New Moms - Weekly June 6-13 Updates, Issues, Accomplishments
btm013
member
Hi new Moms! Here is you thread to vent your frustrations and brag about your accomplishments for the week. We are all in the same boat right now - sleep deprived, nipples cracked, confused, etc. Let's support each other. We will get through it together 
My frustration today is my husband. I find myself wanting to correct the way he does things. It's what all the books/classes tells you NOT to do haha. I am by no means an expert but being with the baby all day I'm picking up on his cues. For instance, my husband doesn't burp the baby that much during feedings which leaves him gassy and cranky. Or if he does, he lightly taps his back. Then he goes off to work (or back to bed) and I'm dealing with a fussy gussy. I want to scream "tap the baby's back a little harder to move that gas!!"
It's evident my husband doesn't do well with lack of sleep but if I'm pumping in the middle of the night and the baby needs a bottle he can barely function in getting it or changing his diaper. Typically we have it timed where that doesn't happen but baby seems to be more hungry at night. Anyway, I'm convinced my husband fell asleep standing up at one point. GET IT TOGETHER!! I'm sleep deprived too!! He also gets frustrated when he's squirming or fussy during a diaper change. Or if he changes him and then 5 minutes later he starts pooping again. IT'S A BABY!! That's what they do!! It's not going to get better for awhile.
This morning when he was feeding the baby, I tried to work into conversation the things I noticed while being at home with baby. He knew what I was doing but kept his mouth shut haha. We'll see what the day brings.
Re: New Moms - Weekly June 6-13 Updates, Issues, Accomplishments
I had a breakdown yesterday because the breastfeeding struggle is REAL. Is she pooping or urinating enough? Is this amount of spit up normal? Latching issues, etc. We're hitting our stride but it's exhausting.
After a crazy scare on Thursday we found out LO has some reflux issues. We thought she stopped breathing & was choking on milk & I damn near had a meltdown. All turned out well and has been fine since but needless to say I stare at her after every feeding and am exhausted.
We can do this ladies, it'll get better!
@btm013
You're not alone in the DH dept. I think mine has forgotten our plan to take turns during the night. He's now sleeping through everything and occasionally gets up to go grab more diapers or something for me. *sigh*
I've been pumping but it's so hard to find the time plus it kills my back - does anyone have a suggestion on how to pump when the stupid pumps don't face downward but at that stupid angle? I feel like I have to sit hunched over to get the milk to go into the bottle and not back towards by breast.
I also have a large hemorrhoid which makes it impossible to sit, which is what I need to do to feed and pump. I'm miserable and the creams and pain meds are not cutting it. I feel like I can't even take care of this baby. Thank god for DH.
Is there a specific day most people "turn the corner"? I'm on day 6 and it's starting to wear me down.
My update for today is a breastfeeding success story! I've been exclusively pumping for my twins to monitor how much they're eating and supplementing my milk with formula to get them extra calories. After two separate feedings today both girls were both still hungry so I tried to get them to latch and both girls did no problem! I'm optimistic that once I can stop supplementing we can just breastfeed and hopefully I don't have to pump so often. Pumping is exhausting!
Also try a hemorrhoid donut pillow. They are the blow up kind usually. It takes the pressure off the "hole" and hopefully can offer some relief.
As for a specific day it all turns around, it varies. Based on baby, your milk supply, sleeping patterns etc. Maybe let DH sleep more at night so you can nap durning the day while he takes a shift, or vice versa. Sleep deprivation sucks and be careful bc it can lead to the baby blues. Obviously nothing to be ashamed of, but mom guilt, lack of sleep, hormones, dashed expectations, and feeding challenges are what led me down the path of PPD. Do your best to take it one day at a time and realize you are doing a great job! There are going to be challenges along the way, but in a couple of months when you really have this down to second nature and baby sleeps for longer periods of time you will forget all about this. Hugs ❤️!
Like pp mentioned get a hands free bra. Makes a world of difference. The brand I get is Rumina. They have some tank tops and bras that work for both nursing and pumping. There's also some angled flanges from called Pumpin Pals that are supposed to be more comfortable. It didn't work out for me but it does have great reviews and some people swear by them. For hemorrhoids I used witch hazel and a spray and bottom balm from Earth Mama Angel Baby. You could get all these things from Amazon.
I know it's easier said than done but getting some sleep helps a ton. I'm sure at this point though sleep is more like mini naps throughout the day. Just make sure you take some time to take care of yourself. You'll turn that corner before you know it!!!
On Friday it had been four or five days of screaming every time I tried to feed DS. Every two hours it was an hour and a half of screaming before he ate and got back to sleep. I finally called the lactation consultants and they said it would be ok to pump and feed him from the bottle. Problem is mostly gone now- I guess he just couldn't get it fast enough the breast.
Anyway, I am so freaking tired and it makes my fibro pain so much worse. DH insists that I just need to recover from pregnancy, and the week of no sleep (couldn't sleep at the hospital either), but the guilt is tough. I'm so freaking lucky.
I know, I know. Woe is me. I made my bed, and I'm lying in it. :-<
@kkdb14 I can only imagine how you feel being only 18. It's tough enough for me & I'm 33! Hang in there.
You sound like you're on top of things! I was 19 when I had my first and it was tough! I felt lost and alone and developed PPD but refused to seek help. Don't forget to reach out and call friends and family to come give you support. I wish I would've been more vocal about what I needed and I would've had a much better experience! I'm 28 now and this time around is still tough, but I have a much better support system to lean on. Keep it up Momma, you're doing a great job with your LO!
Latching is tougher with engorgement so we're working on that until my body regulates the proper amount of milk. Scabby nipples are still an issue but we're working on it..LO has given me three nights in a row of 2.5 hour stretches in between feedings and as if I didn't love her enough, that makes me so happy. It won't last but it's nice now!
DH left for about an hour yesterday to go to the laundromat - my first time alone with baby. She behaved herself, but I spent the whole time wishing DH would walk back in the door so I'd have some help. I'm dreading when he goes back to work next week. I'm really only going to have one day by myself (Wednesday) because his mom and sister are coming out to help, and then my mom is coming right after that, but sooner or later I'm going to be a SAHM all day every day by myself. It's what I've always wanted but right now the thought is really scary!
Our first few nights and days are going great! She's breast feeding so good and mostly just sleeping. She barely cries, only when we change her or she's super hungry and can't get to the boob quick enough. We are really lucky so far that she's been so easy. Hoping it stays this way lol
DS loves his bath! We've had two sponge baths and one in the baby tub after his cord fell off. He is bright eyed and loves the massage except for his arms. But he never likes his arms messed with. His favorite part is after the bath when I wash his (long!!!) hair under the faucet. He looks like he's in heaven!
I'm going to a breastfeeding support group this afternoon And I'm pretty sure I'm giddy with excitement. I need help!
I think DH and I finally are figuring out the shift thing: he took 2, I took 2 and we each managed to get like 5/6 hours of sleep each.
Thanks for advice on pumping bra - I do have one and it's amazing but gravity still working against me. Will try more pillows.
I also tried a nipple shield and for the first time LO are directly from my left breast! Not for long, but it made me feel so much better about everything.
Two crying jags in the last day (irrational): feeling like a bad mom when MIL came to visit since I spent the whole time taking a bath and letting her hold her. Obviously silly to feel that way.
Second was when I mentioned that maybe we take our monthly growth photo next to our cat for size comparison - and then started to cry when I realized there will be a day when the cat won't be in the photo. Waterworks for my fur baby!
Lastly it's funny, DH and I thought we would not want visitors, but now each day he's like "who's coming to help today?" And if there's no one, we call someone. Funny how things change.
Hope you all have great Sundays.
Let me start a question for the group: what does your baby do that makes you laugh the most?
For me, she farts ALL the time. And it's loud and smelly. I can't help giggling even though it hurts my bottom right now
Seek out resources if there are any near by to you. I was feeling so frustrated today and now I feel like "alright kid, we got this!"
It was so nice because there were newborns and like...11 month olds so it's such a spectrum of support.
Sorry-- just so happy about that. It almost made me forget that our dog came home today and he's acting really weird. He's super curious about the baby and sniffs her belongings but gets spooked when she cries and I'm nervous something will happen out of fear (he's never had any incidents, strangers pet him and kids grab him without warning outside on his walks). Anyone care to share their experience with introducing the furry friend to the baby? I feel like I'm on edge worrying that something will happen.
I really don't have a good answer on how to address this because the literature seems to be contradicting depending on what you read and what philosophy you follow. So at this point I am taking pieces that work for my LO from the different philosophies out there. So in this case I am viewing this as part of the 4th trimester in that he is adjusting to life outside the womb and may need more cuddles in the evening.
The other day he did a little better with me holding him and dh holding her. But I think it will take time.
Today DD turned 2 weeks, and I also COMPLETELY LOST ALL OF MY MILK. Wtf. I've been pulling 8-10 oz per 30 min pump and now I'm lucky to get .5 oz in an hour. 100% out of the blue. It began in the middle of the night last night, it started as supplementing formula for the first time. First it was 80% BM, then the next feeding was 70%, then 50%, and now it's just gone. Half an ounce? Seriously? So we've been on 100% formula since 10 a.m.. It's been 14 hours since my last pump and I don't even feel engorged, whereas yesterday, within two hours I had to pump or the pain was so bad I'd tear up. I don't know what to do.
And in addition, I'm feeling really guilty about the fact that I'm kindof enjoying FF for the moment. It's really easy... I want to give BM only for as long as possible, but WOW is it way easier. I'm struggling, ladies.
Is it too early for me to be ovulating? Or maybe PP hormones dropping off? I know milk supply regulates and the extra production slows down, but it's not like I've lost extra. I flat out do not have enough to give more than 1/5 of a bottle. :-<
*also feeling a little guilty because formula feeding is SO much easier and less stressful. Gotta truck on though, formula feeding twins would be ridiculously expensive!