Hello Friends,
It's been a while again! I wonder, is our January 2016 PGAL group something people are interested in maintaining? We've really been decimated by our members' losses - many of our most active, frequently posting women are gone now and I know that's something I'm still troubled by. My heart is with them every day. At this point I think the rest of us must be in our 2nd trimester and the majority have passed their loss dates. I think it's natural, when faced with lots of sad news and the desire to move beyond our personal fears for our own pregnancies, that a PGAL group might be something that some of us are looking for some distance from. After all, it's a community we all wish we weren't a part of even though it's such a source of strength and comradery! I know I've been scared to even be more active on BMBs in general because I'm so frightened that I might experience another loss and then say goodbye, as so many brave participants have done, to my online community along with my baby.
Does anyone else feel the same way? Do we still want to keep up with our regular PGAL check-ins, or just blend into the general discussions and use the loss boards outside the January group when we want to? I know there are other resources for PGALs on this site, but I also liked that we were all due at the same time and therefore experiencing lots of the same stuff together. I did a quick check of other month groups that are farther along than us and others still have PGAL groups that are keeping it up. I can commit to posting more often if others want to too.
Just thought I'd initiate the discussion and see what the rest of you think. As I've said I haven't always been very active around here so I defer to my sisters-in-arms!
Re: PGAL Check-In 7/22
The recent losses have really shaken me. It reminded me that we are never really "safe", and I'm really nervous that I'm going to be the next unlikely statistic. I try to think of stats, but then I think about how the chances of losing my baby at 9-10 weeks was supposed to be small, too, yet it still happened. I haven't had a ton of symptoms this time, and they've all but vanished the past few days, so that makes my paranoia even worse.
My next OB appt is 7/31. I hope to have an elective ultrasound the next day to find out the sex. I am purposefully scheduling it after my appt, even though I could have it this weekend, because I'm terrified there won't be a HB and I'd rather find out at the OB than visually at an elective us clinic (the resolution is much higher than at my OB's office). How messed up and morbid is that?
Sorry for rambling. I'm just really jumpy right now with nerves and emotions. Blah. Anyone else?
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
The recent losses have hit close to home for me as I experienced my last loss at 14 weeks. I am now 2 weeks past that milestone, but it really hasn't gotten easier.
I have a borrowed a Doppler from a friend and told myself I'd only use it a few times a week, but with my anxiety being so high I've used it almost daily. I have 2 weeks til my 18 week appt and ultrasound and it feels like forever.
I think monthly check ins here are a good idea, I'd hate to cut them out completely. Just my 2 cents.
I have just my second appointment tomorrow at 12.6 and even though I've passed my milestone I am still starting to get nervous bc of the more recent losses. I didn't have any symptoms with my MMC in November and I think because of that I don't really ever feel reassured based on how I'm feeling.
Lots of people get excited for their upcoming doctors appointments but I feel so worried about each one going wrong that I have nightmares and don't sleep well. Trying to think more positively but really once you've had a devastating appointment you just kind of wait for the next one like it's an eventuality rather than the rare chance it truly is.
I'm grateful to have this community to lean on. I think of you all a lot and knowing I'm not going through this in this way alone is super helpful.
TTC#1 May 2009- July 2010 on our own with no luck
Started with RE in August 2010, dx with unexplained IF and then finally our 3rd IUI cycle using Follistim and Trigger resulted in our wonderful little man. Born 12/2/11
TTC#2 Never really prevented, but were careful early on as Dr. reccomended
Surprise BFP 12/16/13, started progesterone immediately as first numbers came back low, but betas were good. Progesterone wasnt enough. Natural MC 12/24/13.
Back with RE as of January 2014...
5/27/14- Chemical Pregnancy
April 2015 IVF#1
5/13/15- BFP, please stick LO!
Oh and I'm a major Harry Potter Nerd
I like the check ins as well. I don't always check in but I like to keep tabs on all you ladies. I'm still really upset about the losses we've seen/experienced and it's hard to focus on the positive sometimes. PGAL check in is good to remind us all that there is still good things happening for other PGAL ladies.
I'm looking forward to our babies kicking things up a bit...literally. I, for one, know I'll feel so much better when I finally feel this baby move.
@SummerOH , I totally understand about scheduling the u/s for after your OB appt. I'm really hoping I start feeling the baby move by the time I have my a/s scan in two weeks or I'm going to be a total disaster.
I hope I can schedule the anatomy scan tomorrow, as well.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my singing probably COULD hurt my baby. It's really bad. Like cats-fighting bad. My LO would probably come out with little mini pencils it somehow fashioned jammed in its ears.
Anyway, you totally belong here! It's so helpful to know we're not alone in our crazy, irrational paranoia and fear. That alone makes it better somehow!
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
My ds WA born at 32+2, I'd gone into labor at 31+5. He is an amazing healthy, smart little boy! I had a natural at home in January at around 7 weeks, the day before I was scheduled for my dating us so we never got to see the baby.
@Lemonpig1 I was so glad to see you post the check in today because of all days I really needed it. Three times over the last week I've had a tight, cramping feeling just over my public bone but no spotting so I tried to tell myself there was nothing to worry about. I spoke with one of the nurses at my Dr's office today and she said that with my history they want to be extra cautious and check on it. I gave a urine sample today (check for hcg I guess) and she squeezed me in for an us tomorrow at 230 to check cervical length. She said not to worry, that it is probably just my uterus stretching. I'm trying not to worry but... the recent losses on the board are a reminder that 2nd tri isn't a guarantee.
Reading about other pgal mom's who are having success is encouraging and I'd love to participate and give my support if we continue to have monthly check ins. Sorry that this was such a long, rambling reply but I feel so scatter brained right now.
Good luck to you!! You're in my thoughts today.
The anxiety has been interfering with my work motivation today. I feel bad, but I've stayed late every day this week.
3 and half more hours.
I'm REALLY freakin nervous. And my Dad is always like why?
*face palm*
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
Yes! You ladies totally get it! I felt kind of goofy even posting that, but it was just rolling around in my head and I had to get it out. So glad I did! You captured what I was thinking 100%. She is 8 weeks and posted the ultrasound, so yes - EXACTLY - I'm jealous of that innocence and glib attitude. And now I feel kind of robbed of my news, because it's going to be like, "Meh, so what - another pregnancy" even though I'm 6 weeks ahead of her. I know this is wrong, but I'm like...But this was so hard for me!! This is a big deal! Make it a big deal! (Again, I completely realize how childish I sound!) On the other hand, it will totally be a huge deal for my in-laws. My MIL is pretty much the best woman ever. So lucky to have her.
I'm totally in therapy, even now. So you're not the only one, LemonPig1!
Have you had your appointment yet, Kara? How did it go?
Also, I have no idea how to do the @ thing when on a computer...usually mobile.
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
@SummerOH I'm sorry y Pou had to hear about your brother's girlfriends pregnancy of facebook. That's just not right! Maybe they didn't know how to tell you so they didn't do it at all? Still, it's not right.
@KaraEpp16 I'm so glad that your appointment went well. That is a great heartbeat! I'm so happy for you.