First Post

Mctrishwich · August 2015

My husband and I have been trying for a couple months now. I went off the pill in February and didn't ovulate for almost two months. May and June things started to feel normal again, but our timing wasn't right. Last month and this month we covered days before, during and after ovulation. I think I ovulated Sunday-Monday so I'd be 5-6 dpo at this point. About three days ago I started cramping and having ovulation type soreness again (first time for this). I'm also very tired, have headaches, and my appetite has been funny. I've tested and bfn, but wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences? Am I testing too early in my cycle? >:D<

CharmBombExplosion · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
My husband and I have been trying for a couple months now. I went off the pill in February and didn't ovulate for almost two months. May and June things started to feel normal again, but our timing wasn't right. Last month and this month we covered days before, during and after ovulation. I think I ovulated Sunday-Monday so I'd be 5-6 dpo at this point. About three days ago I started cramping and having ovulation type soreness again (first time for this). I'm also very tired, have headaches, and my appetite has been funny. I've tested and bfn, but wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences? Am I texting too early?

Id say we had two good months of trying, but since I've been dealing with going off the pill, emotions, and periods for longer I'm starting to feel discouraged and frustrated.

Need some love! >:D<

QFP.

Nope. Can't do it. Have you ready any threads before starting this one?

WinchestertoPittsburgh · August 2015

I'm all out of love.

CharmBombExplosion · August 2015

WinchestertoPittsburgh said:
I'm all out of love.

And now I have Air Supply stuck in my head

letyourheartbeyourguide · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
My husband and I have been trying for a couple months now. I went off the pill in February and didn't ovulate for almost two months. May and June things started to feel normal again, but our timing wasn't right. Last month and this month we covered days before, during and after ovulation. I think I ovulated Sunday-Monday so I'd be 5-6 dpo at this point. About three days ago I started cramping and having ovulation type soreness again (first time for this). I'm also very tired, have headaches, and my appetite has been funny. I've tested and bfn, but wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences? Am I texting too early?

Id say we had two good months of trying, but since I've been dealing with going off the pill, emotions, and periods for longer I'm starting to feel discouraged and frustrated.

Need some love! >:D<

There is so much wrong with this, I don't know where to start. I haven't even had coffee yet! Here's all I can come up with:

Pms symptoms and early pregnancy symptoms are identical.

No one on the internet can tell you if you're pregnant.

But negative test=not pregnant.

If you're not temping you don't even know if/when you O'd.

Trying for two months is not a long time.

Read the newbie post, then re-read your post and see what's wrong with it. Don't delete your post. Don't get angry. Learn from this. Read more threads here and learn how your cycles work.

letyourheartbeyourguide · August 2015

walbs said:

WinchestertoPittsburgh said:
I'm all out of love.
And now I have Air Supply stuck in my head

m6agua · August 2015

THE ULTIMATE TTGP GUIDE- NEWBIES READ THIS FIRST

Read this thread! I don't know how to link it on mobile but if you search it should be on the first page

Lulucooks · August 2015

Have I had pms symptoms and gotten a BFN. Yes... yes I have. Don't know what that has to do for you. Here's all the love I have right now

sorarose · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

My husband and I have been trying for a couple months now. I went off the pill in February and didn't ovulate for almost two months. May and June things started to feel normal again, but our timing wasn't right. Last month and this month we covered days before, during and after ovulation. I think I ovulated Sunday-Monday so I'd be 5-6 dpo at this point. About three days ago I started cramping and having ovulation type soreness again (first time for this). I'm also very tired, have headaches, and my appetite has been funny. I've tested and bfn, but wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences? Am I texting too early? Id say we had two good months of trying, but since I've been dealing with going off the pill, emotions, and periods for longer I'm starting to feel discouraged and frustrated. Need some love! >:D<

This sounds like my cold right now. Or when I PMS. Or when I don't get a good night's sleep. Or when I was pregnant. My point is that the symptoms you list are generic, which is why they become meaningless as to whether you are KU. Can I ask how you know you didn't ovulate for a couple months? Are you temping? Do you mean you didn't get your period?

I understand feeling discouraged and frustrated whenever you see a BFN. Two months may feel like a long time, but please recognize that several women here have seen BFN for months and months, so your post is insensitive, especially since it can take a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant.

In the meantime, learn from these women. Lurk, lurk, and lurk some more. They have a wealth of knowledge to provide to make your stay here fun and worthwhile.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · August 2015

Lulucooks said:
Have I had pms symptoms and gotten a BFN. Yes... yes I have. Don't know what that has to do for you. Here's all the love I have right now

Mmmmmm...burrito!

bluemoonlight · August 2015

I know it's tough but try to stay positive. Try to keep your mind off of TTC (I know it's easier said than done). I finally realized I was making myself crazy so I told hubby as long as we had fun every 2-3 days I would be happy and stop obsessing. Have I stopped completely? No. But I have been able to spend most of my days focusing on other things

mkc3888 · August 2015

Check out the wto and tww threads

oandmplus1 · August 2015

letyourheartbeyourguide said:

I'm all out of love.
And now I have Air Supply stuck in my head

I was just about to look for this... Still singing it in my head

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@meltwithyou - I have been temping and also using ovulation test strips which have been consistent for the last three months. This is the only time after ovulating I have been cramping roughly 10 days before my expected period. I have a 33 day cycle so my ovulation is around day 17-18. If this isn't the appropriate board to post on I apologize.

letyourheartbeyourguide · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

No one is beating you down.

Yes, waiting sucks. But we're not going to be all sparkles and rainbows and pat you on the head and tell you it'll happen tomorrow. It might. It might not. But a reality check is far more useful in the long run during this process.

Everycol0r · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

Sorry but no one was beating anyone down.

This board doesn't encourage symptom spotting. If you'd taken the time to lurk & offer support prior to expecting it, you'd have learned that on your very own.

Shame we can't all offer support before expecting it.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

Obviously I didn't know where I was supposed to go? I saw the Trying to Get Pregnant and figured that is what I am. Oops!

Lulucooks · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

Sorry, what support have you ever given? I seem to have forgetten. Give support to get support.

Everycol0r · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
Obviously I didn't know where I was supposed to go? I saw the Trying to Get Pregnant and figured that is what I am. Oops!

This is the correct board.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@Lulucooks I have been on and off the site for awhile reading posts - never decided to put anything on until today. Lesson learned.

letyourheartbeyourguide · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@meltwithyou - I have been temping and also using ovulation test strips which have been consistent for the last three months. This is the only time after ovulating I have been cramping roughly 10 days before my expected period. I have a 33 day cycle so my ovulation is around day 17-18. If this isn't the appropriate board to post on I apologize.

Just want to clarify something. If you're temping, you can confirm ovulation in hindsight. Your luteal phase (time between O and AF) rarely fluctuates more than a day or so across cycles. But you won't necessarily O on the same cycle day each time. That's why tracking cm/cp and opk's can help make sure you have sex when you're fertile, and then temping can confirm ovulation in hindsight.

Please read more threads here. There is a lot to learn and I find knowing the science of it helps reduce stress during this process.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

Thank you to all - I found the post about newbies and will "lurk," but I wish someone would have let me know that was where I'm supposed to start... Good luck to you all!

Lulucooks · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@Lulucooks I have been on and off the site for awhile reading posts - never decided to put anything on until today. Lesson learned.

Then you would know that this type of post doesn't go over wonderfully. We don't symptom spot, we can't tell you if you are pregnant, you've offered none of us "love" but expect us to gush over you.

pbsnowflake453 · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

Thank you to all - I found the post about newbies and will "lurk," but I wish someone would have let me know that was where I'm supposed to start... Good luck to you all!

@letyourheartbeyourguide and @m6agua gave you two good places to start.

R0824H · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

Obviously I didn't know where I was supposed to go? I saw the Trying to Get Pregnant and figured that is what I am. Oops!

@Mctrishwich This is a very good community of women who are TTGP and they do provide tons of positive support to each other, but like PP's have said you need to give support to get support. There's nothing here attacking you as a person but the content of your post (symptom spotting) and the fact that you never bothered to read the welcome posts with the TOU and outlines or even the Newbie posts is frustrating to people that have been here and have contributed on a daily basis.

We see posts like this come through every singe day and it gets really tiresome seeing people we don't know asking us (a bunch of internet strangers) if they could be pregnant or even worse becoming a drive-by where they post only to wave around a positive HPT in our faces.

I get you're frustrated, anxious, excited and just not sure what to think about this whole process and we're not shunning you off this board, if you take the time to lurk and learn the guidelines you'll see these posts daily and will learn to understand where our responses are coming from.

ETA name tagging

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@rrauws This whole thing was an honest mistake. I had NO clue where I was supposed to start and I'm guessing others havent (as you just stated this is not the first time this has happened). Maybe the Bump admin should make it clear to newbies where we should start?

sorarose · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

I'm willing to be a broken record. Did I not acknowledge your disappointment and frustration? Yes. Did I also recognize that even two months can feel like a long time? Yes. Did I tell you that it can take a healthy couple a year to get pregnant? Yes. Did I encourage you to stick around and learn from these women? Yes.

If you had read the guide to newbies and TOU, you would know there is no symptom spotting here for exactly the reasons I mentioned. These women do not know you and can't tell you if you're pregnant and why you aren't. Your tone in saying that you've been trying a "good two months" came off as naive and offensive to women who have been trying a lot longer and have also been here supporting others in the meantime.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@deeny14 - I am full of support for everyone on this board. This whole site! I did not mean to upset anyone, like I said, posting here was an honest mistake. Nobody tells you to go to the Newbie board or which of the hundreds of posts to read first. I guess I'll keep lurking. Good luck to you all!

R0824H · August 2015

@Mctrishwich please do stick around and learn as a lot of these women have a wealth of knowledge they can share. I don't know if TB still does this but when I signed up I had to wait 3 days before posting and at the top of the forums it mentions to look around and read the pinned discussion that are at the top of the list. So I made use of those days and read those..I also read a couple drive-by's and honestly was thinking "omg these women are cray cray" (* sorry ladies

) but because I kept reading and looking I very soon realized they are not mean what-so-ever but just tired of dealing with the same thing everyday.

I just look at it this way...if I were to join a new sports league or organization, would I jump in doing what I want or would I read the rules and outlines? (not intended to be mean or snarky)

Glad to see you'll be sticking around

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@rrauws - it is very confusing as to know where to start. I first came across The Bump when I was using The Knot to help plan my wedding so I've been on and off for about a year. Some months I read more, some less - when we first starting discussing trying I read a lot and got very excited, but then backed off as I didnt want to get my hopes up. I wish this site made it more clear where a good starting point would be. I've been lurking for awhile, but I guess I'll just keep lurking

letyourheartbeyourguide · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

@rrauws - it is very confusing as to know where to start. I first came across The Bump when I was using The Knot to help plan my wedding so I've been on and off for about a year. Some months I read more, some less - when we first starting discussing trying I read a lot and got very excited, but then backed off as I didnt want to get my hopes up. I wish this site made it more clear where a good starting point would be. I've been lurking for awhile, but I guess I'll just keep lurking

I'll admit it is a bit unclear with the random pinned posts and TB not pinning a real newbie post.

But don't feel like you can't post anymore. Lots of people get flamed first time around, apologize / learn from it, and become regular posters. Read some more threads on here to get a feel for the board - the ultimate newbie's guide that was recommended (should be on first page or two) is a good place to start. And feel free to jump in with the WTO/TWW threads, they're a great way to touch base and get to know other ladies in a similar space.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@letyourheartbeyourguide - thanks for the advice - I'll look into lurking there!

It's very hard to find these things on the site!

hunnybunny17 · August 2015

@Mctrishwich You came to the right place. Thank you for admitting your mistake and I'm glad you'll be sticking around. We have regular contributors to this board that have stuck around after being flamed on their first posts so you're not the only one. I agree that there should be some sort of way to make the New Members posts be highlighted in some way. Less people would be flamed, and maybe then more would stick around and we'd have a larger support system.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@hunnybunny17 - it is VERY hard to navigate the boards on this site. Thanks for being patient with me - I had no ill intentions here!

hunnybunny17 · August 2015

@Mctrishwich No problem. I don't think anyone thought you had ill intentions, it just gets old sometimes like PPs said. FWIW, I'm TTC #1 and I've only ovulated once in the past 5 months. I'm currently on cycle day 60 of cycle 3.

Mctrishwich · August 2015

@hunnybunny17 - I wish the best for you! I'm going to check back to see how you are doing! I love to hear good news!

dande2129 · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:

@Deeny14 - I wasn't trying to be insensitive in any way and yes I know many people have been on here way longer, but there are also people who try one month and get pregnant. I don't think that the fact I haven't been trying a year makes my feelings any less valid. I was looking for positive advice or thoughts - not a barrage of negative "support" from members. Obviously I'll keep trying, but was hoping for something nicer than this. Shame we have to beat each other down. I'll wait a year and then post again.

To be honest, it looks like you did get some positive support but perhaps you're focusing on the negative support.

Your post is a prime example of why there is a sticky at the top for newbies to the board, because 2 months TTC and getting a BFN is 100% normal. Yes, there are folks that conceive their first cycle, and that's great for them, but the vast majority do not.

It is against TOA to ask if you are pregnant. BFN = not pregnant. Fact: PMS mimics pregnancy symptoms, and that's the bitch of AF.

I suggest building your knowledge base with the highly recommended Taking Charge of Your Fertility, as well as charting and temping. If you feel frustrated, grab the reins. Take the control that you can take in terms of finding out what's going on with your body.

When you do that, there are GTKY days where women will post their charts for stalking, or if you come with a legit question and a chart, the ladies here are more than helpful. There is absolutely nothing anyone can tell you about your vague and ambiguous symptoms except the aforementioned BFN = not pregnant and to test again later if you haven't started a new cycle.

Good luck.

oandmplus1 · August 2015

@Mctrishwich stick around. Lots of newbies make the same mistake and end up staying and learning a ton. This is a great place to be, so I hope you stay

YogaSandy · August 2015

Mctrishwich said:
@letyourheartbeyourguide - thanks for the advice - I'll look into lurking there! It's very hard to find these things on the site!

There used to be a "newbies read this before you post" thread pinned on top.

AL_TwinCities · August 2015

@BumpCaitlin @BumpTara @BumpAdmin this is why we need The Ultimate Guide to TTGP pinned. At the top.

First Post

Re: First Post

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow

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