I'm so. Sorry. Please forgive me. Now please go back to normal.
Love, A healing new mom
Seriously I had no idea this would be the biggest issue. Also hilarious? When your doc asks what hurts and you can only describe it as "my butthole" and DH tries not to laugh. I guess I could always say "my anal"?
Dear Boss, Please have something worthwhile to talk about if you are going to ask me to have a check-in call with you during my maternity leave for which I do not get paid. Although hopefully no one's quitting in my absence or anything because then I'd feel bad. Or not. I might not care - it's my first day home with LO alone. And there's a total chance I blow through the call if LO is on a tear at exactly 1 pm. Hope that's cool!
Sincerely, Lady who hopes you are just wanting to see the baby but that's probably not it
Seriously, if you aren't getting paid for it totally say blow off those calls..Pls spend time bonding with your baby and recovering. If she really needs you she will call you. They can function without you for a few weeks. Maybe even tell her if it's super important to email you an update. I hate when jobs infringe on your personal life. Like you are supposed to be connected 24/7. Jeez!
Luckily he's a really great boss so I'm assuming it's something actually important that affects me that he doesn't want me in the dark on. It could be about my compensation (which changes while I'm on leave but the increase was TBD as of when I left), or my team, which had a bunch of changes as I was heading out. I'm nosy, so I don't mind as much as it sounds - but yeah it better be something important!
Hey ladies quick update - the phone call was to tell me I am being promoted as of July 1! I missed my mid-year review (which was supposed to be in my week 39, but LO was 9 days early). Hooray! My boss wanted to make sure I knew. Thank god, I needed this today, it's day 2 without DH and I was melting down by 8 am. News of a new title and salary increase really improved things.
i cant wait to sit there and laugh at your gagging while changing a poopy diaper. as pay back for all the times you've made me cry in the past 9 months ) Love you.
Signed, Ill make sure to somehow be really busy with something else.
Please whatever you do.... Don't pay attention to dishes, laundry, or anything that directly involves getting the house ready for baby...... Handyman work isn't cutting it. I could care less if you think cutting some hose in the basement is essential. It's not. I can barely get shit out of the dryer anymore.
Please whatever you do.... Don't pay attention to dishes, laundry, or anything that directly involves getting the house ready for baby...... Handyman work isn't cutting it. I could care less if you think cutting some hose in the basement is essential. It's not. I can barely get shit out of the dryer anymore.
Sincerely, Your pissed off wife
P.s. Pick a name. Pick it now!!!!
This!! How many times do I have to ask him to move the laundry for me! I can't bend down anymore.
Please whatever you do.... Don't pay attention to dishes, laundry, or anything that directly involves getting the house ready for baby...... Handyman work isn't cutting it. I could care less if you think cutting some hose in the basement is essential. It's not. I can barely get shit out of the dryer anymore.
Sincerely, Your pissed off wife
P.s. Pick a name. Pick it now!!!!
All of this. I really doubt that the baby will care if your new tool box is organized, but it would be great if you could wash a load of towels, because you know those can go in the dryer. Or clean out the fridge so there's room for food that people are supposed to be bringing us.
Quit throwing hissy fits about what I'm doing with the baby. Yes it is okay that I don't burp LO after he's done breastfeeding! My Mommy said so!
Yours, Wifey
Mine lectured me the other night because I put LO in the rock and play before turning the vibrating button on! Really DH! Who is the one home with LO all day?
Thanks for blowing a .081 and making us pick you up to hang out on our couch on our last night as non parents. Awesome! I love you and normally love hanging out with you. Also your dumbass is SO lucky they didn't give you a DUI.
Dear baby who's holding my womb hostage. I am usually pretty patient, but when I wake up and the bump tells me I'm five days over due I can't help feeling like what the crap. Pop out already. Love you. Sincerely, your cranky mommy.
Klkonwi, the first time I read the post you just posted I thought it said he bowled a 81. I was thinking man he sucks at bowling! I feel very slow right now.
^^^ yes! I'm actually an upbeat person usually, but this person is so sugary sweet and full of sunshine I'm going to get a diabetic sunburn.
Edited, gif vs typed words
Hahaaa..somehow that just made it all better. You are too funny! Needed that! I've been stewing. I'm upbeat too but I think what really bugs me is it comes across as condescending, like they are trying to be an "example" to all the "meanies" on here... Really!?....Especially after all the comments the other day! I'm going to try and leave it alone before I care again. I'm sure I will.
Thank you for calling me crazy and insane for being out about when I only have 6 days left. I didn't realise there was a cut off time when I could leave the house.
Took me a minute to figure out which one. please tell me they are not serious. WOW!
Dear self (again), Reminder to please beware, there are some seriously scary and clueless people in this world. You could get hurt. Love, A concerned me
Dear FIL, Please stop saying that because baby is breech he's going to be hyper. It does not mean that he's "ready to hit the ground running" and be hyper. I know you're hyper and you seem to think that all his qualities and traits are coming from your family only, but I assure you thus is not how genetics work. Also, I was breech and I'm not hyper at all. Please just chill and understand that he might look or act like me or my family or your wife's side of the family. Just because he's a boy and will have your last name does not mean he's going to look/act exactly like your family. DH doesn't even look or act like you very much. I hope he's a blend of all the good characteristics of my side and DH'S side.
Sincerely, Your very pregnant daughter in law who is nervous enough without having to worry about my child being "hyper"
Dear Mom, Please know I'm thankful you quit smoking and bought a new car last week! I would never ask you to do either of those things - you are 56 years old and I love you as you are.
But the fact you are so determined to be a healthy grandma with a safe car (for "the baby") is so amazing.
It's also great you are driving 3 hours this week to come stay with me when DH is back at work despite your fear of driving long distances that has stopped you from doing this in several years. Pop a couple extra Xanax for the road and we will see you soon!
I'm very sorry that I'm a lurker who's suddenly getting the urge to join in at 39 weeks pregnant and who is due on June 30th so is likely to give birth in July anyways. I just like y'all too much to continue to stay away. And you're the best birth month club. I solemnly swear not to be a special snowflake and to not start random AW threads and to try to snark with the best of you.
Re: Dear blank, please blank
:-&
Thank you for your much needed encouragement for us J15 mommas-to-be!
Sincerely,
In need of all the support I can get on this home stretch.
Yay for good news!! Congrats!
i cant wait to sit there and laugh at your gagging while changing a poopy diaper.
as pay back for all the times you've made me cry in the past 9 months
Love you.
Signed,
Ill make sure to somehow be really busy with something else.
You bitches. In or out. This halfway nonsense itches. Please just go away already.
Signed,
Delirious angry woman who's not sure why she's rhyming
WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS I WANT TO STAB YOU. PLEASE KNOW IT MAKES YOU OBNOXIOUS, NOT JUST MORE NOTICEABLE.
Ugh.
Love,
Me
Please whatever you do.... Don't pay attention to dishes, laundry, or anything that directly involves getting the house ready for baby......
Handyman work isn't cutting it. I could care less if you think cutting some hose in the basement is essential. It's not.
I can barely get shit out of the dryer anymore.
Sincerely,
Your pissed off wife
P.s. Pick a name. Pick it now!!!!
^^^What she said applies to you too.
Love,
Your annoyed owner
Oh, but washing his car is crucial. :-?
Quit throwing hissy fits about what I'm doing with the baby. Yes it is okay that I don't burp LO after he's done breastfeeding! My Mommy said so!
Yours,
Wifey
Next time you want to tell me I should nap more when I'm home with LO, DON'T. Just do not.
Please bring back @Westypet
Sincerely,
June moms
Thanks for blowing a .081 and making us pick you up to hang out on our couch on our last night as non parents.
Awesome! I love you and normally love hanging out with you. Also your dumbass is SO lucky they didn't give you a DUI.
Love
Your cranky pregnant SIL
I am usually pretty patient, but when I wake up and the bump tells me I'm five days over due I can't help feeling like what the crap. Pop out already.
Love you.
Sincerely,
your cranky mommy.
Just slow your roll. I continue to want to kick you in the shin.
Bah. Humbug!
Mel
Sorry...don't want to sound mean... but so over it. I'm just not in the Pollyanna mood today and it's under my skin.
Very very snarky!
Edited, gif vs typed words
I'm upbeat too but I think what really bugs me is it comes across as condescending, like they are trying to be an "example" to all the "meanies" on here... Really!?....Especially after all the comments the other day! I'm going to try and leave it alone before I care again. I'm sure I will.
ETA:
Dear self,
It's not that serious. Inhale/exhale!
Love,
Me
Thank you for calling me crazy and insane for being out about when I only have 6 days left. I didn't realise there was a cut off time when I could leave the house.
Thanks one very hormonal mummy to be
Dear self (again),
Reminder to please beware, there are some seriously scary and clueless people in this world. You could get hurt.
Love,
A concerned me
Please stop saying that because baby is breech he's going to be hyper. It does not mean that he's "ready to hit the ground running" and be hyper. I know you're hyper and you seem to think that all his qualities and traits are coming from your family only, but I assure you thus is not how genetics work. Also, I was breech and I'm not hyper at all. Please just chill and understand that he might look or act like me or my family or your wife's side of the family. Just because he's a boy and will have your last name does not mean he's going to look/act exactly like your family. DH doesn't even look or act like you very much. I hope he's a blend of all the good characteristics of my side and DH'S side.
Sincerely, Your very pregnant daughter in law who is nervous enough without having to worry about my child being "hyper"
Please know I'm thankful you quit smoking and bought a new car last week! I would never ask you to do either of those things - you are 56 years old and I love you as you are.
But the fact you are so determined to be a healthy grandma with a safe car (for "the baby") is so amazing.
It's also great you are driving 3 hours this week to come stay with me when DH is back at work despite your fear of driving long distances that has stopped you from doing this in several years. Pop a couple extra Xanax for the road and we will see you soon!
Love,
Your appreciative daughter