FET--one or 2 embryos? CAN't DECIDE!

girloffaith · July 2015

i am just so stressed over whether to transfer 1 or 2 embryos! i don't know what words of wisdom i am looking for, since i feel like i have heard them all....BUT i still go back and forth. embryos are great quality, we'd really prefer singleton over twins, but i am SO over this infertility journey. how did you decide? any luck with eSET? RE says 30% chance of birth with single transfer and 60% chance if transfer 2, in general.... STRESSED over what to do! Any experiences you care to share? THanks!

jnissa · July 2015

Before my first cycle, both of my girlfriends who had ended up with twins sent me emails begging me not to transfer more than one at a time, including stats on the number of marriages that break up over multiples. Having had a child now, I see their point. Only you know what's right for you, but if you feel stressed now, imagine potentially two collicy infants

MrsBwIVF · July 2015

Bfp mentioned

With our first cycle, that was fresh, we transferred 2. Our doctors and the RE suggested only 1 as it was high quality and they prepared us for the possibility of both embryos taking. Well, only 1 took but it split, so we were pregnant with two. We were terrified! Two babies seemed like so much extra work and money. Unfortunately, it did not split correctly and we lost them a few weeks later, devestating us. I would have given anything to have had two babies 7 months later.
With this cycle, that was frozen, they suggested the 2 would be ok and did not warn us about both implanting, but they did. When we saw the two heartbeat flicks, I was amazed at how excited and not scared I was! Our doctors were pretty surprised too and surmised that we were destined for two.
I would not change it for the world! We've done the financial research and know we will be able to afford them both. And yes, I'm sure it'll be a tough road and I'll have days where I'll think about how much easier it'd be with one, but in the end, I know how blessed I am. We are currently awaiting the anatomy scan in 3 weeks and I cannot wait to see two, healthy babies bouncing around.

But you and your partner will have to do the pros and cons together and see what will work for you two. Good luck on your journey.

LuckyClover13 · July 2015

I transferred two perfect embryos and got my daughter from that fresh IVF cycle. Now 3 yrs later I did a single embryo transfer got pregnant and miscarried at 6 wks. We can not afford twins nor do I want two at once so we will be doing another single transfer. It's a hard decision. I think if the finances were so hard we would put two in this next round! Good luck!

lovelifewife · July 2015

I don't have any experience to share, but say, go with what your gut says and good luck!

June0609 · July 2015

***warning SAIF***

I disagree with what your RE said that the % doubled if you transfer 2 embryos vs one. Research have shown that transferring 2 embryos only increase the chance for having multiples, not the overall success rate.

We transferred 2 back in 2011 and both took, but one stopped growing at 9 weeks. The other one became my son.

We did FET with 2 embryos last summer. One took but ended in a miscarriage.

For our last cycle we did PGS and freeze all. We transferred a single embryo in December that was successful and I'm now 34 weeks pregnant.

girloffaith · July 2015

yes, june--essentially he said that it's 30% per embryo transferred, so if i transferred 2, there is the same percentage of that one, in addition to the other one (30+30%)--does that make sense? it made much more sense after i called the embryologist to talk to her, too (yes, i am THAT crazy and stressed!) my gut initially said "go with two!" and now it's totally just dependent on my mood! i think my husband is more leaning towards one, but he's also not in the trenches of the IF like i am emotionally... i'm a Christian, so i keep thinking "well, God will give me what is 'meant to be'" but that still doesn't take the decision away--ha! and when i asked RE and embryologist their humble opinions, they BOTH said 1-2! i'm 36... and i realize this is a "good" problem to have--many of my friends didn't have more than one to transfer, so i feel INCREDIBLY blessed. thanks for your support and sharing personal experiences. i will read them over and over before next week!!!!!!!!!!! please more chime in! also wanted to add, CONGRATS on those BFPs and i am so incredibly sorry for the losses some of you have been through. you are incredible inspiring to me....to go through IF and loss both has to build your character and strength like nothing else, as well as just have a perspective on life that many are just never capable of having! I believe God can use suffering for really great things! xoxo

welovehawaii · July 2015

Hi! I begged my RE to transfer 2. My first FET is this Saturday! She will not transfer two because of my age (32) and my embryos have all been genetically tested. Maybe have a conversation with your RE and get his/her honest opinion. Good luck with your decision!! : )

KidShrink · July 2015

That's a tough one for sure. Hubby and I both have twins in our families, and everyone always said (before we dealt with IF) that we'd have twins, and we were excited by the idea. Then a friend of mine conceived twins on Clomid, and I felt like she just lost it. Completely disorganized and overwhelmed, at least in the beginning. We've seen each other maybe 3-4 times in the past 3 years since her daughters were born. I became afraid of twins. Fast forward to two years of IF, mixed with my little patience, if I were now doing IVF (we're doing IUI for now), I'd personally put 2, but keep in mind that's my personal opinion, and every now and then, I doubt it (such as when I have triplets in my office...I'm so scared of triplets). At this point, I'd rather have twins than go through another failed cycle. But then all the potential health risks with twins come to scare me.

That's my two cents! Good luck with your decision, and keep in mind that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. FX for you!

girloffaith · July 2015

yes, kidshrink! it's totally the health risks. i could deal with a year+ of complete misery (and probably could afford help if i were on brink of insanity), knowing it passes, but the pregnancy health risks make me sick to think about. hawaii (oh, how i love hawaii, too!), i would DEFINITELY only transfer one if we had had them PGD tested--would make me MUCH more confident! GOOD LUCK! YOU HAVE to keep us updated!!!!!!!!

welovehawaii · July 2015

@girloffaith please let us know what you decide! When is your transfer?

girloffaith · July 2015

in a week--the 30th! gah! tomorrow is a lining check so assuming all goes well.... FINALLY. been doing fertility treatments for 7 months and HAVE. NOT. OVULATED on them--plus a cancelled IUI cycle due to way too many follies (minus the egg retrieval--i guess counts as ovulating?) so i'm actually excited to have a CHANCE of pregnancy for once. patience is NOT my thing.... pray, pray, pray!!!! THANK YOU GUYS!!!! PM ME OR WRITE HERE IF YOU WANT ME TO PRAY FOR YOUR INDIVIDUAL SITUATION/NEEDS EACH DAY--I PROMISE I WILL!!!!! totally believe in prayer. really think it helps the soul, if nothing else!

c0513 · July 2015

I was in the same boat !! I had my first transfer today and I went with ..2!!! We are 100% ready for kids and can afford twins if both take .. My hesitation was because my doc was giving me all the negatives that could happen if both would take . Ultimately though I rather have two then none

lovelifewife · July 2015

Prayers for you and your decision and a healthy outcome, girl of faith! I'm leaning on prayer so much. I can say, I'm a multiple and I think twins would be a blast, but I'm biased! The risks are scary though, I agree!

girloffaith · July 2015

thank you all!!! c0513, what were some of the negatives that he mentioned besides preterm labor/low birth weight? i think i was so naive before when i was doing IUIs with multiple follicles (which could have easily ended with multiples), and now i just know more and seems more intentional with actual embryos. gah!

KidShrink · July 2015

What scares me are the potential complications of preterm labor (vision, hearing, GI, respiratory problems, cerebral palsy). I work with kids with disabilities, so that's all I see, hence the bias. I know many families with twins who've had no problems as well. And then there's people who have singletons and problems too. Only transferring one doesn't mean no problem, and transferring two doesn't mean there will be a problem.
My piece of advice: follow your gut. What would your decision be if you didn't have time to think about it?

girloffaith · July 2015

all great points, kidshrink! did your family members/friends with twins end up having complications, out of curiousity? and my gut goes literally back and forth! when i think about the health risks, i think ONE; when i think about baby/babies, i think TWO!

KidShrink · July 2015

No. My aunt gave birth to twins, perfectly healthy and at term, same thing for my friend (delivered at 38 weeks). DH's grandma is a twin, now age 92 with Alzheimer, but was healthy all along. Two sets of clients had triplets. Delivered a few weeks early, each set has a kid with autism but I doubt that's related. Because of work, I'm on a FB group for kids with neurodevelopmental problems (CP, autism, etc), so a lot of those kids are preemies, some twins.

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