Depressed about husband wanting me to get a job

karichelle95 · May 2015

I'm 18 weeks, haven't had a job in over a year. He is freaking out that we need all the baby stuff like the big buys (car seat, crib, stroller, stuff u don't ask for at baby shower) & now fridge wants to mess up. He makes decent money, bills take up most of it, my insurance. The deal is I had a missed miscarriage last year around 10-11 weeks no heart beat. This baby's heart is strong every time we go to hear it. Will get to see it for the second time at the end of the month. So I do not want to jeapordize my baby. I would rather be in a bubble & just walk to get some exercise. Also who will hire a pregnant lady this late in pregnancy & then actually let her off for maternity leave? I highly doubt they would pick me when someone else wouldn't need maternity leave or have baby to worry about when doing their job. So what do I do? Should I tell him to jump off a cliff & divorce me if he is gonna do that to me? Or actually consider it? My family is in an out rage over it especially my own momma. He keeps bringing it up though & also wants me to go camping & spend all day at a family reunion also at a lake. Its like he doesn't care how I feel or exhausted when I get out in the sun. I still do house work when I probably shouldn't. I'm usually out by the time he gets off work. I probably shouldn't even be lifting groceries or garbage. What all do u experienced or new mommas think of all this?

bbiutmcph · May 2015

karichelle95 said:
I'm 18 weeks, haven't had a job in over a year. He is freaking out that we need all the baby stuff like the big buys (car seat, crib, stroller, stuff u don't ask for at baby shower) & now fridge wants to mess up. He makes decent money, bills take up most of it, my insurance. The deal is I had a missed miscarriage last year around 10-11 weeks no heart beat. This baby's heart is strong every time we go to hear it. Will get to see it for the second time at the end of the month. So I do not want to jeapordize my baby. I would rather be in a bubble & just walk to get some exercise. Also who will hire a pregnant lady this late in pregnancy & then actually let her off for maternity leave? I highly doubt they would pick me when someone else wouldn't need maternity leave or have baby to worry about when doing their job. So what do I do? Should I tell him to jump off a cliff & divorce me if he is gonna do that to me? Or actually consider it? My family is in an out rage over it especially my own momma. He keeps bringing it up though & also wants me to go camping & spend all day at a family reunion also at a lake. Its like he doesn't care how I feel or exhausted when I get out in the sun. I still do house work when I probably shouldn't. I'm usually out by the time he gets off work. I probably shouldn't even be lifting groceries or garbage. What all do u experienced or new mommas think of all this?

If you need the money as a family you need to the money. If his pay is almost taken with bills, a little money would be very beneficial to you as a family. Many people would like to not have to work but many circumstances cannot allow that to happen, things change and it doesn't work, etc. It's not your families business either. It should be between you and your husband. If it would help financially there is no reason you can't get even a PT job as a cashier or something to bring in money. As someone who suffered IF I can understand being anxious when pregnant but you are not disabled and a majority of women work up until their due dates. There are ALWAYS jobs out there, it might not be the best job but you can still get hired and be pregnant, you won't qualify for maternity leave paid but with summer almost here there will be lots of places looking for summer temp help.

JaqiDec04 · May 2015

I agree with the PP.

You sound a little spoiled when you say you shouldn't be lifting groceries or garbage or cleaning the house. Unless your doctor told you not to, there's absolutely no reason to put yourself on bed rest. If your family needs the money, then your family needs the money. And that isn't anyone else's business but you and your husband. You shouldn't be discussing this with your mother.

spraklepea · May 2015

If your doctor hasn't put you on restrictions then it might not be a bad idea to bring in a little extra money for awhile. I hear that you're worried. Good luck!

Sbrouwer0706 · May 2015

Your husband probably feels a lot of pressure being the only one bringing in an income. Starting a family is stressful and expensive. Even with insurance you can end up having quite the bill out of pocket from the doctor/hospital. I understand you have had a miscarriage and being pregnant again is scary. If it makes you feel more comfortable, talk to the doctor. I don't think what your husband is asking is unreasonable but I do think that telling him to "divorce me if he is going to do that" is.

bgriest · May 2015

I agree with the PP's. If he works and is paying all the bills and you guys need the extra money then you need money. I'm not very sympathetic as I too had a missed miscarriage last year and I still work two jobs and six days a week. I clean and help out around the house. Unless my doctor puts me on restrictions. My fiancé makes very good money but I would also never use anything as an excuse to completely depend on him. He supports us for the most part as I have a lot of my own bills but I work 2 jobs in order to help out a little so it's not 100% all on him even though he can afford to do it on his own if I didn't work 2 jobs.

I understand being nervous but living in a bubble isn't going to help. The majority of miscarriages have absolutely nothing to do with anything you do/dont do. Working, light house work, etc are not going to cause a miscarriage unless you're a high risk pregnancy and supposed to be on bed rest.

edavis926 · May 2015

I don't want to seem like everyone is coming down on you but it just doesn't seem like not having a job is in the best interest for your family. There are plenty of summer seasonal jobs out there. You won't get maternity leave but even if you did, if you are fighting a job now I really don't think you'd go back after that short of a time anyway. Personally if I was in the same place I would be a lot more stressed out and anxious about money that I would be about working.

Also, aside from probably laying off some of the heavier cleaning products there is no reason you can't do any of the things you say you shouldn't be doing. When I worked at Walmart there was a cashier that I was usually next to that worked up until she gave birth. Occasionally she'd ask if I could help her with things the size of a case of coke or heavier but that was it and that was the very end of her pregnancy.

spraklepea · May 2015

Also, I totally plan on going camping this summer (car-camping, not walk-in). Although I think I'm going to be one of those people and bring a fan and extension cord. I figure I'm going to be kind of uncomfortable no matter what so might as well be with friends and nature.

cgummie · May 2015

As far as working goes, you could find a position that allows you to work from home. Not the best pay, but allows you to be comfortable while earning something extra.

nsaid4u · May 2015

You can buy clean, gently used baby stuff. That will save tons of money.

a2015 · May 2015

I'm not going to be repetitive here but only say if mom wants to have a say and you don't want to get a job, then mom can buy all the stuff that your husbands stressed out about? It's a lot of stress to financially support a new baby and a wife. Maybe you guys need to talk a little more about how each other feels and what each other can do to help out a little? Budget better?

kjacks6347 · May 2015

Pregnancy isn't a disability. You can work. Many women do it up until their due date. There are pregnant women who run marathons...I do not see the issue with cleaning the house and lifting some grocery bags with the exception of restrictions. Sounds like you guys need to have a very serious and open talk about your options.

justyh · May 2015

Why wouldn't you want to provide for the child? I understand ur scared but aren't you scared you won't have money to provide for your family? I miss carried last year and had to go back to working 7 days a week only 3 days later because our family needed the money. I plan on working until the doctor tells me I can't. Although I did cut down to five days a week now that I'm pregnant again even a part time job would not be a bad idea. You should really consider how he feels, this is his pregnancy and child just as much as yours.

kabnpauj · May 2015

I was in the same situation like you. My husband wanted me to work when I was 7 weeks and had very bad morning sickness. I thought the same like you, who would want to hire a pregnant woman? I didn't want to work since it took us 6 years and ivf to get pregnant, but when the opportunity came up, I took it. I know we needed the extra money. I told my employer straight out I'm pregnant and sick, and they still hire me. I was supposed to work full time, but ended up working part time because of my morning sickness. You will not know until u look for a job. There are company that will accommodate you. And like many suggested, there will be summer jobs. Oh, and I'm only a temp.

J1D · May 2015

I'm a FTM and I'm a homemaker and I'll be a stay at home mom. I would freak out if all the sudden my husband said I needed to get an outside job. BUT me being a homemaker and stay at home mom has ALWAYS been our plan. I had actually just quit my job to help with my nephew (because my sister had complications with his birth) when I met my now husband. When he moved in with me I was basically already a part time stay at home psuedo mom and when we got engaged and bought our house together he saw no reason for me to go back to work and that was 3 years ago. So in our world it would be very strange if he up and suggested I get a job now when I'm 16 weeks pregnant. But again that's our arrangement. I still do the house cleaning, laundry and cooking when I feel up to it. I don't lift heavy things but I consider "heavy" to be more than the weight of a toddler. I've been so incredibly sick so far that I honestly haven't been worth much around the house but my husband doesn't get down on me for it because he wants this baby as much as I do and he considers the pregnancy my main job right now. But again, in our world, all of this was discussed long before we got married and again before we got pregnant. If we ran into minor financial troubles our first course of action would be to scale down - get rid of cable, drop some classes my husband takes for fun, cook more at home, general tighten your belt type stuff. Major issues like we are going to lose the house or my husband would have to get a second job to make ends meet, I'd go get a job. So, what I think, is that you need to talk things over with your husband. Find out what your goals/expectations are. If you are physically capable of working and truly need the money than a part time summer job could earn enough to get those few big ticket baby essentials. Or maybe you have something extra in your life you could cut out to save some money. I do agree with one point pp make about if your mother doesn't want you to work is she willing to buy those items for you? Otherwise, she can't really have a vote if it comes down to what you actually can and can't afford. IF of course the reason your husband wants to to work really just is to earn enough money for the baby items because you truly can't afford them. PP also made a good point that several of the big ticket items can safely be bought second hand for substantial savings. I had to quit my job to take care of my nephew so I had no extra money. I asked around on Facebook for a few of the things I needed and between friends and the second hand shops I was able to get all the basics to be able to care for him. Mismatched and not fancy at all, but it got the job done. My nephew never complained once that his changing table didn't match his swing (a "girls" swing at that) or that his high chair came from a thrift store.

cnorth82 · May 2015

You could get a part time job at a maternity store! They probably love having pregnant workers to help customers and you might get a discount on baby stuff!

I agree with another PP who said there may be "extras" to cut out to save money...like cable, eating out at restaurants, etc.

Best thing to do is talk to your husband. Sounds like he needs to explain his financial concerns, and you need to explain your emotional/physical concerns.

I hope you two can come to an understanding of each other's feelings on the matters, and work out a plan that will make each of you feel better moving forward.

Because, ultimately, the baby is the most important thing -- both taking care of your health (talk to your doctor about restrictions), and taking care of it financially.

merkodblp · May 2015

Up until we found out we were expecting, I was the sole income for our family. It's extremely stressful knowing that our financial well being fell on me, especially with a baby on the way. My husband and I are both in school. I can't tell you what a load off my shoulders it was that he took on a part time job. Yes we're tired and don't get as much free time as we would like but should something come up, we've got a little peace of mind financially. I've also miscarried, and I had to work the next day and I'm going to be working until I pop this rainbow baby out. It may sound like too much for you, but you have no idea how much stress a part time job will save your husband!

amandagrider · May 2015

I know how you feel. I teach and would normally have the summer off, but took a summer school position to earn some extra cash. I don't want to do it, but I know that it will really help out our family.

Love the ideas of working at a baby care or maternity store. That might be really enjoyable for you!!!

twogirlsandagreen · May 2015

Maybe look for a part time position at a children's consignment store. Then you will have some extra income and you will also be able to find some awesome used baby things at a great price. There is no reason to have a brand new crib or stroller!

tuinstrab · May 2015

I went through this with my husband. I quit my teaching job when we had my first daughter and my husband agreed when I quit that he would just go in an extra day for OT. He worked Fri-Sun and has Mon-Thurs off so it didn't sound too bad to go in for a few hours of OT. However this started to get old real fast.

So he asked me to start go in and substitute teach. I was not happy and I did NOT want to work and we had several fights about it. Because I didn't want to leave my daughter I decided instead of subbing I would nanny. I watch one little boy every other weekend. It brings in extra money and is a little playmate for my daughter. I look back on how I acted, refusing to work and I realize I was a big jerk. It wasn't fair to put all the pressure on my husband.

It is my suggestion you try to work from home as well. I do think though that you need to find something. Maybe even a job at toys r us or babies r us...you could then use your employee discount!! Woo hoo.

Also. .you should be fine lifting groceries and house work. I do all if that. The only thing I asked my husband to help with is lifting those large packages of bottled water. You gotta buck up a bit...the baby will be fine.

UnicornFarts1125 · May 2015

"he should just jump off a cliff and divorce me"??? You think if you raise the baby alone, then you wouldn't need a job?!?!

paisleybee · May 2015

You both need to get on the same page financially before baby is here. It will make your marriage so much better and less stressful. Many pp have given you good advice. But it's seriously nothing to be "depressed" over.

crbpjb · May 2015

I feel like I am on a completely different planet than this post. We are pregnant, not disabled. Being pregnant is not a full time gig. I just think this is offensive to those who work their butts off or are primary breadwinners or took on second jobs on top of full time work to help pay for baby. Going to work does not cause miscarriages.

I know you are probably offended by some of the responses, but I think these women are offended by your comments on working while pregnant since they are working very hard to provide for their families and babies.

Jame414 · May 2015

You are being unreasonable. You are not disabled. You don't know what anyone will consider until you try to get a job without self sabotaging an opportunity. It doesn't have to be forever....but it sounds like it would Really help out your family now. I always will have to work bc I carry our insurance benefits and btw being a sahm is not an entitlement. Though It works for some couples who plan for it ahead of time, Everyone's financial situation dictates differently. If you need money, you get a job. If your kids need things, you definitely get a job. Babies are expensive. Grow up and quit being selfish - this is one of the most irritating posts to date.

dchiapella · May 2015

Trust me, I don't want to be working but I have to keep my 65+ hours a week for us to pay the bills. Family is the priority, even if that means sacrificing your life style to provide. If you're in a lucky enough position to have not been working and to just need cushion money for the baby then I'm sorry, you are SO much luckier than most of us woman on here who will be sacrificing all the firsts with our babies so that we can put a roof over their head. Also, threatening divorce is NOT healthy to ANY of your. If you do that how do you expect to raise your baby without the financial support of your husband? Think about the role model you want to set for your child. Strong, independent, self supporting? Or someone who wants everyone else to do things for them and calls it quits if it doesn't happen.

On a separate note. It doesn't sound like he's asking too much of you. Try baby sitting. It's everything you'll be doing anyway after the baby's born. Paid under the table. Most families will pay upwards of $10 an hour. Also. Things change. "Arrangements" change. I get that you have full control over the household for now but how long is that going to last with a baby? They change EVERYTHING in unforeseeable ways. You need to really check yourself, talk to some moms who have gone through it all before and get a reality check on how wonderfully blessed you've been to be a homemaker at all. I would kill for that opportunity and it's one I will never be given. It's just the harsh reality of today's economy. I say give your husband a hug, thank him for supporting you and understand that now's your turn to provide even a little bit. You have to work together with your husband if you want to be a stable family when the baby's born. If you're married, raise him/ her in a marriage... not a war zone.

soberrysweet · May 2015

Ditto the PP's and you have some serious growing up to do if your solution is that your husband jump off a cliff and divorce you.

jenspeake · May 2015

I plan on registering for those big ticket items....why can't you? People do go in together on gifts, especially if they know you need it! Can't hurt! My friend is due in July and she unloads trucks for a department store for a living! I would try babysitting for the summer. There are probably lots of people who need summer daycare. Or seasonable work at a restaurant with an outdoor sitting area or places like Lowe's that need help in the outside area for the summer. I still do everything I did before....clean, groceries, etc. I just now make my husband carry stuff down to our basement. That's it! My husband has been debating getting a part-time job before the baby comes so we have an extra $$ cushion and we both have full-time jobs!

jenboston22 · May 2015

Well, I think my opinion is slightly different from the previous posters, but I do agree that it really depends on your family, and that you should really sit down and discuss all of your options with your husband. In my family, my husband is finishing up his MBA, so I am working, but I work from home as a freelancer, and thus can work when I feel well enough (I've had a very difficult pregnancy). Once he gets a job and the baby comes he is fine with whatever I prefer (continuing to work or not). Right now I think I will continue, but with fewer hours.

Anyway, I'm generally very liberal, so it's a bit of a strange feeling for me to have, but I really like it when husbands provide enough for wives to have the option to stay home if/when the need arises (or vice versa, if the husband prefers to stay home and the wife prefers to work). Obviously this is not always possible, which is why it's important to discuss desired income, desired living standards, etc. with your partner.

Good luck!

tate62610 · May 2015

To me, you sound like a spoiled brat. If you need the money, get a job. Pregnancy doesn't mean you become useless.

Birdee212 · May 2015

I could be way off but you seem to have significant anxiety issues. It sounds like you've had anxiety for a long time and the miscarriage just made it worse. I think that's the real reason why you don't want to get a job: deep down you're scared of working, period, and you're using your pregnancy as a way to justify not having to. Ask yourself if you'd have had the same panicked reaction if you weren't pregnant right now and your husband asked you to work again. If your answer is yes, you need to address the problem with your doctor, consider getting counseling, and also clue your husband in. You're panicky right now and thinking in extremes. Calm down and actually talk to him about your anxiety in a constructive and mature way. Then make plans to get a job.

Out of curiosity, what was your job before you stopped working last year? Why did you stop working? Did you have plans to go back to work before you became pregnant again at the new year?

Also, I don't see how camping by a lake would make you so upset. Unless you're worried about germs or contracting a parasite like penis fish, in which case, read the above.

mishala12 · May 2015

A lot of places will hire you, you also dont have to say youre pregnant and it is extremely illegal to fire someone because they are pregnant. Starbucks would be a great option. They have awesome benefits and i hear you qualify for maternity after 6 months. Also full time there is only 30 hrs a week. (dont quote me, just hearing this from a friend who works there)

VioletandRose · May 2015

Wow. I work a full time job and took on a second, night time (work from home) job when I found out I was pregnant so we could have some extra cash for when the baby comes. Like other posters have said, you are pregnant, not disabled. In fact, most doctors will tell you that staying active and continuing your regular routine during pregnancy is a GOOD thing. They don't want you to be on bed rest unless there is a diagnosed reason.

ELParker814 · May 2015

This makes me sad... I feel like you should do everything you can to provide for baby. I work as a teacher of the deaf/hard of hearing full time AND I teach swimming lessons, indoors, part time. Granted, the company has taken me out of the water because the lesson pool is 90 degrees and they don't want me getting kicked, but I teach the advanced, out of water classes.

I did make the decision not to work full time this summer as I usually do. But that is more so that I can get the house ready for baby while he works full time. I have also had two ER visits and other medical issues over the last 17 weeks but these aren't stopping me... Though, they have slowed me down... Until the doctors tell me to stop, I'm continuing with my day to day!

I also agree that a maternity/baby store would have NO PROBLEM hiring someone who is pregnant. There was a woman at the maternity store when I went shopping that was 33 weeks and still going.

kfry22 · May 2015

This is going to come off harsh.... Getting divorced because your husband wants you to get a job is childish. Hypothetically speaking of you did do that, how do you think your child will feel when they find out? I would feel like my mom divorced my dad because she didn't want to work and make money to support me.

Carmofrap · May 2015

I think you're being unreasonable or at the least overly cautious. Unless you've been put on bed rest pregnancy is no excuse not to keep doing household tasks and staying active. In fact exercise is good. How on earth do you expect to go throughout the hardest physical thing you've probably ever done when labor starts if you've lazed around the whole pregnancy... With my son I paced for over 24 hrs straight and I couldn't have made it through if I'd been a helpless blimp on the couch all 9 months. As for working unless you guys were planning on you being a stahm and your husband now doesn't want it which I could totally understand freaking about, then you're not being fair to your husband. I worked with my first pregnancy that ended at 14 weeks and I was working 3 jobs because my husband had been laid off. With the next he had been hired back and didn't want me too so I got lucky but I would have happily worked for my pregnancy.it was actually a Lil boring being home so much. I would have enjoyed a part time job. Take your time, be picky till you get a job you will enjoy if you don't absolutely have to work and just do it pt. You'll be surprised with how nice it is to have the extra income to lavish on the upcoming baby. And if you hate it you can always talk to your husband about quitting after you've shown you are willing to help.

twogirlsandagreen · May 2015

I agree with most of these posters. You need to do what you need to do for your family. It is a TEAM effort. None of us sits around wallowing and waiting the time away, unless of course it is doctor ordered. I had two mc last year and I went skiing at 5 weeks this time. I even fell pretty hard on my stomach. If that didn't make me mc then I'm pretty sure none of my day to day activities will. Plus, if you were to divorce him over this (which would be so ridiculous), don't you think you would have to work?! You would be living on alimony and or child support, which is a fraction of what you are living on now. Put your big girl panties on and go look for a job mama. You are an adult who is bringing a life in to the world, for which you are responsible no matter what it takes. This child is not only your husband's responsibility, especially if you need the extra income.

anikamanibo · May 2015

as most response here say.. i think you should definitely consider what your husband is suggesting..

after all, i don't think he would ask help if he doesn't really feel like he needs your help..

at least give it a shot.. i know you're stressed about the baby, but you should also think about how your husband feels..

being stressed about money is not good too..

ellasnow · May 2015

karichelle95 said:
I'm 18 weeks, haven't had a job in over a year. He is freaking out that we need all the baby stuff like the big buys (car seat, crib, stroller, stuff u don't ask for at baby shower) & now fridge wants to mess up. He makes decent money, bills take up most of it, my insurance. The deal is I had a missed miscarriage last year around 10-11 weeks no heart beat. This baby's heart is strong every time we go to hear it. Will get to see it for the second time at the end of the month. So I do not want to jeapordize my baby. I would rather be in a bubble & just walk to get some exercise. Also who will hire a pregnant lady this late in pregnancy & then actually let her off for maternity leave? I highly doubt they would pick me when someone else wouldn't need maternity leave or have baby to worry about when doing their job. So what do I do? Should I tell him to jump off a cliff & divorce me if he is gonna do that to me? Or actually consider it? My family is in an out rage over it especially my own momma. He keeps bringing it up though & also wants me to go camping & spend all day at a family reunion also at a lake. Its like he doesn't care how I feel or exhausted when I get out in the sun. I still do house work when I probably shouldn't. I'm usually out by the time he gets off work. I probably shouldn't even be lifting groceries or garbage. What all do u experienced or new mommas think of all this?

Wow harsh comments. First off I don't know your relationship with your husband. I would just sit down calmly with him and understand his thoughts and concerns. Sometimes we pregnant mamas can get a little emotional so just be aware of that when your trying to communicate. Or a letter to get your thoughts out but it's about you guys and your baby...not just one or the other.

Also I am so sorry you had a miscarriage and can only guess how nervous you are this time but every time you get pregnant it's different from the next. As long as your doctor says it's ok to work maybe just open the discussion with your husband about your fears and concerns but also talk about the stresses on him as well. I am a stay at home mom but during my pregnancy I do things for my husband like help him with his work or help with the house and I tell him how much I appreciate all he does for us and our family. If I had to work I would but I think In your case you are nervous and don't understand why your husband may not understand and why he is putting pressure on you. Don't forget your in this together too..give him a big hug and kiss and make sure he feels appreciated. If you are in any financial strain just talk to him

I understand your fears and concerns but if it's a healthy pregnancy that baby is coming

sunflower1986 · May 2015

I am a sahm now but worked until the morning I was admitted into the hospital for pre-eclampsia. Having my income was a life saver for the extra meals out, last minute needs and extra medical bills (eeven though we have good insurance)ehen dd came.
I think in the moment it's hard to consider working outside the home since you haven't in so long but having the stress of coming up with all of the extra $ for baby essentials is probably very stressful for your husband and will only get worst if it is not a team effort. If you can be more of a partner in that area then maybe, for a few months, that would be worth it.
That being said, some people (mom or other family members) may want to gift you bigger items (car seat, stroller, ect) and can be put onto a registery. If they aren't purchased you can use the registry completion coupon for those must haves. As pp daid, gently used is a great option too.
Also, expecting you to participate in family functions or activities isn't out of the ordinary. It's pretty unreasonable of you To include family reunions in your bubble of unable to do if your dr hasn't put physical limitations on you.

MamaOwl15 · May 2015

I worked throughout my entire pregnancy with my son, right up till the day before he was born. In fact, I literally had to call out from work and tell my boss "sorry I'm going to have to start my maternity leave early because I'm having my baby today!"

I was working full time up till a few weeks before my missed miscarriage in September, at a job that required heavy lifting (up to 100 lbs) and being on my feet a lot. I asked my doctor if this had possibly had anything to do with my miscarriage, and he said no. Not to mention that I was by far not the first woman in their employ to have a baby.

I'm currently a stay at home mom, and I won't be pursuing employment outside the home for another year or so, for various reasons. My pregnancy is the least of those. The cost of childcare, on the other hand is . . .

In order to help defray the cost of the baby items we'll need and don't receive as gifts, I do things like online surveys, redeeming grocery rebates and using the Shopkick app. When DS was born, we bought a lot of his gear on Craigslist, which saved a bundle.

If you find that you actually need to work, there are options. Walmart would hire you, temp agencies wouldn't probably have an issue with your pregnancy, or if you have a hobby like making jewelry or sewing, you might be able to sell some things for a little extra. Or babysit, walk dogs, etc.

satori15 · May 2015

The social stuff is totally fine. I was hanging out at the lake all day when I was pregnant with DS the weekend before he was born. It was hot but I just put my swollen feet in the water, stayed hydrated and relaxed in the shade. I wouldn't want to go camping but that's not a safety concern, more of an "owe, my poor back" concern.

And, I pretty much agree with PP about the work thing. I've been the primary breadwinner for the last 6 years. I worked a job with long hours and lots of standing right til DS was born. Had to call my boss to cover my shift the next day from the hospital waiting room. It was fine.

I am sorry you're feeling anxious and that you suffered a loss. I definitely worry about a lot more when I'm pregnant. Are you sure you're not just depressed? Not wanting to attend family events or do much of anything sounds like depression.

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