People really just plan their own?

beStillbeBright

In lurking around some of the BMBs it seems that all etiquette is being thrown out the window and people are just planning their own.

It saddens me that we live in this kind of a gift grabby, all about me society.

neverblushed

I try to be entertained by it, instead of being sad about it.  I'm very fortunate that I don't know anyone who has done this IRL, which makes it easier for me to chuckle and roll my eyes.

cseley321

Some people are not fortunate enough to have family or friends that are willing and able to step up and host a shower for them.  I had plenty of people who expressed interest in attending a baby shower for me, but no one would offer to host it and I wasn't going to ask anyone to do it for me.  A good friend of mine asked what my plans were and when I told her that I did not have one planned at all, she graciously offered to do it.  In hindsight though, I really feel as if my family on both sides just expected me to throw my own because I know that neither my mother or my in laws were in a position to throw one for me.

It may not be proper etiquette for people to throw their own shower, but unless I was willing to step up and pony up the time and expenses to throw a party for them, then I have no room to sit back and pass judgment on others. You should just be thankful and consider yourself blessed to have friends and family who are generous enough and have the means to throw a party in your honor. 

CatsAreShady

Crystal321 said:

Some people are not fortunate enough to have family or friends that are willing and able to step up and host a shower for them.  I had plenty of people who expressed interest in attending a baby shower for me, but no one would offer to host it and I wasn't going to ask anyone to do it for me.  A good friend of mine asked what my plans were and when I told her that I did not have one planned at all, she graciously offered to do it.  In hindsight though, I really feel as if my family on both sides just expected me to throw my own because I know that neither my mother or my in laws were in a position to throw one for me.

It may not be proper etiquette for people to throw their own shower, but unless I was willing to step up and pony up the time and expenses to throw a party for them, then I have no room to sit back and pass judgment on others. You should just be thankful and consider yourself blessed to have friends and family who are generous enough and have the means to throw a party in your honor. 

It sucks but not everyone gets a baby shower. It's not an entitlement, it's not a requirement of pregnancy, it's literally a gift. Throwing your own shower to receive gifts is tacky.

delujm0

A friend of mine threw her own shower recently.  Another friend and i both offered, repeatedly, to host it, but she was unemployed at the time and felt bad asking any of us to take on the responsibility because we are all "busier" than she is on  a daily basis.  I even told her she could just have the RSVPs go to me so that it would at least not LOOK like she was throwing her own shower, but she declined.  I guess if you're going to do it, you may as well own the decision.  She is a very close friend, so i still attended...i would have bought her a gift even if she didn't have the shower.  but it was still pretty odd.

 

The thing is, people will buy you gifts even if you don't have a shower.  The people that WANT to get you something will ask you about your registry and buy you things.  So throwing your own shower just makes it look like you're trying to bully people who wouldn't ordinarily have bought you anything into buying you presents by inviting them to an event that you're throwing for yourself.  That is basically the definition of gift grabby.  a baby shower is not an entitlement.  you got yourself knocked up...you should assume you'll have to buy your own baby supplies, and then if someone else decides buys something for you, graciously accept it.

mrstps

I'm not saying it's not tacky to throw your own shower, but I find the gift grabby-ness of the whole thing the same whether you throw it yourself or not, which is why I'm on the fence about having one, even though someone has graciously offered to throw one me.

What's the difference if you allow someone else to throw the party for you requesting presents, or if you throw it yourself asking for gifts? Either way, you (indirectly) are asking people to come and bring you presents...

NoSugarCoating

mrstps said:

I'm not saying it's not tacky to throw your own shower, but I find the gift grabby-ness of the whole thing the same whether you throw it yourself or not, which is why I'm on the fence about having one, even though someone has graciously offered to throw one me.

What's the difference if you allow someone else to throw the party for you requesting presents, or if you throw it yourself asking for gifts? Either way, you (indirectly) are asking people to come and bring you presents...

Um, no. The person HOSTING is the one requesting the gifts be showered upon the guest of honor. Yes, the guest of honor is aware that the party is occurring (in most cases). That does not mean the guest of honor is the one requesting the gifts. 

natbcain

We just moved to a new city and are still making friends and decided to celebrate the baby with a co-Ed BBQ. Some guests brought gifts, some didn't! We made it clear we just wanted everyone to come over bring their kids/dogs and we will supply the food and drinks! I wouldn't have felt right about any of my "new" friends spending money to throw me a shower and honestly wouldn't have had enough females to make it worth anyone's while. However, couples and co-workers and some old friends and it was a great party!!
Some ppl just want to celebrate the exciting time in their lives and when they aren't surrounded by best friends and family, I think it's crazy not to do it yourself. Life is too short! Have fun, celebrate it all and make new friends along the way!

Aviere

I recently got a FB invite for a friends sister that was hosting her own. She even sent out a reminder twice a week about the date and what was left on her super long gift list. I was also tagged in a post reminding of the party the next weekend. I wouldn't have been able to attend anyway because of scheduling and we live hours away, and I even spoke to her about it. Then consequently the next day she posted about how sad it was who couldn't attend, woe is me, I have so much left to buy. Even though I invited literally everyone I know. Oh, and the standard, "you find out who your friends are" line. Anyway, I concur on the gift-grabbiness!

AmeTorres

My friends were disappointed when they found our our family wasn't throwing us a shower and decided to do it themselves. We're very lucky. We had accepted no one was going to throw us one and this is our child however I do understand throwing a party to celebrate the upcoming birth. Make it clear its not a "shower" just a last celebration before the baby takes over and to celebrate the new life coming into the world. Not everyone throws a party to get presents.

CatsAreShady

natbcain said:

We just moved to a new city and are still making friends and decided to celebrate the baby with a co-Ed BBQ. Some guests brought gifts, some didn't! We made it clear we just wanted everyone to come over bring their kids/dogs and we will supply the food and drinks! I wouldn't have felt right about any of my "new" friends spending money to throw me a shower and honestly wouldn't have had enough females to make it worth anyone's while. However, couples and co-workers and some old friends and it was a great party!!
Some ppl just want to celebrate the exciting time in their lives and when they aren't surrounded by best friends and family, I think it's crazy not to do it yourself. Life is too short! Have fun, celebrate it all and make new friends along the way!

You didn't throw yourself a shower. In fact, your way is the suggestion that we usually make to others who insist that it's not about the presents.

wassuphoes

AmeTorres said:

My friends were disappointed when they found our our family wasn't throwing us a shower and decided to do it themselves. We're very lucky. We had accepted no one was going to throw us one and this is our child however I do understand throwing a party to celebrate the upcoming birth. Make it clear its not a "shower" just a last celebration before the baby takes over and to celebrate the new life coming into the world. Not everyone throws a party to get presents.

Ok, I'm sorry, but you didn't plan a shower, your friends did, and it wasn't a shower, it was just a party, that your friends threw. What does that have to do with this thread? 

gokahne9

I personally don't think it's appropriate to throw yourself a shower. It seems very gift grabby. I would have to sit back and ask why no one offered to host a shower. Do you attend showers of others and bring gifts? Have you ever hosted a shower for any of your friends? If you are the type that doesn't participate in the events of others, maybe that's why no one is making a big deal about your event.

cps8410

I've been debating on throwing my own party and I see a lot of ladies upset by the thought of a mom-to-be throwing her own shower. My husband and I have been together for seven years and we thought we couldn't have children. Now, we are excited to be expecting our first child in November!! I want to celebrate and throw a party. I posed the the question in the November moms message board about my situation and it seemed that other posters did not like the though of a mom throwing her own party and recommended a sip and see. 

Sounds like a wonderful idea, except for inviting people over in the height of flu season around a newborn. Not to mention, it would also be around Christmas and it seems even tackier to throw a baby party around Christmas. So my plan is to not have a registry. I would like to just rent a hall in September or do an outside BBQ (if we can get a house in time for late summer) just to get everybody together. I already have the big ticket items because my family had some hand-me-downs. If people want to bring diapers or whatever, that's fine but won't be including any registry info on the invitations. If people get offended by thought thought of me throwing a party for my daughter, they don't have to come. 

If I knew a mom-to-be throwing her own shower, I would still go and bring a gift. Not too long ago, creating a baby registry was considered bad form and now you see baby registries at every store. Is it still gift grabbing to make a registry? And what exactly is the point of showing baby shower theme articles with favor ideas on these pregnancy websites if you can't plan the party yourself? Unfortunately, not everyone has the family or friends with resources to put a shower together. Throwing a shower can be expensive and I doubt that the mom-to-be would get more out of baby gifts or cash than the cost of the party. I would think that the mom-to-be just wants people to get together to celebrate and babies should be celebrated. 

sschwege

cps8410 said:

I've been debating on throwing my own party and I see a lot of ladies upset by the thought of a mom-to-be throwing her own shower. My husband and I have been together for seven years and we thought we couldn't have children. Now, we are excited to be expecting our first child in November!! I want to celebrate and throw a party. I posed the the question in the November moms message board about my situation and it seemed that other posters did not like the though of a mom throwing her own party and recommended a sip and see. 

Sounds like a wonderful idea, except for inviting people over in the height of flu season around a newborn. Not to mention, it would also be around Christmas and it seems even tackier to throw a baby party around Christmas. So my plan is to not have a registry. I would like to just rent a hall in September or do an outside BBQ (if we can get a house in time for late summer) just to get everybody together. I already have the big ticket items because my family had some hand-me-downs. If people want to bring diapers or whatever, that's fine but won't be including any registry info on the invitations. If people get offended by thought thought of me throwing a party for my daughter, they don't have to come. 

If I knew a mom-to-be throwing her own shower, I would still go and bring a gift. Not too long ago, creating a baby registry was considered bad form and now you see baby registries at every store. Is it still gift grabbing to make a registry? And what exactly is the point of showing baby shower theme articles with favor ideas on these pregnancy websites if you can't plan the party yourself? Unfortunately, not everyone has the family or friends with resources to put a shower together. Throwing a shower can be expensive and I doubt that the mom-to-be would get more out of baby gifts or cash than the cost of the party. I would think that the mom-to-be just wants people to get together to celebrate and babies should be celebrated. 

I am so sick of his argument.  If the purpose of the party was to celebrate the baby, shouldn't the baby in fact be in attendance?  I had showers hosted for my first, but not my second or third...does that make my subsequent children any less celebrated?

Unless you are comfortable wandering around asking people to buy you or your child things, then you should never host your own shower. 

You don't want to have a Sip n See, honestly can't blame you on that one, I had a December baby, I know the concerns about cold/flu season.  So what's wrong with just hosting a party, sounds like a good time.  However, no mention of a shower or party in honor of the baby should be made.  Just a BBQ at our house, send out E-vites keep it casual.  @cps8410

Sassenach1743

@cps8410, Congratulations on your first baby! 

As far as your celebration goes.... if you and your husband are going to host then let it be a regular party/ end of summer BBQ. There is no harm in doing this because it's not a gift giving event centered on you, which would need to be hosted by a 3rd party to avoid looking rude and gift grabby. If you're not concerned with gifts (which, by your post sounds like you're not) then just send out an E-invite to your friends and family for a fun pre-baby party. Do not call it a shower. Do not include registry information. Honestly, I wouldn't even mention the baby at all. Seriously, those that want to bring you a baby gift will do so on their own accord. 

I'm not saying any of this to discount the importance of your impeding birth. I understand that you're excited and want to celebrate. But if no one is offering to throw you and shower and you'd rather host your own event... then it's no longer a shower. It's a regular party. You'll still be visibly pregnant and it will most likely be the talk of the party, that should be enough to "celebrate" your new baby. Once your child is born you will spend the next 20 years having parties to celebrate her. 

p.s. a registry is really just a checklist for the parent's-to-be to keep track of the things they need AND the key to a completion coupon from the store! It's not meant to be a mandatory list of items that you expect your guests to adhere to. I believe the only reason that registries are made available to customers is because the store's goal is to ensure sales by making it easier for customers to select items to purchase by allowing them access to the list made by the couple they are shopping for. It's a marketing tool!

Kbabs47

Technically I am throwing my own shower but not at the same time. My mother is a very busy woman and the stress of putting together the party was too much for her so we agreed that I would do most of the planning etc together but something I could do on my own all while she still pays and "hosts". I'm in no way trying to be "gift grabby" though. Yes I have a registry just like every one else but I don't see the harm in that. Plus I don't enjoy surprises so I get to be gifted by my mother still with the shower all while helping her plan and make it the best day we can for me most of us know when our showers are anyway if I'm gonna be getting gifts may as well help out and contribute.

bnabarrete

To any moms who want to throw their own baby shower I say do it . You won't look gift grabby in my opinion . You want to Celeberate the life of your baby before they are here .
Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone 'host' their baby shower for them . I planned my baby shower but with the help of my parents & my fiances . everyone had a great time everyone I invited showed up some brought gifts some didn't I didn't care I just wanted people to come celebrate my baby before she is here . .
Idont see why other people think it's so wrong to host your own we don't live in the past things are different now

NoSugarCoating

DylansCandyBar

NoSugarCoating said:

Omg. Yes.

NoSugarCoating

bnabarrete said:

Idont see why other people think it's so wrong to host your own we don't live in the past things are different now

Modern etiquette experts disagree with you.

princesspriscilla

I am definitely not in the category of those "planning my own baby shower" - I am a traditionalist and agree with your observation of this becoming a "gift-grabby" society. I find it a bit tacky to plan one's own shower. It's a privilege, not a right. 

neonpotatoes

I have a friend who just hosted her own shower. Not for one second did I think she was doing it for gifts or attention. Maybe it's different outside of the Midwest, I don't know...but here, we throw showers as a get together. We create registries for people who want to buy us something but don't know what we need. The party is centered on mom and baby but is pretty much held for family and friends. It's the one day where everything is centered around mommy n baby, and all those questions and stories are perfect for that day. I am shocked at how many people who seem to imply that if you don't have friends or family wealthy enough to throw you a shower, you don't get that family get together or you are being needy and gift-grabby.

And a quick shout out to those naysaying the baby shower because only the 1st baby gets one... I have always seen showers as a celebration into motherhood, that doesn't change if you have 1 kid or 12. My sil has had showers for both her babes and that was more gift-grabby than having your own first imo.

NoSugarCoating

neonpotatoes said:

I have a friend who just hosted her own shower. Not for one second did I think she was doing it for gifts or attention. Maybe it's different outside of the Midwest, I don't know...but here, we throw showers as a get together. We create registries for people who want to buy us something but don't know what we need. The party is centered on mom and baby but is pretty much held for family and friends. It's the one day where everything is centered around mommy n baby, and all those questions and stories are perfect for that day. I am shocked at how many people who seem to imply that if you don't have friends or family wealthy enough to throw you a shower, you don't get that family get together or you are being needy and gift-grabby. And a quick shout out to those naysaying the baby shower because only the 1st baby gets one... I have always seen showers as a celebration into motherhood, that doesn't change if you have 1 kid or 12. My sil has had showers for both her babes and that was more gift-grabby than having your own first imo.

Showers need not be expensive. So, excuse fail. 

kalahall13

I don't agree with this thread at all. If someone wants to throw themselves a baby shower go right on ahead and do it. I don't believe it's "gift grabby like" at all.

On another note, people plan their own weddings to celebrate a union of love. Is that considered to be "gift grabby" because people do wedding registries too.

DylansCandyBar

kalahall13 said:

I don't agree with this thread at all. If someone wants to throw themselves a baby shower go right on ahead and do it. I don't believe it's "gift grabby like" at all.

On another note, people plan their own weddings to celebrate a union of love. Is that considered to be "gift grabby" because people do wedding registries too.

Baby showers =/= weddings. A wedding is a celebration of a marriage. Gifts are not the purpose of the event. The sole purpose of a shower is to shower the mother (or bride) to be with gifts. It's a gift giving event, which is why it's gift grabby to throw one in your own honor.

wassuphoes

kalahall13 said:

I don't agree with this thread at all. If someone wants to throw themselves a baby shower go right on ahead and do it. I don't believe it's "gift grabby like" at all. On another note, people plan their own weddings to celebrate a union of love. Is that considered to be "gift grabby" because people do wedding registries too.

dramaphile

Throwing your own shower is tacky, hands down.

I think there is a tactful way to throw yourself a party before your baby is born without making it a shower. Advertise it as mom and dad's last hurrah before baby, or something of that sort. "Come celebrate before the end of our life as we know it!"

Honestly, even if you're not having a shower, make a registry so you can get the discounts and rewards. I don't think that's gift grabby If you're not advertising it to the world. If people want to get you something, it's easy to search online for someone's registry, but they won't feel obligated to bring a gift to a party that's not advertised as a shower.

Melissadmag

I didn't even know until very recently that people didn't throw/host their own. It never even occurred to me honestly. Even knowing that, I don't know that I would necessarily ask my mom or sister to throw/host it for me because hubby and I have over 100 friends and family members  that want to come to it and I would never ask my family to take on that kind of financial burden for me. Even if I had them host a small family one for me I would still want to do one for our friends and coworkers that have been requesting to come and that adds up to a lot of people.I don't think it's selfish at all to host my own just because my family isn't wealthy enough to host it for me. It's our first (well my first) baby, and there are a lot of people excited to attend our baby shower (including myself and I shouldn't be punished or forced not to have one so people think I have etiquette) , why wouldn't I throw one? So that some uppity people can think I am more polite in society? Would it honestly make people think differently if I were to lie and say it was hosted by my mom instead of myself? If people felt that way I'm not sure I'd want them in attendance anyway. To me a baby shower is a celebration of the new life you're creating and for people that are excited about it to share the joy with you. I could care less if people bring gifts. 

NoSugarCoating

Oh. My. God. I cannot even anymore. The sense of entitlement is too much. Stop the earth, I want to get off.

delujm0

Melissadmag said:

I didn't even know until very recently that people didn't throw/host their own. It never even occurred to me honestly. Even knowing that, I don't know that I would necessarily ask my mom or sister to throw/host it for me because hubby and I have over 100 friends and family members  that want to come to it and I would never ask my family to take on that kind of financial burden for me. Even if I had them host a small family one for me I would still want to do one for our friends and coworkers that have been requesting to come and that adds up to a lot of people.I don't think it's selfish at all to host my own just because my family isn't wealthy enough to host it for me. It's our first (well my first) baby, and there are a lot of people excited to attend our baby shower (including myself and I shouldn't be punished or forced not to have one so people think I have etiquette) , why wouldn't I throw one? So that some uppity people can think I am more polite in society? Would it honestly make people think differently if I were to lie and say it was hosted by my mom instead of myself? If people felt that way I'm not sure I'd want them in attendance anyway. To me a baby shower is a celebration of the new life you're creating and for people that are excited about it to share the joy with you. I could care less if people bring gifts. 

100 people? You get that this isn't a wedding, right? That is crazy. Baby showers are for your nearest and dearest, not everyone you have ever met.

wassuphoes

delujm0 said:

I didn't even know until very recently that people didn't throw/host their own. It never even occurred to me honestly. Even knowing that, I don't know that I would necessarily ask my mom or sister to throw/host it for me because hubby and I have over 100 friends and family members  that want to come to it and I would never ask my family to take on that kind of financial burden for me. Even if I had them host a small family one for me I would still want to do one for our friends and coworkers that have been requesting to come and that adds up to a lot of people.I don't think it's selfish at all to host my own just because my family isn't wealthy enough to host it for me. It's our first (well my first) baby, and there are a lot of people excited to attend our baby shower (including myself and I shouldn't be punished or forced not to have one so people think I have etiquette) , why wouldn't I throw one? So that some uppity people can think I am more polite in society? Would it honestly make people think differently if I were to lie and say it was hosted by my mom instead of myself? If people felt that way I'm not sure I'd want them in attendance anyway. To me a baby shower is a celebration of the new life you're creating and for people that are excited about it to share the joy with you. I could care less if people bring gifts. 

100 people? You get that this isn't a wedding, right? That is crazy. Baby showers are for your nearest and dearest, not everyone you have ever met.

Also, you don't ask, someone offers. 

You are not owed a baby shower because you got knocked up.

And if all you want is a celebration, you don't call it a shower. This isn't rocket science people.

CaboBride2015

Hey everyone! I'm pregnant!! Bring me gifts and celebrate me!!!


You cannot be serious!

onefootinthebayou

Melissadmag said:

I didn't even know until very recently that people didn't throw/host their own. It never even occurred to me honestly. Even knowing that, I don't know that I would necessarily ask my mom or sister to throw/host it for me because hubby and I have over 100 friends and family members  that want to come to it and I would never ask my family to take on that kind of financial burden for me. Even if I had them host a small family one for me I would still want to do one for our friends and coworkers that have been requesting to come and that adds up to a lot of people.I don't think it's selfish at all to host my own just because my family isn't wealthy enough to host it for me. It's our first (well my first) baby, and there are a lot of people excited to attend our baby shower (including myself and I shouldn't be punished or forced not to have one so people think I have etiquette) , why wouldn't I throw one? So that some uppity people can think I am more polite in society? Would it honestly make people think differently if I were to lie and say it was hosted by my mom instead of myself? If people felt that way I'm not sure I'd want them in attendance anyway. To me a baby shower is a celebration of the new life you're creating and for people that are excited about it to share the joy with you. I could care less if people bring gifts. 

Don't worry, based on this attitude, no one will mistakenly "think you have etiquette". You're in the clear on that!

Sassenach1743

Seriously, I'm really getting sick of this statement, "I could care less if people bring gifts to my shower."

A Baby Shower is a gift giving event. See the Wikipedia definition and read the etymology entry... the point of a "shower" is to give gifts. This is why you don't host your own, because asking for gifts is tacky.

So one more time, if you don't care about gifts and don't have anyone offering you a "shower" then you don't get a "shower", you get to have a regular party that you can host yourself! And guess what, people will come and they will probably still bring you a gift if they know you are pregnant. This scenario is okay and not tacky because you're not labeling your party as a "shower" which the very definition is to give gifts! If people still show up with a gift then it's because THEY CHOSE to get you a gift on their own. 

Why is it so hard for some to understand this difference? Why must there be such a defensive and nasty response to those of us that are truly trying to give helpful and honest information/ opinions that are objective (because we are strangers on the internet)? If you don't want this objective and honest information, let alone opinions, then don't come to a public forum and then get nasty when you don't get the responses you want. Learn how to accept new information and possible criticism, you can grow from it. I know I've learned plenty from lurking and then joining the conversation. We don't know everything on our own, that's why we seek out advice and suggestions, information and opinions, from others. 

Bottom line: if you find yourself without a host to offer you a shower and you still really want to have a celebration... then your only option is to host a party for your friends and family, but it's not called a shower. It's just a party, and that's okay. If you really don't care about the gifts then you really shouldn't care that the party is not a shower either. You see what I did there?

anglgrl718

I don't understand why so many people think a shower is a celebration of the baby. How in the world can you celebrate someone who isn't there? A shower is the celebration and welcoming into motherhood for the mom. Many if not most of the things put on the registry aren't even for the baby, they're for the ease of the parents. Does a baby use a swing? Yes, but does he/she need one, nope not at all. It's for the parents to make life easier.

Melissadmag

I am well aware of that, believe me, I have met over 100 people in my life. You do understand that some people in this world have large families and it would be extremely rude not to invite the family that lives in town to your own baby shower right? I personally have 4 generations where I live, and hubby has plenty as well. Him and I both also have quite a bit of very good friends and coworkers and if people want to celebrate the life we have created together with us then there is no reason not to invite them. As I mentioned I am not one of those people that is doing it just for the gifts. Some people may use a shower as that, but perhaps some people, like myself have a different view/attitude on it. If people bring gifts, great, if not, I wouldn't be offended in any way. To me having people celebrate with us is honor enough. 

Melissadmag

I do hope you feel better about yourself now that you've tried to ruin another pregnant woman's day. You are obviously full of etiquette yourself. People really are this serious and judgmental over a baby shower? This is getting ridiculous. Some people spend their lives trying to show how much better they are than everyone, and some people just have fun and enjoy their life, I'm glad I'm part of the second group.  Count me out of the etiquette party because I plan on throwing my own shower, or party or whatever ya'll want to call it to make it feel more appropriate. There's a lot of people that want to come, and I am willing to host it so judge away. I'm going to be in my corner having a lot of fun with friends and family and talking baby stuff with people that want to be there with me, while the judgmental people sit in their sad corner sniffing at how I obviously chose an inappropriate color of pink for a baby shower. Have fun. 

DylansCandyBar

Melissadmag said:

I do hope you feel better about yourself now that you've tried to ruin another pregnant woman's day. You are obviously full of etiquette yourself. People really are this serious and judgmental over a baby shower? This is getting ridiculous. Some people spend their lives trying to show how much better they are than everyone, and some people just have fun and enjoy their life, I'm glad I'm part of the second group.  Count me out of the etiquette party because I plan on throwing my own shower, or party or whatever ya'll want to call it to make it feel more appropriate. There's a lot of people that want to come, and I am willing to host it so judge away. I'm going to be in my corner having a lot of fun with friends and family and talking baby stuff with people that want to be there with me, while the judgmental people sit in their sad corner sniffing at how I obviously chose an inappropriate color of pink for a baby shower. Have fun. 

That's the beauty of the internet, you're going to get honest opinions. Chances are the people in your real life won't want to tell you that what you are doing is rude or a breech of etiquette, there just likely to tell you what you want to hear, then talk behind your back.

wassuphoes

Oh great another person who could solve all their problems by calling it a party instead of a shower.

"I'm totally not throwing this party that is all about gifts just to get gifts! I can't believe anyone would think that! Should I use size 16 or 22 comic san's for the registry info? I don't want anyone to miss it."

didi808

I've never known anyone who expected for other people to throw them a baby shower. Ha! Must be a Miami thing.

ETA: honestly, here everyone plans their own shower. In fact, many people invite you to their shower and ask you to pay $20 (for example) to cover the cost in addition to a gift. This is usually because most people host their showers at a venue that cost money per plate.

I just think it's interesting that to all of you it is so offensive to throw your own shower when in all seriousness that's just the norm in my area.