- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2015 Moms
Melissadmag
member
December moms win my love
Melissadmag
member
Oh my goodness ladies....I ventured out into the other boards (possibly a big mistake). I lurked/commented on the baby shower board and was positively attacked over making a comment that I was unaware that it was considered bad etiquette to host my own baby shower. (much more in depth comment than that, but that's the gist) Apparently this is a huge no-no in baby shower world. I also made the mistake of informing them that even after finding out that it was apparently bad etiquette that I'm still going to host it because seriously, why not? Then this whole thing started about how if I throw my own and don't care about the gifts that I should call it a party and not a shower. Honestly, I can see where they are coming from with all of this, really I can, but man oh man instead of being judgement free and helpful they were positively rude, and let's just say there is a bit of a war going on in baby shower land. All these snarky comments happening and for the first time since being on the bump I feel genuinely attacked and needing to defend myself, over a freaking baby shower! People need to take a chill pill, it's a baby shower, not a ball in a castle. It has made me realize that dang I got lucky with you December 2015 moms group. Thank you all for answering my questions, cheering me on, and helping me through the stumbles and bumbles of this pregnancy without trying to attack me. I'm a FTM, so no, I don't know everything, and apparently a lot less about baby showers lol.
If you ladies do venture out onto other boards, a word of caution, be prepared because you may have to do a lot of defending yourself, or getting angry at responses. Don't join the war....like I may or may not have done.(did, I got totally sucked in)..take a second to realize that none of it really matters, if it's not helpful to you and is only serving to upset you take a break from the computer screen. Some people feel the need to upset and attack strangers on the internet to feel better about themselves when people came on there looking for help. Don't let them upset you, they do not matter to your life. I am going to try and stay strong, and stay out of this baby shower war despite knowing that I will be attacked, especially since I was dumb enough to defend myself on my last comment. I may have lost friends on the baby shower board since I apparently don't have enough etiquette to not throw my own baby shower but I am glad I have you girls, and that ya'll are the ones I have been lumped with by fate alone because genuinely, I really appreciate all of you....and I really hope ya'll don't hate me now for admitting that I will most likely throw my own shower/party thing because no one has offered to throw one for me yet, but a lot of people are wanting to come to it, and like I was telling them, I don't even care about the gifts.
Re: December moms win my love
Being gift-greedy is tasteless (with which you obv agree) but otherwise have a great get-together with your friends and leave the drama to the silly girls who live in their little world of made up rules. Stick with us, Mama
PS...didn't know we had non-Bump board police..
Good luck to you!
Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness
ETA: quote fail------
Wouldn't want people to "join the war" by bad mouthing other boards, you know.
Speaking of rude...
What kind of response were you expecting when you posted you were throwing your own shower, etiquette be damned?
As far as throwing your own shower. Make it more of a party to celebrate LO and if people want to bring gifts then great. You should try and find a cohost though. My guess is that no one wanted to do the work or they were all waiting for another to volunteer. Ask around for a cohost because when it comes to the party you are going to want to enjoy it and not run around after guests. If you are planning to play games or other activities you deserve to be the focus and not the one running it. If you are planning and paying then all they need to do is help set up, run some stuff during the event, and help clean up.
I joined The Knot when I got engaged, and I hardly ever posted because it was all etiquette all the time and it got me so worked up. I planned the entire thing on my own, did the invitations, all that. I remember something about people being so "pearl-clutchy" over someone printing their own envelopes rather than handwriting them or getting them sent somewhere to be professionally done. I addressed my own envelopes using the computer and they looked so much nicer than if I'd handwritten all of that out. I figured that if someone was offended that I didn't hand write their address, I didn't want them at our wedding, anyway.
My view on etiquette is that it is cultural and location-based (there's another word for that I can't think of right now). What may be bad form in one area of the country or the world, may be perfectly fine somewhere else.
Jamie
I was lurking on M16 and OMFG almost every single thread had someone bashing someone else. I was like woah what?! So unnecessary!!
Every new BMB always starts out this way. It's how the crazies are weeded out.
Buttttt be careful, you will be watched now... This is from someone who's been around TB for a while now.
My mother has decided to plan it without consulting me, even for the date to have it. And our tastes are extremely different. I joked with DH that I would just throw it myself but tell my SIL to act like she threw it. She gets all the glory and helps me a little with it and we take on the financial aspect so no one else has to worry about that.
I am all #teammeangirls
I love my real, honest, not afraid of snark girls.
It's the way the Internet and the bump goes. Once you are on a sticky note (someone's got an eye on you) it's hard to get off.
Not trying to pick a fight.
There was someone who was on a sticky note for me personally on my old bmb and she turned out to be bad news all around.
@Melissadmag FYI you weren't being tacky you were being ahead of the curve.
As for baby showers, I agree that I think it really just depends on personal preference, how your family does them, culture and location. Everyone is different, and not everyone is going to agree which is totally understandable. It sucks that people felt the need to attack you based on your own opinion and choice. Do what you want, at the end of the day if your happy that's what matters =]
For my baby showers (I'm having 3....family is separated and don't get together like that, it's awkward lol) we just talked to my parents and DH parents and they basically said they would be buying the big items for us which is what we needed the most help with financially. Everything else on the registry is simple stuff. If no1 offered to throw me a shower, I'd probably throw my own too lol. Since we already have a plan for the big items, I wouldn't really care if people brought anything, I've always just wanted to do the fun games! And we made them co-ed because we just wanna share this special time with everyone.
Baby Girl 12.9.15
MC 4.7.14 @ 21 W - Turners Syndrome
Jamie