I was lurking (Jan '16) and read a hilarious post of things people didn't learn until way older than they should have. There were funny food, sex, body things etc. So I am stealing the idea and think we should do it.
I believed until I was like 19 that a Jackalope was a real animal. I remember telling my now husband that if they were fake why the local restaurant had one on their wall. After he laughed for at least 15 minutes he managed to tell me the truth. I felt like an idiot.
I was 13 before I figured out what an erection was. I knew the penis went in the vagina during sex, but honestly had no idea how with it being all floppy lol...one of my grade 8 classmates enlightened me to the fact that it gets hard hahahaha
I didn't figure out till I was in my early 20's that the penis had to go in the vagina for sex. I kind of thought they just rubbed together or something.
I just learned at 29 (as in 30 seconds ago) that a jackalope is an animal! Wtf is that?? I'll have to google it! Lol.
I learned at 23 that you can eat the ENTIRE green onion. I'd been throwing most of it out for years!
I almost made the same mistake! I had to read it again. It isn't real, don't worry, you have been "in the know" all along!
I am 30, and did not realize until last year that a sympathy card is expressly for someone who has had a close friend or relative die - I thought it was just for anyone who needed encouragement. The wording inside is usually so vague and euphemistic that it never helped me realize! OMG, I have sent so many over the years to people who have lost jobs, struggled emotionally, etc. - but even worse, I've sent ones to people who were very sick! They must have thought I thought they were going to kick the bucket. SUPER EMBARRASSING.
Loving these. So. Much. But I can't think of anything good! I learned too much at an inappropriatly YOUNG age.
Um, I guess I learned in my early twenties that you aren't supposed to clean cast iron skillets with Dawn. I was doing dishes for my MIL one day and she asked if I'd made sure not to use dish soap on the cast iron and I was like, "..............Of course not!"
I learned at 25 that my dad doesn't like ketchup. My ENTIRE life I've put ketchup on his hamburgers, or his fries, I've always kind of assumed and he never said anything. Until I went to give him the ketchup my mom was like "your dad doesn't eat ketchup! Not ever!" even my brothers knew. I felt like a terrible daughter lol.
#2: I know what an "hors d'oeuvres" IS, but I had no idea it was spelled that way until this year (age 27). I was ordering food for work and they asked about "hors d'oeuvres" via email and I was like what the...?! No we dont want a 'hors d'oeuvres'" LOL fail. Epic fail.
I've seen a million war movies and heard the term fubar in almost everyone. Finally asked my husband what it stood for the other day! Duh!
And just in case I'm not the only one....FUBAR-f'ed up beyond all recognition
I was in the military so I knew all these... the one that always makes me laugh is when people say "snafu" which stands for "situation normal, all f'ed up". I laugh to myself whenever my boss says snafu because I don't think she knows it's origin.
I didn't think I had one but I do. When I was 18 I was at work and super hungry, but didn't feel like leaving to get lunch. There were some eggs in the refrigerator, so I decided to microwave one thinking a hard cooked egg sounded good. Yeah. No clue. It sounded like a bomb went off when the door of the microwave flew off and the office smelled like fire for a good week. Oopsie.
I didn't learn until college that you have to have the water boiling before you put the pasta in. Which is like the most basic cooking skill you should have. If you put the pasta in and then boil the water, it is not good.
My husband bought a new diesel truck this year. It's an automatic. I asked why doesn't it have the thing to go from neutral to drive on the steering wheel. He tells everyone I said that and laughs and laughs. I'd never been in a manual vehicle before.
When we started dating my husband made a joke about having to help a friend change a spark plug in his truck. The friend drives a diesel truck as well. They don't have spark plugs. But I was like oh ok have fun helping. They still think that's funny 3 years later.
I also didn't know how to kiss anyone until I got my first kiss from hubby when I was 21. I had had two boyfriends before him but neither ever kissed me (one is now gay and the other is a long story). I feel like most people have had their first kiss before 21.
Learned just last week from my summer campers that hamburgers were cow...not ...ham...... Yes I know who doesn't know that?! I'm 31 and I just never thought about it.......... I work in a Jewish school and I'm not Jewish..... I know there's a mo pork rule and I said " huh... Hamburgers tomorrow.... But we can't eat those here" my student said why when I said she was like um, hamburgers aren't pork.......
I grew up having a vegetable garden, but my parents only grew a few things like tomatoes and cucumbers. My husband and I now have a large vegetable garden. We try to be adventurous and grow new things each year. I am amazed at how many things I had no idea grow the way they do. For example, I had no idea that jalapeños grow on a little bush.
For years I'd always heard and read that Bull Fighting was a very controversial sport but I never understood why.
I just learned, literally two days ago at 31 years old, by watching the Book of Life...a KIDS movie that the bull is killed at the end of every bull fight.
I was devastated and couldn't stop talking about it the whole night!
I learned this year that the southern hemisphere's summer is our winter.
I don't think I ever thought much about it but when I saw pictures of people in christmas gear in australia during our summer months I was VERY confused LOL.
Once I had to explain to all of my coworkers who Helen Keller was. I decided then and there that the Greater New Orleans area public school system would not be an option for our children.
I learned last year how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. I am in my 30s. I was also under the impression that everyone saves bacon grease out of some weird habit. It never occurred to me that you would cook with it, or that it was actually harmful to your drain. Something else I learned way too late in life (although in my defense - and it's a weak one - I don't eat pork).
I discovered that the ice cream with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry is called Neapolitan... Not Napoleon... That was an interesting conversation with my high school social studies teacher. I went 16 years thinking maybe he invented it on the battlefield or something.
Okay, so I know this doesn't count since it's not my own, but it's too funny not to share. Up until about 2 years ago, my husband believed that Georgia O'Keefe was a male artist who was super intrigued by vaginas... George E O'Keefe. Seriously. He's 32 and has obviously never had an art history class.
I had no idea what a BJ was or how it even worked until well into high school. Actually, most sexual references and slang just went right over my head.
I remember in middle school in Home Ec class the teacher held up a pan and asked what it was called. I of course raised my hand and said Butt Cake Pan! Let's just say I was the joke of school for the week because it's a BUNT cake pan! People even wrote that in my middle school year book!
I just realized a couple years ago that dachshund is pronounced like dox-in. I thought it was pronounced dash-hound and 'doxin' was just a sort of nickname. I'm 28.
Also, all the Jackalope stuff was cracking me up. Where I am from we have stores called Jackalope, I always new they were made up. So I didn't really think about it. Just thought they were kind of modeled after a Jack Rabbit.
We had a bulldog growing up, but he ended up attacking my mom one day & she could never get over th fear of having him in the house with us anymore. Being younger kids, my parents told us that "Spanky went to the bulldog farm" Well...there's not actually a farm with tons of Bulldogs running around in case you were wondering. Hahah! Just found that out when I was a senior in high school.
Re: Things you learned at an inappropriately old age (stolen from another board)
I learned at 23 that you can eat the ENTIRE green onion. I'd been throwing most of it out for years!
Lol! I just googled it and saw the picture.... Yeah, not real. Thanks for the heads up!
Um, I guess I learned in my early twenties that you aren't supposed to clean cast iron skillets with Dawn. I was doing dishes for my MIL one day and she asked if I'd made sure not to use dish soap on the cast iron and I was like, "..............Of course not!"
I was trying to think of something while reading this thread, and I just learned 2 seconds ago that prunes are plums. Say whaaa?
#2: I know what an "hors d'oeuvres" IS, but I had no idea it was spelled that way until this year (age 27). I was ordering food for work and they asked about "hors d'oeuvres" via email and I was like what the...?! No we dont want a 'hors d'oeuvres'" LOL fail. Epic fail.
When we started dating my husband made a joke about having to help a friend change a spark plug in his truck. The friend drives a diesel truck as well. They don't have spark plugs. But I was like oh ok have fun helping. They still think that's funny 3 years later.
I also didn't know how to kiss anyone until I got my first kiss from hubby when I was 21. I had had two boyfriends before him but neither ever kissed me (one is now gay and the other is a long story). I feel like most people have had their first kiss before 21.
Wow. Looks like my hubby has taught me a lot!!
Every year on March 9, we celebrate Ketchup Day, or: the Day Laura Learned Where Ketchup Comes From.
) My husband learned that recently as well. He swore his whole life it was "smashed potatoes" .
Also, all the Jackalope stuff was cracking me up. Where I am from we have stores called Jackalope, I always new they were made up. So I didn't really think about it. Just thought they were kind of modeled after a Jack Rabbit.
Well...there's not actually a farm with tons of Bulldogs running around in case you were wondering.
Hahah! Just found that out when I was a senior in high school.
Worst part about this...I learned it as I was teaching my 4th grade social studies class. Haha!!