Push presents

christina4436

Thought this would be a fun topic :-) who is getting one? Who has gotten one in the past? And if so what? I wanted a nice handbag but SIL said should be sentimental. She does a different shape diamond band for each kid. Which is nice as well and I have looked at. JW if any other ideas with meaning!

naka92

I'm getting one! My reward for pushing my baby out will be a gorgeous little girl that I'll love to bits. 

momma=z

Since I have gestational diabetes I asked for fries, a donut and a beer lol.

Bingj

I had never even heard of push presents when I was pregnant with my first son. Then when I was pregnant with my second son, my new SIL told my husband that he had to get me one. Which made me feel awkward. I just brushed off and completely forgot about it but in the hospital he gave me pearl earrings which was such a sweet gesture. I really don't think he would have done that though if she didn't tell him to :-) I'm not one to expect gifts and I surely don't expect one for giving birth to this baby either.

beckles112

I keep joking that he has to get me one, but he probably won't. I don't know what I would want anyway. My sweet little boy will be enough.

jenn2132

This isn't even a topic at my house but I have a friend who's pregnant as well and she received a diamond rose gold ring after she had her first and is expecting something after this baby as well. It baffles me because I wouldn't think to ask for something but to each their own

J1D

I had never heard of push presents either. But I was so sick first trimester I would tell my husband he owed me big time and I wanted some really nice jewelry for giving him a baby. Obviously I was playing around considering we both wanted this baby and tried hard to conceive him, but knowing my husband he'll probably get me a little something just because he likes to give me gifts. When I found out about "push presents" I thought they were ridiculous! As in ridiculous as a trend or expectation. I think it's totally fine and fun and appreciated to get a gift if you're the type to normally exchange gifts but I don't like the trendy expectation aspect of push presents being a named thing/ "requirement."

Each to their own though I'll be happy if my hubby gets me a gift and I'm actually pretty sure I am getting something, hints have been dropped by my husband but I wouldn't ask for anything specific like one might for a Christmas or birthday present. Just seems a little weird to me. Not bad, just a bit like overkill I guess.

christina4436

We don't do gifts for much bc our money is exactly that 'our' money. So when we want something we typically just talk about it and get it. Was thinking more ideas if you wanted it have some meaning or something u could have multiple of for each kid..

J1D

I grew up really poor and had poor relations so I was always envious of friends who received sweet sixteen gifts and the like. Something that I think would be fun if you can afford it would be a nice piece of hand me down jewelry that you wear and enjoy but ultimately will go to the child. Easier I guess if you are having a girl but could be cool too for a boy as a ring he gets when he finds the woman he is going to marry so he has a special family gift to give her.
Just something I thought could be cool and meaningful

J1D

A beautiful high quality photo frame or one of those digital ones that you can load with lots of pictures could be cool too. One for each child so you can have a nice display of pictures of your children. Perhaps a custom one with their name and date of birth.

Cupcakesandquilts

I'm not expecting a push present this time either. I think it's kind of ridiculous that people want a gift or a party for every little life event. I seriously side eye the push present thing.

casserole27

Never heard of this. I'm gonna have to Google it but I am guessing it's a present for mom before/after the birth? Interesting. I figured the baby would be reward enough.

gograce

I'm planning on getting my husband a little gift for the hospital, but I do not expect anything in return. To be perfectly honest, I'm so excited about baby thing. All the baby goodies are like gifts to me. I bought a car seat canopy and a nursing pillow today...you'd think I bought myself something fancy for me with how excited I am.
I'm sure my parents and/or my in-laws will bring a little something for me. A night dress or body wash. Something small to let me know they're thinking about me. But I don't think I'd be comfortable with my husband buying me anything expensive.

Edit: needed more words!

RainbowMama7

I have an origami owl necklace and for my present I want to add my new additions birthstone. With charms being $5 it's nothing crazy, but means a lot!

Sweet Sadie Mae

Didn't do this with my first. My reward are my kids. Best gift ever. My husband did joke that he's getting me a ring with baby boys name on it to match the ring I have with my daughter's name but we both think push presents are not really necessary. Ill probably get the ring for Christmas though.

Carmofrap

I didn't get or need one after my son. I hadn't even heard it was a thing. That said after watching me labor for so long my husband would have gotten me anything I asked for when it was all over. I just couldn't thiink of anything more I wanted than my husband and my new little son. But I also don't care for jewelry and never wear it, so the usual push presents wouldn't be very appreciated anyway. My husband just took such wonderful care of me during and for the two weeks he was home after, that that was all I could have ever asked for.

smlowe9311

RainbowMama7 said:

I have an origami owl necklace and for my present I want to add my new additions birthstone. With charms being $5 it's nothing crazy, but means a lot!

This would be something I would want but dh isn't the type to think of something like that. I don't expect one and won't be disappointed about it either. He did go out and get me a cold publix sub and a Pepsi for dinner after dd1 was born! Haha

batmom05

I told my husband that if he bought me a push present, I wouldn't speak to him! Something about it makes birth feel like a transaction and takes the sentiment out of it to me!

We are in the process of looking for a house, so short of a nice juicy burger is probably be upset if he spent the money on me instead of saving it.

kaya1111

My MIL told him he needed to get me one. Awkward. But I agree with some of the above posts and might ask for food! A beer and some unpasteurized cheeses...I miss them in the worst way!

J1D

batmom05 said:

I told my husband that if he bought me a push present, I wouldn't speak to him! Something about it makes birth feel like a transaction and takes the sentiment out of it to me!

We are in the process of looking for a house, so short of a nice juicy burger is probably be upset if he spent the money on me instead of saving it.

I think a nice juicy burger would be an awesome job well done gift!

katanasai

My SO and I are tight on money, so every baby item feels like a gift. However, when baby is born, the best possible gift will be him taking care of house stuff so I can focus on baby and recovery!

millereliz13

I personally think that the idea of a present for pushing out a baby is unnecessary. But, to each his own.

jefinley1

@batmom05 I think you nailed it for me. I'd never heard of this and something about it was just not sitting right. Transaction is exactly the way to put it. I'm the same way about big presents. We keep it to books for me and records for him, and normally we end up just picking them out together. But if he got me a big present just for doing something that was biologically inevitable, all I would see would be the overtime hours he racked up while having to be away from home that we could have used to have him stay with me and baby longer. I generally don't get huffy over stuff like this as I would never want to make anyone feel bad for simply doing things differently than me or having different priorities, but I guess this one hit what my mom calls a "squishy spot." Haha. Not that I'm some money pinching saint. I definitely want a giant glass of good red wine, unpasteurized imported French cheese, and what I may be missing most: pâté de foie gras on baguette.

CEB37

It's such a nauseating term. I also don't like that it seems to imply that people who don't "push" don't deserve a gift. I think it's gross for anyone to expect or demand or even ask for something specific. You're getting a baby. That's kind of an amazing gift.

I didn't know at the time, but it is a tradition in both of our families that the dads usually give the moms a small piece of jewelry to commemorate each birth. It was an amazing surprise and not something I ever would have expected or demanded of my H.

saintpaulJess

MelMel92 said:

I'm getting one! My reward for pushing my baby out will be a gorgeous little girl that I'll love to bits. 

This.  Except mine will be a beautiful baby boy.

LiveNLove44

I don't appreciate the term nor do I appreciate how some women view it. I guess I think it makes the whole experience seem cheap (?) or something. I also hate when people say, "The baby is gift enough" as though women who go through birth don't get that. No sh!t the baby is enough. We are all going through this, and everyone is going to have a different style and experience. Is it a tradition in some families for a father to give the new mother a gift after the birth of a child? Yep. Do some people not do that? Yep. I don't understand why people get so worked up about it. This always seems to draw out lurkers, too.

christina4436

gograce said:

I'm planning on getting my husband a little gift for the hospital, but I do not expect anything in return. To be perfectly honest, I'm so excited about baby thing. All the baby goodies are like gifts to me. I bought a car seat canopy and a nursing pillow today...you'd think I bought myself something fancy for me with how excited I am.
I'm sure my parents and/or my in-laws will bring a little something for me. A night dress or body wash. Something small to let me know they're thinking about me. But I don't think I'd be comfortable with my husband buying me anything expensive.

Edit: needed more words!

That is too funny I ordered those same two exact things online today with those coupons!!!

CaitLewis15

'Push present' sounds a little paternalistic to me. I'll pass.

I will, however, say YASSS to my husband taking me to a sushi and saki dinner as soon as I can pump and dump

aah1013

J1D said:

I grew up really poor and had poor relations so I was always envious of friends who received sweet sixteen gifts and the like. Something that I think would be fun if you can afford it would be a nice piece of hand me down jewelry that you wear and enjoy but ultimately will go to the child. Easier I guess if you are having a girl but could be cool too for a boy as a ring he gets when he finds the woman he is going to marry so he has a special family gift to give her.
Just something I thought could be cool and meaningful

We didn't do push presents, but for my first Mother's Day my husband gave me a beautiful ring. It is channeled diamonds and rubys (mine and my daughter's birthstones) and will be given to my daughter one day. I love gifts with meaning like that! I wear it often and my daughter loves to point out her birthstone. Hopefully he remembers he needs to do something like that for this baby eventually, too!

christina4436

CEB37 said:

It's such a nauseating term. I also don't like that it seems to imply that people who don't "push" don't deserve a gift. I think it's gross for anyone to expect or demand or even ask for something specific. You're getting a baby. That's kind of an amazing gift.

I didn't know at the time, but it is a tradition in both of our families that the dads usually give the moms a small piece of jewelry to commemorate each birth. It was an amazing surprise and not something I ever would have expected or demanded of my H.

I'm almost thinking of it as 'the last time you get something nice for yourself since everything will now go towards kids' type deal. Push present is obviously just the common name people give it. Heck hubby could get something too if he wanted. If you work hard and are not tight on money/save a lot I don't see anything wrong with getting something nice for yourself. Just looking for ideas of something nice and sentimental as well...

VioletandRose

batmom05 said:

I told my husband that if he bought me a push present, I wouldn't speak to him! Something about it makes birth feel like a transaction and takes the sentiment out of it to me!

Totally agree with this. I already told my guy, no push presents. I have a friend who got a pair of Louboutins for her push present. Posted it on FB and everything. Really? That would make me feel so cheap, like I am being paid for my "service" of pushing out his kid.

rms924

LiveNLove44 said:

I don't appreciate the term nor do I appreciate how some women view it. I guess I think it makes the whole experience seem cheap (?) or something.

I also hate when people say, "The baby is gift enough" as though women who go through birth don't get that. No sh!t the baby is enough. We are all going through this, and everyone is going to have a different style and experience. Is it a tradition in some families for a father to give the new mother a gift after the birth of a child? Yep. Do some people not do that? Yep. I don't understand why people get so worked up about it. This always seems to draw out lurkers, too.

This. I agree 100%. Of course baby is gift enough. But just want to mention that not only can this be a tradition in families but in whole cultures. Where my family comes from (Middle East), it's actually more of a widespread tradition. Meanwhile the idea of a registry is considered to be extremely rude. Cultures vary and to judge seems silly. To each their own, I say!

Personally, we share our money but I still give my husband gifts and he gives me gifts. It doesn't really matter. The act of gift giving is an important ceremony for us that said, right now, I can't think of something meaningful enough, so I don't really want anything besides the safe arrival of a healthy little boy! And diet coke. And a bagel with cream cheese and lox!

J1D

aah1013 said:

J1D said:

I grew up really poor and had poor relations so I was always envious of friends who received sweet sixteen gifts and the like. Something that I think would be fun if you can afford it would be a nice piece of hand me down jewelry that you wear and enjoy but ultimately will go to the child. Easier I guess if you are having a girl but could be cool too for a boy as a ring he gets when he finds the woman he is going to marry so he has a special family gift to give her.
Just something I thought could be cool and meaningful

We didn't do push presents, but for my first Mother's Day my husband gave me a beautiful ring. It is channeled diamonds and rubys (mine and my daughter's birthstones) and will be given to my daughter one day. I love gifts with meaning like that! I wear it often and my daughter loves to point out her birthstone. Hopefully he remembers he needs to do something like that for this baby eventually, too!

See! This! Totally how I picture the idea. Son or daughter growing up seeing mom wear a special piece of jewelry and knowing someday it would be theirs Daughter being able to borrow it for special occasions growing up (son too if he's into wearing jewelry). Just a fun bonding thing, something to hopefully be a happy reminder of their mom.

alinic916

@batmom05 agree 100% I would never ask or expect to receive a push present and think they are ridiculous. My husband would never think to get me one and that's how I like it. Taking home our little girl will be the best present we could ever get!

jefinley1

@LiveNLove44 and @rms924 This is a good perspective for me. I have no problem with gifts, in fact I absolutely love giving them. Different people express their love in different ways and for me, giving has always been one of my key ones. I love the how you talk about the ritual, ceremony, and tradition of it. I guess what hit me the wrong way was the sense that it was something someone would feel entitled to, or that a particular gift would be expected well in advance. I always feel that the most meaningful part of the gift is the unsolicited and loving intent of the giver. And I'm always of the opinion that that intent should never cease or be put on hold because everything goes to kids after birth. I don't want an 18 year pay out for being good pusher, then it's over until the kids leave! I think the tone just threw me, and it's probably because of my own hang ups. Haha.

laurengrieco

Cupcakesandquilts said:

I'm not expecting a push present this time either. I think it's kind of ridiculous that people want a gift or a party for every little life event. I seriously side eye the push present thing.

Agreed.. To me, concept is ridiculous. You get the best 'present', your baby! I wouldn't expect my loving husband to do this, nor do I think it's necessary. It kind of makes me cringe.

Jdelli27

After my first daughter I asked for a ring with her birthstone. I wear it everyday. I consider it my "push present". When she gets older I plan on giving her the ring since it's her birthstone. For this one which is another girl I'm going to do the same thing. The first ring I have is quite simple and stackable so I can easily wear her new sister's ring with it. I joked about getting a Gucci, Fendi,LV bag but when it came down to it I just wanted something little to remind me of my daughter when we aren't together.

tate62610

I think little gifts are great if you're husband wants to do that. It's sweet. It just shouldn't be expected. My gift from my husband was being waited on for 3 days and not once rolling his eyes. He was even my lookout when I was stealing an apple juice from the fridge lol "caw-caaww" was our code for "someone's coming!" I craved apple juice like no other after delivery. Nurse totally busted me but stole me another one.

LLynde5

Just my opinion but I don't think any women who receives a present thinks that gift is better than their baby or feels cheaper for receiving it. I would never stop my husband for doing something nice for me or anyone else for that matter.

doe2813

When my SO and I first started dating he bought me my first Harvey's Seatbelt purse, and almost every year he has added to my collection. After I found out I was pregnant I told him I wanted a Seatbelt bag to use as a diaper bag. I think he will give it to me at the baby shower so I don't consider it a push present.

komorebi

Yeah, no.

It seems juvenile to me. Me and my SO are expanding our family together. I'm getting the baby here but he seriously goes through so much supporting me through it. I can't even imagine asking for anything other than food and a kiss once it's all done. But we're not a gift focused family.