Baby Showers

People really just plan their own?

In lurking around some of the BMBs it seems that all etiquette is being thrown out the window and people are just planning their own.

It saddens me that we live in this kind of a gift grabby, all about me society.
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Re: People really just plan their own?

  • I try to be entertained by it, instead of being sad about it.  I'm very fortunate that I don't know anyone who has done this IRL, which makes it easier for me to chuckle and roll my eyes.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • natbcain said:

    We just moved to a new city and are still making friends and decided to celebrate the baby with a co-Ed BBQ. Some guests brought gifts, some didn't! We made it clear we just wanted everyone to come over bring their kids/dogs and we will supply the food and drinks! I wouldn't have felt right about any of my "new" friends spending money to throw me a shower and honestly wouldn't have had enough females to make it worth anyone's while. However, couples and co-workers and some old friends and it was a great party!!
    Some ppl just want to celebrate the exciting time in their lives and when they aren't surrounded by best friends and family, I think it's crazy not to do it yourself. Life is too short! Have fun, celebrate it all and make new friends along the way!

    You didn't throw yourself a shower. In fact, your way is the suggestion that we usually make to others who insist that it's not about the presents.
  • AmeTorres said:

    My friends were disappointed when they found our our family wasn't throwing us a shower and decided to do it themselves. We're very lucky. We had accepted no one was going to throw us one and this is our child however I do understand throwing a party to celebrate the upcoming birth. Make it clear its not a "shower" just a last celebration before the baby takes over and to celebrate the new life coming into the world. Not everyone throws a party to get presents.

    Ok, I'm sorry, but you didn't plan a shower, your friends did, and it wasn't a shower, it was just a party, that your friends threw. What does that have to do with this thread? 
  • I personally don't think it's appropriate to throw yourself a shower. It seems very gift grabby. I would have to sit back and ask why no one offered to host a shower. Do you attend showers of others and bring gifts? Have you ever hosted a shower for any of your friends? If you are the type that doesn't participate in the events of others, maybe that's why no one is making a big deal about your event.
  • @cps8410, Congratulations on your first baby! 

    As far as your celebration goes.... if you and your husband are going to host then let it be a regular party/ end of summer BBQ. There is no harm in doing this because it's not a gift giving event centered on you, which would need to be hosted by a 3rd party to avoid looking rude and gift grabby. If you're not concerned with gifts (which, by your post sounds like you're not) then just send out an E-invite to your friends and family for a fun pre-baby party. Do not call it a shower. Do not include registry information. Honestly, I wouldn't even mention the baby at all. Seriously, those that want to bring you a baby gift will do so on their own accord. 

    I'm not saying any of this to discount the importance of your impeding birth. I understand that you're excited and want to celebrate. But if no one is offering to throw you and shower and you'd rather host your own event... then it's no longer a shower. It's a regular party. You'll still be visibly pregnant and it will most likely be the talk of the party, that should be enough to "celebrate" your new baby. Once your child is born you will spend the next 20 years having parties to celebrate her. 

    p.s. a registry is really just a checklist for the parent's-to-be to keep track of the things they need AND the key to a completion coupon from the store! It's not meant to be a mandatory list of items that you expect your guests to adhere to. I believe the only reason that registries are made available to customers is because the store's goal is to ensure sales by making it easier for customers to select items to purchase by allowing them access to the list made by the couple they are shopping for. It's a marketing tool!
    Vive Les Frasers
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  • I am definitely not in the category of those "planning my own baby shower" - I am a traditionalist and agree with your observation of this becoming a "gift-grabby" society. I find it a bit tacky to plan one's own shower. It's a privilege, not a right. 

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I am well aware of that, believe me, I have met over 100 people in my life. You do understand that some people in this world have large families and it would be extremely rude not to invite the family that lives in town to your own baby shower right? I personally have 4 generations where I live, and hubby has plenty as well. Him and I both also have quite a bit of very good friends and coworkers and if people want to celebrate the life we have created together with us then there is no reason not to invite them. As I mentioned I am not one of those people that is doing it just for the gifts. Some people may use a shower as that, but perhaps some people, like myself have a different view/attitude on it. If people bring gifts, great, if not, I wouldn't be offended in any way. To me having people celebrate with us is honor enough. 
  • didi808didi808 member
    edited July 2015
    I've never known anyone who expected for other people to throw them a baby shower. Ha! Must be a Miami thing.

    ETA: honestly, here everyone plans their own shower. In fact, many people invite you to their shower and ask you to pay $20 (for example) to cover the cost in addition to a gift. This is usually because most people host their showers at a venue that cost money per plate.

    I just think it's interesting that to all of you it is so offensive to throw your own shower when in all seriousness that's just the norm in my area.
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