So, my first is about 19 months old and is a boy. We are now expecting twin girls at the end of the summer. My aunt really wants to throw me a shower because she says these could be the only twins in the family ever, plus we don't have any girl things. I really appreciate it as pretty much everything we have is boy (although I do plan on still using hand-me-downs as much as possible). Is it tacky for me to do a registry for this shower? I figure since we are having twins things are going to be a lot different this time around, but we do already have a lot from our first. What do you think? Is it tacky to have a registry? Any tips on what to avoid that you have thought wasn't classy? The only thing I especially want on the registry, but that I don't expect anyone to get for us is the second infant carseat. That way I can use the registry coupon they send in the mail to buy it.
Thanks for your input!
Re: 2nd Pregnancy - TWINS! Should I make a registry?
A registry is a stand alone item that actually has nothing to do w/ a shower. If you want to register, then do so.
As far as a shower goes- I'm largely on the side of "for first children only", and a different sex? Not a reason at all. Blue stuff can be used on girls, pink stuff on boys. Not the end of the world.
BUT I will say that if someone I was close to found out they were having twins, I would gladly come to a shower for that. Twins is a different ball game and I would genuinely want to help. BUT, again, I stress "someone I was close to". I do agree - keep the shower small and to immediate family and CLOSE friends only. This is not a time to invite everyone you know.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
Girls can wear boy clothes, it's not the end of the world. A shower is beyond tacky for a second child, and have twins of a different sex doesn't make it ok.
There are so many things wrong with this post. it is an etiquette nightmare.
First of all, it is wrong to say "no gifts" on an invitation of any kind. if someone wants to get you a gift, discouraging that is considered rude. Graciously accept the generosity of others.
It's called a "shower" because the purpose of it is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. If you don't want to have a gift-giving event, just have a regular get together. Like a barbecue or something.
A baby shower's purpose is to honor the MOTHER and welcome her into motherhood. It is NOT about the child. How can you have a guest of honor who isn't actually in attendance at the party? If you want to honor the baby, have a sip-and-see in its honor after it is born.
It really irks me that people think that just because they're pregnant, everyone in the world should want to celebrate their wonderful achievement. You know that a vast majority of women worldwide have accomplished this great feat, correct? Some of them multiple times? it's not something that needs to be celebrated over and over and over.
Baby showers are a lovely gift from a host to welcome a NEW mother to motherhood. After you've already been a mother, you don't get to have another shower for any reason (twins, different sex, large age difference, etc). The ONLY exception is if the father is a first time dad - and even in that case, the only people that should be invited are the father's family and friends - no one that was at the mother's previous shower should be invited to a subsequent one. If you want to celebrate the baby, have a party after it is born. If you want to celebrate yourself...too bad, you already did that. If you want other people to buy you the things you need to raise your child...you should have thought of that before you got pregnant, and budgeted accordingly to buy it all yourself.
As i said earlier, if this is the norm in OP's family, and her aunt insists on it, i see nothing wrong with taking her up on a VERY SMALL event involving only VERY CLOSE family. But having a large shower for a subsequent baby (or babies) is unreasonable, and starkly against etiquette.
I hope a different perspective helped you out jksears just know that people will be happy to celebrate your new babies whichever way makes you most comfortable!
Etiquette isn't an opinion. Here is what Miss Manners has to say about Subsequent Showers:
Subsequent Baby Showers
Miss Manners doesn't recommend that a pregnant woman have a baby shower if she is welcoming any other child other than her first. The purpose of baby showers is to equip the guest of honor with all the items she needs to care for her first baby; once the woman is having a second or third child, it's in better taste for her to have a small, informal gathering if her close friends and loved ones insist on having a celebration for her. Setting up a gift registry for a shower that isn't for the guest of honor's first child is bad manners, and gives the impression that the honoree is begging for gifts.
Now, i don't necessarily agree about the registry - because having a registry will get you coupons to buy things for yourself. But i would agree that adding the registry info to an invitation to any event for a subsequent child is in poor taste. If someone asks you if you have one, tell them about it, but i wouldn't advertise it. Other than the registry thing, this is basically exactly what i said earlier.
And I can top that
I had a 16 mo DD when the triplet boys were born. Sprinkles or 2nd registries are greedy
Ps registry coupons are generally 10 or 15%. Store coupons are 20 or 25%
No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college. Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole. IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age. On to IVF. Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11. Froze due to overstimulation.
FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN. FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).
Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer. Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.
ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET 7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1 9.10.14 TRIPLETS!!
Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d. Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".