I've never known anyone who expected for other people to throw them a baby shower. Ha! Must be a Miami thing.
ETA: honestly, here everyone plans their own shower. In fact, many people invite you to their shower and ask you to pay $20 (for example) to cover the cost in addition to a gift. This is usually because most people host their showers at a venue that cost money per plate.
I just think it's interesting that to all of you it is so offensive to throw your own shower when in all seriousness that's just the norm in my area.
DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
I've never known anyone who expected for other people to throw them a baby shower. Ha! Must be a Miami thing.
ETA: honestly, here everyone plans their own shower. In fact, many people invite you to their shower and ask you to pay $20 (for example) to cover the cost in addition to a gift. This is usually because most people host their showers at a venue that cost money per plate.
I just think it's interesting that to all of you it is so offensive to throw your own shower when in all seriousness that's just the norm in my area.
Please stop saying its a Miami thing. It's not. Just because there are some people who have poor etiquette, please don't disgrace everyone in the whole city with it.
I've never known anyone who expected for other people to throw them a baby shower. Ha! Must be a Miami thing.
ETA: honestly, here everyone plans their own shower. In fact, many people invite you to their shower and ask you to pay $20 (for example) to cover the cost in addition to a gift. This is usually because most people host their showers at a venue that cost money per plate.
I just think it's interesting that to all of you it is so offensive to throw your own shower when in all seriousness that's just the norm in my area.
WHAT?!?!? What neighborhood do you live in??? I was raised in Miami and everyone I know there would clutch their pearls heavily at all of this. FTR - that would be North Miami/Surfside/Bal Harbour/Miami Shores.
My born and raised Miami parents wouldn't throw my shower for me on my first child b/c they even still follow the rule that it's uncouth for the a grandmother to be to throw the shower.
@Peony1982 Why didn't I know you were a Miami girl? My mom is from the Shores and I have some cousins on my dads side that grew up there and went to St. Rose and Curly. Small world.
@Peony1982 Why didn't I know you were a Miami girl? My mom is from the Shores and I have some cousins on my dads side that grew up there and went to St. Rose and Curly. Small world.
Well, I was born there but left before high school.. Still lots of family, though! I went to Country Day, dad to Shores Elementary/MCDS, Mom went to Notre Dame (Now part of Curley). Lots of friends did St. Rose. Super small world!
@Peony1982 Why didn't I know you were a Miami girl? My mom is from the Shores and I have some cousins on my dads side that grew up there and went to St. Rose and Curly. Small world.
Well, I was born there but left before high school.. Still lots of family, though! I went to Country Day, dad to Shores Elementary/MCDS, Mom went to Notre Dame (Now part of Curley). Lots of friends did St. Rose. Super small world!
My husband wants a "baby-q". Is it bad etiquette for him to throw us one in honor of our baby? He loves to grill. It's just fun for him.
Anything that mentions your baby or pregnancy or baby will likely be perceived as a baby shower. Just have a BBQ and don't mention the baby on any invites. Honestly, if he wants to do it in honor of your baby, he should wait until the baby is actually here to be honored.
FWIW, I hate the term baby-q. It sounds like you're grilling a baby.
I do hope you feel better about yourself now that you've tried to ruin another pregnant woman's day. You are obviously full of etiquette yourself. People really are this serious and judgmental over a baby shower? This is getting ridiculous. Some people spend their lives trying to show how much better they are than everyone, and some people just have fun and enjoy their life, I'm glad I'm part of the second group. Count me out of the etiquette party because I plan on throwing my own shower, or party or whatever ya'll want to call it to make it feel more appropriate. There's a lot of people that want to come, and I am willing to host it so judge away. I'm going to be in my corner having a lot of fun with friends and family and talking baby stuff with people that want to be there with me, while the judgmental people sit in their sad corner sniffing at how I obviously chose an inappropriate color of pink for a baby shower. Have fun.
THIS!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the most entertaining thread I have ever read. I have chosen not to pick a side because tbh I don't know what I think because I believe it depends on the situation. But come on ladies, BE NICE. Not every group of friends are the same.
And that's the beauty of etiquette. Following the rules of etiquette assures you that you will make ALL of your guests comfortable, not just those who think the way you do.
DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
This is the most entertaining thread I have ever read. I have chosen not to pick a side because tbh I don't know what I think because I believe it depends on the situation. But come on ladies, BE NICE. Not every group of friends are the same.
And that's the beauty of etiquette. Following the rules of etiquette assures you that you will make ALL of your guests comfortable, not just those who think the way you do.
People may have "thoughts" But I don't think it will make them "uncomfortable". I laughed when I read that. If you're "uncomfortable" then you're too worried about other people. They're supposed to be your close friends and family, I think they will still be happy to get an invite and still enjoy coming to shower the baby and you. If I was inviting people Im not close with, or snooty people, then maybe I'd worry about it. But I honestly don't think "uncomfortable" was the best word choice. Because really, once you get over the shock of someone throwing their own, it doesn't matter anymore.
Uh, yeah, it makes me uncomfortable when my friends and family see me as nothing more than a wallet, than a source of gifts. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood. You get welcomed once. If I want to buy you a gift for a subsequent child, I don't need to be invited to a shower to do so.
DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
Uh, yeah, it makes me uncomfortable when my friends and family see me as nothing more than a wallet, than a source of gifts. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood. You get welcomed once. If I want to buy you a gift for a subsequent child, I don't need to be invited to a shower to do so.
This thread is about women throwing their own...not having a second shower....
To each their own.
I wouldn't say I'm uncomfortable with a woman throwing their own shower. I'm quite comfortable judging the crap out people who throw their own showers.
It's not about being snooty, it's about having some semblance of humility.
I've thrown my own shower, not a big deal. Has nothing to do with being gift grabby etc. Sometimes people don't have someone offering to give them a shower, so it's understandable that some still want to have a shower for their baby. Honestly I love just having the family together. Playing games, welcoming the baby. I never put on the invitation (must bring gift). That's all up to the person. I have never asked or demanded. My mil was going to throw me a shower. She set a date and I invited family etc. But then she didn't really do anything. So I just took over. I just had fun planning games, hanging decorations, making food etc. I even bought game prizes. Showers are all fun to me whether someone planned it the self or not. It's really not that big of a thing.
@latina211508 If no one offers, you don't get one. A shower is a gift, not an entitlement. Further, while you would hopefully never stoop that low to require gifts on an invitation (probably the only thing tackier than planning your own shower), showers are gift giving events. It's basic common knowledge. This is the reason that it's gift grabby to throw it for yourself.
Can your family only get together because of a pregnancy? Of course not. If that was all you wanted then you would just throw a family get together, not centered around your pregnancy.
@DylansCandyBar that's really sad you think that way. I didn't know there were rules, wait there isn't. There is no rule saying I can't throw my own shower. I may do as I please. What's tacky is thinking you're above people because you feel you have basic common knowledge. Which is not having basic common knowledge. Because that makes no sense. That's your opinion. Everyone does things differently. Also no I can't just have family over whenever I would like. So for awesome occasions; birthdays, Christmas, baby showers it is the best time to get the family together. You don't know everyone's personal lives. So if anyone choses to throw their own, do it. Who cares. If people disagree then they don't have to come. There are some people who are just ignorant and love to tell you what you can and can't do etc.
@DylansCandyBar that's really sad you think that way. I didn't know there were rules, wait there isn't. There is no rule saying I can't throw my own shower. I may do as I please. What's tacky is thinking you're above people because you feel you have basic common knowledge. Which is not having basic common knowledge. Because that makes no sense. That's your opinion. Everyone does things differently. Also no I can't just have family over whenever I would like. So for awesome occasions; birthdays, Christmas, baby showers is the best time to get the family together. You don't know everyone's personal lives.
@Latina211508 Of course you are going to do as you please, but you should be aware that what you are doing is considered rude and tacky by the majority of the population, which most likely includes some of your nearest and dearest. Not that they would say it to your face. Etiquette does not cease to exist simply because you are unaware of it or don't care to follow it.
I'm sorry you find it sad that I care about the comfort and feelings of my loved ones. I think it's sad that you don't.
I can't comprehend how people feel so strongly about this when the "rules" that are followed are from what you've witnessed from others around you or from some book of etiquette dug up for the occasion. So obviously the book can't assure that everyone is pleased or a perfect solution for every situation and the observation would mean we all see different ways of doing it. Do what fits your situation and everyone will get over it. All these arguments remind me of when people argued about people eloping or doing destination weddings-"How dare they get married far from me or not invite me?" I assure you if you are the nearest and dearest you will be there and if you aren't the couple will still get married. What if you don't happen to have someone to help you or throw you a shower (maybe both families are irresponsible assholes or new city no friends)? I guess it sucks for you and you dont deserve one!? Why shouldn't you do it yourself? The guests will know you are pregnant and it maybe be more offensive the you highlight "Don't bring a gift". It's just a celebratory party does it matter who hosts? Yes, there are the gift grabby people (like the ones that send out constant reminders of what's left of their registry) but just because you put a registry card in the invite doesn't make you that gift grabby psycho. Know your audience and do what suits your needs. I mean I would think maybe it would be seen as a more responsible thing for the preggo to cover costs of the shower instead of putting it on others since shes the one reaping the reward...is this not how birthday parties work? And all the others that keep babbling on here about "wanting to get off the earth" "I can't believe people"- find something else to do. It's not that big a deal that others might lead life different than you. If you don't like the thread stop checking it and replying 27 times!
@Unica1302+ I don't understand how it would be the most responsible thing for the pregnant woman to fund the shower herself. Wouldn't it be more responsible for her to use whatever money she would have spent on the shower and put that towards buying the necessities? It is her responsibility to provide for the child. Any gifts received at a shower are just a bonus. Your reasoning doesn't make sense.
All I see are excuses from people who want to have their pretty princess party and get all the gifts.
Stop. Just stop. Own up to the fact that you want gifts and you are making up any reason you can think of to get around the rules of etiquette. Yes, there are rules.
You know why you are hearing about so many women throwing their own showers or having subsequent showers after the 1st baby? Because it's becoming a sad trend, started by one person and then snowballing. The people around them were polite to their face (etiquette) and never told them that what they were doing was rude. And since no one thought to tell them, they've spread the word to others that "OMG, you should TOTES throw your own shower like I did!" And now it's spreading so much that the lines of etiquette have been blurred by gift-hungry, entitled women who think the world needs to stop and appreciate how special they are for being able to procreate. It's disgusting.
@OliveOyl2014 - I'm just saying it could be seen the way by some not that it should be seen that way always. For some women who maybe are in financial need, it might be about the gifts - and of course they should be gracious and not annoying. But for some it might be more to bring people together and celebrate- the registry being an if you want to bring something( because let's get real, people will know you are pregnant and might want to bring something) but the gifting not being the goal and expectation.
The goal of rant was just to say there can't be one set of applied rules for everyone. It's unfair to attack so repeatedly and unnecessarily harshly just because it isn't what one would do for themselves. That being said of course there are people that get completely out of hand, those exist in every situation.
@Unica1302+ But the purpose of a baby shower is to be 'showered with gifts.' If someone just wants a party to get together without the expectations of presents, then just have a party and leave 'baby shower' out of it.
When people hear 'baby shower', they think of gifts. When they hear 'come over for a BBQ', they think it's just a party.
@MyCousinVinny not necessarily. For example I have a large extended family who just found out I was pregnant at another family event earlier this month. At parting they were all "let us know when the baby shower is!". They couldn't care less who threw the baby shower, they just figure it's coming,let me know. If for some reason I had no1 to throw me shower and abided by what many of you were saying ( ie throwing myself a bbq and noting no gifts required) they would be confused and possibly offended. If I didn't have one at all, they would also feel left out. What I'm stressing is different situations call for different plans of actions. For 3 of my cousins baby showers I could not tell you who put up the money or how the work was divided up. And I'm close to all 3 of them and clearly I was not all up in their planning committee. There was no boo hoo thank you speech for someone else's efforts so I assume preggo was all up in he planning and prepping. Nobody cared and the showers were great.
For many people when a close person to them is pregnant they expect to be invited to a shower to celebrate. All I'm saying is pushing some weird "come celebrate but don't do what you expect to do at any other baby is coming celebration" can also be off putting. I don't think most guests give a crap who put the money an effort down for the shower. They go as an expectation and I don't think it's "considerate" to make things weird for them bc of some behind the scenes issues of etiquette, my sister/mom won't throw me one, will they think I'm gift grabby...blah blah blah.
Let me final note- yes there are crazy preggos out there who push their registries at people, demand someone plan their shower to an extravagant extent, or have whatever these stupid silent showers are (I saw that on some post somewhere). Those are outliers, weirdos- I'm not speaking for or considering those people.
@MyCousinVinny not necessarily. For example I have a large extended family who just found out I was pregnant at another family event earlier this month. At parting they were all "let us know when the baby shower is!". They couldn't care less who threw the baby shower, they just figure it's coming,let me know. If for some reason I had no1 to throw me shower and abided by what many of you were saying ( ie throwing myself a bbq and noting no gifts required) they would be confused and possibly offended. If I didn't have one at all, they would also feel left out. What I'm stressing is different situations call for different plans of actions. For 3 of my cousins baby showers I could not tell you who put up the money or how the work was divided up. And I'm close to all 3 of them and clearly I was not all up in their planning committee. There was no boo hoo thank you speech for someone else's efforts so I assume preggo was all up in he planning and prepping. Nobody cared and the showers were great.
For many people when a close person to them is pregnant they expect to be invited to a shower to celebrate. All I'm saying is pushing some weird "come celebrate but don't do what you expect to do at any other baby is coming celebration" can also be off putting. I don't think most guests give a crap who put the money an effort down for the shower. They go as an expectation and I don't think it's "considerate" to make things weird for them bc of some behind the scenes issues of etiquette, my sister/mom won't throw me one, will they think I'm gift grabby...blah blah blah.
Let me final note- yes there are crazy preggos out there who push their registries at people, demand someone plan their shower to an extravagant extent, or have whatever these stupid silent showers are (I saw that on some post somewhere). Those are outliers, weirdos- I'm not speaking for or considering those people.
I think you're placing way too much importance on a baby shower. While people may say, "Oh, can't wait for the shower!", they probably aren't waiting with baited breath for that invitation.
Furthermore, if there is no shower, how could they feel left out? From what? Can people really not just get together without the expectation of gifts? Also, you mention running the risk of offending them. Unless you know that every.single.person that would be in attendance is accepting of this party being thrown by the MTB, you can't possibly know that you won't be offending anyone.
Personally, I'd rather a few people be butthurt that there is no shower than a lot of people being offended that I threw my own gift giving party.
Plainly put, while you may not care about what goes on behind the scenes, there are some people that do. And unless you know for sure they are okay with it, you run the risk of appearing rude to them.
@MyCousinVinny not necessarily. For example I have a large extended family who just found out I was pregnant at another family event earlier this month. At parting they were all "let us know when the baby shower is!". They couldn't care less who threw the baby shower, they just figure it's coming,let me know. If for some reason I had no1 to throw me shower and abided by what many of you were saying ( ie throwing myself a bbq and noting no gifts required) they would be confused and possibly offended. If I didn't have one at all, they would also feel left out. What I'm stressing is different situations call for different plans of actions. For 3 of my cousins baby showers I could not tell you who put up the money or how the work was divided up. And I'm close to all 3 of them and clearly I was not all up in their planning committee. There was no boo hoo thank you speech for someone else's efforts so I assume preggo was all up in he planning and prepping. Nobody cared and the showers were great.
For many people when a close person to them is pregnant they expect to be invited to a shower to celebrate. All I'm saying is pushing some weird "come celebrate but don't do what you expect to do at any other baby is coming celebration" can also be off putting. I don't think most guests give a crap who put the money an effort down for the shower. They go as an expectation and I don't think it's "considerate" to make things weird for them bc of some behind the scenes issues of etiquette, my sister/mom won't throw me one, will they think I'm gift grabby...blah blah blah.
Let me final note- yes there are crazy preggos out there who push their registries at people, demand someone plan their shower to an extravagant extent, or have whatever these stupid silent showers are (I saw that on some post somewhere). Those are outliers, weirdos- I'm not speaking for or considering those people.
I just wanna jump in a bit here.
I find a lot of people assume others don't care about etiquette, when the answer is usually more other people don't TALK about etiquette.
Way back when I was planning my wedding, I mentioned to my mom about possibly doing a down payment registry. She wasn't really excited and she didn't really say much about it. Then I did some digging and realized it's basically asking for cash, which is against etiquette and very off putting for most people. I then realized, my mom's silence wasn't because she was uninterested, it was because she was at a loss for how to tell me my idea was extremely rude.
Also, I don't need to a shower to give a gift. I just give people gifts. I can't imagine anyone being insulted that someone didn't have a shower (unless that person is offering to host) if your family is THAT invested, I guarantee some aunt or cousin is bugging your mom trying to figure out if someone is planning a shower or offering to do it themselves.
Is it that complicated to understand that a baby shower is a privilege and not a God-given right? No one deserves a shower, and showers are not fundraising events. Also, you are not 'celebrating the baby,' you are welcoming the new (ie first time) mom into motherhood. The fact that this still hasn't gotten through everyone's heads boggles my mind.
Is it that complicated to understand that a baby shower is a privilege and not a God-given right? No one deserves a shower, and showers are not fundraising events. Also, you are not 'celebrating the baby,' you are welcoming the new (ie first time) mom into motherhood. The fact that this still hasn't gotten through everyone's heads boggles my mind.
Quoting so that maybe the entitled snowflakes will read it again in case it takes two reads for it to really sink in.
SHOWERS ARE A GIFT FROM THE HOST AND YOU ARE NOT BEING DEPRIVED OF A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT IF YOU DON'T GET ONE. YOU'LL BE OKAY AND SO WILL YOUR BABY.
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
I disagree with you completely. We're you the one who had someone host a baby shower for you? Probably because your ability to show empathy for someone else's situation seems difficult for you, although you have no issue judging.
Here's the thing. A woman who is pregnant should be able to share in the enjoyment love and showering of positive vibes that come from a baby shower. If that woman for whatever the reason does not have a friend or family to host a baby shower, they should have the ability to do so without being criticized. That means she is also shelling out the money for food and venue. Things she wouldn't have done if it was hosted by someone else. Maybe this person has friends and family who would love and support this idea and are happy she was able to even have a shower at all. I truly feel this is a judgement and a bad way of thinking. To be honest if I were throwing my own I would know my friends and family attending would understand. I guess I'm just fortunate to have people who care and don't pass judgment. I'm also fortunate enough to have family and friends throwing mine but would never judge someone for not having the support etc to have someone host.
Some people are not fortunate enough to have family or friends that are willing and able to step up and host a shower for them. I had plenty of people who expressed interest in attending a baby shower for me, but no one would offer to host it and I wasn't going to ask anyone to do it for me. A good friend of mine asked what my plans were and when I told her that I did not have one planned at all, she graciously offered to do it. In hindsight though, I really feel as if my family on both sides just expected me to throw my own because I know that neither my mother or my in laws were in a position to throw one for me.
It may not be proper etiquette for people to throw their own shower, but unless I was willing to step up and pony up the time and expenses to throw a party for them, then I have no room to sit back and pass judgment on others. You should just be thankful and consider yourself blessed to have friends and family who are generous enough and have the means to throw a party in your honor.
I just asked a question about this. Sounds like it's pretty taboo. I have no one to throw one and have never had one before. It's not about gifts. It's just to not feel so alone.
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@EstrogenFest Make friends with other moms in your area.
Showers are gift giving events. So you hosting your own is you asking people to bring you gifts.
I don't understand how a couple hours long party is going to keep you from feeling alone?
Re: People really just plan their own?
DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
WHAT?!?!? What neighborhood do you live in??? I was raised in Miami and everyone I know there would clutch their pearls heavily at all of this. FTR - that would be North Miami/Surfside/Bal Harbour/Miami Shores. My born and raised Miami parents wouldn't throw my shower for me on my first child b/c they even still follow the rule that it's uncouth for the a grandmother to be to throw the shower.
Well, I was born there but left before high school.. Still lots of family, though! I went to Country Day, dad to Shores Elementary/MCDS, Mom went to Notre Dame (Now part of Curley). Lots of friends did St. Rose. Super small world!
Well, I was born there but left before high school.. Still lots of family, though! I went to Country Day, dad to Shores Elementary/MCDS, Mom went to Notre Dame (Now part of Curley). Lots of friends did St. Rose. Super small world!
My mom went to Notre Dame!!! Lol.
FWIW, I hate the term baby-q. It sounds like you're grilling a baby.
DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
@latina211508 If no one offers, you don't get one. A shower is a gift, not an entitlement. Further, while you would hopefully never stoop that low to require gifts on an invitation (probably the only thing tackier than planning your own shower), showers are gift giving events. It's basic common knowledge. This is the reason that it's gift grabby to throw it for yourself.
Can your family only get together because of a pregnancy? Of course not. If that was all you wanted then you would just throw a family get together, not centered around your pregnancy.
@Latina211508 Of course you are going to do as you please, but you should be aware that what you are doing is considered rude and tacky by the majority of the population, which most likely includes some of your nearest and dearest. Not that they would say it to your face. Etiquette does not cease to exist simply because you are unaware of it or don't care to follow it.
I'm sorry you find it sad that I care about the comfort and feelings of my loved ones. I think it's sad that you don't.
The goal of rant was just to say there can't be one set of applied rules for everyone. It's unfair to attack so repeatedly and unnecessarily harshly just because it isn't what one would do for themselves. That being said of course there are people that get completely out of hand, those exist in every situation.
For many people when a close person to them is pregnant they expect to be invited to a shower to celebrate. All I'm saying is pushing some weird "come celebrate but don't do what you expect to do at any other baby is coming celebration" can also be off putting. I don't think most guests give a crap who put the money an effort down for the shower. They go as an expectation and I don't think it's "considerate" to make things weird for them bc of some behind the scenes issues of etiquette, my sister/mom won't throw me one, will they think I'm gift grabby...blah blah blah.
Let me final note- yes there are crazy preggos out there who push their registries at people, demand someone plan their shower to an extravagant extent, or have whatever these stupid silent showers are (I saw that on some post somewhere). Those are outliers, weirdos- I'm not speaking for or considering those people.
SHOWERS ARE A GIFT FROM THE HOST AND YOU ARE NOT BEING DEPRIVED OF A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT IF YOU DON'T GET ONE. YOU'LL BE OKAY AND SO WILL YOUR BABY.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
Here's the thing. A woman who is pregnant should be able to share in the enjoyment love and showering of positive vibes that come from a baby shower. If that woman for whatever the reason does not have a friend or family to host a baby shower, they should have the ability to do so without being criticized. That means she is also shelling out the money for food and venue. Things she wouldn't have done if it was hosted by someone else. Maybe this person has friends and family who would love and support this idea and are happy she was able to even have a shower at all. I truly feel this is a judgement and a bad way of thinking. To be honest if I were throwing my own I would know my friends and family attending would understand. I guess I'm just fortunate to have people who care and don't pass judgment. I'm also fortunate enough to have family and friends throwing mine but would never judge someone for not having the support etc to have someone host.
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
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@EstrogenFest Make friends with other moms in your area.
Showers are gift giving events. So you hosting your own is you asking people to bring you gifts.
I don't understand how a couple hours long party is going to keep you from feeling alone?
Edited for quoting fail.