I already told my husband that I do not want a push present. I am not completely against the idea of a father giving a mother a gift after the birth of their child, it's just not my thing. I don't like the idea of someone asking their husband for a gift for having a baby. Not saying anyone in this thread is doing that but I have seen it before and I think it is just a sad situation.
Now I have told my husband that a while after baby is born and I am back to feeling like myself again, I want to take a day trip. I would much rather ask for memories than presents.
@Sbrouwer0706 that has been our thing lately. Especially as my oldest gets older and into the asking for crazy expensive gifts phase. I'd rather save and do something special together. My nesting has made me aware of how much useless stuff these kids acquire and it's frustrating.
I'm planning on getting my husband a little gift for the hospital, but I do not expect anything in return. To be perfectly honest, I'm so excited about baby thing. All the baby goodies are like gifts to me. I bought a car seat canopy and a nursing pillow today...you'd think I bought myself something fancy for me with how excited I am. I'm sure my parents and/or my in-laws will bring a little something for me. A night dress or body wash. Something small to let me know they're thinking about me. But I don't think I'd be comfortable with my husband buying me anything expensive.
Edit: needed more words!
That is too funny I ordered those same two exact things online today with those coupons!!!
I actually bought three of each. Lol. I have a cousin who is also due in October and DH has a cousin due in Septemeber. I got us each one. After shipping, I paid the price of one for three on each. It was magical!
I think little gifts are great if you're husband wants to do that. It's sweet. It just shouldn't be expected. My gift from my husband was being waited on for 3 days and not once rolling his eyes. He was even my lookout when I was stealing an apple juice from the fridge lol "caw-caaww" was our code for "someone's coming!" I craved apple juice like no other after delivery. Nurse totally busted me but stole me another one.
^^This. DH surprised me after LO #1 with a picture frame and a mom mug for my morning coffee. It was perfect and very thoughtful. I think asking for a push present is bratty, but I did tell DH that I would like another picture frame for this LO. :x
I'm getting one! My reward for pushing my baby out will be a gorgeous little girl that I'll love to bits.
This. Except mine will be a beautiful baby boy.
This exactly! In time we may get another birthstone to put in my necklace, but both my boys are October babies so it would be the same stone. And the Belhaven was something my brother and sister in law got me for Christmas. I would never demand a gift from my husband for having our baby. He helps and supports me in every way especially during pregnancy and that is gift enough for me!
I was hovering around another pregnancy forum while I was pregnant with DS and saw one girl post that she told her husband to get her a Lexus for her push present.
To each their own but personally, I kinda find the idea a bit silly. I think the present you get on a day like that is hopefully a healthy baby. That is the greatest gift ever.
I was hovering around another pregnancy forum while I was pregnant with DS and saw one girl post that she told her husband to get her a Lexus for her push present.
I was hovering around another pregnancy forum while I was pregnant with DS and saw one girl post that she told her husband to get her a Lexus for her push present.
And he agreed.
Wut.
Lol she sounds like a liar
Probably, but just based on the tone of her post, she definitely thought she deserved it. There was no lying there!
Our tradition is moms coming over and cleaning, taking the littles out for me and family bringing food. But even that i would never ask for. If somebody gave me a gift is be honored, like any other time. I think it's the name and expectation that bother me. I don't even think of the baby as a gift for myself as much as a blessing for the entire family. I never feel more special than those first meetings and seeing everybody gush over this new person. It's such an everyday miracle.
I told MH about it at the time, I said he needed to start working more overtime if he wanted to compete. Ha! He was like yeah, no. The sense of entitlement in some people is just astounding. Cute small gift from your SO after baby is born, that wasn't requested? No problem. Asking for some elaborate gift that could probably start a nice college fund for your baby? Nope nope nope.
My girls were born around our wedding anniversary each time, so dh got me something with a little extra meaning for each of those anniversaries which I plan on giving the girls when they are 16 (they are different pendants - one has 2 hearts and the other is a tiny diamond) so they will have them. It's our 10th anniversary a few weeks after ds is born so... I think dh has a plan for that anniversary, but whatever we do it's moot - he's a great husband and wonderful dad and they are the things that matter most... but... I do like the bling as well
Also, and maybe this is just me, but how are cars, etc., presents? Isn't it your money too? The Lexus didn't magically appear. It came out of money DH and/or you earned. Money that didn't go to something else (savings, vacation, new house, whatever).
I'm not saying she shouldn't get a Lexus, but I am wondering at the odd disconnect with her finances. Cars aren't gifts when you're married. You paid for it one way or the other
I was hovering around another pregnancy forum while I was pregnant with DS and saw one girl post that she told her husband to get her a Lexus for her push present.
And he agreed.
Wut.
ummmm - I have no words! (and that's not my norm!) :-S
I think its a cute idea. I agree that it should be a personal gift. I think I'm going to get a "mothers" neclace There is a site called 3 sisters jewelry (i think) i posted it on the fb page. Anyways they have really cute necklaces that are hand stamped. I could get different charms stamped with the date and babys name.
@CaitLewis15 at least one of my friends keeps her finances separate from her husband, like they have mine, yours, and ours accounts. I thought this couldn't possibly continue once she had a baby and stopped working, but nope, still happening. I wanted to ask her WTF??? but didn't want to get into it. Apparently she is just eating up her own savings account to pay for "extras" like yoga classes. She actually did get a push present, a really nice cappuccino maker, which I imagine was paid for out of her husband's account. I guess. I don't really get it.
We keep slight amounts of money to Ourselves, but not enough to think twice about. He Plays pool, i go have a girls lunch every now and then or shop without sideeye. If he sprung a car on me I'd be a little mad unless he hit the lotto, like yesterday.
I haven't ever heard of push presents and I doubt my partner would ever think to get me a present after our little boy's born, neither do I expect/want him to. My mum said that after she had me everyone came to the hospital with lots of presents for me and one of her friends came with a hamper for her, her fav foods and a voucher for a beauty salon so that she could get a nice treatment when she felt up to it. Mum said it was so thoughtful and unexpected and she really appreciated it. I reckon my mum will probably do something like that for me but it's not expected at all. I tend to think of others more than myself and am looking into little presents to give the grandmothers when they visit (both grand fathers are no longer with us) and I will probably get them a pandora charm each with the babies birth stone or the sweet little pram one just to say thank you for their support through pregnancy and congratulations on becoming grand mummy's!
Same here, i love giving little thoughtful gifts. My mom does so much for me, and it's just little things, but man does it add up. My mil is totally always gushing about my kids and her other gk, so i usually do picture gifts for her office. My kids feel like celebrities when they visit either of them.
My sister got a band for her right hand with my niece's birthstone. Very pretty and delicate. But unnecessary. I mentioned I want a "mom" charm for the bracelet my mom gave me for Christmas, and I'm sure that I'll get it then, not at delivery.
He did say he is taking me out for a surf and turf dinner once I feel like it, since I miss those things most. I'd consider that a present for both of us!
I would so not expect a push present. I've never even heard of that. Same with taking a baby moon! We're trying to save some money here people!!!
Same feeling as giving each other a present on your wedding day. Like we didn't spend enough on rings and the wedding itself we now have to buy each other something? NO!
Since someone broached the subject- I blame Pinterest!!! Baby moons, push presents, gender reveals... All this awesome picture perfect crap that I swear was made up for the sole purpose of photo ops for social media! Don't get me wrong- I like most of these fabulous new made up "traditions" or I would if I had more free time, energy and money, but sometimes they just make me feel bad like I'm not doing everything I'm "supposed to." Sorry to digress from the original topic of the thread. Just something I've been thinking about. I've actually started asking myself- "do I want to do ________ because I actually want to do it or do I feel like I should just because everyone on Facebook/Pinterest did?"
@CaitLewis15 at least one of my friends keeps her finances separate from her husband, like they have mine, yours, and ours accounts. I thought this couldn't possibly continue once she had a baby and stopped working, but nope, still happening. I wanted to ask her WTF??? but didn't want to get into it. Apparently she is just eating up her own savings account to pay for "extras" like yoga classes. She actually did get a push present, a really nice cappuccino maker, which I imagine was paid for out of her husband's account. I guess. I don't really get it.
My husband and I also keep separate accounts, just mine and his, no ours. We split bills and certain purchases, but everything else is separate. It's what works for us. But still, the thought of a "push present" makes me gag.
Same feeling as giving each other a present on your wedding day. Like we didn't spend enough on rings and the wedding itself we now have to buy each other something? NO!
Yea this is one I never understood. It seemed liked the thousands we spent on the wedding and honeymoon were enough. But I am person who would rather not receive presents on any occasion so maybe that is just me.
I would eventually like some piece of jewelry with the birthstones of all my children. My mom has a necklace like this and to me it is something that is really meaningful. But that will obviously have to wait until we are done having kids. My push present is going to be one or three mimosas. Can't wait!!
@J1D I was going to say the same thing! Damn Pinterest... can't I just text my family my baby's sex?
Seriously though! Why people gots to go and complicate every darn thing? I'm tired! I'm making a tiny human- from scratch! I don't have the energy to hand craft a piñata filled with gender specific trinkets and host an elaborate fête with finger foods that relate to baby items and our combined cultural heritages. (I sure wish I could afford to pay someone to make it happen though cause I think it'd be fun... Just saying...) But seriously, cut a tired momma to be some slack!
I mean, I really hate when people coin these phrases. I don't know why, but the phrase "push present" just rubs me wrong. It's sad that all these gifts we give each other how now been labeled. I feel like it devalues it. It makes it sound like it was expected.
My push present can be a beer, and I'll be fabulously happy.
I actually dreamt about beer last night...an ice cold, bubbly, hoppy IPA. The glass was frosty. It was so close, but yet so far away.
Since someone broached the subject- I blame Pinterest!!! Baby moons, push presents, gender reveals... All this awesome picture perfect crap that I swear was made up for the sole purpose of photo ops for social media! Don't get me wrong- I like most of these fabulous new made up "traditions" or I would if I had more free time, energy and money, but sometimes they just make me feel bad like I'm not doing everything I'm "supposed to." Sorry to digress from the original topic of the thread. Just something I've been thinking about. I've actually started asking myself- "do I want to do ________ because I actually want to do it or do I feel like I should just because everyone on Facebook/Pinterest did?"
Yes! I've had people accuse me of being a perfect mom(in a very backhanded compliment way) and I'm not afraid to be like, no. I show you my good side only on my social media. I do crafts and go to the park and take cute pictures and don't put my kids terror sides on blast because why. But don't get it twisted. We are messy and crazy and totally not picture worthy most of the time. I have been avoiding pinterest.
I've never heard of this before! I text my boyfriend saying he should google it with a ps. saying I really don't want one but a nice quiet dinner a month after baby is born just him and I and a beer would be greatly appreciated and very much needed! haha All of you ladies getting one, enjoy it! It's a cute gesture!
I would love to get one but I kind of think it's a silly tradition (maybe because I didn't get one with DD and am being defensive). Would be nice though. I'm not expecting anything.
lol i am with some of you- already asked my husband to go out after the baby is born and get me a giant sub with deli turkey from the best deli in town... and when i get home i am having a beer!! those would be amazing presents. don't expect or really want a push present as money is tight for us. but to each their own-- my BIL got my sis a beautiful necklace with three small diamonds representing that there are now 3 in their family.
Wow so many negative comments about push presents. I guess everyone's situation is different. I did get push gifts with my first two (a diamond band for the 1st and a Gift certificate for laser hair removal for the second... Ha! I always wanted it) I know for this child (due in oct) he bought me a purse. It's sitting in a box high in our garage that I can't reach
Re: Push presents
I have a cousin who is also due in October and DH has a cousin due in Septemeber. I got us each one. After shipping, I paid the price of one for three on each. It was magical!
:x
This exactly! In time we may get another birthstone to put in my necklace, but both my boys are October babies so it would be the same stone. And the Belhaven was something my brother and sister in law got me for Christmas. I would never demand a gift from my husband for having our baby. He helps and supports me in every way especially during pregnancy and that is gift enough for me!
My push present is once I'm done pushing I get to see my handsome little man
I'm not saying she shouldn't get a Lexus, but I am wondering at the odd disconnect with her finances. Cars aren't gifts when you're married. You paid for it one way or the other
ummmm - I have no words! (and that's not my norm!) :-S
There is a site called 3 sisters jewelry (i think) i posted it on the fb page. Anyways they have really cute necklaces that are hand stamped. I could get different charms stamped with the date and babys name.
I mentioned I want a "mom" charm for the bracelet my mom gave me for Christmas, and I'm sure that I'll get it then, not at delivery.
He did say he is taking me out for a surf and turf dinner once I feel like it, since I miss those things most. I'd consider that a present for both of us!
Sorry to digress from the original topic of the thread. Just something I've been thinking about.
I've actually started asking myself- "do I want to do ________ because I actually want to do it or do I feel like I should just because everyone on Facebook/Pinterest did?"
Edit: words are hard
I am going to surprise him with an engraved bible with a family tree.