I am having a boy and he will be. I have personally known more than one kid who needed to have it done later due to medical reasons and it was horrifically painful for them.
We are Jewish and my cousin was being circumcised 32 years ago by a rabbi and the contraption he was using got stuck. He's fine. My brother and nephew were without incident. For me, it's just preventative.
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We haven't decided, so it is something that we will need to discuss in more detail and do research on the pros and cons if we are having a boy. I never put much thought into it before but didn't think I would circumcise any boys that I have becasue my brothers aren't circumcised and as far as I know there weren't any complications, and it isn't a standard practice where I'm from. Apparently the Canadian average from 2009 was 30% of boys but individual rates varied by province; in the US the national rate according to wikipedia is about 60% but also varies by area (Western US rates are 20-30%, rates are considerably higher in the east). My husband isn's circumcised but expressed interest in circumcising our son if we have one which surprised me. We are also currently living in Europe and it isn't common over here so I'm not sure how to go about it.
I'm so glad someone brought this up! I've never thought about it - I come from a family of 5 women. I never thought to discuss with my husband. I think he is, but embarrassingly, I'm not 100% sure--- I would know if he wasn't right? About to google some images so I can figure it out!
DH is adamantly for circumcision. I don't really have an opinion one way or another, so I defer to the parent with a penis. The American Academy of Pediatrics maintains that there are clear health benefits from circumcision:
Yeah but all of these risks are already at like 1% anyway so lowering a risk that's already super low is kind of pointless.
I was just sharing the AAP's stance, since we're discussing the topic and some might find that interesting. I wasn't aware that the risk for those diseases was around 1%. I'd be curious to read your source if you would share it.
The AAP
Link? The screenshot only mentions UTIs.
Me: 30 DH: 35
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
BFP on 5/13/15 DD born 1/24/16 TTC #2 - Jun 2017 BFP on 8/24/17
DS got circumcised it was nothing for me and SO to argue about. We both agreed it was for hygenic reasons. My ex was not circumsized and often complained how much of a problem it was. Always have to peel back to clean or keep clean. Something about having the skin caught in his zipper all the time? Lol I'll never understand completely.
As far as the risks go... I'll be honest I didn't even bother to look them up because it was something we are going to do even if this one is another boy.
DH is adamantly for circumcision. I don't really have an opinion one way or another, so I defer to the parent with a penis. The American Academy of Pediatrics maintains that there are clear health benefits from circumcision:
Yeah but all of these risks are already at like 1% anyway so lowering a risk that's already super low is kind of pointless.
I was just sharing the AAP's stance, since we're discussing the topic and some might find that interesting. I wasn't aware that the risk for those diseases was around 1%. I'd be curious to read your source if you would share it.
The AAP
Link? The screenshot only mentions UTIs.
Right. And I edited my post to add that the other concerns are sexually transmitted diseases which is up to my adult son to take care of himself.
We lucked out and DS had a "natural" circumcision (which is technically a birth defect). We would've circumcised, though, and will if this one is a boy, for reasons already mentioned by those who work in the ER. I don't think it's equivalent to genital mutilation. My sister and several friends have sons and were able to watch the process (not sure if this is standard). They all said they were surprised at how little their babies reacted.
I'm not for it and here's why. Firstly for hygiene then why don't women get trimmed? You honestly think that's a good enough reason to cut the male's tip and not the ladies flappy lips? the penis looks like a finger until puberty, that's when the skin folds over. Clean the balls as you will find out are a bigger issue, those things will be covered in poop.
I feel it's unnatural and the fact if might look different the fathers? how is that a problem?
I live in the PNW, the west coast you'll see more boys who are not then are.
Dh is, both my sons are not. It's not deemed medically necessary, and therefore in Ontario, not covered by insurance so you have to pay out of pocket. We weren't really interested in paying for what is essentially cosmetic surgery, IMO.
If I have a boy, he will be circumcised. In my years in the medical field I have seen so many men that are not circumcised and It seems they are always filled with yeast once you actually pull the foreskin back to clean it. And in all honesty, I don't want my son to have to worry about it later in life. It's quick. They end up fine. And his daddy will have all the talks about what he needs to know about that department (for the most part) and I'd rather him look like daddy. I guess it's just what I'm used to. No judgements against people that don't though. It's just my preference.
If this baby is a boy he will be circumcised. Dh and I have discussed it and I left the choice to him.
I also want to add that's it's seriously refreshing to know there's a place to discuss this without it turning into a battle. Every other time I've ever seen this topic brought up its stirred up a huge fight in whatever group it was in. I'm seriously impressed.
We're crossing that bridge when we get there with this LO (we find out the sex next month). I'm pretty sure we will get it done again we just have to decide if it would be while in the hospital after birth, or done separately (which I have to look into more). We got our sons done in the hospital when he was born. We noticed right away it looked lopsided and pointed it out to the doctor that did the procedure. He told us it was just swelling and it was perfectly normal, he's done thousands of them and he knows what he is talking about. One year later we got it corrected by a pediatric urologist. Needless to say we've discussed it with my doctor that I want the doctor that performed the procedure no where near myself or this LO, thankfully he's retired now!
My advice: do your research, and trust your gut! Although looking back I'm glad we didn't have that same doctor fix it since he was a jerk and couldn't see how lopsided it was.
We will do it if we have a son because my wife is Jewish. That being said, her parents gave her brother the choice and he did it at 12. He very much wishes he had it done as a baby. So, FWIW we would rather make the choice now.
Married DW 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 ; Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020
Finding this very interesting to read as someone based in the UK! Thought you might like to hear a different cultural perspective. This is not something I would consider for my baby and is rare here although sometimes done for religious reasons. Certainly it isn't generally recommended by the national health service. My other half has made it to the age of 48 without any problems and he is not circumcised. It did use to be common a couple of generations ago but advice around hygiene and general hygiene standards have much improved since then so I personally don't think it is much of an issue. But down to what you think best and a personal choice!
OK so - I don't know what I'm having. That being said - if it is a boy - I'd say I will leave that decision to my husband. I don't have a penis. He will be the one who will likely need to explain to the kid about his little boy parts. And also why his (our son's) looks different than my husbands, in the event we choose not to circumcise.
However I do have a few thoughts on it.
1 - as a woman, I can tell you that sex is better with one that is uncircumcised. I can't explain why, but it is. Once you get used to the "is your penis eating its own head" nagging question. The first one I saw that wasn't circumcised was scary. Then I got used to it.
2 - as a potential mother. We had a few kids in our class in high school who weren't circumsized (though I have no idea how everyone knew). They got called "the uncut kid" and that seemed like teasing and unpleasant. I don't know that I'd want my kid to have to go through that over a decision that I made.
The procedure itself on an infant isn't bad. I work in a NICU and also witnessed several done on mother-baby floors in nursing school. They usually give the babies sucrose (sugar water), which when combined with sucking (on a pacifier) activates the same pathway as opioid medications. The procedure is quick, and I think of all that I have seen, only one baby even cried. After seeing them firsthand, I don't see it as being any worse that piercing a baby girl's ears. Also, my husband is not and was adamant that our son was because of hygiene and social reasons.
We did with my son when we was born last year. It was a little traumatic to watch as his mom, but it went smoothly. My husband didn't get his until he was in elementary school due to frequent infections, so that is why we decided to do so with our son, and will also have it done for any other boys we may have in the future. It healed up really quickly too.
I am STM and don't know if this will be a boy. I agonized over the decision to do it if I had a boy with first pg. My advice is to research the procedure from a medical standpoint, best to your ability with materials and support you have, like asking peds, reading journals etc. Research pros and cons as other ladies have suggested, and finally depending on your cultural and religious values, think of those, that way you have weighed all the things that would help aid or deter you in this decision. For example, having worked in health care, when I was told by a PED at a support class parents aren't allowed to be with baby, during procedure, I freaked out. I've seen and been given bogus responses to why people can and cannot be with a family member during procedures. This guy actually said because it makes them nervous and for sterile reasons. Yeah and the nurse that is holding the baby down is in scrubs. So for me, I know I can scrub up just as they can, and believe in having advocates present for all things, obviously excluding certain things like the OR. This procedure is out patient. So I started looking into alternatives, where to get it done etc and also alternatives to hospital doing it like with the Jewish community. I have read now they do use anesthetic so that is a pro for me as well. Your concerns matter and follow your gut, my second piece of advice. Congrats on a boy.
My Bachelors degree is in child and adolescent development. I took a parenting class where we discussed styles and cultures that surround parenting. One topic of discussion was circumcision. There are no valid medical reasons to have one. Boys lose some sensation in the tip of their penis as opposed to those without making sex more enjoyable for men who are uncircumcised. There are many medical journals and studies out there. If you're really adiment on an educated discussion with daddy to be and making an educated decision, I would urge you to look to medical journals rather than this post because everyone is going to insert their opinions (no matter how unbiased they try to be).
I'm in the camp that it's not medically necessary so why bother. DH is but DS is not. To me, looking like daddy or like other boys, was not a good enough reason to get it done. ("Hey buddy, you just have a little extra skin than daddy, lucky you!") Everyone is different. In school, I never heard of anyone getting made fun of for being uncircumcised (I'm not saying it doesn't happen). And besides, if it's so unsanitary, how come most men in Europe and other countries where circumcision is not the norm, are not suffering from all these infections?
I thought about this the other day, i hope the people that are against ear piercing are not in the pro-circumsition group because that would seem really odd to me. Don't pierce your daughter's ears because it would cause her pain and she can do it if she wants when she's older but cut off your son's foreskin.
I am not against circumcision, it just wasn't the right choice for us. I agree with something a pp said about whatever you choose will be the right decision for you.
^this. The hygiene reasons are actually kind of offensive.
Women get UTI's and yeast infections ten fold compared to men and nobody would tell them to have clitoral hood reduction or to cut off their labia as a preventative measure. They just have a full aisle in stores dedicated to feminine hygiene products.
It is a personal choice but I had my first son circumcised and will with this baby as well. The healing process was about a week and just had to keep the area clean and apply vasoline to the area so it wouldn't stick to the diaper. I have had many male family members get circumcised much later in life due to infections and they said it was the most painful experience ever. My opinion is save my sons from possibly having issues as they grow up and having the procedure done when they are older.
Not negative just my opinion, but I would never ever put my child through that pain because of a procedure I deem highly unnecessary. Teach your kids how to wash themselves if you are concerned with hygiene, don't mutilate their genitalia. I think this is a barbaric thing to do to a baby
^this. The hygiene reasons are actually kind of offensive.
Women get UTI's and yeast infections ten fold compared to men and nobody would tell them to have clitoral hood reduction or to cut off their labia as a preventative measure. They just have a full aisle in stores dedicated to feminine hygiene products.
Although I just wanted to point out, as horrifying as it sounds, female circumcisions do unfortunately happen still, as a cultural procedure in parts of Africa & elsewhere. Not for hygienic purposes, which seems to be the most common reason given for male circumcision.
^this. The hygiene reasons are actually kind of offensive.
Women get UTI's and yeast infections ten fold compared to men and nobody would tell them to have clitoral hood reduction or to cut off their labia as a preventative measure. They just have a full aisle in stores dedicated to feminine hygiene products.
Although I just wanted to point out, as horrifying as it sounds, female circumcisions do unfortunately happen still, as a cultural procedure in parts of Africa & elsewhere. Not for hygienic purposes, which seems to be the most common reason given for male circumcision.
Oh I know. I just meant it isn't done as routine procedure in America like male circumcision is. I think People would flip their shit if it was.
^this. The hygiene reasons are actually kind of offensive.
Women get UTI's and yeast infections ten fold compared to men and nobody would tell them to have clitoral hood reduction or to cut off their labia as a preventative measure. They just have a full aisle in stores dedicated to feminine hygiene products.
Although I just wanted to point out, as horrifying as it sounds, female circumcisions do unfortunately happen still, as a cultural procedure in parts of Africa & elsewhere. Not for hygienic purposes, which seems to be the most common reason given for male circumcision.
Oh I know. I just meant it isn't done as routine procedure in America like male circumcision is. I think People would flip their shit if it was.
I think if it was as prevalent here as male circumcision, nobody would bat an eyelash. Like they do now when you talk about boys/men having it done.
I really wonder what the difference is, between mutilating female vs male genitalia. I don't think there is a difference, when you look at the intent behind doing it. Custom, social pressure, sexuality/sexual concerns. Those reasons are all applied as justification in both procedures.
Is female circumcision more, and male less, offensive because we are women?
@StephPegasus this is exactly what I think! FGM is so appalling in our society but not male circumcision. I don't really get why either. Some "doctors" claim that FGM also helps to prevent UTIs, so would you be willing to do that to your baby girls?
Neither of my sons is circed, and if this LO is a boy, he will be left intact as well. FWIW, we live in the Midwest, and DH is circed. We both decided that the benefits didn't outweigh the risks and that we wanted to avoid what is basically a cosmedic procedure that permanently alters the natural functionality of a perfectly healthy and normal appendage.
This thread encouraged me to discuss this with my husband again. We had briefly talked about it previous to this and had different opinions, my husband thinking that circumcision may be beneficial and me not seeing the point. After doing some research we realized that no matter which side of the discussion you are on their will be literature to back up your arguments.
For us it was very telling that the Canadian Paediatric Society states that "Circumcision is a “non-therapeutic” procedure, which means it is not medically necessary. Parents who decide to circumcise their newborns often do so for religious, social or cultural reasons. To help make the decision about circumcision, parents should have information about risks and benefits. It is helpful to speak with your baby’s doctor. After reviewing the scientific evidence for and against circumcision, the CPS does not recommend routine circumcision for newborn boys. Many paediatricians no longer perform circumcisions." The CPS website goes on to list risks and benefits, providing further information for parents to make an informed decision. Circumcision rates in Canada average around 30%.
We are Canadian and the culture in Canada is a bit different than the US, in the US (particularly in the east) circumcision is more prominent in the culture. According to the AAP " after a comprehensive review of the scientific evidence, the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision. The AAP policy statement published Monday, August 27, says the final decision should still be left to parents to make in the context of their religious, ethical and cultural beliefs." More information is available from the AAP. Circumcision rates in the US are closer to 60% (higher in the east and lower in the west).
For additional comparison circumcision rates are very low (<20%) in Europe. We ended up deciding that if we have a boy we won't circumcise them because it is not medically necessary and is of no cultural or religious importance to us.
I got the rates of circumcision from Wikipedia and didn't actually verify the sources, but am assuming that the rates are fairly close.
We have not circumcised any of our 3 boys and won't if our 4th is a boy. My husband is and honestly, we both agreed it wasn't necessary. I'm not worried about teasing because so many are choosing NOT to do it now and it's not likely my boys will be the only ones without it done. While I agree it's a personal decision and could care less if people choose it for their sons, I am interested to see how many people that are circumcising their boys, are against piercing their daughters ears at a young age "without their consent"...isn't it a similar situation. (Though clearly at different ends of the spectrum, changing your LOs body without their consent)
So the difference between ear piercing and circumcision is that circumcision is perceived (wrongly or rightly) to have health benefits to the child. Ear piercing is purely aesthetic.
I circumcised my son, but not because I didn't want his penis to look different from his peers. I decided that the health benefits still exist, and the procedure was easier to recover from as an infant vs as an adult.
I have two brothers, neither was circumcised as an infant. But one had to be circumcised as a preschooler due to some anatomical development issue of the foreskin. This may have influenced my decision, but i was mostly thinking of hygiene and std risk reduction.
Totally valid reason @mvhyde. I guess I meant more of the people who are for/against circumcision because their child will "look different" from dad/peers. Either way, just a topic of conversation and to each their own
Re: Circumcision (no negative comments**)
We are Jewish and my cousin was being circumcised 32 years ago by a rabbi and the contraption he was using got stuck. He's fine. My brother and nephew were without incident.
For me, it's just preventative.
Link? The screenshot only mentions UTIs.
DD born 1/24/16
TTC #2 - Jun 2017
BFP on 8/24/17
As far as the risks go... I'll be honest I didn't even bother to look them up because it was something we are going to do even if this one is another boy.
NEW PEANUT DUE 7.2017
Right. And I edited my post to add that the other concerns are sexually transmitted diseases which is up to my adult son to take care of himself.
DS1 2010
DS2 2013
DD1 2016
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015
I also want to add that's it's seriously refreshing to know there's a place to discuss this without it turning into a battle. Every other time I've ever seen this topic brought up its stirred up a huge fight in whatever group it was in. I'm seriously impressed.
I thought about this the other day, i hope the people that are against ear piercing are not in the pro-circumsition group because that would seem really odd to me. Don't pierce your daughter's ears because it would cause her pain and she can do it if she wants when she's older but cut off your son's foreskin.
I am not against circumcision, it just wasn't the right choice for us. I agree with something a pp said about whatever you choose will be the right decision for you.
Women get UTI's and yeast infections ten fold compared to men and nobody would tell them to have clitoral hood reduction or to cut off their labia as a preventative measure. They just have a full aisle in stores dedicated to feminine hygiene products.
Not for hygienic purposes, which seems to be the most common reason given for male circumcision.
I really wonder what the difference is, between mutilating female vs male genitalia.
I don't think there is a difference, when you look at the intent behind doing it. Custom, social pressure, sexuality/sexual concerns. Those reasons are all applied as justification in both procedures.
Is female circumcision more, and male less, offensive because we are women?
Anyway, just a few thoughts...
BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
I think for people my age, most men are circ as the norm, but for my son, where I live, it is not the norm anymore.
I do not understand why women run away from uncut men? My husband is my first experience with it and I love it...