I'm saying completely excluding those items so they have no clue whether they are a girl or a boy is wrong. I think you just misunderstood what I was saying. I was saying trying to specifically not telling them they are a boy or a girl would not be positive. Telling a baby she is a girl, or he is a boy, I think is a good thing. Not saying girls should only have "girl" things and boys should only have "boy" things. Most baby things are gender neutral, and by the time they want more gender specific items, they should be old enough to tell you. But if you want to name your daughter Amy, and call her she, and buy her something pink, go for it.
But I am entitled to my opinion, and I think the convention that the child will be raised under, at school, on sport teams, etc... will match their sex, in the majority of cases, so it is ok for moms to call it gender. I understand that you think it is not ok, but both of our opinions, are just opinions. So I don't think it is fair to tell someone that is not the gender of her child, or that she will not know the gender of her until the child is older, because the social conventions that the child will be raised will be the gender that matches their sex, in many cases, so it will be their gender, until they decide otherwise.
You don't have to agree with it, just like I don't agree with you, but I don't think demanding that people do not use the word gender is unfair.
Just a thought, since we are all excited hormonal expectant mothers. Why don't we just be nice and supportive to each other. If you don't have anything nice to say, or you don't like what they are posting about, then don't comment, and/or don't even read. And it is not nice to assume someone doesn't care about the health of their baby, because they are excited to learn the gender.
And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until they tell you what they feel like. So odds are, if you having a biological female, she will also have that gender and be raised with that gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It also isn't wrong if at some point she tells you feels like a male, and you adopt that, but it is almost impossible to raise a child completely gender neutral, so most mothers will be raising their biological males and females in the social norms that define gender, so it will be their gender too, until he or she decides to change, if he or she ever does.
Quit blaming hormones on people calling others out. We are all adults here. We can control ourselves.
In order for this to be a supportive community there has to be rules and an order to things. Asking people to look at your unborn baby's genitals is ridiculous. And using the term gender incorrectly is insensitive.
I never recommended forcing children to dress or play with things they don't want to. That is very presumptuous to say that was what I was saying. And I wasn't saying all moms have to dress their girls in pink and all boys should play with trucks. But it is up to that individual parent how they want to raise their child. We have the right to dress our girls in dresses, or not ever put them in dresses if that is what we want. Once they get a few years in, then they can tell they hate dresses, or love them, or whatever. In those first few months, if a mother wants to dress he daughter in pink some days, it doesn't mean she isn't sensitive to the small percentage of people who don't identify genderwise with their sex. And many girls/women hate dresses and still feel like women.
I'm just saying I think it is ok for us to call it gender, because gender is the way they will be socially raised, and odds are most parents will be raising their child in the gender role that matches their sex, and that is their right to do it. I personally think it is better for a child to be in a gender role. Not saying that you force them to do things against their will, I just think it helps them figure things out in life. And raising them in their gender role doesn't mean that you are only allowing them to do "girly" things, it just means you are are calling her, she, her, my daughter, my girl, etc...
And so what I am saying is that if you are going to raise your daughter as a she, her, girl, etc... then that will be her gender and her sex until she tells you otherwise. So I think it is ok for moms to say that the gender of their baby is boy or girl. But that's just my opinion, just like it is your opinion that we should not say that about our babies.
I do think if you don't like what someone is posting about, just skip the post, don't read it. No need to snap at people about how other people have already posted about it, maybe they are new to Bump and didn't see prior posts, maybe they thought this was the norm since there are so many posts on the topic, it just doesn't make sense to me be rude about it. Just ignore it. People will stop posting about it, if nobody comments on their posts.
It actually doesn't matter what you think, because you are incorrect; and instead of perpetuating the spread of false information, you should take some time to educate yourself.
For those that know the difference between sex vs gender, the bolded portion of your post above sounds like someone else saying "I think I can call beef pork, because it's all meat and we are just going to eat it anyway." We know the difference; get educated and use the correct terms or continue to look ignorant on a topic that, in the same breath, you are trying so hard to persuade others to agree with you upon.
Lastly, for someone who has told others to ignore things they don't like on multiple occasions now, you certainly aren't taking your own advice.
a: a subclass within a grammatical class (as noun, pronoun, adjective, or verb) of a language that is partly arbitrary but also partly based on distinguishable characteristics (as shape, social rank, manner of existence, or sex) and that determines agreement with and selection of other words or grammatical forms
b: membership of a word or a grammatical form in such a subclass
c: an inflectional form showing membership in such a subclass
"And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. "
So because a majority of people identify with the gender that matches with their sex, we should ignore the fact that a minority exists and just keep using incorrect terminology? Culture and evolution of language drive our need to refine vocabulary over time. Not that long ago, there were several terms used to describe various racial (minority) groups in this country that would be considered inappropriate, bigoted and insulting today. Words evolve and take on new meaning over time and pleading ignorance does not make it OK once you've been informed. I don't consider myself the most educated individual when it comes to LGBT matters, but even I understand this difference (sex vs gender) and have updated my phrasing of questions/comments so as not to insult anyone. I do this out of respect as I wouldn't want to be insulted via the use of terms that have existed in the past to identify a group that I belong to.
So yeah... it has been a great day on N15. My goodness...
Not sure why @riott1977 posted the definitions above. If you were trying to prove that you had done your research as suggested above, I'll be the first to tell you research entails much more than googling the definition of a word.
@BumpAdmin Can we pleeeeeeease just sticky this post so everyone can post on it when they're anxious about the sex of their baby? A lot of us are tired of repeat threads and it'll help these ladies find like minded individuals to share the excitement with. Thanks!
I'm saying completely excluding those items so they have no clue whether they are a girl or a boy is wrong. I think you just misunderstood what I was saying. I was saying trying to specifically not telling them they are a boy or a girl would not be positive. Telling a baby she is a girl, or he is a boy, I think is a good thing. Not saying girls should only have "girl" things and boys should only have "boy" things. Most baby things are gender neutral, and by the time they want more gender specific items, they should be old enough to tell you. But if you want to name your daughter Amy, and call her she, and buy her something pink, go for it.
But I am entitled to my opinion, and I think the convention that the child will be raised under, at school, on sport teams, etc... will match their sex, in the majority of cases, so it is ok for moms to call it gender. I understand that you think it is not ok, but both of our opinions, are just opinions. So I don't think it is fair to tell someone that is not the gender of her child, or that she will not know the gender of her until the child is older, because the social conventions that the child will be raised will be the gender that matches their sex, in many cases, so it will be their gender, until they decide otherwise.
You don't have to agree with it, just like I don't agree with you, but I don't think demanding that people do not use the word gender is unfair.
Why in the world would a child need to play with specific things or dress a certain way, etc. to know that they are a boy or girl? I often sported short hair and played with hot wheels and legos as a child, and I certainly did not grow up thinking I was a boy. Nobody is saying that they are going to raise their child completely gender-neutrally; they are simply asking people to use the correct terms when it comes to anatomy vs. gender.
Just a thought, since we are all excited hormonal expectant mothers. Why don't we just be nice and supportive to each other. If you don't have anything nice to say, or you don't like what they are posting about, then don't comment, and/or don't even read. And it is not nice to assume someone doesn't care about the health of their baby, because they are excited to learn the gender.
And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until they tell you what they feel like. So odds are, if you having a biological female, she will also have that gender and be raised with that gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It also isn't wrong if at some point she tells you feels like a male, and you adopt that, but it is almost impossible to raise a child completely gender neutral, so most mothers will be raising their biological males and females in the social norms that define gender, so it will be their gender too, until he or she decides to change, if he or she ever does.
Exactly this. There are a lot of mean girls on this board.
Just a thought, since we are all excited hormonal expectant mothers. Why don't we just be nice and supportive to each other. If you don't have anything nice to say, or you don't like what they are posting about, then don't comment, and/or don't even read. And it is not nice to assume someone doesn't care about the health of their baby, because they are excited to learn the gender.
And it is also kind of rude to point the recently changing definitions of gender, it meant sex interchangeably not too long ago. And the most likely outcome is that if you having a child who is biologically a male or female, you will also raise them in that gender role, with gender specific outfits, haircuts, toys, names, etc... There are a a small percentage of people who identify with a gender that doesn't match their sex, but it is rare, so likely the sex and gender will be the same. And I think it would be very confusing, and in my opinion, not a positive thing to not tell a child their gender and raise them without any gender specific names, clothing, haircuts, and toys and wait until they tell you what they feel like. So odds are, if you having a biological female, she will also have that gender and be raised with that gender, and there is nothing wrong with that.
It also isn't wrong if at some point she tells you feels like a male, and you adopt that, but it is almost impossible to raise a child completely gender neutral, so most mothers will be raising their biological males and females in the social norms that define gender, so it will be their gender too, until he or she decides to change, if he or she ever does.
Exactly this. There are a lot of mean girls on this board.
No. There are a lot of women who have been around the bump a long time who are fed up with new users who don't take the time to learn how the community works.
Don't worry a lot of women on this board are just angry and like constantly calling people out. Unfortunately they never learned if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all. This is honestly the most bitter group of women I have encountered so far on social media. I am due Oct 30th so have been on the Oct group lately bc of this nonsense and the whole tone of the group is different- lighthearted, fun, supportive, great topics, and so far in a few pages have seen none of this garbage. Every other post is tense in the November group as the post police are trolling. Not sure how they have the time to nastily comment on every post. Just ignore.. And if you want to read more supportive posts or just plain fun, check out Oct. I will be spending more time there after checking it out last night!
And to answer your question- you can find out the sex at 16 weeks by blood test which is very accurate or US depending on baby's position, obv there is a chance could be wrong still.. 20 wk anatomy scan is the typical time for this.
Don't worry a lot of women on this board are just angry and like constantly calling people out. Unfortunately they never learned if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all. This is honestly the most bitter group of women I have encountered so far on social media. I am due Oct 30th so have been on the Oct group lately bc of this nonsense and the whole tone of the group is different- lighthearted, fun, supportive, great topics, and so far in a few pages have seen none of this garbage. Every other post is tense in the November group as the post police are trolling. Not sure how they have the time to nastily comment on every post. Just ignore.. And if you want to read more supportive posts or just plain fun, check out Oct. I will be spending more time there after checking it out last night!
And to answer your question- you can find out the sex at 16 weeks by blood test which is very accurate or US depending on baby's position, obv there is a chance could be wrong still.. 20 wk anatomy scan is the typical time for this.
Okay. Then stay there? Long post for someone who accused others of having too much time...
Don't worry a lot of women on this board are just angry and like constantly calling people out. Unfortunately they never learned if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all. This is honestly the most bitter group of women I have encountered so far on social media. I am due Oct 30th so have been on the Oct group lately bc of this nonsense and the whole tone of the group is different- lighthearted, fun, supportive, great topics, and so far in a few pages have seen none of this garbage. Every other post is tense in the November group as the post police are trolling. Not sure how they have the time to nastily comment on every post. Just ignore.. And if you want to read more supportive posts or just plain fun, check out Oct. I will be spending more time there after checking it out last night!
And to answer your question- you can find out the sex at 16 weeks by blood test which is very accurate or US depending on baby's position, obv there is a chance could be wrong still.. 20 wk anatomy scan is the typical time for this.
I would love to have more threads like those you mentioned, but we can't because frivolous threads like this bump them down. This is what we've been asking for for - use one thread just as we do other topics.
We get upset by people who have contributed to the community in absolutley no positive way either trying to get us to stare at their kids genitals or repeat information that 30 seconds of searching either on this board or google would give to them. Asking first time mommy's to be to act like sensible adults should not be something that the people are bashed for. I love answering questions and helping people through situations, but if you don't take the smallest amount of initiative to help yourself then honestly go stew in your own ineptitude.
I am so fed up with the entitled nature of the women who've shown up on here lately. "I asked a question that's been asked 30 times in the past week, why don't people love me for it? They're all so mean." Grow up and learn that nobody likes a whiner.
We get upset by people who have contributed to the community in absolutley no positive way either trying to get us to stare at their kids genitals or repeat information that 30 seconds of searching either on this board or google would give to them. Asking first time mommy's to be to act like sensible adults should not be something that the people are bashed for. I love answering questions and helping people through situations, but if you don't take the smallest amount of initiative to help yourself then honestly go stew in your own ineptitude.
I am so fed up with the entitled nature of the women who've shown up on here lately. "I asked a question that's been asked 30 times in the past week, why don't people love me for it? They're all so mean." Grow up and learn that nobody likes a whiner.
Love this. I probably would have said in a much worser tone & not have so kind worded. Because it does get frustrating reading multiply post & it does get boring constantly hearing how mean some of us are being. When really it's because we are sick to death of reading 100's of same posts.
I was also taught to be honest weather that means saying something people may not like to hear. As pp said grow up & learn that nobody likes a whiner.
You guys are whining on every post! You sound like a broken record. There is always going to be new people trying out or looking so unless you want to continue this the rest of your pregnancy I suggest you get over it!
You guys are whining on every post! You sound like a broken record. There is always going to be new people trying out or looking so unless you want to continue this the rest of your pregnancy I suggest you get over it!
The point is that new people should be using some of that time to lurk and get a feel for the community. If they were doing so, they would probably know that posting crotch shots of your unborn child or pictures of your naked belly - especially if the latter is done outside of an existing HDBD thread - may not be well-received on this particular board. New members should also be able to utilizing the search feature to find a thread that's already in progress instead of starting the fifth one of the day on the same topic. You're actually proving our point for us in using the fact that they are new to the board as an excuse for their disregard of the established rapport and candor here.
Re: Anxious to know gender
We are all adults here. We can control ourselves.
In order for this to be a supportive community there has to be rules and an order to things. Asking people to look at your unborn baby's genitals is ridiculous. And using the term gender incorrectly is insensitive.
For those that know the difference between sex vs gender, the bolded portion of your post above sounds like someone else saying "I think I can call beef pork, because it's all meat and we are just going to eat it anyway." We know the difference; get educated and use the correct terms or continue to look ignorant on a topic that, in the same breath, you are trying so hard to persuade others to agree with you upon.
Lastly, for someone who has told others to ignore things they don't like on multiple occasions now, you certainly aren't taking your own advice.
Merriam Webster Dictionary:
Full Definition of GENDER
And this quote is everything @cerridwen624
"I think I can call beef pork, because it's all meat and we are just going to eat it anyway."
Well done ladies.
And to answer your question- you can find out the sex at 16 weeks by blood test which is very accurate or US depending on baby's position, obv there is a chance could be wrong still.. 20 wk anatomy scan is the typical time for this.
Okay. Then stay there? Long post for someone who accused others of having too much time...
I am so fed up with the entitled nature of the women who've shown up on here lately. "I asked a question that's been asked 30 times in the past week, why don't people love me for it? They're all so mean." Grow up and learn that nobody likes a whiner.
I was also taught to be honest weather that means saying something people may not like to hear. As pp said grow up & learn that nobody likes a whiner.