Things you learned at an inappropriately old age (stolen from another board)

bbiutmcph · July 2015

I was lurking (Jan '16) and read a hilarious post of things people didn't learn until way older than they should have. There were funny food, sex, body things etc. So I am stealing the idea and think we should do it.

I believed until I was like 19 that a Jackalope was a real animal. I remember telling my now husband that if they were fake why the local restaurant had one on their wall. After he laughed for at least 15 minutes he managed to tell me the truth. I felt like an idiot.

curfam4 · July 2015

I was 13 before I figured out what an erection was. I knew the penis went in the vagina during sex, but honestly had no idea how with it being all floppy lol...one of my grade 8 classmates enlightened me to the fact that it gets hard hahahaha

millette2015 · July 2015

I just learned at 29 (as in 30 seconds ago) that a jackalope is an animal! Wtf is that?? I'll have to google it! Lol.

I learned at 23 that you can eat the ENTIRE green onion. I'd been throwing most of it out for years!

smlowe9311 · July 2015

I didn't figure out till I was in my early 20's that the penis had to go in the vagina for sex. I kind of thought they just rubbed together or something.

LiveNLove44 · July 2015

millette2015 said:

I just learned at 29 (as in 30 seconds ago) that a jackalope is an animal! Wtf is that?? I'll have to google it! Lol. I learned at 23 that you can eat the ENTIRE green onion. I'd been throwing most of it out for years!

I almost made the same mistake! I had to read it again. It isn't real, don't worry, you have been "in the know" all along!

TheSouffleGirl · July 2015

I am 30, and did not realize until last year that a sympathy card is expressly for someone who has had a close friend or relative die - I thought it was just for anyone who needed encouragement. The wording inside is usually so vague and euphemistic that it never helped me realize! OMG, I have sent so many over the years to people who have lost jobs, struggled emotionally, etc. - but even worse, I've sent ones to people who were very sick! They must have thought I thought they were going to kick the bucket. SUPER EMBARRASSING.

millette2015 · July 2015

LiveNLove44 said:

millette2015 said:

I just learned at 29 (as in 30 seconds ago) that a jackalope is an animal! Wtf is that?? I'll have to google it! Lol.

I learned at 23 that you can eat the ENTIRE green onion. I'd been throwing most of it out for years!

I almost made the same mistake! I had to read it again. It isn't real, don't worry, you have been "in the know" all along!

Lol! I just googled it and saw the picture.... Yeah, not real. Thanks for the heads up!

Sweet Sadie Mae · July 2015

whoa some of these are weird...just weird. But highly entertaining. I'm thinking of something to add...brb

anorthro · July 2015

I learned at 29 that raisins are really just partially dried grapes.

bbiutmcph · July 2015

@BrooklynBroussard in a weird way it makes sense LOL. Plus Dude, I thought a jackalope was real.

LiveNLove44 · July 2015

anorthro said:

I learned at 29 that raisins are really just partially dried grapes.

@anorthro, this made me laugh. No judgement, just amusement

Birdee212 · July 2015

Loving these. So. Much. But I can't think of anything good! I learned too much at an inappropriatly YOUNG age.

Um, I guess I learned in my early twenties that you aren't supposed to clean cast iron skillets with Dawn. I was doing dishes for my MIL one day and she asked if I'd made sure not to use dish soap on the cast iron and I was like, "..............Of course not!"

bbiutmcph · July 2015

@Birdee212 I had no idea about cast iron either until my husband looked like I was torturing small animals when I did it to his.

ChariZae · July 2015

BrooklynBroussard said:

anorthro said:

I learned at 29 that raisins are really just partially dried grapes.

I just learned two weeks ago that PRUNES are actually a PLUM! Mind blown.

I was trying to think of something while reading this thread, and I just learned 2 seconds ago that prunes are plums. Say whaaa?

Birdee212 · July 2015

@BrooklynBroussard I learned this in the dorms too when someone else made that mistake. Thank God it wasn't me!

elmann1 · July 2015

I learned at 25 that my dad doesn't like ketchup. My ENTIRE life I've put ketchup on his hamburgers, or his fries, I've always kind of assumed and he never said anything. Until I went to give him the ketchup my mom was like "your dad doesn't eat ketchup! Not ever!" even my brothers knew. I felt like a terrible daughter lol.

#2: I know what an "hors d'oeuvres" IS, but I had no idea it was spelled that way until this year (age 27). I was ordering food for work and they asked about "hors d'oeuvres" via email and I was like what the...?! No we dont want a 'hors d'oeuvres'" LOL fail. Epic fail.

jenspeake · July 2015

I've seen a million war movies and heard the term fubar in almost everyone. Finally asked my husband what it stood for the other day! Duh!

And just in case I'm not the only one....FUBAR-f'ed up beyond all recognition

anorthro · July 2015

BrooklynBroussard said:

anorthro said:

I learned at 29 that raisins are really just partially dried grapes.

I just learned two weeks ago that PRUNES are actually a PLUM! Mind blown.

That seems like an appropriate thing to learn during pregnancy. *goes back to stuffing face with prunes*

savedbygrace1213 · July 2015

I learned at 17 or 18 during Christmas dinner that it is not 'smashed potatoes' it's 'mashed potatoes!'

devonsd315 · July 2015

jenspeake said:

I've seen a million war movies and heard the term fubar in almost everyone. Finally asked my husband what it stood for the other day! Duh!

And just in case I'm not the only one....FUBAR-f'ed up beyond all recognition

I was in the military so I knew all these... the one that always makes me laugh is when people say "snafu" which stands for "situation normal, all f'ed up". I laugh to myself whenever my boss says snafu because I don't think she knows it's origin.

twogirlsandagreen · July 2015

I didn't think I had one but I do. When I was 18 I was at work and super hungry, but didn't feel like leaving to get lunch. There were some eggs in the refrigerator, so I decided to microwave one thinking a hard cooked egg sounded good. Yeah. No clue. It sounded like a bomb went off when the door of the microwave flew off and the office smelled like fire for a good week. Oopsie.

devonsd315 · July 2015

I didn't learn until college that you have to have the water boiling before you put the pasta in. Which is like the most basic cooking skill you should have. If you put the pasta in and then boil the water, it is not good.

kfry22 · July 2015

My husband bought a new diesel truck this year. It's an automatic. I asked why doesn't it have the thing to go from neutral to drive on the steering wheel. He tells everyone I said that and laughs and laughs. I'd never been in a manual vehicle before.

When we started dating my husband made a joke about having to help a friend change a spark plug in his truck. The friend drives a diesel truck as well. They don't have spark plugs. But I was like oh ok have fun helping. They still think that's funny 3 years later.

I also didn't know how to kiss anyone until I got my first kiss from hubby when I was 21. I had had two boyfriends before him but neither ever kissed me (one is now gay and the other is a long story). I feel like most people have had their first kiss before 21.

Wow. Looks like my hubby has taught me a lot!!

heytallmama · July 2015

Sometime in high school I asked, "what is ketchup made from?" And my friend looked at me like I was an idiot, and slowly said, "tomatoes."

Every year on March 9, we celebrate Ketchup Day, or: the Day Laura Learned Where Ketchup Comes From.

Nicole02683 · July 2015

Learned just last week from my summer campers that hamburgers were cow...not ...ham...... Yes I know who doesn't know that?! I'm 31 and I just never thought about it.......... I work in a Jewish school and I'm not Jewish..... I know there's a mo pork rule and I said " huh... Hamburgers tomorrow.... But we can't eat those here" my student said why when I said she was like um, hamburgers aren't pork.......

comland · July 2015

I grew up having a vegetable garden, but my parents only grew a few things like tomatoes and cucumbers. My husband and I now have a large vegetable garden. We try to be adventurous and grow new things each year. I am amazed at how many things I had no idea grow the way they do. For example, I had no idea that jalapeños grow on a little bush.

Elecin · July 2015

For years I'd always heard and read that Bull Fighting was a very controversial sport but I never understood why.

I just learned, literally two days ago at 31 years old, by watching the Book of Life...a KIDS movie that the bull is killed at the end of every bull fight.

I was devastated and couldn't stop talking about it the whole night!

STOOPID.

baconlady · July 2015

babycable said:

I learned at 17 or 18 during Christmas dinner that it is not 'smashed potatoes' it's 'mashed potatoes!'

lol

) My husband learned that recently as well. He swore his whole life it was "smashed potatoes" .

Elecin · July 2015

I learned this year that the southern hemisphere's summer is our winter.

I don't think I ever thought much about it but when I saw pictures of people in christmas gear in australia during our summer months I was VERY confused LOL.

Birdee212 · July 2015

Once I had to explain to all of my coworkers who Helen Keller was. I decided then and there that the Greater New Orleans area public school system would not be an option for our children.

tate62610 · July 2015

I learned at an embarrassingly old age that New England is not in Europe.

adriennerose80 · July 2015

I learned last year how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. I am in my 30s. I was also under the impression that everyone saves bacon grease out of some weird habit. It never occurred to me that you would cook with it, or that it was actually harmful to your drain. Something else I learned way too late in life (although in my defense - and it's a weak one - I don't eat pork).

miss_nix · July 2015

I discovered that the ice cream with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry is called Neapolitan... Not Napoleon... That was an interesting conversation with my high school social studies teacher. I went 16 years thinking maybe he invented it on the battlefield or something.

leighann1 · July 2015

Okay, so I know this doesn't count since it's not my own, but it's too funny not to share. Up until about 2 years ago, my husband believed that Georgia O'Keefe was a male artist who was super intrigued by vaginas... George E O'Keefe. Seriously. He's 32 and has obviously never had an art history class.

I had no idea what a BJ was or how it even worked until well into high school. Actually, most sexual references and slang just went right over my head.

jenspeake · July 2015

I remember in middle school in Home Ec class the teacher held up a pan and asked what it was called. I of course raised my hand and said Butt Cake Pan! Let's just say I was the joke of school for the week because it's a BUNT cake pan! People even wrote that in my middle school year book!

Thentherewere7 · July 2015

I just learned how to make an omelet. I'm 24. I always just made scrambled eggs with stuff in it hahah! But DH taught me when we got married.

jennylynn103 · July 2015

I didn't figure out what the "f word" was until I was 17. I knew there was one, but had no idea what it was. haha

cbolton19 · July 2015

I just realized a couple years ago that dachshund is pronounced like dox-in. I thought it was pronounced dash-hound and 'doxin' was just a sort of nickname. I'm 28.

Also, all the Jackalope stuff was cracking me up. Where I am from we have stores called Jackalope, I always new they were made up. So I didn't really think about it. Just thought they were kind of modeled after a Jack Rabbit.

ToriMinton · July 2015

We had a bulldog growing up, but he ended up attacking my mom one day & she could never get over th fear of having him in the house with us anymore. Being younger kids, my parents told us that "Spanky went to the bulldog farm"
Well...there's not actually a farm with tons of Bulldogs running around in case you were wondering.
Hahah! Just found that out when I was a senior in high school.

lrichardson11486 · July 2015

At age 18 I realized that getting your "second wind" was actually not called getting your "sack of wind".

amandagrider · July 2015

I learned this year that Egypt is in Africa. I just always assumed that it was in south Asia since it reminds me of that arid area.

Worst part about this...I learned it as I was teaching my 4th grade social studies class. Haha!!

Things you learned at an inappropriately old age (stolen from another board)

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