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October 2015 Moms
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Push presents

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Re: Push presents

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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    CEB37 said:

    mack1737 said:

    Wow so many negative comments about push presents. I guess everyone's situation is different. I did get push gifts with my first two (a diamond band for the 1st and a Gift certificate for laser hair removal for the second... Ha! I always wanted it) I know for this child (due in oct) he bought me a purse. It's sitting in a box high in our garage that I can't reach

    I think the negativity comes from the expectation that because you gave birth you are entitled to a gift. It presents a sort of ick factor.
    Until this post was posted I never even knew "push presents" existed. It's unheard of where I'm from, if I mentioned this to anyone of my friends of family they would think I'm just looking for more gifts or trying to be greedy. Not even kidding !!
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  • DeeGreerDeeGreer member
    A lot of Hispanic people get their infants a gold bracelet with their name. I lost mine when I was 5 at the lake. I won't be dropping that money and definitely won't ask my boyfriend to. He can put that in our sons savings account :)
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  • komorebikomorebi member
    doe2813 said:

    I just asked my boyfriend if I would be getting a push present he said "of course isn't that what happens when you push out a baby" I laughed and said no like a gift for pushing out the baby he said "well you keep pushing and Tiffanys jewelry comes out then your extremely special!" A No would have been just fine lol

    Okay, not nice. But funny. If i could push out jewelery with my babies id be able to afford more!

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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    CaitLewis15 said:

    Also, and maybe this is just me, but how are cars, etc., presents? Isn't it your money too? The Lexus didn't magically appear. It came out of money DH and/or you earned. Money that didn't go to something else (savings, vacation, new house, whatever).

    I'm not saying she shouldn't get a Lexus, but I am wondering at the odd disconnect with her finances. Cars aren't gifts when you're married. You paid for it one way or the other

    Well if that's the philosophy nothing really is. Unless you have separate accounts! That's why I don't really like surprise gifts anyway if I'm half paying for it ;-p

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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    mack1737 said:

    Wow so many negative comments about push presents. I guess everyone's situation is different. I did get push gifts with my first two (a diamond band for the 1st and a Gift certificate for laser hair removal for the second... Ha! I always wanted it) I know for this child (due in oct) he bought me a purse. It's sitting in a box high in our garage that I can't reach

    Haha yey finally some more suggestions! Do u regret the second gift not being sentimental or no?

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  • SMGoodlettSMGoodlett member
    My hubby and I aren't doing a "push gift" really, but he tends to buy flowers, or plants when anything big happens so I wouldn't be surprised if he did that.. (I have a garden, and can't bend to it anymore so he's been bringing home potted plants)

    I also agree with PP, I feel like I'm spoiling myself anytime we buy something for Baby because we are pretty strictly minimalist. :)

    Our "Baby Moon" is a 4 hour trip away to see Dancing With The Stars on Tour though! :D I'll be around 26 weeks by then.
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @BrooklynBroussard to be fair I asked for
    Ideas in the OP not necessarily if you agree with the idea or not! When you typically post something it's for help or info, the people saying they hate the idea- not really helping!!! But understand if you all want to commiserate over the dislike of push presents together.. To each their own!
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  • komorebikomorebi member
    I think its funny to think it's the norm. And there is no way to stop opinions on here.

    I would think something sentimental would be the only way i wouldn't feel gross about it. But id mostly be upset at the money spent. I have a pandora bracelet with charms for my girls from different Mothers days and one day i will pass on their charms with their own bracelet that they can hopefully add to.
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  • eat111315eat111315 member
    Not really a push present , but more like best surprise ever: at the hospital dh ran home to get a charger and returned with a dozen giant cupcakes from whole foods. We shared them with the nurses which got us dubbed "the cupcake family".
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    dchiapella said:

    My ideal "push present" would be making it to the hospital in time... in Salem... late October... 

    Salem, MA? I went to school there and grew up in that area so I totally know what you mean!

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    I personally don't get the idea of a "push present" and didn't get one when DS was born. I'm certainly not expecting one this time around.

    However, of my husband decided to surprise me with a charmer two for my Pandora bracelet, I wouldn't be terribly upset.

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    christina4436 said:

    @BrooklynBroussard to be fair I asked for
    Ideas in the OP not necessarily if you agree with the idea or not! When you typically post something it's for help or info, the people saying they hate the idea- not really helping!!! But understand if you all want to commiserate over the dislike of push presents together.. To each their own!

    I've never heard of a "push present" before until this post was started. I mentioned it to my mother and she asked if I lost my mind.

    Where I'm from this is so unheard of.
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  • mack1737mack1737 member
    My push gifts were never required. They were nice gestures my husband wanted to do for me.
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  • alinic916alinic916 member
    Just went back and read the original post. It's says who's getting one and if so what is it? If it's a present shouldn't it be a surprise?! Just saying.
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @aprosch by the definition maybe, although I don't even thing to define a present it has to be a surprise..but are you saying you never made or received a Christmas/holiday list, registry, or wish list and used it for giving or receiving gifts/presents?Same concept if hubby wants to know ideas of something you would like, no?
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  • VallieS86VallieS86 member
    I've actually never heard of a push present. Until I saw this thread and started reading posts. Strange concept.
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @BBaires that is a cute idea. IDK if hubby would wear another ring but I do like that idea.
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  • alinic916alinic916 member
    christina4436 said:

    @aprosch by the definition maybe, although I don't even thing to define a present it has to be a surprise..but are you saying you never made or received a Christmas/holiday list, registry, or wish list and used it for giving or receiving gifts/presents?Same concept if hubby wants to know ideas of something you would like, no?

    I think a push present is unnecessary in the first place and don't need a present for every occasion. I think asking for a specific push present makes it seem greedy, like one needs to be rewarded for pushing out a baby. Completely different for a birthday or Christmas in my opinion. Also, I think if ones husband decided to get his wife a present that is fine, but would never expect it from him.
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @aprosch IMO no one needs to be rewarded for being born or Jesus being born either (not a big bday person) but people still have lists and ask for specific presents anyway. To me there isnt really a difference, a push present is just a newer coined term or idea. Get it, your have your opinion and so that's cool..but I disagree and the reason for this post was to get ideas!

    I also don't get why people keep saying 'expecting it from a hubby' bc it's just as much my money as it is his! I'm not expecting him to go out and buy some lavish surprise. He thinks I deserve a gift and I would like one last nice thing before kids, so I'd rather have an idea of what it is vs spending money on something I don't want...
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @mrsdhouse89 good idea- I love traveling!
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  • rms924rms924 member
    jefinley1 said:
    @LiveNLove44 and @rms924 This is a good perspective for me. I have no problem with gifts, in fact I absolutely love giving them. Different people express their love in different ways and for me, giving has always been one of my key ones. I love the how you talk about the ritual, ceremony, and tradition of it. I guess what hit me the wrong way was the sense that it was something someone would feel entitled to, or that a particular gift would be expected well in advance. I always feel that the most meaningful part of the gift is the unsolicited and loving intent of the giver. And I'm always of the opinion that that intent should never cease or be put on hold because everything goes to kids after birth. I don't want an 18 year pay out for being good pusher, then it's over until the kids leave! I think the tone just threw me, and it's probably because of my own hang ups. Haha.
    I agree 100% on the entitlement piece. Trust me! On a related note, I've never been able to have a good relationship with my husband's friend's wife because I know she forced him to take out a second mortgage on his place so that she can have a 3+ carat ring! So we are on the same page. At the same time, I just think posts that suggest "if you get a push present, you are automatically blah blah blah" are a little much. Everyone has a different financial situation. But it's totally different if you demand/expect it etc. That kind of person, while I am sure lovely in many other ways, just wouldn't make it into my circle of friends. We just have different values...no judgement! :) PS. @jefinley1 have you ever read languages of appreciation? My husband's is gift giving while mine are words of affirmation, so I would prob appreciate a beautiful card far more than gifts, whereas he always loves to give gifts. Just given what you posted, wondered if you had read the book too? : )
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img 
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @rms924 'the 5 love languages'? I have read it- good book!! Mines quality time!
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  • jefinley1jefinley1 member
    edited June 2015
    @rms924 My whole family used a book like it when we were young. Mine are physical touch and gifts, and I find that what that means for me is that both of those things have to be given from a very genuine place otherwise it is almost sacrilegious to me. I hate hugs from people I don't know, because for me it's special, reserved for people who take that sign of affection toward me seriously, not just as a greeting or obligation. But recently, quality time has become so much more important as I have so little of it with my husband and family. So my entire worldview has shifted a little bit. That's why I tried to include a bit of a "squishy spot for where my life is right now" disclaimer.

    I love completely unprompted gifts that are unique to the giver. My favorite this year is the "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!" Princess Bride mug my husband got me for my birthday. Making a list kind of kills the fun for me. I love knowing that he knows me well enough to know what I'd love, even if I wouldn't think to pick that thing specifically myself. If I want something particularly, I just look at the budget, see if what I want works, and buy it. 
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  • rms924rms924 member
    @christina4436 & @jefinley1 that up there is a great example of pregnancy brain ! I have the book right here and I still some how forgot the title hahaha! 

    I am words of appreciation...it's so hard for me to give gifts also. Not sure if there's a connection there? Maybe because gifts aren't as meaningful to me, I think I don't put in as much time to pick something out, and then they end up being duds haha. My poor husband! I do try. His father's day gift took me almost a month to pick out. 
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img 
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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited June 2015
    I don't like the term "push present," although I think the concept itself is nice. Yes, the ultimate present is (of course) the baby, but it is nice to have a little special something from my husband as a sentimental recognition of the extra effort I needed to go through to give us this amazing gift (since, unlike him, I needed to go through the 9 months of discomfort followed by the day or so of significant pain). I just find it an extra token of appreciation for what I needed to go through to physically create our family. (Of course he also makes his appreciation known throughout the pregnancy, which is greatly appreciated!)

    Also, my husband and I share our finances, but we still give each other gifts. We just gift according to our current family income/financial situation...
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  • babyhansen15babyhansen15 member
    A lot of negative nelly's replying here, jeesh! If the term "nauseates" you or "disgusts" you then keep your opinions to yourself. No need to hurt other people's feelings! Baby talk is exciting and for FTM's the only topic we're intersted in for 9 months. She is simply asking for cute ideas!
    And here's mine! A small piece of jewelry with baby's birthstone!
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @babyhansen15 :-) thank you for that. I swear I'm not a bad person for wanting something nice before baby comes ;)
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  • jenn2132jenn2132 member
    No one thinks your a bad person @christina4436 the concept is just not everyone's cup of tea. Like I mentioned before I have a good friend who has no problem telling her husband she should get a push present and while it's not my style I don't love her any less, that's her deal with her husband whatever works for them. I would love if my husband surprised me with something small and sentimental like seriously a card with his words would be the best present!! I would want it to come from him though I wouldn't want to have to ask
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  • rylee murrayrylee murray member
    I got a beautiful necklace for my first daughter, and for this one a ring. I hate the reference "push present". I like to think it's a gift that represents the important life event of having a child. Each of my girls can also inherit those peices, which I think would be nice for them.
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    J1D said:

    amberrmariee20 said:

    @BrooklynBroussard haven't you learned if you don't agree, then your obviously being negative.


    If I positively disagree with you, does my comment cancel itself out and become neutral? I want to be neutral. Like Switzerland.
    Apparently your still negative if you disagree ! Haha haven't we all learned that. ;)
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    @BrooklynBroussard I don't think anyone is specifically referring to you..I think it's more about people saying 'nauseating' 'greedy' 'disgusting' like they are some kind of saint for not wanting a present. People need to get off their high horses! If you can afford it and are not asking hubby to get you something/go out of their way (it is both our money and ideas), not sure how that is concerning to anyone. I just specifically said to you I didn't ask for opinions I asked for ideas. I'm fine with opinions and that's why I said I understood people were posting them if the idea pisses them off. Sometimes people can't seem to keep their opinions to theirself :-SS
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