dshannahdshannah member
    edited September 2015
    laurenmdrn16 said:


    mariaalene said:

    sincerelymom said:

    mariaalene said:

    The topic is unpopular opinions correct? And that's my and many ppls opinion. It doesn't change the fact that we think breastfeeding in public is offensive and disgusting. My opinion is I don't want to see anyone's tit out or their kid sucking on it. Have some decency

    You have a right to your opinion, but you are being vulgar. Which is ironic.

    First of all, you can't see the breast when the child is latched. Second, the child is eating, not randomly sucking. Third, what happened to you that you are scared of/grossed out by a little boob?
    Just conservative that's all. Luckily I live in an an area of similarly conservative women who have enough respect for the public and themselves to cover up.

    I live in a part of New England that is SUPER conservative. However, when I found myself at the mall with bottles of BM but no nipples (oh, baby brain!) and attempted to BF in the bathroom because I didn't have a cover, a kind old lady, the absolute definition of a WASP, had me sit next to her on a bench and she wasn't disgusted by my grotesque breasts. She even helped me readjust my baby because he had a terrible latch. And I will never forget what she said, "Don't feed your baby where other people do their...business. Respect him and yourself enough to let him eat out in the world without a heavy cloth covering him. I wouldn't want to eat with a blanket on my head, would you?" 


    ------ (end quote)

    And to highlight: mariaalene was advocating feeding our babies in toilets. Those rooms whose surfaces are covered in particulate fecal matter and bombed with clouds of microbes every time someone flushes. And she says breasts are disgusting?

    Ugh.

    I'm not a germophobe, just clarifying why we do not eat in bathrooms.
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  • DutchLucyLuDutchLucyLu member
    Keep posting everyone, only one more day until it's Thursday again!

    >.>

      

    Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness


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  • laurenmdrn16laurenmdrn16 member
    @dshannah exactly! And that is why I never BF in a bathroom again! It is sad that it took a little old lady to knock that type of sense into me and let me see that it is waaaay grosser to feed your baby around poop than show less breast than you would see at the beach!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • nsouplynnnsouplynn member
    MAAAAAAN, wait till some of the moms goes through breast engorgement. That was really fun. I would have done anything to BF my kid just to relieve that. Even in public if I have to. 

    I know. I'm sorry. I'm late to the BF'ing debate so here's a cute puppy GIF to make up for it.
    image
    (Me) 30 & (DH) 32 {Together 11 years - Married 04.17.15}

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
    TTC Baby #2 since 06/15 | BFP 9/4/15 | EDD 5/07/16

    BabyGaga
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  • NunuuNunuu member
    yogahh said:


    TheThornBird said:

    So, maybe I misunderstand people sometimes, but it seems like some women only have sex with their SO to conceive. I've heard things like, "last month we only had sex on the day I ovulated so I know that's when we conceived!"

    This is so weird to me. Sex is fun. We do it all the time. I have no idea when we conceived, because it could have been any of, oh, I dunno, all the days? 

    And I imagine that sex is completely awkward. "Hey honey I'm just going to lay here and read a baby book while you deposit your sperm in me". 

    I get if someone can't for medical reasons, but otherwise people should be getting naked and having fun! 

    I have to slightly disagree. Sex isn't fun for everyone. For me, its a lot of work. I don't love it, and while I enjoy intimacy with DH, I don't always have the energy to get naked. Before our month of EOD sex to conceive, we would only do it one a week. If that. And now we haven't had sex in 3 weeks. I just don't feel like it since getting pregnant.




    I am SO bothered by this attitude and I see it everywhere. Sex is never a bad idea and if you don't feel happier afterwards you're going in with a negative attitude that is probably ruining it for your husband too. Get those endorphins! And even if you don't orgasm? It still felt nice and your husband did! That means he's happy and is going to be grateful for the release you shared with him. Men need that! Sex doesn't have to be perfect, he doesn't have to be Channing Tatum, but he's your husband and he deserves to enjoy sex with his wife. He is not your sperm bank and you are my his blow up doll. If you arent having any fun then you need to have a get together and brain storm on what's missing. Usually it's just an attitude adjustment, some lacy underwear, and maybe a few pointers ;)

    My unpopular opinion ties into the previous topic: If you both work full time and you have kids, sure, maybe you're a little too tired to have sex and maybe that means you shouldn't be having more children!

    If you don't have enough peace of mind or time in your life to enjoy being physically intimate with your husband and give him the attention he needs... What makes you think you can give attention to anther human being?

    I also see women complain about maternity leave... You should quit and stay home with the kids ;) Families need someone to take care of them full time. If more women stayed home, there would be more jobs available. People would stop consuming things at a ridiculous rate because they are more money conscious (please don't tell me you can't afford to not stay home, down size your life and create a budget). Fact: most kids do not grow up with toys and those that grow up with a whole room of them are very unlikely to ever value material thing a in their life. Lastly, our teachers would be able to focus on educating children and not teaching them manners.

    And our families would be less fat and obese because we would be cooking real food and not things from a box.

    I'm ready for the hate to flow in. I'm pregnant and cranky and I wanted to voice this opinion. I really think all women should consider staying home because of the happiness it provides to everyone (including the wife)





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  • NunuuNunuu member
    If you're staying at home I don't know why you'd need daycare, which is a massive cost. And I have friends who live in NYC who stay home as well, budgeting is key. But then again, there are other places beside NYC to live, if you can't afford it on one salary you could down size to a more affordable area. That's a lifestyle choice.

    My religion does praise women who stay home, but it was also the first religion to also allow women to have the choice to work and keep every cent they earn (they are under no obligation to give the husband/father any of it) But I have many friends who are Christian, and secular who stay home. They are even more militaristic about this point of view than I am ahaha.

    Id argue that you need to open your eyes and see how the world works best. I have two MAs and have ample time to research and read on topics that keep my mind interesting and active. I speak three languages, one I learned after I started staying home, the second after my first child was born. I also have ample peers that I spend time with. I work out almost every day, cook all the meals from scratch, and have a well kept and clean house. I stay very busy yet still have time to enjoy my own quiet space. Plus my husband and child are very happy.

    What's up with this "independence" thing. That's such a post colonial western concept. Very modern and I think a precursor to a lot of split families and anxiety and depression. We are social creatures and we should depend on each other for care. What is the point of being married and having a family if you value being an individual more?

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  • NunuuNunuu member
    edited October 2015
    @BuzzBee614 there were plenty of women saying husband vetoed names. My comment was meant in a joking manner and sense I got to choose our first sons name I'm cool with it. My marriage is a partnership too, we both have different roles to play. I am his wife, not his mother.

    I posted it because... The post is called... "Unpopular opinions" it's clear that my opinion is unpopular so I thought it was well suited for the board! I am in good humor about it, as I realize some women will react defensively to it. It's up to you to take offense as a personal attack or roll your eyes and say "oof". I did not want the hate to flow in, I hoped to have some reasonable responses, but I have a thick skin and wanted to exercise an unpopular opinion that has merit it in it. I also have the gall to expect people to look past differences of opinions and still respect each others right to an opinion. Lordy!

    Since this is not a "defend to the death your opinion post" I don't have anything to add.

    Curious if I would have garnished more poor responses with "I think capitalism is a morally corrupt economic system". Honestly, I'm filled with unpopular opinions.

    *edited because my phone auto credited "choose" to "goose" almost kept for comedic value
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  • NunuuNunuu member
    All jobs suck sometimes, but some bodies got to do it! We can't keep pushing it off on other people, day cares, public schools, first bosses (!!!) jut because we don't wanna.

    Never said they are just baby makers, silly. We are also chefs, accountants, personal stylists, nurses, maids, educators, entertainers, plumbers, electricians... Staying at home is more than just a job, it's a 24/7 job!! But if you work hard and get support it doesn't have to be miserable. Everyone has low points in their careers, but staying at home means you get to be your own boss and choose your work. There are lots of tools to make this job the best there is.
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  • skiingstarkskiingstark member
    edited October 2015
    @Nunnuu If I became a stay at home mom like you suggest no matter how much budgeting (because you suggest all we need to do is tighten our belts a bit and then we will magically all be able to afford it) we will lose our house because I make the more money than my DH. So yeah.... things really are not as clear cut as you make it out to be. And guess what my mom made more money than my dad too. We have a partnership and I would never have it any other way, when I dated men who thought different, where they thought they were above me just because they happen to have a penis, I said good bye.


    Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09

    BabyFruit Ticker

    MC 10.23.15 @ 10 weeks
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  • lest12lest12 member

    I had to re-read the last page like, 3 times to make sure I was reading correctly.

    @nunuu, you might want to read up on a little thing called the Women's Rights Movements.  Generations of women fought really hard so we could be considered "equals".  I don't know about you, but personally I think it is kind of nice that I can vote, get an education and yes, contribute to the economy, whether it is morally corrupt or not.  It's all what makes the world go round and I like being a participant rather than a bystander.

    Oh, and I'm a kick-ass mom while doing it.  Proud to be setting the example of a smart, strong, empowered woman for my son and future children.  And anyone else around me who happens to be paying attention.

     

     

    image        image

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  • NunuuNunuu member
    @BuzzBee614 thank you for clarifying that we were having an adult discourse. I could have sworn this was a game of hot potato ;)

    The former was still an opinion and nobody was held at gun point and said that they had too. Deep breaths, we can coexist.
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  • NunuuNunuu member
    @yogahh Enjoy your work day! As I said, my religion fully supports you doing you. Go find your personal empowerment where it may be, no ones is making you do otherwise.

    I'm, however, leashed to my stove. If only I could escape the oppression.
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  • NunuuNunuu member
    edited October 2015
    @lest12 I'm not sure how raising children is being a bystander. Do we have to make money to be considered real people with legitimate things to offer to our society?

    And I HAVE heard of that there unsuccessful movement. I, in fact, have a minor in gender studies so I can attest how unsuccessful it has been! It certainly has distracted us from the fact that wages across the board have not risen in decades, that we have the worst health care in the world, and that we have laughable maternity leave (forget paternity)!

    I have an unpopular opinions ladies! It does not mean I am ignorant :) It's also rude to assume and project that women who stay home are not smart and empowered. I, too, feel I am setting a wonderful example for my children. To do something you believe in when everyone else judges you as being backwards for it.
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  • NunuuNunuu member
    @skiingstark @kbrands7

    Daddy can always stay home. I think women do it better, but I think the ideal situation is to have one parent at home.

    Go on income based repayment for student loans. We did this!

    Downsize dat mortgage. I have families back home that live 8 people to a one bedroom. We ain't better than them over here in The Western Hemisphere.

    We are unwilling to cut luxuries. You may not be able to stay home tomorrow, but you can make decisions that will enable you to.

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  • lest12lest12 member

    Raising children does not make you a bystander.  I thought that may have come across wrong.  I meant that I appreciate all of the rights women have been afforded in the last 150 years have given us the opportunity to be participants - including voting, education and the RIGHT to work. 

    Is the system perfect?  No.  Are we light years better off with these rights than we were without them?  Absolutely.  Is there still much further to go?  Of course.  But I choose to fight for more equality and to strive to get ahead and to raise children who respect these concepts, rather than withdraw and say the women's true place is in the home and set us all back a few hundred years. 

     

    I don't think you are ignorant, but I don't have much respect for the advice you are doling out up here.  A lot of working women like their western lives.  I know I have made the choice to go to work so I can provide certain comforts for my children, and myself, and I have zero apologies for it. 

     

    image        image

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  • NunuuNunuu member
    @vinerie well, you inferred a lot from my post that I never said. I never implied or stated that ou had to stay at home to realize you "womanness" I think it is the healthiest option for the whole family, I never said it should be the only option or that people should be forced into it.

    I agree with everything in your post. A lot of women into family are teachers and o think they are horrible under appreciated by society and by benefits, same as SAHM. Society does not value much of anything that women do, which is why we are convinced we have to work high powered jobs in order to have meaning!

    My post was to praise the importance of a woman's role, to celebrate its necessity.
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  • vinerievinerie member
    @nunuu by asserting that "it is the healthiest option for the whole family" you are very much implying that it is the ideal, natural and morally just role for women. 
    Me: 38; DH: 41
    DS: Born 5-17-16 

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  • Jesse835235Jesse835235 member
    Just because a woman works, doesn't mean that she has to for financial reasons, either.  I think I will be a better mother by being a working mother.  Quantity time doesn't always equal quality time.  The people I help in my job gives me a great sense of self worth, which makes me a better person.  Not saying that raising children doesn't do that for people, because it absolutely does, but I need something different.  That doesn't mean I won't love my kids any less than a SAHM.  I'll just have a different way of being my best for my kids.

    Everyone is different and there is no one-size-fits-all family model.
    Me: 27    DH: 30
    Married in 2011
    Baby 1: Stillborn at 27 weeks (April 2014)
    Baby 2: Due May 2016

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