My husband and I are totally divided and honestly as long as it's healthy we don't care if it's a boy or girl but I'm definitely thinking girl and he thinks boy. Anyone found any wives tales or anything that correctly predicted?
You won't find out the gender for a long time. Wives tales don't work. That's why the are called "wives tales". Wait for your anatomy scan. They can tell you the sex at that time as an added bonus.
All the old wives tales were wrong with my son, even the chinese calendar and all other predictors were wrong. Every thing and every one was wrong, they all said he was a girl. Even 2 ultrasounds (20 weeks and 28 weeks) said he was going to be a girl. He sure fooled everyone!
You won't find out the gender for a long time. Wives tales don't work. That's why the are called "wives tales". Wait for your anatomy scan. They can tell you the sex at that time as an added bonus.
Let me know if anyone says anything productive! I'm very excited to find out too, and I also have a month to go until my 20 week scan. It's so exciting! Did you have a 12 week scan? There's something called the 'nub theory' that's supposed to give you a clue as to whether you have a girl or boy.
Let me know if anyone says anything productive! I'm very excited to find out too, and I also have a month to go until my 20 week scan. It's so exciting! Did you have a 12 week scan? There's something called the 'nub theory' that's supposed to give you a clue as to whether you have a girl or boy.
Also not accurate. I've know 2 women who (according to the nub theory) were "definitely" having one sex only to find out at their anatomy scans that both early assumptions were wrong and they were having the opposite. My SIL was one of those women. She had 3 boys and got so excited being told her 4th was "definitely" a girl based on nub theory. Well she has 4 awesome boys. Waiting until the anatomy scan is best in terms of accuracy.
Interesting. Mine told me they won't do them before week 18 because there is a higher likelihood they won't get the shots needed to check all the organs properly. As an aside, my doctor is part of a high risk group (luckily I am not high risk) so they have great equipment. To each their own though! All that matters is a healthy LO so if your dr can get the shots needed to confirm everything than great.
Let me know if anyone says anything productive! I'm very excited to find out too, and I also have a month to go until my 20 week scan. It's so exciting! Did you have a 12 week scan? There's something called the 'nub theory' that's supposed to give you a clue as to whether you have a girl or boy.
Also not accurate. I've know 2 women who (according to the nub theory) were "definitely" having one sex only to find out at their anatomy scans that both early assumptions were wrong and they were having the opposite. My SIL was one of those women. She had 3 boys and got so excited being told her 4th was "definitely" a girl based on nub theory. Well she has 4 awesome boys. Waiting until the anatomy scan is best in terms of accuracy.
Just throwing out there. Yes finding out the SEX of your child is exciting. But isn't knowing your baby is healthy a better excitement? Don't get me wrong when I went for my 20wk scan I was excited but I more relieved to know that baby was healthy than when she told me sex.
You can also get the blood test (Materni21 or Verifi), which checks for chromosomal defects and can determine the sex of the baby as well. That's what I did at 12 weeks.
Being excited to find out the sex of your baby doesn't mean you don't care if they are healthy, I wanted to know because I am a planner and if I could find out pink or blue I could start dreaming about the baby's room and names. I did suffer a miscarriage so I am also anxious every time I go see the doctor that they will just say everything looks perfect just how I see it
I wasn't implying that you didn't care if baby was healthy or not. I was just simply saying isn't knowing your having a healthy baby a better excitement? I understand the want to plan. Who doesn't like to plan ahead? My response was my opinion.
Something I realized I did with my first pregnancy and that I've had to consciously stop myself doing this time around is hopping to the next stage without really experiencing and reveling in the stage of pregnancy that I'm in currently. While reveling in morning sickness isn't really something many of us want to do most of us are past the first trimester yucks. Try to be content because it's so easy to wish your child's babyhood away as well as your pregnancy and it is something that can never be recaptured.
Something I realized I did with my first pregnancy and that I've had to consciously stop myself doing this time around is hopping to the next stage without really experiencing and reveling in the stage of pregnancy that I'm in currently. While reveling in morning sickness isn't really something many of us want to do most of us are past the first trimester yucks. Try to be content because it's so easy to wish your child's babyhood away as well as your pregnancy and it is something that can never be recaptured.
There you go again, with your perfect advice in such a loving, motherly way!!
I had help realizing what I was doing by a lot of the wonderful women on this board. @EllaStaxx and @Giraffesramazing (not sure if I @ that correctly) and many others on here pointed out that patience is pretty necessary and all these guessing games are silly. I thought they were being mean at first, but now I get it.
My 20 week ultrasound is in a month so fortunately I only have about a month to go but still so ready to know haha
You have a lot longer than a month until you find out the child's gender.
Thank you.
I will find out gender at 20 weeks during the anatomy scan so what do you mean I have a lot longer than a month? Also I absolutely care if my child is healthy, adding knowing the gender is just fun.
Ladies, this post was in no way intended to make people mad or irritated and I don't understand why it has done so. I care very much for this child and I am constantly wondering if it is all right and healthy as this is my first pregnancy and I have never experienced any of this before. I am an anxious person and I care more about this baby then anything I have ever cared about before. I don't understand why me being excited over knowing the gender is so terrible; there are a ton of posts on here about people wanting to know the gender and this is no different. I also am not understanding why people are saying I won't find out at 20 weeks, I can find out during the anatomy scan if I choose to. It's sad that we are all expectant mothers excited for our future child and yet people instead come and just make you feel down.
My 20 week ultrasound is in a month so fortunately I only have about a month to go but still so ready to know haha
You have a lot longer than a month until you find out the child's gender.
Thank you.
I will find out gender at 20 weeks during the anatomy scan so what do you mean I have a lot longer than a month? Also I absolutely care if my child is healthy, adding knowing the gender is just fun.
You will find out the SEX of your child. Not the gender. They are not the same.
Ladies, this post was in no way intended to make people mad or irritated and I don't understand why it has done so. I care very much for this child and I am constantly wondering if it is all right and healthy as this is my first pregnancy and I have never experienced any of this before. I am an anxious person and I care more about this baby then anything I have ever cared about before. I don't understand why me being excited over knowing the gender is so terrible; there are a ton of posts on here about people wanting to know the gender and this is no different. I also am not understanding why people are saying I won't find out at 20 weeks, I can find out during the anatomy scan if I choose to. It's sad that we are all expectant mothers excited for our future child and yet people instead come and just make you feel down.
You said it-- the are TONS of posts. Add to one of those. Don't make your own. It's board courtesy.
My 20 week ultrasound is in a month so fortunately I only have about a month to go but still so ready to know haha
You have a lot longer than a month until you find out the child's gender.
Thank you.
I will find out gender at 20 weeks during the anatomy scan so what do you mean I have a lot longer than a month?
Also I absolutely care if my child is healthy, adding knowing the gender is just fun.
You will find out the SEX of your child. Not the gender. They are not the same.
Ladies, this post was in no way intended to make people mad or irritated and I don't understand why it has done so. I care very much for this child and I am constantly wondering if it is all right and healthy as this is my first pregnancy and I have never experienced any of this before. I am an anxious person and I care more about this baby then anything I have ever cared about before. I don't understand why me being excited over knowing the gender is so terrible; there are a ton of posts on here about people wanting to know the gender and this is no different. I also am not understanding why people are saying I won't find out at 20 weeks, I can find out during the anatomy scan if I choose to. It's sad that we are all expectant mothers excited for our future child and yet people instead come and just make you feel down.
You said it-- the are TONS of posts. Add to one of those. Don't make your own. It's board courtesy.
Ladies, this post was in no way intended to make people mad or irritated and I don't understand why it has done so. I care very much for this child and I am constantly wondering if it is all right and healthy as this is my first pregnancy and I have never experienced any of this before. I am an anxious person and I care more about this baby then anything I have ever cared about before. I don't understand why me being excited over knowing the gender is so terrible; there are a ton of posts on here about people wanting to know the gender and this is no different. I also am not understanding why people are saying I won't find out at 20 weeks, I can find out during the anatomy scan if I choose to. It's sad that we are all expectant mothers excited for our future child and yet people instead come and just make you feel down.
You said it-- the are TONS of posts. Add to one of those. Don't make your own. It's board courtesy.
None of these posts have received positive responses. If you see there are tons of posts on a topic, it's a good idea to at least read through some to determine what's been asked and answered previously. If you still feel you have a unique perspective or question then by all means ask, chances are though it's already been asked and answered multiple times.
Ladies, this post was in no way intended to make people mad or irritated and I don't understand why it has done so. I care very much for this child and I am constantly wondering if it is all right and healthy as this is my first pregnancy and I have never experienced any of this before. I am an anxious person and I care more about this baby then anything I have ever cared about before. I don't understand why me being excited over knowing the gender is so terrible; there are a ton of posts on here about people wanting to know the gender and this is no different. I also am not understanding why people are saying I won't find out at 20 weeks, I can find out during the anatomy scan if I choose to. It's sad that we are all expectant mothers excited for our future child and yet people instead come and just make you feel down.
You said it-- the are TONS of posts. Add to one of those. Don't make your own. It's board courtesy.
None of these posts have received positive responses. If you see there are tons of posts on a topic, it's a good idea to at least read through some to determine what's been asked and answered previously. If you still feel you have a unique perspective or question then by all means ask, chances are though it's already been asked and answered multiple times.
What all the other PPs said minus the WK. Plus in a recent BMB poll over 72% of your fellow board members voted they hate these kinds of posts.
Just a thought, since we are all excited hormonal expectant mothers. Why don't we just be nice and supportive to each other. If you don't have anything nice to say, or you don't like what they are posting about, then don't comment, and/or don't even read. And it is not nice to assume someone doesn't care about the health of their baby, because they are excited to learn the gender.
And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until they tell you what they feel like. So odds are, if you having a biological female, she will also have that gender and be raised with that gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It also isn't wrong if at some point she tells you feels like a male, and you adopt that, but it is almost impossible to raise a child completely gender neutral, so most mothers will be raising their biological males and females in the social norms that define gender, so it will be their gender too, until he or she decides to change, if he or she ever does.
Just a thought, since we are all excited hormonal expectant mothers. Why don't we just be nice and supportive to each other. If you don't have anything nice to say, or you don't like what they are posting about, then don't comment, and/or don't even read. And it is not nice to assume someone doesn't care about the health of their baby, because they are excited to learn the gender.
And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until they tell you what they feel like. So odds are, if you having a biological female, she will also have that gender and be raised with that gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It also isn't wrong if at some point she tells you feels like a male, and you adopt that, but it is almost impossible to raise a child completely gender neutral, so most mothers will be raising their biological males and females in the social norms that define gender, so it will be their gender too, until he or she decides to change, if he or she ever does.
God forbid you not put a little girl in a dress or make sure your boy plays with trucks even if they don't want to. Think of what you'd be doing to their emotional and mental state. *rolls eyes*
Explaining the correct usage of a term is not a problem. Allowing people to continue saying the wrong word is. The definition has not changed for either term, people's insistence on correct usage has.
As far as if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all, why did you speak up? You perceived people doing things outside the boundaries of acceptability and decided to step in to try to stop it. Same as everyone else on here did to try to stop the ridiculous tide of am I having a boy or a girl posts.
I never recommended forcing children to dress or play with things they don't want to. That is very presumptuous to say that was what I was saying. And I wasn't saying all moms have to dress their girls in pink and all boys should play with trucks. But it is up to that individual parent how they want to raise their child. We have the right to dress our girls in dresses, or not ever put them in dresses if that is what we want. Once they get a few years in, then they can tell they hate dresses, or love them, or whatever. In those first few months, if a mother wants to dress he daughter in pink some days, it doesn't mean she isn't sensitive to the small percentage of people who don't identify genderwise with their sex. And many girls/women hate dresses and still feel like women.
I'm just saying I think it is ok for us to call it gender, because gender is the way they will be socially raised, and odds are most parents will be raising their child in the gender role that matches their sex, and that is their right to do it. I personally think it is better for a child to be in a gender role. Not saying that you force them to do things against their will, I just think it helps them figure things out in life. And raising them in their gender role doesn't mean that you are only allowing them to do "girly" things, it just means you are are calling her, she, her, my daughter, my girl, etc...
And so what I am saying is that if you are going to raise your daughter as a she, her, girl, etc... then that will be her gender and her sex until she tells you otherwise. So I think it is ok for moms to say that the gender of their baby is boy or girl. But that's just my opinion, just like it is your opinion that we should not say that about our babies.
I do think if you don't like what someone is posting about, just skip the post, don't read it. No need to snap at people about how other people have already posted about it, maybe they are new to Bump and didn't see prior posts, maybe they thought this was the norm since there are so many posts on the topic, it just doesn't make sense to me be rude about it. Just ignore it. People will stop posting about it, if nobody comments on their posts.
"And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a
positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without
any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until
they tell you what they feel like."
You specifically stated that it would be harmful to a child not to raise them with gender specific items. I'm not implying anything. I'm pointing out what you said and stating my opinion that it's completely ridiculous as is your determination to use an incorrect definition which maintains a status quo intended to marginalize a group of people. And if you were to follow your own suggestions of not speaking up when you saw something you disagree with, you would not point out your belief that using outdated and incorrect terminology is acceptable and take others to task for stating differently.
I never recommended forcing children to dress or play with things they don't want to. That is very presumptuous to say that was what I was saying. And I wasn't saying all moms have to dress their girls in pink and all boys should play with trucks. But it is up to that individual parent how they want to raise their child. We have the right to dress our girls in dresses, or not ever put them in dresses if that is what we want. Once they get a few years in, then they can tell they hate dresses, or love them, or whatever. In those first few months, if a mother wants to dress he daughter in pink some days, it doesn't mean she isn't sensitive to the small percentage of people who don't identify genderwise with their sex. And many girls/women hate dresses and still feel like women.
I'm just saying I think it is ok for us to call it gender, because gender is the way they will be socially raised, and odds are most parents will be raising their child in the gender role that matches their sex, and that is their right to do it. I personally think it is better for a child to be in a gender role. Not saying that you force them to do things against their will, I just think it helps them figure things out in life. And raising them in their gender role doesn't mean that you are only allowing them to do "girly" things, it just means you are are calling her, she, her, my daughter, my girl, etc...
And so what I am saying is that if you are going to raise your daughter as a she, her, girl, etc... then that will be her gender and her sex until she tells you otherwise. So I think it is ok for moms to say that the gender of their baby is boy or girl. But that's just my opinion, just like it is your opinion that we should not say that about our babies.
I do think if you don't like what someone is posting about, just skip the post, don't read it. No need to snap at people about how other people have already posted about it, maybe they are new to Bump and didn't see prior posts, maybe they thought this was the norm since there are so many posts on the topic, it just doesn't make sense to me be rude about it. Just ignore it. People will stop posting about it, if nobody comments on their posts.
People are obviously not going to stop if these posts are ignored. If they are new to TB they should have spent their lurking time exploring the community and learning how old and tiresome theae posts have become. A far as the gender/sex argument, we have actually discussed this in SEVERAL prior posts including raising children. The fact that we have covered all this multiple times is the issue here.
The fact that even @VexyMommy, the most patient and informative poster on this topic, is getting frustrated speaks volumes. Go ahead and do a quick search and read some of her posts regarding the terms sex and gender. Read all of the posts on all the threads on your search and tell me if you're not annoyed at the quantity of them. Then you may understand why these repeats are getting this response. Maybe you will learn something as well.
Re: Anxious to know gender
I had help realizing what I was doing by a lot of the wonderful women on this board. @EllaStaxx and @Giraffesramazing (not sure if I @ that correctly) and many others on here pointed out that patience is pretty necessary and all these guessing games are silly. I thought they were being mean at first, but now I get it.
I will find out gender at 20 weeks during the anatomy scan so what do you mean I have a lot longer than a month?
Also I absolutely care if my child is healthy, adding knowing the gender is just fun.
Also I absolutely care if my child is healthy, adding knowing the gender is just fun.
You will find out the SEX of your child. Not the gender. They are not the same.
You said it-- the are TONS of posts. Add to one of those. Don't make your own. It's board courtesy.
Explaining the correct usage of a term is not a problem. Allowing people to continue saying the wrong word is. The definition has not changed for either term, people's insistence on correct usage has.
As far as if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all, why did you speak up? You perceived people doing things outside the boundaries of acceptability and decided to step in to try to stop it. Same as everyone else on here did to try to stop the ridiculous tide of am I having a boy or a girl posts.
You specifically stated that it would be harmful to a child not to raise them with gender specific items. I'm not implying anything. I'm pointing out what you said and stating my opinion that it's completely ridiculous as is your determination to use an incorrect definition which maintains a status quo intended to marginalize a group of people. And if you were to follow your own suggestions of not speaking up when you saw something you disagree with, you would not point out your belief that using outdated and incorrect terminology is acceptable and take others to task for stating differently.
The fact that even @VexyMommy, the most patient and informative poster on this topic, is getting frustrated speaks volumes. Go ahead and do a quick search and read some of her posts regarding the terms sex and gender. Read all of the posts on all the threads on your search and tell me if you're not annoyed at the quantity of them. Then you may understand why these repeats are getting this response. Maybe you will learn something as well.