posted this on the name board... didn't get a whole lot of helpful comments.

BlondeMomma92 · July 2015

hello ladies!

I hate to post this here, but I posted it originally on the nameboard and got called uneducated because of the way I chose to spell a name, More importantly it was a name I found on a NAME website... so i'll post this here with not only the names but a question as well.

My first choice for a name for my little girl is Rylee Cecelia

my second choice is Harper Charlee

I saw on nameberry.com that there are many ways to spell Rylie, and Charlie--- two of which are stated above, and also got told that i've spelled a boys name wrong, when I found the name Rylee under a unisex name list. so my questions are which name combination do you all like, and if I choose to spell the names that way... are people really not going to be able to pronounce my child's name; or do I sound in any way ignorant and uneducated because I decided to NOT go with traditional spelling?

Cook3133 · July 2015

I think they're fine the way you spelled them. My youngest is Brayden, I thought it was a "normal" way to spell it but I still have to spell it out. I liked the way it looked better than The other ways.
Heck I have a simple name and always get asked how to spell it.

I think the both look cute. I can't choose

Kern91 · July 2015

I like Harper Charlee and I like the spelling of Charlee it looks more feminine to me. I feel like Riley no matter how you spell it is becoming over done now.

I have met a lot of Riley's since daycare and other activities but haven't met a Harper yet and my child is 5.

bbiutmcph · July 2015

You do know people can see posts on all boards right?

You actually got several replies on the name board and everyone agreed Cecelia was lovely. Also no one called YOU uneducated but said misspelling names can be seen that way and there have been actual studies on this.

Squirtgun · July 2015

I'd agree with @jjr1214 , and also add that because Harper Lee just published her new book, the name Harper might get even trendier than it is. Of the names, I like Harper Cecelia best. Actually, I like Cecelia a lot. Would you consider that for the first name?

CupcakesRamazing · July 2015

Charlee is not a real spelling, rylee is not a real spelling. Right up a resume and Put the names in. Look silly? Uneducated? Yeah, your kids will have to deal with that. I suggest starting over.

rachswi · July 2015

I agree with @jjr1214...

I wouldn't necessarily think that you were uneducated, but there was a thread a little while ago (called oh my god names) where @CarrieOct15 stated, "studies have shown that people with "unusual" names (such as names spelled unconventionally, and names including characters such as apostrophes, or little-used consonants such as q or z) are associated with low socio-economic status, and students with more conventional names tend to score higher on tests than those with "unusual" names."

And I can actually attest to that as a teacher who has taught in both lower and higher socio-economic areas - there were far more instances of "unusual" names in the lower SES area.

Not necessarily anything wrong with that, but I can see where the connection between appearing uneducated and having a strange name spelling come into place.

BlondeMomma92 · July 2015

@bbiutmcph, I am aware, that people like the name cecelia... I am not as concerned with that. i'm happy that people like cecelia, I am not happy, that there were comments made such as "rylee" my eyes are bleeding.-- and the references of being uneducated yes maybe i was overly sensitive there. I can appreciate and understand a difference in opinion. however, I feel there are better ways to go about saying it, for example, I would love to see some of the studies that you are referencing because I have not heard that before. That genuinely interests me.

jpierre91 · July 2015

I like them both i guess because I'm choosing to spell Gina a non traditional way so i say go with what you feel btw I'm spelling my child's name Jena

VexedMommy · July 2015

I'm also in the Harper Cecelia camp, in part because of my love of To Kill a Mockingbird. I don't really like Rilee or Charlee. They feel trendy and as though they are trying way too hard to be cool.

rachswi · July 2015

BlondeMomma92 said:

@bbiutmcph, I am aware, that people like the name cecelia... I am not as concerned with that. i'm happy that people like cecelia, I am not happy, that there were comments made such as "rylee" my eyes are bleeding.-- and the references of being uneducated yes maybe i was overly sensitive there. I can appreciate and understand a difference in opinion. however, I feel there are better ways to go about saying it, for example, I would love to see some of the studies that you are referencing because I have not heard that before. That genuinely interests me.

https://nameberry.com/blog/unusual-baby-names-whats-good-and-bad

"Having an unusual name associated with low socio-economic status – one that contains such markers as apostrophes, little-used consonants such as z or q, and invented spellings – can have an actual negative effect on a child’s performance in school, according to Florida State psychologist David Figlio. “Teachers tend to treat children differently depending on their names, and these same patterns apparently translate into large differences in test scores,” said Figlio, who found that children with conventional names such as David or Drew performed better on tests than their own siblings named Damarcus or Da’Quan."

https://www.livescience.com/6569-good-bad-baby-names-long-lasting-effects.html

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

@BlondeMomma92 there's several studies regarding unusual/uncommon names. Here's an article regarding one on LiveScience: https://www.livescience.com/6569-good-bad-baby-names-long-lasting-effects.html

And here's USA Today: https://college.usatoday.com/2014/10/06/could-your-name-be-impacting-your-success/

The USA Today article mentions hiring bias regarding those with conventional vs unconventional names.

I'm not going to judge you for whatever you decide to name your child, but personally I'm going with a pretty conventional name for my daughter. Maybe it will give her advantages, maybe not. Either way, isn't it worth it to give your child all the possible advantages you can?

BlondeMomma92 · July 2015

I appreciate the links to these studies for what it's worth this information and the opinions are actually very helpful and I do appreciate any additional information on the subject matter
*edit can't walk and type at the same time apparently

eliztheforrizz · July 2015

Still vote Cecelia as a FN. WE CAN SEE YOU!!!!

VexedMommy · July 2015

Also, food for thought. The -ee sound tends to sound infantile and/or informal. I think names ending with that sound are best reserved for nicknames so that in formal situations a person (especially a woman) has a strong sounding name to fall back on.

bbiutmcph · July 2015

Complaining about another board is just poor message board tact which is why I said that. You posted the names on board and asked for opinions which you got. The great thing about online is that you will get honest opinions vs people saying it behind your back or your kids back because they want to be nice to your face.

The responses you are getting here are pretty similar and personally rather than get offended maybe you should think this is how people IRL will think as well even though they likely won't tell me that. Freakonomics has a whole chapter on names that is fairly interesting. A simple google search will bring up several studies on resumes/interviews/hiring/management and how names can play a role into that. There are a ton of them that talk about common vs uncommon names, ones that talk about ethnicity, misspelled names etc. Like @rachswi pointed out in another post this is a real association that names can give. Personally these are things I like to consider as well as what will my kids think when they are adults. Spelling a name with ee at the end doesn't age as well. Sure it might look cute when she is three but she is a child for a small part of life and telling people "Oh no sorry it's ee" when she is 25 and trying to grow her career it won't be as cute.

vrossolille · July 2015

Oh my gosh! People are so rude. Don't start over-you do what you want. On these boards if you haven't noticed people get snarky and "honest" with there questions. The truth is we all are having our own babies and we all have our own taste. So asking for name opinions to me is silly. Wait, not opinions but "do you like" questions. Your gonna get some good & some bad reviews. I personally would just say yes I do like it or no I don't instead of putting in ignorant comments. I don't care who wrote that article about names and scoring lower on tests. That is coincidental. There is no way on gods green earth that names are gonna make someone score lower on tests.
I am naming my daughter Aubree I love the "ee" on the end of girls names. So i also love Rylee & Charlee, like someone else said it makes it more feminine to me. Pick what your heart tells you!

flas · July 2015

I don't mind any of the names you've picked but I don't like any of the spellings you've picked. Keep in mind a name will be spoken many more times than written meaning that a different spelling will not make your child unique since it's pronounced the same way but it will be a fun adventure for them to have to constantly spell it out and of course put it at the top of resumes etc.

VexedMommy · July 2015

vrossolille said:

Oh my gosh! People are so rude. Don't start over-you do what you want. On these boards if you haven't noticed people get snarky and "honest" with there questions. The truth is we all are having our own babies and we all have our own taste. So asking for name opinions to me is silly. Wait, not opinions but "do you like" questions. Your gonna get some good & some bad reviews. I personally would just say yes I do like it or no I don't instead of putting in ignorant comments. I don't care who wrote that article about names and scoring lower on tests. That is coincidental. There is no way on gods green earth that names are gonna make someone score lower on tests. I am naming my daughter Aubree I love the "ee" on the end of girls names. So i also love Rylee & Charlee, like someone else said it makes it more feminine to me. Pick what your heart tells you!

ETA: The names likely are correlated with younger parental age, lower parental socioeconomic status at the time of the child's birth, and less importance being placed on things such as proper grammar by the child's parents. These factors do affect how well a child does in school and therefore would affect how a child performs on specific testing. Do these studies mean that a child named Charlee, Aubree, Rilee, Honoree, or anything else is doomed to failure? Of course not.

amandalt823 · July 2015

I'm not a big fan of non-traditional spelling of names but I don't think much about it either way. The name for my daughter is not a very traditional name but an old family name and some people have seemed unenthusiastic. Everyone is not going to like the name and will have some opinion of it - and that's okay, they don't have to use it. However, when you ask an opinion, you will get both sides.

About the studies, check out the name clip from Freakonomics. It's always been so interesting to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaU9vmL8i3Y

rachswi · July 2015

I actually would have to say that I agree with the ladies on the name board that Cecilia Harper is BEAUTIFUL. But yes - it is your decision.

Also, not to start anything, but @vrossolille, there is a thing called self-fulfilling prophecy (basically you say "I'm going to have a terrible day," you have a far better chance of having a terrible day because you've let yourself get into that rut). I see the same thing happening with names - People believe that the unusual spelling of "Rylee" goes with someone who is more uneducated or lower SES, they're going to believe it, and therefore they won't experience as much success.

SJFTCA · July 2015

While some posters are a bit harsher in their approach than you may like, I think that if you ask for opinions, then opinions you shall receive. You shouldn't get offended that people gave you their honest opinions when asked.

Moving on, I also am not a fan of the "ee" spelling, as I associate it with lower socioeconomic status and/or being juvenile or childish. Obviously, you should do whatever you see fit for your own child, but IMHO and as PPs have suggested, the "unique" spelling will not make the name more unique--it will just make spelling it for others more of a nightmare.

Edit: whoops, had to correct an abbreviation

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

VexedMommy said:

vrossolille said:

Oh my gosh! People are so rude. Don't start over-you do what you want. On these boards if you haven't noticed people get snarky and "honest" with there questions. The truth is we all are having our own babies and we all have our own taste. So asking for name opinions to me is silly. Wait, not opinions but "do you like" questions. Your gonna get some good & some bad reviews. I personally would just say yes I do like it or no I don't instead of putting in ignorant comments. I don't care who wrote that article about names and scoring lower on tests. That is coincidental. There is no way on gods green earth that names are gonna make someone score lower on tests. I am naming my daughter Aubree I love the "ee" on the end of girls names. So i also love Rylee & Charlee, like someone else said it makes it more feminine to me. Pick what your heart tells you!

This.

I'd also like to add that we posted those articles because OP specifically said she was interested in reading the studies.

Edit- quote fail.

lakesideknitter · July 2015

jpierre91 said:
I like them both i guess because I'm choosing to spell Gina a non traditional way so i say go with what you feel btw I'm spelling my child's name Jena

Jena will get pronounced as Jenna every time, because that's the way the English language works - that name reads Jen-a, not Jean-a. Just so you're aware, you're signing your child up for a lifetime of correcting people's pronunciation, which, I can tell you first-hand, is quite frustrating.
ETA - I will never understand why you would take a common name and spell it differently.. If you want an unusual name, pick an unusual name; if you want a common name, pick a common name, and spell it so that people will know how to pronounce and spell it. Just my two cents.
Also, how often does it have to be said - DON'T ASK FOR OPINIONS IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

mollypuss1 · July 2015

jpierre91 said:
I like them both i guess because I'm choosing to spell Gina a non traditional way so i say go with what you feel btw I'm spelling my child's name Jena

To me Gina and Jena are not pronounced the same way and this isn't a non traditional spelling, these are different names. Your child is going to spend her entire life correcting people's pronunciation of her name.

Genuine question, why can names not just be spelled correctly, why is changing the spelling trendy these days? I don't get it.

modanz1 · July 2015

mollypuss1 said:

I like them both i guess because I'm choosing to spell Gina a non traditional way so i say go with what you feel btw I'm spelling my child's name Jena
To me Gina and Jena are not pronounced the same way and this isn't a non traditional spelling, these are different names. Your child is going to spend her entire life correcting people's pronunciation of her name. Genuine question, why can names not just be spelled correctly, why is changing the spelling trendy these days? I don't get it.

I was just about to ask this same question. Not in direct reference to OP because at least the way she is spelling the names, most people would be able to decipher how to pronounce them. But I would venture to bet that some people change them just to be a pain in the ass. "Oh my name is Amy, A-I-M-E-E-Y. Wtf? Why?

helsbels222 · July 2015

I replied to that thread. Definitely didn't call you uneducated though. Yes some of those comments were a bit "rough."...I'm all for unique spellings, I mean my son's name is Jaykeb. However I feel that Charlee and Rylee do not flow and look as nice as Charlie and Rylie. I would not think you look uneducated for choosing the former spelling though. It's your baby and your perogative.

VexedMommy · July 2015

mollypuss1 said:

I like them both i guess because I'm choosing to spell Gina a non traditional way so i say go with what you feel btw I'm spelling my child's name Jena
To me Gina and Jena are not pronounced the same way and this isn't a non traditional spelling, these are different names. Your child is going to spend her entire life correcting people's pronunciation of her name. Genuine question, why can names not just be spelled correctly, why is changing the spelling trendy these days? I don't get it.

Real answer to the question - language evolves and spellings change over time. However, this typically results from cultures that previously had no relationship with each other meeting and beginning to meld traditions in various ways. One of these ways is by picking up new words and phrases. English is actually a wonderful example of this. It was originally Germanic and evolved over the years into the hodge podge it is today. Try reading Beowulf, Chaucer, or even Shakespeare in their original forms to see how much English language and spelling conventions have changed over time. That said, trying to achieve special snowflake status has not historically had an affect on grammar and spelling although it has on language.

onebadmotha · July 2015

I agree with many PPs that the "ee" spelling is childish, and won't age well. I am not a fan at all of purposeful misspellings. Like it or not, it comes off as uneducated to many people. I am not trying to be rude, and I don't think many of the PPs were either- but you ask for opinions, you need to be prepared to respect them.

I'm just going to leave this here, as this member stated my feelings on name misspellings rather perfectly:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12327146/why-name-spelling-matters/p1

VexedMommy · July 2015

Another thought. I am horrible about typos, am not a grammar whiz, and Autocorrect is an evil bitch, so please take this as mere observational humor and not a dig at anyone. It amuses me to no end to see spelling and grammar errors in posts describing why correct spelling and grammar matter.

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

I'm not a fan of purposely misspelled names, either. Rylee isn't horrible, but it's NMS.

Guys, it could be a lot worse, though:

eliztheforrizz · July 2015

vrossolille said:

Oh my gosh! People are so rude. Don't start over-you do what you want. On these boards if you haven't noticed people get snarky and "honest" with there questions. The truth is we all are having our own babies and we all have our own taste. So asking for name opinions to me is silly. Wait, not opinions but "do you like" questions. Your gonna get some good & some bad reviews. I personally would just say yes I do like it or no I don't instead of putting in ignorant comments. I don't care who wrote that article about names and scoring lower on tests. That is coincidental. There is no way on gods green earth that names are gonna make someone score lower on tests. I am naming my daughter Aubree I love the "ee" on the end of girls names. So i also love Rylee & Charlee, like someone else said it makes it more feminine to me. Pick what your heart tells you!

Crestonbaby · July 2015

To be honest the different spelling of names doesn't bother me until I have to try and pronounce them. I'm dyslexic and have a very difficult time reading words that I'm not familiar with since my brain doesn't do well with phonetics. When I don't recognize the spelling of the name I can't figure out the pronounciation. Needles to say it has lead to some uncomfortable moments... But now I've learned to just ask, how do you pronounce your name unless I'm reading out attendance for a group of children

I already have to over come so many hurdles and for me this is just one more on my list! But this is my own experience and I'm aware that not everyone struggles with this, in the end it's the OP decision on how to spell it

cdepperschmidt · July 2015

I have a student who spells her name Rylee, it's not weird at all. I thought that was how you spelled it.

AshleeM7784 · July 2015

My name is Ashlee and my advice is please stick to traditional spellings. I was named with the -ee long before it was trendy, but I've never had anyone spell my name right and people always assume I am younger and/or less educated than I am. I think Harper Charlee is fine since it's a middle name and she won't use it in an official capacity that often. Just my 2 cents...

TTCIn3Months · July 2015

I think both names are adorable and have no issue with the spelling.

HungryRunner76 · July 2015

I guess if we say we love the names and we like one name more than the other than that's helpful???

I don't like Rylee nor Charlee for many reasons so I guess the polite thing for me to say is NMS.

bellie1223 · July 2015

I'm on the fence on this one. On one side, I kind of hate it when parents go out of their way to uniquely spell a name, I know a kid named AeJae, I mean, for the love of God, that child will be spelling his name out for the rest of his life. On the other hand, my name is Annabelle, my mom chose that spelling because she thought it was the most traditional...and I have to spell my name for people Every.Single.Time. It's just something you get used to. I love Cecelia, Charlee, and Harper, Rylee is nms.

mamavbs · July 2015

Bit of a random fact, the name Imogen (which is one of our girls names- we are team green) actually derives from a misspelling. The name was originally "Innogen". Lots of people hold Shakespeare responsible for the misspelling but for some reason, Imogen just took off.

If you're going to play around with spellings, I think it's a bit better for middle names. My only opinion is that I like to know name meanings. I've picked my children's names knowing what they mean and that's important to me. Variations to spellings can affect that.

Anyway, I'm in the UK and name popularity is pretty different here. I only know 2 Riley's and they're both boys. I've never met a harper, but I think it's a nice name!

mollypuss1 · July 2015

mamavbs said:

Anyway, I'm in the UK and name popularity is pretty different here. I only know 2 Riley's and they're both boys. I've never met a harper, but I think it's a nice name!

Me too and I've never met a Riley but I do know two little babies called Harper, however I'd never even heard of the name until the Beckhams. I think that's the reason it's increased in popularity in recent years.

dramaphile · July 2015

I think if you had read any of the posts on the Baby Names board, you would realize that the regulars are not fans of creative spelling of names or boy names for girls, and you would have decided not to post. This is why it is good board etiquette (and reading the sticky posts) to lurk on at least a few posts before making a post on a board. You could have saved yourself a lot of grief. People who just barrel in and post asking for opinions are going to get burned if they don't know what they're getting into.

Also, just because a name appears on a website, does not mean it is a traditional name. Chances are, Rylee is listed as an alternate spelling, because it's just that, an alternate spelling to a traditional name. As someone who has an alternate spelling to a traditional name, I can tell you that it is obnoxious to have my name spelled wrong on EVERYTHING, even when people reply to an email that I have written them, with my name in the signature and my name as my email address.

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posted this on the name board... didn't get a whole lot of helpful comments.

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