Terrible mood

kleshelle · June 2015

im in a terrible mood, very overwhelmed and stressed. First off, my job is easy I like it... BUT I hate the shifts after the baby arrives in going to feel like I have zero time w it. I have been trying to get on at this hospital that will offer me 3 12s so I'll have 4 days off w my baby. BUT that fell through after the manger added me on FB and seen I was pregnant I never heard another word from them and they seemed really interested and said they'd keep in touch. Seems like they fell off the face of the earth since they won't respond to my emails. Well now that position is filled unfortunately. Not only that I'm 5 months pregnant now which is amazing! But I'm running out of time, I'm still living separate from my SO and not sure when this will change. ALSO I'm wanting to get married before the baby but having trouble figuring out how to get all this accomplished. Financially we can't "legally" get married but my beliefs as a Christian I'd still like to find a way to get married before God I don't even care if it isn't legal by law, main concern is that God blesses it. Financially we can't because we WILL need help such as WIC and won't be able to get it with his income added to mine unfortunately. Blah just hoping everything starts falling in place before too long. This is not at all how I envisioned things happening. So very upsetting, usually I don't let it get to me but today it's just overwhelming me.

CMDD · June 2015

You're not married because you want financial support from the government?

yl1m32015 · June 2015

Look, I can appreciate that you feel this is a place to vent, but you've seen how we react around here. I'm having a hard time understanding why you would add a potential boss on social media. That's a big no. And I don't understand getting "blessed" and not being legally married. And I'm with CMDD, I can't actually believe that you posted on here that you're planning to get unneeded assistance from the government. If your boyfriend makes too much to qualify, then he can support you. And why don't you live together? If you live with your parents you can't possibly have that many bills to pay.

I understand you're upset, I just have a hard time sympathizing.

ammnam14 · June 2015

I'm not sure how WIC works over there..but here in CO they only worry about your income whether you are married or not. Seeing as how I have no income I qualify. If they wanted my husbands income as well we wouldn't qualify. You might want to look into that.

Sorry you're having such a tough day.

Take it one day at a time! Hope everything starts getting better for you!

yl1m32015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
I'm not sure how WIC works over there..but here in CO they only worry about your income whether you are married or not. Seeing as how I have no income I qualify. If they wanted my husbands income as well we wouldn't qualify. You might want to look into that.

Sorry you're having such a tough day. Take it one day at a time! Hope everything starts getting better for you!

But you're married, correct? So how does that work?

ammnam14 · June 2015

I am married. They don't want the spouses income..just yours. I'm not sure how that works.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

kleshelle said:
im in a terrible mood, very overwhelmed and stressed. First off, my job is easy I like it... BUT I hate the shifts after the baby arrives in going to feel like I have zero time w it. I have been trying to get on at this hospital that will offer me 3 12s so I'll have 4 days off w my baby. BUT that fell through after the manger added me on FB and seen I was pregnant I never heard another word from them and they seemed really interested and said they'd keep in touch. Seems like they fell off the face of the earth since they won't respond to my emails. Well now that position is filled unfortunately. Not only that I'm 5 months pregnant now which is amazing! But I'm running out of time, I'm still living separate from my SO and not sure when this will change. ALSO I'm wanting to get married before the baby but having trouble figuring out how to get all this accomplished. Financially we can't "legally" get married but my beliefs as a Christian I'd still like to find a way to get married before God I don't even care if it isn't legal by law, main concern is that God blesses it. Financially we can't because we WILL need help such as WIC and won't be able to get it with his income added to mine unfortunately. Blah just hoping everything starts falling in place before too long. This is not at all how I envisioned things happening. So very upsetting, usually I don't let it get to me but today it's just overwhelming me.

I'm not sure that I understand this correctly. You want to get married because you want G-d to bless your union, but you don't want to get legally married because then you would not qualify for aid?

Maybe I have this wrong, but if you're not getting married in order to manipulate the system (by circumventing your combined income as a married couple,) is that not also a sin?

yl1m32015 · June 2015

Yea I have to agree that ripping off the government pretty much negates you trying be Christian here. Just doesn't make sense.

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

Life would be so much easier if I quit my job and had the government take care of me or if DH and I skipped the legal marriage. Unfortunately I help PAY for people who mooch off the government. Doesn't seem fair, but not my style to live that way if I can help it.

Harsh reality, you made a baby...now you have to pay for it. I honestly do wish you the best.

yl1m32015 · June 2015

magburt said:
Life would be so much easier if I quit my job and had the government take care of me or if DH and I skipped the legal marriage. Unfortunately I help PAY for people who mooch off the government. Doesn't seem fair, but not my style to live that way if I can help it.

Harsh reality, you made a baby...now you have to pay for it. I honestly do wish you the best.

1,000 times YES!

lalg28 · June 2015

DH and I have been marrived five years and saved and waited to have a baby all those years in order to be sure we had enough for me to stay home with baby. We've both worked long hours and hard jobs and DH has spent most of his time traveling. I am so not sorry for you at all. Grow up and stop expecting government handouts.

rain0831boww · June 2015

I can't provide you any advice on the marriage thing because there is too much I can say about that.

One thing though: DO NOT ADD ANYONE ON FACEBOOK when looking for a job. I don't know what kind of poster you are but if you are an over sharer, it's no bueno. Watch what you post on social media...sometimes, less is more - or at least don't add someone so quickly.

jessica122015 · June 2015

So confused on wanting to get married just because you want some peace of mind and forgiveness from God. I'm a Christian and so is my SO and we are not married. We understand the circumstances of our situation in getting pregnant but I have no desire to have a shotgun wedding to make the people around me or myself feel like I can right this wrong. I don't think someone should want to get married to cover up a situation or not get married to receive a form of financial stability from the government. I think two people should get married because ultimately they love each other and want to spend their lives together and decide together to take that marriage vow and work from there. For rich or for poor, in sickness and in health, etc.

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

@AudriannaMaria says family income, not wife income.

yl1m32015 · June 2015

"For richer, for poorer, and for the government assistance..."

Is not how it goes. I have no problem when people truly need assistance, but clearly OP, you don't.

ammnam14 · June 2015

@magburt They only wanted my income as I stated twice already.

Thanks for googling it though.

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

If you live with your parents you could be saving so so so much money! Take advantage of that and put in in savings.

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
@magburt They only wanted my income as I stated twice already. Thanks for googling it though.

You're welcome.

I like learning the facts.

yl1m32015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
@magburt They only wanted my income as I stated twice already. Thanks for googling it though.

So my dh makes over $100K a year. I certainly do not. I myself could certainly apply for assistance. Does that mean I should? Obviously not. That would be incredibly insulting to those who work their tails off to pay into assistance, including my own husband. So clearly that logic doesn't make any sense and maybe this just shows how faulty and pathetic our government assistance programs truly are.

You have stated that you CHOOSE not to work while your husband is in the military. Your choice of not working and grabbing government handouts is lazy and offensive.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

magburt said:

AudriannaMaria said:
@magburt They only wanted my income as I stated twice already. Thanks for googling it though.
You're welcome. I like learning the facts.

Plus, if you're receiving benefits that you're not qualified for… You likely have to pay them back. So it is very helpful to know!

CMDD · June 2015

i'm totally appalled. shocked.

I'm also wondering, @kleshelle, what your SO thinks about all of this? Are you engaged? Have you planned to marry soon? If it's against your religious beliefs to have a child out of wedlock how would getting married 'fix' that? Have you two discussed your future together?

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

Having a baby out of wedlock and getting pregnant out of wedlock are one in the same, right?

Not that I have a personal problem with this--just for the sake of Christian values.

ammnam14 · June 2015

I'm just telling you about my experience. At the office I explained our income. They only wanted mine. So find that offensive if you want. Get over yourselves. We don't all make 100k. My husband is in the military we make roughly 20k. Such is life.

MrsBwIVF · June 2015

This whole post is a train wreck. This is why we have a lot of problems in this country, people taking advantage of everything they can because they think they deserve more than what they're willing to work for.
And I'm sorry, isn't it like $100 to get married at a court house?

CMDD · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:

I'm just telling you about my experience. At the office I explained our income. They only wanted mine. So find that offensive if you want. Get over yourselves. We don't all make 100k. My husband is in the military we make roughly 20k. Such is life.

Why dont you get a job?

ammnam14 · June 2015

Why don't you mind your own?

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
I'm just telling you about my experience. At the office I explained our income. They only wanted mine. So find that offensive if you want. Get over yourselves. We don't all make 100k. My husband is in the military we make roughly 20k. Such is life.

Get over ourselves? I don't make nearly $100K. I'm a teacher, my DH has a public service job too. We BOTH work full time and bust our asses. You choose not to be employed. I'd love to be a stay at home wife, but I think it's unethical to do that and accept government handouts.

CMDD · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:

Why don't you mind your own?

I suppose because me and my DH are supporting you so that you don't have to work.

jessica122015 · June 2015

I think it's more of not remaining abstinent before marriage. I think pregnancy and having a child out of wedlock is just proof of not saving yourself for marriage or being abstinent. I know a few people who found out there were pregnant at around 5-6 weeks and rushed to a courthouse to in a way cover up their pregnancy. Because when people hear about your marriage and then later hear about your pregnancy it sort of makes it seem OK and then people overlook it. But once people do the math and calculate 40 weeks back, they often find out the marriage was to cover up the pregnancy. This is the exact reason I decided to wait to get married. My SO and I had already planned on Summer 2016 (after I get my degree) and I was upset when his parents tried forcing us into marriage just to make my pregnancy appear "OK"

ammnam14 · June 2015

Well its just as bad to bash people for using government handouts. I'm not "cheating the system." I went in there just like everyone else and gave them my info. If anything be upset with the lenient offices for allowing me to get aid. I am planning to be a stay at home mom. This is why I dont work.

You make 100k by being a teacher? That is amazing. My mother has been a teacher for 30 years and doesn't make nearly half of that.

jessica122015 · June 2015

@AudriannaMaria you're actually responding to the wrong person. @Embuzz247 actually stated that her DH makes $100K and @magburt never mentioned how much she made, she just mentioned her occupation.

yl1m32015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
Well its just as bad to bash people for using government handouts. I'm not "cheating the system." I went in there just like everyone else and gave them my info. If anything be upset with the lenient offices for allowing me to get aid. I am planning to be a stay at home mom. This is why I dont work.

You make 100k by being a teacher? That is amazing. My mother has been a teacher for 30 years and doesn't make nearly half of that.

She specifically said she does NOT make 100k a year...

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

AudriannaMaria said:
Well its just as bad to bash people for using government handouts. I'm not "cheating the system." I went in there just like everyone else and gave them my info. If anything be upset with the lenient offices for allowing me to get aid. I am planning to be a stay at home mom. This is why I dont work.

You make 100k by being a teacher? That is amazing. My mother has been a teacher for 30 years and doesn't make nearly half of that.

Please re read what I wrote.

I said I don't even make close to that.

ammnam14 · June 2015

Lol I realize she said she didn't make 100k by being a teacher. My mistake.

lalg28 · June 2015

I just want to say I love all you ladies who work for a living or whose husband works hard to make enough to provide for his family. If he can't, then we work. That is life. I can't say how sick it makes me knowing almost half my check goes to sorry, lazy people like we're finding in this post. And just for the record, no, I don't think you should make almost the same money as me for flipping burgers, when I have an MBA.

yl1m32015 · June 2015

Knottie15445834 said:
@AudriannaMaria you're actually responding to the wrong person. @Embuzz247 actually stated that her DH makes $100K and @magburt never mentioned how much she made, she just mentioned her occupation.

Also I just wanted to extend that I was not trying to brag in any way. I was exaggerating what we make in a figurative way to make a point.

adecembermom2015 · June 2015

@AudriannaMaria I'd never bash people who actually NEED government assistance. You've had plenty of time to work and save up prior to being a SAHM. If you can live off your husband's salary, think of how much you could be saving right now!
ETA:

CMDD · June 2015

@audriannamaria the reason why what you're saying, and what @kleshelle is saying, upsets people is because you are choosing not to work (which is fine!!) but also relying on other people to support you and your baby. Some of us work really hard and have gone to school most of our lives to get degrees to support ourselves and those who REALLY need it. You do not need it because you choose to have us support you. Can you understand?

lalg28 · June 2015

@CMDD I doubt they will. People like that feel entitled to take whatever they can. They feel like they work hard enough and deserve this assistance, even when they aren't working at all and are taking it from others who have very little themselves. I live in Appalachia and see it every day. Thus my strong feelings in this matter.

lalg28 · June 2015

And don't get me wrong, some people genuinely need this assistance and I completely support that. What I don't support is people who refuse to work or who work the system.

taysun · June 2015

While I can see where you girls are coming from, it is so frustrating to see those who can do without assistance use it when it could be benefiting those who really need it instead. Especially when I am someone who was almost exclusively fed through assistance programs as an infant/child even with two working parents who did not earn nearly enough.

Want a personalized experience?

Terrible mood

Re: Terrible mood

Choose Another Board

Search Boards